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Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 18
Handshake, kiss, or hug?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)

But what do you do when you first say hello?

What are the men most comfortable with?

A French kiss works best with me.

But you have to do what is comfortable for you.

but what is the norm?

The guy who sits at the end of the bar on Cheers.

Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 19
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/5/2012 1:03:35 PM
I don't care how a first meet starts or ends. It's the meat and potatoes of the meet that matters-what happens in between start and finish. But I would like somebody there to wave a checkered flag if the meet went well. If you get all mushy with hugs or kisses when you first meet, and the meet turns into an interview/interrogation, everything else is a waste of time. The only way to save that type of night is to have sex.
Joined: 1/4/2012
Msg: 22
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/5/2012 9:36:38 PM
I always reach for a handshake, then pull them in for a hug and kiss on the cheek, it's so natural to me that I do it with everyone. I won't lip lock but I'm usually so excited and appreciative of the meet that I greet them as I do my friends, but not with such a tight squeeze, that treat is for later! Usually guys are more skeptical on how to approach a woman during their first meet, usually you can get a person's perspective by the signs sometimes not so much, but I guarantee if you meet me, I will reach out for some loving, I don't mean to offend anyone just my nature! If you are really concerned about it, don't hug or kiss them, just a firm handshake will do!
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 23
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Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/5/2012 11:07:29 PM
At the first meet I tended not to touch at all, although my first long relationship from here started with a handshake, instigated by him. I made a point to end each first meet with a cheek kiss and hand on the arm or shoulder. If they make the effort to show up, be good company and we have connected at any level at all, it just seemed right. One sweet guy who I felt nothing for, used the cheek kiss moment to drop in 2 of my favourite chocolate bars into my bag (we had come across an English lolly shop in Sydney and I had been transported back to childhood).
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 25
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/6/2012 3:24:15 AM
If I'm really interested........I'll hug them and kiss them.....and strart grinding my erection into them.
Joined: 3/25/2009
Msg: 27
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Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/7/2012 6:38:22 PM
I gotta stop reading forums because never in my life have I put any solid thought into this matter of the "meet and greet", and I'm surprised people have their own methods. Now that I think about, I usually give a hug hello and a hug goodbye. Whatever happened during that time is what counts.
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 29
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/9/2013 4:38:51 AM
If it's a new person I am meeting for the first time, a nice smiling hello will do, and no matter how it goes, I always give a quick hug goodbye at the end.

Also, hugs are a good way to gage someone's interest. hehe..I joke about this, but there is the nice "body hug" where someone embraces you right back, and thats's a good indicator they enjoy/want to touch you. The other sort of hug is the "non boob hug" as I call it, where they guy will carefully position himself so that he only touches your neck and pats the back of your shoulder, pulling his body away so he does not make contact with your breasts.

The non boob hug test works like a charm, every guy who has hugged me that way has never been interested in me. :D
Joined: 2/4/2013
Msg: 30
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/9/2013 4:40:05 AM
I just day "hi" glad to have finally met you(with a big smile) and then talk incessantly all night till they get bored,haha
Joined: 2/28/2013
Msg: 31
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/9/2013 5:02:13 AM
Like you say, it's different for everyone. Personally, on a first meet I prefer to shake hands at the beginning and again at the end. I always found it off-putting when someone wanted to hug or kiss me the first day we met. It was just too familiar for me for someone I'd just met. Beginning with the second date, if I felt comfortable with the person, I'd be fine with a hug or light kiss.
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 32
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Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/9/2013 7:14:34 AM
Wouldn't feel comfortable with a hand shake..Giving or receiving..
If she is all about inviting her personal place/her little bubble, or possibly worry about germs on my hand, we really wouldn't be compatible.
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 33
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/9/2013 7:23:15 AM
On first meeting, NEVER and I mean NEVER shake hands. Just don't do it. If she is crass enough to stick out her hand, take it, move toward her and put your other arm around her in a light hug while keeping hold of her hand.

A light hug on meeting is perfectly appropriate. I always kiss her goodbye if I am interested in her.
Joined: 9/4/2009
Msg: 34
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/9/2013 7:39:29 AM
My dates usually end with the ceremonial exchange of restraining orders.
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 35
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/9/2013 8:19:42 AM
op: I'm new to this and don't know how to begin or end a first meeting.

Oh dear. I don’t know either, and I’ve been at this quite a while. Wouldn’t we be a pair of bumbling fools!

Actually, I prefer to meet a woman who isn’t quite certain. A little mutual awkwardness about it is more endearing to me than claiming to know exactly what to do in any and all such circumstances.

People are different after all and moods change, and besides, wouldn’t it depend on the tone of our previous correspondence and the sense of affinity between us? wouldn't it depend on how we feel about each other in the moment?

I’m ok with a handshake. I’m ok with nothing. I’m ok with a little hug if it feels right, but like I say, it’s all about the rapport. A one-size-fits-all policy on this reduces it to a matter of social convention, and if we’ve already had a nice conversation or two on the phone, we’re probably past that. I prefer awkwardness. It feeds my lust for dangerous living. Just don't stare. My eyes are up here.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 36
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/9/2013 9:59:45 AM
Since you are both pretty much strangers to each other in person, go with whatever happens. I don't think this matters. A handshake could turn into a relationship, a hug and kiss could go nowhere. Don't think...just be.
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 37
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/9/2013 10:11:28 AM
Why, why, why is it always so difficult? Don't you wish Emily Post would update her book with today's "How to behave on every occaision"? I for one have difficulty reading minds. It is said that first impressions count a lot; and that they can never, ever be redone. So, a guy has to get it right, right! What to do, what to do? What is the answer to the question posed here??
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 38
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/9/2013 3:22:07 PM
I dont think I would use a handshake, that is too formal if you are potential dates. A first meeting I would not touch them unless I felt a real attraction. At the end of it if all went well, then a hug and a quick kiss if you feel like it and you are going to see each other again. Heck some go the whole nine yards on a first date from what I hear lol!!

Seriously you have to be wary and speak on the phone and hear a voice at least, before you go for the meeting for half an hour and coffee.
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 39
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/9/2013 3:25:43 PM
If we had exchanged several messages on POF and had a connection already established, a hug is appropriate. Otherwise, either a handshake or nothing - such as if I am already seated and I wave at him as he walks in, if I recognize him from his photos.
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 40
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/9/2013 3:26:15 PM
some have actually done that and I wonder how well that works lol!!
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 42
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/9/2013 11:10:25 PM
lol, you guys are over thinking it. Hug or handshake or kiss, it does not matter. Plus, everyone else is just as confused on this issue as you guys are - so again, it does not matter. Just make sure you have a real kiss by date three so you don't get stuck in the friend's zone.

Listen, I have:

1) Shook hands on a date - the ones that liked me at the end of the date still liked me after the date.

2) hugged on a date - the ones that liked me at the end of the date still liked me after the date.

3) kissed on the cheek on a date - the ones that liked me at the end of the date still liked me after the date.

4) Had a real kiss on the lips - the ones that liked me at the end of the date still liked me after the date.

But I will say to the guys, if you go in for the first real kiss and she turns her head and you get a mouthful of hair, the ole' hairball trick, she is not attracted to you. And for the women that will say they don't kiss on a first date - they have before - but only when the guy was really special. Duh! - that's exactly what you are looking for. Do you smell the coffee......... date?!
Joined: 12/4/2012
Msg: 43
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/10/2013 6:48:49 AM
This is my approach (& I am actually signing off today, because I have met someone & fortunately for me, the warm feelings are mutual.)

I think we are all in this together. This isn't easy, I extend both hands & just say something funny to do with the meeting "you look just like your picture, what a surprise!" or something to break the tension. Clearly, not every meet is going to be good, but I try to be charming & good company. I have made several friends on dates, no chemistry-but tons in common & have actually been instrumental in pairing them with someone else...where there is tons in common & chemistry.

I am by nature a cheek kisser at the end of most meetings in life. THIS HAS STOPPED! Twice a man has turned his face quickly & thrust his tongue in my mouth. Shocking, awkward & no way to get over that.

I really enjoyed the 'process' & wish you good luck. Part of enjoying the process is having a great sense of humor & treating people with respect. It's that easy.
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 44
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Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/10/2013 6:58:05 AM
I'll take some tonsil hockey and a gentle grasp of deez nuts!
Joined: 10/2/2011
Msg: 45
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Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/10/2013 9:42:00 AM
I'm glad someone posted this question. It was part of mine. I think a hug is fine for a first date, and nothing more. Your meeting for the first time, he or she is almost a stranger! Would you feel comfortable kissing a stranger on the street?
Even when you've been talking awhile online and then meet, I would feel odd kissing that person on the first date. I'm glad I'm not alone on this.
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 46
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/10/2013 10:57:00 AM
This is one of the most controversial things you will ever see on this board... "Would a woman kiss a man on the first date?" - just wait until a new thread on this comes up. You have to understand a couple of things:

1) People talk differently and do different things when they are in a state of love, or falling in love - what this means basically is that most of the women just dating and who do not currently have a crush on someone will say different things than what they will actually do when they feel some level of love for a person. This is why almost all the the relationship books out there are more than 80% wrong - because the experts ask people what they would do, rather than do scientific testing and see what people actually do in live, love situations. Basically, actions scream and talk is cheap! Plus, they don't talk about love or love levels, which most people know instinctively when they hear it, are a part of any healthy relationship. Would a person in love with their spouse want a divorce? Do you smell what I'm cooking?! So, any expert or psychologist that does not harp on love and only talks about the mechanics of relationships is missing a huge piece of the puzzle.

2) Following that, many women will often say they don't kiss on a first date, but if they think back, there was a time in their life where they did kiss a man the first time they met. But it's rare, they have to really like the guy and think he is very special... and like I said, that's exactly what you want anyway. Sure it's rare. So is falling madly in love. That does not mean it never happens.

I don't really like to talk about my personal life here, but this is what these boards are for... out of the last 5 coffee dates I have had at least three of the women falling in love with me on the date! I could see it at the table over the course of the hour. I am very intuitive (gut feelings) for a man, always was, and when I realized that intuition was one of the major keys to understanding relationships and women, I began to improve mine and brought it to a conscious level, even to the point of having psychic-like visions (although I don't believe in psychics and think there is a scientific explanation for it all). Many people, when developing a crush, love, will telegraph this through body language. It's called projection. These three women were ready for a full kiss on the lips at the end of the date.

When I was younger, there were a couple of times where women I barely knew or just met, let alone ever went on a date with, came right up to me and kissed me passionately on the lips. They made the move! So much for women never wanting to accept a kiss on a first date!
Joined: 11/10/2012
Msg: 47
Handshake, kiss, or hug?
Posted: 3/10/2013 2:15:14 PM
LOL..That was funny haha
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