i googled about this and yes I could see some payoffs. but not yet up to knowing what the different questions will be. I am still thinking about a few possible pay offs. but I am not sure if I have the right idea or not yet. I am going to read some more. this is difficult stuff.
here are a few examples of my own, being once involved in a long-term lousy relationship. i don't think they necessarily apply to you, but they'll illustrate the principle.
- i'm doing this for the kids
- love conquers all
- i don't know what will happen if i leave; looks kinda scary
- therefore staying is bad, but leaving must be even worse
....and last but not least....
- i married a man who treated me the way i secretly felt about myself.
All five of those were some kind of a payoff. The first four were merely excuses, but that last one was a revelation. OMG no looking back after that one, LOL!
kailania, a good but difficult search leads to cool stuff that'll stay with you. i'm sure you'll find your own "revelation" if you keep looking.