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 Chocolate_Brown31
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 40
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I never understood why people complain about getting attention online. It's a free dating site, you have to sift through the garbage to find something you like. Also people are on here primarily to have a good time, not to find soulmates. Or else they'd pay the 50 bucks and create a detailed search profile on one of those match maker sites.

Personally i think that if someone is acting like a jerk you don't respond... at all... they want to meet you the next day, don't respond. They ask for your number too fast, don't respond. When they sand that nasty message, don't read at it...

But it is a dating site, not a messaging site, the point is to meet people. So if someone wants to go for a coffee after a few messages, they kind of got it right. Nothing's worse than sending 50 message to a girl just to find out she's an absolute square once you meet her in person!!!
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 42
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/1/2012 7:42:01 AM
It seems like a lot of women on this site just don't understand why people come to this site. Too many people just want to talk. If some guy is a serial-killer-rapist, he's going to be that same guy regardless of if he messages you on here, or randomly walks up to you in a bar. The amount of time between the first message and when you meet someone doesn't magically change the kind of person they really are.

And over time, it just gets old. It's hard enough to even get a simple "no" out of you girls. It adds a lot of frustration when meeting is this 3 week long adventure where they just never have the free time, then you FINALLY meet, and one person isn't interested in the other. It might be hard to believe, but people get tired of that.

Nobody wants to waste their time. It's a dating site, people come here to meet people. That said, what's so terribly bad about meeting someone for coffee or something? You have the same odds of being raped by someone you met on here as you do of a rapist randomly walking into the store while you're getting coffee for yourself before work. It's also more natural to do all the talking in person, it gives you an idea of if there's any real interest early, before anyone wastes their time going for someone that they really have no interest in when they meet the REAL person.

It's like the girls that don't want to go through dark places because someone might be hiding there.... Like people really just sit on an unlit road for hours waiting for someone to randomly be walking past....
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 43
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/1/2012 10:56:24 AM

mysterioustallmn
OK then, you have 2 minutes to reply, must give me your phone number within 5 minutes and set up the meeting which must occur within the hour, preferably at a cheap motel, your key being at the desk or else this just isn't going to work out. I'm sorry we couldn't make this happen, I was looking forward to everlasting love despite having never met you. I believe this falls straight into the category of some men believing every woman wants to have sex with them. These are the guys about one step away from being serial killers. However, I'm also certain that some women will actually fall all over themselves complying with every command.



LMAO as much as what you said is funny its also sadly true in some cases some guys really do play that exact game an exspect to meet up with in a whole 30minutes of half assed or no conversation..sometimes your lucky if you even get 5minutes of conversation that isnt combined down to 2 or 3 word sentences an bad blurry pics..

while i agree with meeting up with somebody in person to chat with that you may have intrest in or you both have common intrest an attraction...i also know that sometimes you dont even have to waste time meeting certain people to know dear God thier a train wreck waiting to happen with all the baggage of exs multiple women mutiple kids with multiple women in an out of jail ect ect or a 1 bottle short of a full medicine cabinet..or the shady commitment phobes who cant even commit to paying thier own phone bill let alone commit to a real person..
 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 46
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History
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/8/2012 10:35:40 AM
Chocolate Brown31

never understood why people complain about getting attention online. It's a free dating site, you have to sift through the garbage to find something you like. Also people are on here primarily to have a good time, not to find soulmates. Or else they'd pay the 50 bucks and create a detailed search profile on one of those match maker sites.

Personally i think that if someone is acting like a jerk you don't respond... at all... they want to meet you the next day, don't respond. They ask for your number too fast, don't respond. When they sand that nasty message, don't read at it...

But it is a dating site, not a messaging site, the point is to meet people. So if someone wants to go for a coffee after a few messages, they kind of got it right. Nothing's worse than sending 50 message to a girl just to find out she's an absolute square once you meet her in person!!!


Well said & Ditto!
 LedZeppelin2014
Joined: 2/27/2012
Msg: 47
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/8/2012 10:56:56 AM
Hello OP,

I'd shy away from this situation too young lady. Especially with the online identity stealing problems we have now. On the other hand I don't believe in chatting for more than a week. As a matter of fact I've only chatted a few times and done most of my communicating through E-Mail. If I want to meet someone I ask if we can meet and leave it up to the women to share her number or setup a meetup with them. I've been on for 5 or 6 weeks and have gotten about a half a dozen phone numbers. I have yet to ask for a phone number because the women have offered after I've spent time telling them about myself and listening to their needs and wants.

For those angry guys, who are probably not smart enough to read the forums and try to learn something, stop it you're being an idiot, go find some help. I believe the problem has something to do with their ability to handle rejection and/or they are still dealing with baggage from their last relationships. There are definitely some weirdos on POF but it's no different than any other dating site or in real life for that matter. I suggest block and report anything odd.

Peace & Love
 Greg19899
Joined: 10/10/2011
Msg: 52
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/8/2012 12:41:12 PM
It may be their personality, or just frustration with some of their experiences on the site. So many women on here want to talk and talk, and never seem interested in meeting, or they meet once and only have time in their schedule for another drink, date, etc..2-3 weeks later. Not one mind you, numerous...so without defending the guys, I'm just offering you a view from the other side. If you talk my ear off and it takes several weeks and you still haven't found time to talk ot go out, then I delete the emails and block you. Or, you get people who list their location as "here" and they are states away and thinking of moving "here." Seriously? lol We all have schedules, lives, and desires..

I'm not into pressure, but I am quick to point out BS.. Besides, men know that if you haven't met within a week of endless emails, or chatting, you are not interested and you are looking for a chat buddy, or ego boost while you are talking to other guys on the side.
 Greg19899
Joined: 10/10/2011
Msg: 53
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/8/2012 12:45:26 PM
You are 100% correct. It's a place to talk and meet..not spend endles months with some fantasy hot chick who never seems to have time..they string you along..and gee..maybe you are a little short tempereds with the next stringer..lol
 Greg19899
Joined: 10/10/2011
Msg: 54
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/8/2012 12:51:21 PM
I'm one of the cynical ones..lol Two weeks for a coffee date? I've given up on this site..bars are easier, or church, or work than POF. If a woman wants to wait 2 weeks, it's because she is sorting through hundreds of emails from competing guys. Let's call it what it is..
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 55
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/8/2012 1:38:40 PM
greg19899
Or, you get people who list their location as "here" and they are states away and thinking of moving "here." Seriously? lol We all have schedules, lives, and desires..

I'm not into pressure, but I am quick to point out BS..


i try to be quick on the draw myself at times when it comes to calling bulls hit but even the best slip up or miss something on the radar sometimes..

here's 40% of the what i understand about people who do not live in the same state or are only passing through
ok i get it you want to try an make new friends before maybe moving there or find somebody to hookup with while "in town"

Now here comes the realistic part if a person is actually looking for somebody they can see weekly an talk an hangout an spendtime or just chill at each others places.

how does a person who lives 200 500 or even a 1000 miles away fall into that catagory an actually see it as Oh ya that could work with us..uh no it can not..remind me how is it if i feel like going out to a bar or want to come over an watch a movie how are you or me going to that when your 500miles away compared to somebody who only lives 15mins away..am i suppose to mark that down on the calender 2months in advance movie time nite with random guy who only lives 545miles away oh but wait thats a maybe because "he's only thinking about moving here so no promises..

an the people who are only passing through i wasnt aware i was suppose to be a tour guide a motel an give away an evening of sex just because your going to be in town for a few hours or couple of days.. did i sign some invisiable contract that says im obligated to have to host you just because your going to be here..

am i also getting a check for this too as well? if not why should i hop out of bed an get excited just because your passing through an are bored or horny..you know how many bored an or horny men already live here what makes you so special?
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 56
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/8/2012 7:37:07 PM
just block anyone that starts pestering you.

also, if a man wants to meet you right away, then he probably is looking for a hook up. on the other hand, there are men that will just want to email back and forth over and over again for months without asking ya out. that is annoying, too. when i was dating on here, i would receive a ton of messages. it became very annoying when someone would email me or want to chat all the time but yet never asked to meet me. i wasn't here to chit chat or send message after message, i was here to meet someone. it started to annoy me so i basically just hit the delete button half the time.
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 58
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/9/2012 12:27:31 PM
Otter play has exited stage left.
 TheCritic
Joined: 3/7/2011
Msg: 59
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/9/2012 12:59:14 PM
The soon you meet the better, many people agree to that.. ONLINE dating requires a lot of time, effort and energy.. Generally people who come to online dating are those who have more time on their hands, are willing to take higher risks and seek greater rewards, those who took the time to make them selves available to date..

Keep in mind, once you have a good convo going you build up something called a vibe/momentum to keep it going it is imperative to schedule a date within the first 72 hours of talking.. In the expert online dating circles this is referred to as "window of close".. Which is why these males are pressuring you into it, seems normal to me.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 63
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/10/2012 9:23:59 AM
.that I don't know from Adam unless I talk with each of them a few times before I decide if they sound interesting enough to meet.

Okay, that takes a couple of days, not a couple of weeks.

The mob of ordinary forgettable men/boys who can't handle the competition. Are not man enough to face the challenge.

That's strange. I always thought that women who were dawdling were the ones who weren't up to the challenge.

Do you know what the men of the mob do? They are the ones who want to meet you NOW.

That's also what they guys with options do. I certainly didn't miss anyone who dragged her feet. I just stopped talking to her and talked to someone else instead.

common sense tells me that a decent woman who is attractive, confident and smart and is financially set really is NOT attracted to mob men....at all.

A woman who is all of those things, especially self-confident, isn't afraid to show interest in a guy and meet him quickly. Talk is cheap. People with self confidence act. People who are smart make good decisions quickly.
 sun_shine_2008
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 66
view profile
History
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/10/2012 10:35:12 AM
I dont want to wait weeks to meet someone but I hate when they send a first email and say lets meet......ummmm no I need to get a feel for if we are compatible, if we cant talk in email or phone then we sure cant in person
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 70
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/11/2012 12:21:02 AM
say no and then block them. Very easy.
 tensail
Joined: 10/15/2009
Msg: 72
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/11/2012 1:30:00 AM
want meet soon- its cause of sexual/emotional problems, stay clear of em, vey want sex.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 74
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/11/2012 12:58:35 PM
I think EVERYBODY should exercise some caution in giving out personal information that could be used to locate them.
This is where the good ol' dollartwoninetyeight no-contract cell phone comes in handy. I'm not talking about sexual predators specifically, there are also scammers and people who look for burglary opportunities.
As far as people DEMANDING anything...well, they can go demand with some other fool.
Look, I think we are all adults here. We have jobs, businesses, families or other obligations... demanding to meet "within hours" is just plain absurd. Setting aside a polite amount of time for a first meeting may not be something that can happen immediately. Oh, I don't guess it hurts to ask or suggest just in case someone happens to be at loose ends for the moment-but anybody who expects to have a first meet at either persons' home is right out of their ever'lovin' mind!

I have to agree with a few other women here and report that I have had very few instances of men being demanding, pushy, rude in expecting an instant meeting-here or anywhere else. I suppose that a lot of the reason for that could be demographics and geography. I have occasionally encountered men who were trying to push an agenda and THOUGHT they were being more subtle, which did not necessarily earn them extra points,lol. (If you are gonna try to play head games with someone,/manipulate someone, fer Pete's sake at least be good at it!

Oddly enough, or maybe not so oddly, for being a free site it seems that there are a lot of men members who seem to think that female members are OBLIGATED to accept dates with any reasonable candidate, that signing up on a dating site invalidates a womans' right to date men she actually WANTS to date...
All I can say is that this AIN'T a store, members are not merchandise available on a first come, first served basis. If there are people who honestly expected that this was a "guaranteed dating experiences" outfit, I suggest they ask for their money back...lol.
Cindy O
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 75
view profile
History
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/11/2012 1:47:51 PM
4. You prefer to have the woman initiate/contact you. This shows me that you can be a scaredy-cat.


He has patience and will wait for my signal

what rom-com script did this come from? you really expect a guy to be assertive up to and no further than the point when you want him to be passive? so you can call all the courtship shots except the ones that involve emotional or social risk to you? good luck with that; the dating world ain't exactly crawling with attractive mindreaders who are bipolar in just the perfect way.
 shaggy458
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 76
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/12/2012 8:17:25 AM
Welcome to POF mzee....seems to be par for the course around here!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 77
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/12/2012 4:05:16 PM

I like how women complain about being bombarded by douchebags and yet a nice guy like me hasn't had any responses and I have left like 15 thoughtful messages. *shrugs*

You are looking at this as an "either/or" situation and it is not an "either/or" situation.
When a woman speaks of being bombarded by douchebags-she's usually speaking of men who send sexually explict/propositioning emails, inappropriate pictures, etc. There are also emails from guys that she just doesn't think would be a match-these guys don't fall into d-bag category but if there is no sense of potential for a match why should she respond favorably?
I don't personally have much trouble along those lines but I've been in communication with a lot of women who get some pretty sleazy offers and suggestions. I've looked and looked, and for the life of me I cannot locate the headline that designates PoF as a "free online whorehouse"? Maybe only guys get the home page that says this? (Btw this is intended as mild sarcasm,lol)

The fact that a guy sends an email that ISN'T grapically sleazy and presumptous doesn't give him some kind of bonus points that over-ride a womans' sense that the man isn't her type/wouldn't be a good match.

I don't know if this what the quoted poster meant-maybe he is saying that he sent messages to 15 different women-I hope he's not saying he keeps emailing one particular woman who has not responded to him.

But the deal here is not just a matter of any guy who doesn't send sexually explicit emails being entitled to responses just because some other men ARE d-bags. It's a matter of thoughtful(or humorous) email and a feeling on the part of the woman that there is potential for a good match, and that is about SO MUCH MORE than just NOT being a d-bag. Attraction, interests in common, same age range, geographic proximity( for many people), seeming to be from the same general educational/socioeconomic background, factors like being in agreement on pets, kids, smoking, similarity of residential situation and preferences, there are a TON of things that factor in-it's about way more than just sending thoughtful/respectful emails. It's just not that black&white,
Cindy O
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 80
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/13/2012 7:43:37 AM
This thread brings up some interesting questions.
I get that there are losers in here, like anywhere humans congregate but is it actually so bad that hordes of pushy, controlling freaks would be the only kind of responses you'd get? I don't want to blame the victim or anything but is it possible the OP is maybe exaggerating just a tad about how soon these monsters started to become rude?

For example, I haven't been back in here that long but I have noticed a huge difference in the online dating experience now as compared to 2004, for example. The number of promising chats that fizzle inexplicably into a total silent treatment is rather disturbing. The profiles that seem to describe you perfectly, as if they'd made it up after reading what you were looking for but don't even bother to respond to a greeting are odd too. A guy can get the impression that POF is filled with paid actors who hang out to string pathetic losers along. Maybe this might be a contributing factor to guys wanting to get the "bullshit" out of the way and go out on a date?

I'm here to meet women to date. Not to type at anonymous strangers who present themselves however they see fit on the internet endlessly. I'm a real man, hopefully I'm chatting with a real woman, the sooner we meet up, the sooner we can get on with living our lives, maybe even together? Ooooo, what a concept.

Having said all this, anyone trying to push you into anything you don't feel comfortable with is totally ridiculous. I think a bunch of folks really need to sit down and honestly figure out what it is that they want before making up a profile and spreading more drama in the world.


In fact, one particular gent bombarded me with about 6 messages in the space of a half hour. I hadn't even finished putting up my full profile. He told me I was beautiful before I'd even put up photos, and then commented each time I added a new picture, all without a single response from me. He also sent me numerous chat requests - I ended up disabling the chat feature because he did my nut in. Then I figured out how to block him!


This kind of comment sounds frightening and tragic to be sure but I have to wonder, could it have all been completely avoided with a simple "no thanks" earlier on in the scenario? So many stories like this seem totally avoidable by simply not trying to avoid situations to begin with. Put on your big girl panties and say "thanks for writing but I don't date fat, old guys who say things like "neked" in their opening remarks". Of course tact and diplomacy would work much better but even harshness is infinitely more compassionate than ignoring someone and hoping they will "just go away".

For those genuine psycho nutjobs harassing folks in here, the block feature is your first line of defence. Make sure you report these people, if they get their profiles deleted often enough, they'll eventually find another site to troll for willing victims...won't they? If not, well cleverness and imagination have all sorts of wonderful value to them.
 amalefriend
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 81
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 5/13/2012 8:07:41 AM
Ad Homonym,

You make some good points, like about "No Thanks"

However, I do want to point out that the block feature on chatting does not seem to work for every person on here. That is to say it works for me with some people and not with others. There is a man on here who has been bugging me for about a month now every time he sees that I am logged in, even though I have told him numerous times I am not interested and don't wish to continue our conversations. I finally used the word "harrassment" with him yesterday, told him I was going to report him. Then I reported him. If I could have print-screened the conversation yesterday it would have been strong evidence regarding what I am saying. He feels that I do not have a right to stop talking with him until I have answered all of his questions about why I am not interested, to his satisfaction. I can imagine how he (a professional in his 50s) treated his ex-wife and it makes my skin crawl quite frankly! However, even in reporting someone, I gather that POF only acts if there has been numerous complaints about someone.
 drumsafrican12
Joined: 6/19/2012
Msg: 82
view profile
History
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 6/26/2012 4:06:12 PM
When you first send a message to someone, advise them of your dating philosophy, that you like to speak to someone for an hour or so before you meet them. Also that if you spend an hour on the phone and don't feel comfortable, you will advise him and not meet with him in person. That will chase off people who are needy and demanding, as a rule.

If you are always getting these types of communications from men, you must be doing something to attract them.

Is your photo blatantly sexy? Are your comments too inviting sexually?

Set your limits up front and others will have to fit into them.

Judith
 BIGMRJD
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 84
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 7/7/2012 5:21:19 AM
OTTERPLAY, I understand there are alot of crazy men seeking power,control and sex on these web sites. However, there are a few good men, like myself, who want to talk a litttle on line and meet face to face over drinks or lunch in a casual setting. TALK IS CHEAP BEHIND A PC.However when talking in person, one can see the facial expressions, body language and reactions to a certain conversation. its just like a blind date so whats the diference. ?the only way to find out a person is telling the truth about themselves in a profile, is to meet face to face. asking for information and numbers right away isnt my style. thats completely crazy. i have the problem of not owning a vehicle right now. women want to be picked up and brought home.they feel its okay for a man to do all the driving but not the woman . i love driving just cant afford a vehicle at the moment.peace,god bless to all.
 Wapikicoli
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 85
view profile
History
Demanding strangers, who want to meet within hours, want phone numbers, etc.
Posted: 10/29/2012 11:15:06 PM
Ive been on this site for a couple years now...I stop by now and then because honestly ive not found a man of quality that i'm attracted too..but to get back to what you posted, I deal with this alot..those that are interested come right out the gate asking my bra size, all tall i am...even to the point of asking if i "shave"...WTH?? They want my cell number and are very pushy about meeting..thus why ive not dated much from this site..Although i havent had much luck, I did meet a very nice man and dated for 4 months and it ended nicely and we're still friends...but the majority are what you are describing....I have no answer for you other than I feel you...i just ignore them when they start with that crap....
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