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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 51
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Why the prejudice against dating a person one's own age? For example you can come across a person's profile who is 50 years old but will only date up to 43 years old. If these individuals think people their own age are undesirable why don't they see themselves as undesirable?


I know this thread is old but...

I know a woman in her 70's, her primary care doctor works in my clinic, who only dates younger men. She explained that she is unable to have a relationship with men her age or older, because they die of old age too soon.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 52
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/6/2015 1:19:30 AM
I had a man in his 70's today get upset that I told him, thank you but I am seeking someone my own age.
He kept sending me messages about how I was missing out, how fabulous he is and how age is just a number.
Thank goodness for the block button.


Your lady friend is right.
A man in his 70's will die sooner than a woman the same age.
 runningout
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 53
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Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/6/2015 3:04:35 AM
Gross Sea....I would think that since women outlive, therefore, outnumber men, he should have lots of options a little closer to his age. I don't know if it is gender specific or not, but the majority of men that view me on here are anywhere from 5 to 20 years older.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 54
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/6/2015 10:14:51 AM
1) In the vein of being self-obsessed... Most people use their OWN perspective for age and life experiences as the 'average', regardless of what surveys or the census or merely counting faces and heads. Their past experiences becomes the biggest modifier of their perspective, not the truth or any true law of numbers.
---- A marathoner more than likely assumes someone who likes 'running' does so for a few kilometers more than a 2x-a-week jogger would, that kind of thing.

2) Most use online dating to seek out what they consider 'above' average - an 'ideal' match - not an average one. They may be flexible in those choices, but the computer search engines have to stick to the specifics when searching. Once a person finds their comfort zone for searching, it rarely ever changes - unless a bad relationship forces them to re-think specific options. That means whatever age they consider 'ideal' usually stays locked in.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 55
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/6/2015 1:06:57 PM
Men's odds of dating successfully continue to go up as they get older..which is why it amazes me that middle age and older men STILL seem to have problems dating. I dont understand why...singles events and meet ups here in LA are PACKED with women...PACKED....many of which are very attractive, and many still "youthful" if not young and hot. I mean, you think OLD is stacked towards women...why not actually go to some meetups and singles events? That's where the women are! And they are in HEAVY competition for a man..which makes it all the more great for guys.

I know sooooooo many guys who are of modest means who have married very cute women..many Asian women at that..here in LA...total eye candy, sweet, good wives..why WOULD men need to "go their own way" when there are so many women looking for men..especially middle aged men? Middle age men are HOT PROPERTY to women. You cant give up.

I can tell you that at the age of 48, I am a non entity to men my own age..I would be THRILLED to date a man in his 70's. I have no issues about health concerns or death..that can happen to anyone at any time. I'm OK with it.

Hey maybe at 48, I'm still too old for a guy in his 70's, you never know!

Single, attractive women are as plentiful as pigeons around here...why do men still have such a hard time? I never ever thought women were hard to find...they are all over the place, always looking.

Perhaps the pigeons are all brain dead, or bitter birds? Do they expect too much? Or are there just as many broke, unemployed guys living at home? (to be honest...I know more than one)
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 56
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Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/6/2015 2:35:53 PM

VolkanoKing
Men's odds of dating successfully continue to go up as they get older..which is why it amazes me that middle age and older men STILL seem to have problems dating. I dont understand why...singles events and meet ups here in LA are PACKED with women...PACKED....many of which are very attractive, and many still "youthful" if not young and hot. I mean, you think OLD is stacked towards women...why not actually go to some meetups and singles events? That's where the women are! And they are in HEAVY competition for a man..which makes it all the more great for guys.


A meetup group I belong to, Singles over 50, are getting together this coming Saturday night.

Let's get dressed up and go dancing!


The below are actual comments posted on the web site for this event.


woman1
There are 5 men and 45 women going? What is wrong with men?


man1
Wow! That is a good question. i think it has something to do with just showing up.


woman2
Really, it's ridiculous. Happens so often on these singles events. Who has insight into men’s unwillingness to show up?


man2
Any suggestions. How can we bring more men's
to the group.


woman3
Thanks ____. It would be nice to have more men so more of us can have dance partners.


woman4
I love dance partners
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 57
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Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/6/2015 2:40:40 PM

VolkanoKing
I can tell you that at the age of 48, I am a non entity to men my own age..I would be THRILLED to date a man in his 70's. I have no issues about health concerns or death..that can happen to anyone at any time. I'm OK with it.

Hey maybe at 48, I'm still too old for a guy in his 70's, you never know!

VK, you gotta get out of LA! I mean, seriously now. I would slay a pack of dragons to get a date with a woman as beautiful as you.

On Edit: Or maybe I should just go to LA. Hmmmm…..
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 58
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/6/2015 3:05:07 PM
I can't leave yet! My career has me glued to LA. :( Trust me, I LONG to.

But see? Seeeeee? Men dont do the dance thing! Its always a bubblegum taco fest when you hit a certain age...and SAUSAGE fests? Long gone are those...All the sausages are hitting up younger poon on the computer.

I can't even IMAGINE anyone wanting to date me. To me, that part of my life has ceased to exist. Again and again I strike up conversations with a variety of men in my hiking group, no one wants to talk for very long, they just move on ahead, I try to chit chat when out in public but almost everyone has headphones in or are staring at their phone..no one smiles, no one says hello...everyone averts their eyes. You cant have conversations with men in an elevator or the store, because everyone is looking at their celphones.

I have really really lost perspective on myself, which probably alot of women have in this area. You can see by the previous post that what I said is true..about the ratio of men to women is drastically different. Total man shortage.

I think what's also going on is that men dont actually LIKE going out to these sort of events, women like to get out more and socialize, make eye contact, talk in person. Maybe men prefer the anonymous thrill of chatting up younger women on the computer and maybe trying to meet them. Whatever the case, men are NOT coming out in droves to meet women over 40.

There are just very real differences between men and women and you have to respect and understand that guys just arent that motivated to hang out with older women. What else is it? I cant even get men in their 60's interested. They just like to shop and eat. They've all turned into women! Hahaha
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 59
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/6/2015 3:49:06 PM

people usually prefer dating younger .


Yes -- my boyfriend does: he's 51 and I'm 42. ;-)
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 60
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/6/2015 6:04:18 PM

I can't leave yet! My career has me glued to LA. :( Trust me, I LONG to.


I've never had any desire whatsoever to step foot in the state of California, let alone LA. Your posts make it sound like a f*cking hellhole.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 61
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/6/2015 7:34:37 PM
fall blossom- I see it all the time in my age range, men my age, or older, looking for women younger than them.
Being fair to men, women do it too.
Reasons could be...........
They are very active and people in their age range can't keep up.
They are delusional and think that they can become/feel younger themselves, somehow.
They know anyone in their age range is going to see them for what they are, so they go for younger people, hoping they are easier to fool.
They just don't care, anyone over 18 is fair game.
They want arm candy.
The first one I can understand, the others are just sad.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 62
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/6/2015 8:35:46 PM
If you've never lived here for any amount of time, you cannot even imagine how hard it is to date.

http://www.thrillist.com/entertainment/los-angeles/why-dating-in-la-is-different-than-anywhere-else
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 63
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History
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/6/2015 8:38:04 PM

VolkanoKing
There are just very real differences between men and women and you have to respect and understand that guys just arent that motivated to hang out with older women. What else is it? I cant even get men in their 60's interested. They just like to shop and eat. They've all turned into women! Hahaha

No, you’ve got this wrong. Men want ATTRACTIVE women. It’s easier for women to be attractive when they’re younger, but there are always a few who will still have the looks when they get older. Your problem, the best I can make out, is the level of competition in LA is just too damned high.

I remember the first time I flew into John Wayne International Airport, in 1992. The woman taking the luggage off the plane was twenty-something, drop dead gorgeous, blonde hair down to her butt, and a body to die for. Honest to god, a 10 on anybody’s scale. And she was working as a baggage handler. How in hell are you going to compete with that? The short answer is, you can’t. If men walk around all day long seeing women who look like they just stepped out of a Playboy centerfold …
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 64
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/6/2015 8:38:46 PM
Ahh...good ole LA.

Most shallow city on the planet.

Yeah, only women have a hard time here...my a$$.
 shirleywonton01
Joined: 4/30/2015
Msg: 65
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/6/2015 10:19:08 PM
I've read a few articles that the majority of the over 50 crowd delusionally think they look much younger than their age and that of their peers. But here on POF it's obvious many members feel that are special, I've definitely noticed a good percentage of men feel they are worthy of younger women and reflect that in their age limits for contact. It's so delusional because we are all unique. Some guys look younger but so do some women etc.... It's a total turn off to demand younger flesh, I assume they have an ego problem.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 66
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/6/2015 11:12:59 PM
ALOT of guys say "people tell me I look younger than my age"...it's a really old cliche and probably more prevalent here than anywhere else.

Of COURSE I have way too much competition. I am a nothing compared to the sexy bag girls, waitresses, cashiers...talent, being funny and accomplished means nothing when it comes to dating. Nothing. In fact I was told by one guy he would never date a funny woman, because he wants to be the one making the jokes, he doesnt want to be involved in a comedy team.

So it goes!

I live and work here in LA for my own personal artistic enrichment, to push myself and challenge myself with many different projects. I can't live any other life, I would be short changing what I was born to do. And in answering my life's calling, I have to sacrifice having a man in my life, because I am not attractive enough. I consider it a fair trade off, at the end of the day when I am REALLY old and ugly, I'll still have my wit and talent.

Provided I don't have a stroke before then.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 67
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/6/2015 11:52:29 PM
Ok, why does Randy Newman love it so f*cking much? Or does he even live there anymore?
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 68
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/7/2015 12:03:09 AM
He must be one of the villagers.

California is great..dont want to move out of California. But LA...it's so funny, the cliches about this place..it's reputation..it's so so true. So many fricken vegans here too, that's the big thing..veganism and a neurotic attachment to one's rescue dogs. Pets come first over people. Yoga too. Gotta be into yoga,quinoa, kale, wear sunglasses and be super super metrosexually sensitive. Loads of p*ssy guys here...limp, marshmallow handshakes, easily offended, lower testosterone or something. Addicted entirely to celphones. No eye contact. No eye contact and no talking to anyone. Unless it's a phone call. Man purses. Entitlement. Micro brews.
 Where_Is_My_Muse
Joined: 6/13/2015
Msg: 69
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/7/2015 12:45:53 AM
Hey, don't knock microbrews. It's basically Americana who don't want to drink mass produced pizz water.

I don't drink beer, but I imagine the endeavor is on level with cheap rotgut vs. a Lagavulin 16. If you've never sipped an Islay Scotch, you're not an authority on manly.

Again, not a beer fan, but pretty sure Bud Light isn't manly.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 70
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/7/2015 8:38:50 AM
The obsession here with micro brews is funny. Very funny. Just like the obsession with sushi, yoga, eating organic and adopting dogs.

It's the religious status given to all these things, the SUPER IMPORTANT IMPORTANTNESS that goes with celphones and coffee and all other forms of hipster consumerism...like those in LA are the first people everz to drink eat or buy this stuff.

I've just never seen such neurotic, self involved silliness anywhere else.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 71
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/7/2015 8:52:18 AM


California is great..dont want to move out of California. But LA...it's so funny, the cliches about this place..it's reputation..it's so so true. So many fricken vegans here too, that's the big thing..veganism and a neurotic attachment to one's rescue dogs. Pets come first over people. Yoga too. Gotta be into yoga,quinoa, kale, wear sunglasses and be super super metrosexually sensitive. Loads of p*ssy guys here...limp, marshmallow handshakes, easily offended, lower testosterone or something. Addicted entirely to celphones. No eye contact. No eye contact and no talking to anyone. Unless it's a phone call. Man purses. Entitlement. Micro brews.


Um, yeah. I'll be avoiding that pretentious shithole.
 Where_Is_My_Muse
Joined: 6/13/2015
Msg: 72
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/7/2015 10:44:58 AM
It's just what people are into, Volcano King. Most of that stuff is in with crowds in numerous other cities too. It's hardly an L.A. thing. Are you sure you're not just mad at Millennials for well... existing... and projecting it on their interests good-or-bad?

I'm not into a lot of it, but then, I'm not into sports (well outside European motor racing) that much either, and as a guy, it's awkward, but that's what most guys are into. See, I think microbreweries are cool, microdistiling even moreso. My brother's wife has taken her bio sciences degree and turned it into a consulting thing in Denver. That's interesting, not selfish.

See, I try to take a more pragmatic approach to trends, for instance: I don't quite get the tenants of yoga, however yoga pants might be the single greatest invention ever; alternative music is WAY better now in my opinion than it was in the '90s; organic and GMO-free is snake oil bull, but the neighborhood bistro experience has never been better; why anyone would choose chunky glasses over contacts/lasik, but it's a good time to be a guy with a beard... you get the point.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 73
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/7/2015 11:05:13 AM
"It's just what people are into, Volcano King"

Breaking news! Thanks for clarifying.

I'm not "mad" at people. It's just funny. There's a hilarious sequence in Annie Hall which so encapsulates the insipid LA navel gazing. It's been going on for years. Has nothing to do with millennials. If anything, the baby boomers started all the organic snake oil stuff, although if you really want to stretch it back in time, companies like Kelloggs were in on it lonnnnng ago (Road to Wellville).
 J3LV3HL_WV3JP
Joined: 4/5/2015
Msg: 74
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/7/2015 11:13:34 AM

The obsession here with micro brews is funny. Very funny. Just like the obsession with sushi, yoga, eating organic and adopting dogs.


I love sushi. And puppies. maybe I can make it in L.A.. But I can't do Yoga (it hurts too much) and I need meat frequently.

Re: the origin of this thread - Everyone thinks they look great for their age. No one wants to date old people. Not even old people. In their eyes, they're still 28.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 75
Prejudice and indifference against dating one's own age?
Posted: 7/7/2015 11:56:39 AM
Well, the paleo diet is now the rage...and that allows meat. It seems to be another variable of the Atkins diet in a way, more protein based.
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