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 handycam
Joined: 10/17/2011
Msg: 42
Waiting on SexPage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Sorry to hear you 'got burned' Try slowing it down a little,that way you'll reduce the friction and avoid any burning.Hope this helps.
 starkheart
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 46
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 3/12/2012 9:54:22 AM
Seriously? You have every right to say you want to wait, and if the dude immediately becomes distant, then it's a fair bet that he really just wanted to get in your pants ... and you shouldn't WANT someone like that to become interested again: he's a player, and even if you end up in a relationship with him, there's a pretty fair chance he'll be on the look-out for someone to cheat with.

By the same token, if you make it clear that you intend to wait for months, or years, I, for one, would consider that unreasonable, and I'd bail on you. Sex should be an important part of ANY love relationship, and it would be pretty sad to discover on your wedding night that you really aren't sexually compatible!
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 48
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History
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 3/12/2012 10:33:42 AM
"Let me also ask you how you would have felt if you HAD slept with this women then found out you were turned off by her self esteem"

I am not going to hold back sexual intimacy from another women that comes into my life because of this woman if she deceived me. If you can't heal from the scars of a previous partner you have no business pursuing a new relationship.
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 52
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Waiting on Sex
Posted: 3/12/2012 5:07:30 PM
1. How long were you 2 dating?
2. It's not the norm I'm sure for people who click to not be physical in some form or fashion these days.
3. Just because one holds off the intimacy(sex) for a time is no more a quarantee that the relationship will work then if they have sex in the beginning.

We've all had bad experiences in our past dating lives, but still have to be open & willing to take the chance to be vulnerable otherwise you're trying to control ....love. I totally respect that it's your body/life and you do get to choose who you share it with and how much you share. The mistakes of your past are probably more that you chose with your eyes instead of your head/heart, so the sex wasn't an issue...it was your picker!!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 58
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 4/2/2012 12:45:01 PM
There is a great deal of merit in what IgorFrankensteen has said.
Unfortunately, men as emotionally competent and evolved as he is do not exactly grow in abundance.

OP-at the end of the day, you have to do what you feel is right for YOU. Just because the outcomes of your decisions aren't always what you had hoped for,doesn't mean that you must behave in a way that you are not comfortable with.

But-on the other side of the coin-as long as you were responsible and safe in having sex, don't beat yourself up if the guy loses interest. This is not to say that you just have sex with every guy who offers! Especially if you feel no interest/attraction. That would be sort of pointless, wouldn't it?
Bottom line, if a man and woman can't manage to willingly get onto the same page as far as having sex-whatever page that may be-I don't see the relationship having much future.
Cindy O
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 59
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 4/2/2012 1:05:13 PM

If a woman thinks that a man is only looking for sex; she should probably evaluate exactly what else she has to offer.


Get real, have you never been in a locker room. 1/3 to 1/2 the guys anywhere are more than happy to add to their "count" and don't give a dam what the woman had to offer besides the sex.

To the OP wait till you are comfortable, even if it does not work out then you will enjoy the experience a lot more and your self esteen will not suffer.

I am an old guy and a lot more patient than I used to be though. LOL
 Frogy27
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 63
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History
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 4/2/2012 3:25:52 PM
ok to me the hole point of dateing is for the sex just how i view it then when you get married the sex will stop then you get to know them iam sorry but i have dated girls that are never ready to have sex our they make u wait for ever what bs i will not date a girll for more then 2 weeks with out sex. call me scum our what ever you like idont care iam sick of dateing girls that are cold fish and dont like our care for sex like its a bad thing
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 68
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Waiting on Sex
Posted: 4/4/2012 7:29:09 AM
So this new guy was being "punished" for things that happened in your past. Personally, I feel that if a woman thinks she has to wait to have sex. 1, she is trying to establish leverage in the relationship and 2, she has her own personal issues that she needs to work out. There are too many women out there that don't have to play such games in order to establish a decent relationship.
 graytemplesandeyes
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 69
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Waiting on Sex
Posted: 4/4/2012 10:05:28 AM
I totally disagree with those who tell you that you can't trust a guy who says it's okay to wait. Especially at 21.

The longer you wait the better and the more likely that not only that you'll have a better chance of something long term and real, but also that when your true long term and real comes, that it will be better for you having waited.

The best long term man for you will be more than thankful that you've waited, and there are more out there than are advertised that are waiting for you.

Perhaps not on this site or these message boards, but there are plenty of them.

Stick to your guns. It is way way worth it.
 Frogy27
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 72
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History
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 4/24/2012 3:24:06 PM
if you want to wait so be it but i see no point in waiting what good does it do sex is sex i want a test drive as soon as i can be for we go any ware i give a girl one week no sex means shes not in to you so move on to some one who will put out
 tilark99
Joined: 1/21/2012
Msg: 73
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 4/24/2012 5:31:35 PM
Megs/OP, I have three thoughts to offer for your consideration.

1. He said he was fine with waiting for sex, but then lost interest. If the audio and the video don't match, beleive the video. Sometimes people say what they think they should, but their actions tell the truth.

2. Don't be mad at him for wanting sex. He's a man. Men, and many women, want sex. But often men and women need different things to feel ready to have sex with a particular person. You want to know him better, and that's okay. It's your decision. You should only have sex when you want to, regardless of whether they are ready to jump your bones sooner.

3. How to make him interested again? See #2 above. If you just want to get his attention, let him know you're ready for sex. If he were interested in you for more than sex. well, you probably would not be wondering how to recapture his attention. This does not mean he's a bad person, or that you are not loveable. It just means that right now, with you, he's probably not interested in a relationship that does not include sex. And right now, with him, you are not interested in jumping in to sex. So right now? The two of you are not a good match. Don't fret, he may not be the one, but that doesn't mean the right man is not out there. When you're true to yourself, you might chase away some men, but not the one you're supposed to be with.
 Donna989
Joined: 7/22/2010
Msg: 75
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 4/24/2012 6:49:49 PM
Personally I wouldn't look at it as having lost a chance. If he is truly deserving of you he would respect your decision and reasoning behind it. If he wanted to give the relationship a real chance to blossom into something deeper he wouldn't have a problem with waiting until you BOTH are ready to take it to the next level. You did nothing wrong, you were honest - it appears he was the deceitful one, which is obvious by his reaction. He actually did you a favor. Suppose he got what he wanted and then pulled this little stunt. If you're still interested tho, just keep the lines of communication open but don't compromise yourself. If he's really interested, and has any substance at all, he will eventually come back around. I wouldn't just sit around waiting on him tho. Remember, there's plenty of fish in the sea!! Hope this helps.
 frogone_1954
Joined: 2/26/2012
Msg: 76
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 4/24/2012 7:00:58 PM
I would wait for sex just to make sure the relationship is heading upwords
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 77
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 6/14/2012 11:47:16 PM

darknight48
which means hun he was only in it for the sex!!.make him intrested again wear reaveling clothes /open your legs.but it only be sex more than likely run,once he had what he wants. but glad you respect your self.dont get pressured into nothing x


Not necessarily, if he was just into it for sex, then he would have played the game and stuck around till he got sex. Then he would have taken off. You put that challenge in front of most players and they will win the game and then take off. For those kind of people the chase is more fun than catching the little fishy.
 clairedlawyer
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 78
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 6/15/2012 4:58:37 AM
You are correct...We women should make wise choices and we should not fall into trap of men getting us into bed just like that...We have to give ourselves the respect we deserve...If the guy doesnt accept that..move on there are other good men around who are looking for a real honest relationship, after all we dont have sex 24 hrs a day, its only minutes or an hour and after that what? Then thats when charatecter comes...
 clairedlawyer
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 79
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 6/15/2012 4:59:29 AM
Yes you are right.....
 CDigital78
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 80
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 6/15/2012 8:33:22 AM
You didn't get burned because you had sex too early in a relationship, you got burned because you picked the wrong guys to have sex with. "Sex too early" is never a problem, "sex with the wrong guy" IS and the longer you wait the more time you will have wasted to find out if you once again made a bad choice. If you keep getting burned by guys you need to seriously look at yourself and ask why you continue to attract/pick those guys.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 83
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 6/15/2012 2:55:42 PM
There's nothing more annoying to a guy than while he is waiting for the supposed sex to happen, he finds himself more in the "Just Friends" territory than being a lover.

And while I don't think that sex has to be rushed either, if sexual tension is not building from the get go, and the woman wants to use these withholding for whatever reason. I personally will lose interest and move on.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 85
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 6/15/2012 8:31:58 PM

ADDICTEDTOLOVE
I would wait for sex until I know I am going to be exclusive with this person. If they can not wait there is the door.


Yeah you want to wait while the man pays for every thing. because you want 'A man that is generous'.
 ArticLife
Joined: 2/25/2010
Msg: 87
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History
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 6/16/2012 2:27:53 AM
Most guys will be put off, but it's best to be direct or else you're wasting both your own time and his.
 BowHunter216
Joined: 1/16/2011
Msg: 91
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Waiting on Sex
Posted: 6/16/2012 12:23:08 PM
Relationships are all about communications - so if the topic of sex comes up , don't run from it, but discuss your preferences up front and be honest. The guy can either accept your preference or go in another direction. His loss, not yours. Bow Hunter
 Mr_Nonchalance
Joined: 6/21/2011
Msg: 93
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Waiting on Sex
Posted: 6/17/2012 3:57:49 PM
men dont wait for sex because he cares for a women,they wait for sex because they cant get it anywhere else and desperate or they lie about waiting and screw around til the women comes around.if a women says she wants to wait cuz other guys screw her and left all that says is the sex was not good enough for the man to stay around.if a women is good in bed your going to want to come back for more,some may cheat but they will still come back.
 BlokeInSydney
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 95
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 6/18/2012 4:55:05 AM

Personally, i abstain because of I don't want to compromise my relation with Jesus Christ! After all He instructs of for our own protection.

So, there will always be three in any relationship you choose to have, and man you pick with no doubt come a poor second to Jesus?


What do you want? Sex or someone to make love with?

Both have merit I think. Someone you make love to comes along very rarely, someone you feel comfortable having sex with much more often than that. I'm happy with either situation, you just have to appreciate each one in context.


I found out the hard way and now realize no man is worth a Shallow sexual relationship!

Which is your right. Again I feel it depends upon your mindset.

The conditions you require in order for you to feel comfortable sleeping with a man I'm sure would be entirely different to most of the women I know in my life.

And I thank goodness for that!
 salty_blumist
Joined: 11/26/2012
Msg: 99
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History
Waiting on Sex
Posted: 12/5/2012 10:06:23 PM
So op, you want your men with interest to lay in wait while you stand back and analyze him to pick out flaw's in his character. So therefore you can supposedly make a better informed decision as to wether or not you should have sex with him, or to decide if he deserves to have sex with you. I regret having waited to have sex before. In fact, in past situations like that for me, I had to ask myself afterwards...was that worth waiting for? Yeah, the sex was borring! Mind you, I've also raunched some women fast where the sex was borring also. Nahhh, sex is too much fun to have to wait on! And if anyone can't appreciate sex that much, then there best dumped for someone else who does realize this.
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