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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Looking for particular etnicities in blue box      Home login  
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 1
Looking for particular etnicities in blue boxPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
So I was completely bored and decided to search Interracial threads. I found a common complaint being not being able to tell who likes what ethnicity. There is a lot of wasted time reading ones profile and writing a message just to find out that one doesn't give thought to dating said writers ethnicity. I am sure the brilliant minds that put POF together and was able to put cat/dog in the blue area of the profile have thought about this. I am wondering for what reason could they not have a "iso hispanic" in the general details area. I think that would make majority of the composers happy and even give certain receivers more mail.

And of course if one had more back bone, one could insert this information into their own profile. Now I am wondering why majority of them don't. Anywho....
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 2
Looking for particular etnicities in blue box
Posted: 3/12/2012 1:12:20 PM
Because it's discrimination dude...

Edit>>> I'm killing myself laughing here could you even ask this?

I suppose I am killing myself laughing also because I don't see any difference between this and telling viewer what body size you are. Is that discrimination also? Maybe reread the topic.

If I had control over the html here, the blue box would have the current details and preferred ethnicity. So who is being discriminated here? It it's just tacit, does that mean it's not discrimination? I don't get the logic here.

I completely agree that we should be past this however we aren't. I mean more power to the people that aren't. It's their right to be with who and whatever they like. If they don't want to grow out of it then they should grow up and stand by their preferences.

Anyway, I was just trying to get pulse to if this was ever discussed or was this feature present at some point and they got rid of it.
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 3
Looking for particular etnicities in blue box
Posted: 3/12/2012 1:36:29 PM
I really don't think you understand what I am asking. It's obvious because I wouldn't be on a date with a caucasian woman if I wanted to be on a date with a latina. I am simply stating that in the blue box have preferred ethnicity. This way I don't read one's profile and craft a nicely written message to someone that has no interest in dating someone of a different ethnicity. This thread isn't for deep thinking. Really transparent with no smoke and mirrors.

Also in the adv search you can search by ethnicity. So behind the scenes discriminating is okay?
Joined: 1/24/2012
Msg: 4
Looking for particular etnicities in blue box
Posted: 3/12/2012 1:58:15 PM
I agree with you OP, I would like to be able to let all the men of my preferred ethnicity find me! That's not to say that I have any ethnicity of men that I WON'T date, I just know that I really tend to get along well with certain cultural/ethnic groups, and I'm genuinely interested in these cultures so I tend to be drawn to them. (Arab and Desi especially). I'd also like to be able to search by bodytype preference so that with men for whom fat is a dealbreaker, I wouldn't be wasting my time or his!

Also, How is the OP wanting to avoid messaging women who "don't date black men" racist?
He doesn't want to waste his time with women who aren't attracted to him so he can focus his time on all the ladies on here who would LOVE to get a message from someone of an attractive black man? We already specify our ethnicity so that we can search for what appeals to us, all he's saying is that he'd like the option to search for women who WANT what he has to offer! It would just make this whole process much more efficient!

Also, we can ALREADY search by ethnicity.. the op is just saying he wants to be able to search for women who are SEEKING his ethnicity.
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 5
Looking for particular etnicities in blue box
Posted: 3/12/2012 2:46:15 PM

Have you considered the 'hate mail' you could possibly receive if you stated a preferred race/ethnicity?
Have you considered the plausibility of hate crimes being perpetrated upon those seeking particular ethnicities?

This has taken a comedic turn. I'll be the first to admit that I've lost some faith in humanity, however I don't think hate crimes will increase because POF decided to let viewers know what type of individual a client desires. I would hope we are mature enough to be able to respect ones right regardless of how we feel about them.

If what you say is true about liability, then that affirms my thoughts of me living in an overly emotional world. As SerendiptyHappens said, I am just looking for some convenience. Lovely post btw SH.
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 6
Looking for particular etnicities in blue box
Posted: 3/12/2012 2:55:03 PM

So whats your plan if a woman is mixed race?

before answer you question please elaborate.

Not everyone sees race as you do either.

Let me begin with this wasn't designed to become a race issue because well no one want's to talk about that because the world is perfect. as you said not everyone sees race. True state, yet the opposite of that is true also.

You say it's time to put this mindset away. Unfortunately I can't because the issue is not at rest.

I don't know who you are or anything about you, but just because you don't see something does not mean it doesn't exist. People have their preference and more power to them. I just wish not to waste my time with someone that doesn't prefer me.
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 7
Looking for particular etnicities in blue box
Posted: 3/12/2012 3:22:06 PM
More power to them???? Kudos to the racists of the world?

I am not saying that, I am saying it's their right to feel how they feel and I don't want to be any part of it.

If I came off desperate, I truly didn't intend to. It was just a thought and the idea seemed plausible and convenient. I believe others would also appreciate it.

On a side note I don't message anymore through the dating site. I truly find online dating a bad joke. I actually just trying to get into a conversation or two here in the forums.

My heart goes out to you and all the women that receive "hate mail" for whatever the reason is. Definitely sounds like a traumatic experience. There is nothing in my life that I could relate to what you and your fellow sisters are going through. I thought the Katrina victims had it bad. I hope you all recover from such events if they happen again in the future.
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 8
Looking for particular etnicities in blue box
Posted: 3/12/2012 3:47:39 PM
LOL, I'm not saying segregate everyone. I am just saying next to their weight or whatever it is, to put their preferred ethnicity. I am not condoning racism. I myself can't stop one from disliking someone of a different race. I don't concern myself with their affairs. Nor do I care. Their business. My goal is not to find a woman that want's me for my skin color, it's to avoid wasting my time with people who won't find me desirable because of my skin color. I personal don't see race but people do and I am not naive to believe otherwise.
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 9
Looking for particular etnicities in blue box
Posted: 3/12/2012 4:48:39 PM

If someone e mails me I don't want to speak with I just don't respond.
Why offend anyone when its not necessary?

I suppose you are enforcing my point. It seems you are thinking about yourself and not the overall picture of the ones emailing you. Just because you don't have to deal with it doesn't mean it's not needed or should I say in my cased desired. This website isn't needed but it exist because it is desired. If you run through the interracial dating thread you would see that it would be helpful feature.

And about you saying not offending someone with more exclusions. It's really rude to not speak to someone when they speak to you. No one likes to wonder why this or that happen. I am a 32 yr old man. I can handle the truth. At the end of the day, it's their lost not mine.

Some how this has veered off the road I imagined it to be headed. I suppose I didn't see the suggestion/help forums.

Skin is has definitely lost most of its depth over the decades. It's to the point that I really can't say much w/o the risk of offending anyone and everyone. I had to make sure I brought this to the table correctly to not be virtually beheaded.
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 10
Looking for particular etnicities in blue box
Posted: 3/13/2012 4:07:31 AM

You hit the nail on the head again. My inability to handle rejection is exactly what it is. I haven't a clue as to what you are talking especially when in regards to having and additional bit of detail in the blue box. Whatever you are trying to say I will give you a big ole
Joined: 1/24/2012
Msg: 11
Looking for particular etnicities in blue box
Posted: 3/13/2012 12:18:47 PM

Seems you can't handle rejection to me unless its delivered YOUR WAY.
You want a reason because you feel you are OWED something when you are not and you want to blame race.

I didn't read it like that at ALL.. My understanding is that he just wanted a way to omit women from his search who not seeking someone of his ethnicity. No doubt this comes from him emailing many women and having them say something like "you seem nice but I'm not into black guys" If a woman could VOLUNTARILY put in a field that they are seeking a certain ethnicity IF IT WAS SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO THEM, then he could do a search based on what the woman was seeking. It's simply a way for him to make better use of his time by not having to waste a bunch of time on women who already know they're not attracted his ethnicity. I feel the exact same way about my bodytype. I'd love to just be able to search for men who I know are open to dating my body type (FAT) .
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 12
view profile
Looking for particular etnicities in blue box
Posted: 3/13/2012 2:11:52 PM
I prefer that someone just state it in their profile. My feelings aren't hurt if someone doesn't want to date a fat person, but it's nice to know so that I don't waste my time contacting them. People have no problem stating no smokers or such, and while I think being PC is a sign of intelligence & empathy, that doesn't mean one can't say they don't date white people and not be in okay with it. There's PC and then there's PC.
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 13
Looking for particular etnicities in blue box
Posted: 2/25/2013 11:45:20 PM
If you were to read just about any of those who think that an "ethnicity" box to check is a bad idea, they ALL eventually cite the same thing........ and that is a FEAR of legal repercussions.....................

What does that tell you? --- Paul K

I notice it's the younger people of today - those brainwashed by the Elite and the powers-that-be, those fresh out of the state-controlled education factories - who are calling everyone racists, even those who prefer to date and marry within their own ethnic group. So be it.

I, for one, am Caucasian and I date only Caucasians. I don't care who says what or what threats I get or what names I am called or which Internet stranger on the other side of the world 'disapproves' of my personal choices; it's my life, and if people don't approve of who I marry or whatever, then they can go and jump in the nearest lake.

Let me quote Rudyard Kipling's excellent poem called The Stranger. It will give you some idea of how I think and, I suspect, the way hundreds of millions of other people think:

The Stranger

The Stranger within my gate,
He may be true or kind,
But he does not talk my talk --
I cannot feel his mind.

I see the face and the eyes and the mouth,
But not the soul behind.

The men of my own stock
They may do ill or well,
But they tell the lies I am wonted to.

They are used to the lies I tell,
And we do not need interpreters
When we go to buy and sell.

The Stranger within my gates,
He may be evil or good,
But I cannot tell what powers control
What reasons sway his mood;
Nor when the Gods of his far-off land
Shall repossess his blood.

The men of my own stock,
Bitter bad they may be,
But, at least, they hear the things I hear,
And see the things I see;
And whatever I think of them and their likes
They think of the likes of me.

This was my father's belief
And this is also mine:
Let the corn be all one sheaf --
And the grapes be all one vine,
Ere our children's teeth are set on edge
By bitter bread and wine.

It seems anyone who wants to associate with his own race is - wait for it, wait for that engineered word cranked out with other control mechanisms, like ageism, sexism, etc, by the Elite at the expense of everyone else - a racist. Funny how my parents and their parents never heard of the word (it didn't exist, of course) and yet they were much happier than today's world, with all its woebegotten ills and seriously messed-up society.

On the subject of race and colour, does anyone here know that there were thousands of black slave-owners in American's South? Is that fact known to you? It's not something you will hear in the state-controlled education factories. Here is an article on Wikileaks:

The first slave owner in American history was black

Anthony Johnson came to the American colonies in August, 1619 as an indentured servant. In 1623 Johnson had completed his indenture and was recognized as a free negro. In 1651 he acquired 250 acres of land in Virginia, later adding another 250 acres; a sizable holding at the time.

John Casor, a black indentured servant employed by Johnson, became America's first slave after a legal dispute with Robert Parker. Parker was a white colonist who employed Casor while Casor was still indentured to Johnson. Johnson sued Parker in Northampton Court in 1654. The court upheld Johnson's right to hold Casor as a slave on March 8, 1655. The court found:

The court seriously consideringe and maturely weighing the premisses, doe fynde that the saide Mr Robert Parker most unjustly keepeth the said Negro from Anthony Johnson his master ... It is therefore the Judgement of the Court and ordered That the said John Casor Negro forthwith returne unto the service of the said master Anthony Johnson, And that Mr. Robert Parker make payment of all charges in the suit.

Five years later, in 1670, the colonial assembly passed legislation permitting blacks and Indians the right to own slaves of their own race.

* Free blacks commonly owned black slaves in the antebellum South.

* There were thousands of black slave owners in the South.

"In 1830 there were 3,775 such slaveholders in the South who owned 12,740 black slaves, with 80% of them located in Louisiana, South Carolina, Virginia, and Maryland. There were economic differences between free blacks of the Upper South and Deep South, with the latter fewer in number, but wealthier and typically of mixed race. Half of the black slaveholders lived in cities rather than the countryside, with most in New Orleans and Charleston."

* Historians John Hope Franklin and Loren Schweninger wrote:

"A large majority of profit-oriented free black slaveholders resided in the Lower South. For the most part, they were persons of mixed racial origin, often women who cohabited or were mistresses of white men, or mulatto men ... . Provided land and slaves by whites, they owned farms and plantations, worked their hands in the rice, cotton, and sugar fields, and like their white contemporaries were troubled with runaways."

Historian Ira Berlin wrote:

"In slave societies, nearly everyone – free and slave – aspired to enter the slaveholding class, and upon occasion some former slaves rose into slaveholders’ ranks. Their acceptance was grudging, as they carried the stigma of bondage in their lineage and, in the case of American slavery, color in their skin."

To write extensively about blacks who owned slaves in the antebellum South would require a library of full volumes. Black slaveowners: free Black slave masters in South Carolina, 1790-1860 By Larry Koger is one such volume.

Koger tells of Richard Holloway, Sr, a black carpenter who purchased his African cousins as slave labor. Cato was the name of one of his slaves. Cato remained in Holloway's possession throughout the 1830s and '40s, according to Koger, until he was sold to his son, Richard Holloway, Jr., in 1845. Cato died in 1851 and the younger Holloway replaced him with the purchase of a 16-year-old black male.

* Blacks owning black slaves was even common in the pre-war North.

* Nor was black-on-black slavery unique to Southern states.

Koger informs us that in 1830 New York City recorded eight black slave holders who owned a total of 17 black slaves. The total number of slaves owned by blacks in 1830 was more than 10,000 according to the federal census of 1830; and that includes only four states: Louisiana, Maryland, South Carolina and Virginia. In addition there were "black master in every state where slavery existed," Koger says.

* Without black African slave owners there would have been no slavery in America.

Henry Louis Gates of the White House 'Beer Summit' fame enraged his base in 2010 by strongly opposing repartions to blacks. According to Gates the slave trade was almost wholly the result of black slave owners selling their human wares to Europeans.

He wrote:

"While we are all familiar with the role played by the United States and the European colonial powers like Britain, France, Holland, Portugal and Spain, there is very little discussion of the role Africans themselves played. And that role, it turns out, was a considerable one, especially for the slave-trading kingdoms of western and central Africa. These included the Akan of the kingdom of Asante in what is now Ghana, the Fon of Dahomey (now Benin), the Mbundu of Ndongo in modern Angola and the Kongo of today’s Congo, among several others."

"The historians John Thornton and Linda Heywood of Boston University estimate that 90 percent of those shipped to the New World were enslaved by Africans and then sold to European traders. The sad truth is that without complex business partnerships between African elites and European traders and commercial agents, the slave trade to the New World would have been impossible, at least on the scale it occurred." [Emphasis added]

The notion of White European raiding parties descending on unsuspecting African villages is a gross distortion of reality. Not only does the historical record argue against White raiding parties, but such parties would have been costly and inefficient compared to purchasing Africans already held in slavery. White slave traders would not endure the risk related to such incursions. Furthermore, Africans already held as slaves would be less willing to resist, particularly among those whose African owners were brutal enemies.

[Source: Ending the Slavery Blame-Game, Henry Louis Gates, The New York Times April 22, 2010]

* Beating black slaves in the South was extremely uncommon.

In 1838 Harriet Martineau visited New Orleans where she heard tales of a particularly abusive slave owner. At issue was slave owner Delphine LaLaurie who resided in a mansion at 1140 Royal Street. "Martineau reported that public rumors about LaLaurie's mistreatment of her slaves were sufficiently widespread that a local lawyer was dispatched to Royal Street to remind LaLaurie of the laws relevant to the upkeep of slaves." The attorney found no evidence of wrong doing.

Nonetheless, LaLaurie was forced to forfeit nine slaves after a subsequent investigation found her guilty of slave abuse.

It was later rumored that one of LaLaurie slaves intentionally set fire to the mansion to draw attention to ongoing abuse. Bystanders forced entry to squelch the fire and discovered "seven slaves, more or less horribly mutilated ... suspended by the neck, with their limbs apparently stretched and torn from one extremity to the other."

Tale of the abuse quickly spread throughout New Orleans. An angry mob of White residents descended on the mansion and "demolished and destroyed everything upon which they could lay their hands."

LaLaurie fled the mob violence, escaping to Mobile, Alabama and then to Paris.

What we learn from the historical LaLaurie episode is that:

1. Laws protecting slaves from abuse were enforced.
2. White residents did not tolerate owners who abused their slaves.#

Lastly, I hear a lot of talk about Barack Hussein Obama and how people are "colour blind." I truly believe this is fantasy, the kind of thing today's education factories teach, the clever PC-speak. I wonder how many people who voted for this unknown did not vote for him on the basis of his colour?



Best wishes
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 14
Looking for particular etnicities in blue box
Posted: 2/26/2013 2:26:58 AM
I don't get what you are asking. In the 'search' box, you CAN put whether you are searching white, asian, black, etc, or if you just want those who have pics.

And you can more or less surmise what a person is looking for from their profile without them exacting a specific race or ethnic requirement. At least I can. I read some men's profiles and think 'looking for a white girl' and then bypass. When they start talking stuff about long hair, blond/brunette, 'hottie', using the term 'girls', and using numbers to describe women and that... I don't come from that circle of people that describes folks that way, it's usually white people looking for white people (or black people/POC who been around a lot of white people looking for more white people).

And yeah, you can put in profile that you're looking for a specific race or ethnicity, but that might make you suspect to some people, particularly if you're specifying a race or ethnicity that isn't your own. But hey, go for it. At least that way only those who are what you specify will contact you and won't get a lotta messages that don't fit.
Joined: 7/26/2007
Msg: 15
Looking for particular etnicities in blue box
Posted: 2/26/2013 3:32:15 PM
I'd be fine with people expressing what race they're looking for so long as I can select any. I suspect most people would select that.
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