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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Getting hit on by married men      Home login  
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 Helloitsmeyourlookingfor
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 59
Getting hit on by married menPage 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

You mean men from Plenty of Fibbers? lol! I have not struck the married men yet but lied in other ways, yes.


LOL let me count the ways women have been dishonest.

Face pic only = Fat
Average = Average plus 20 lbs
Non materialistic = broke and looking for a sugar daddy (or at least for me to give them a free ride on the date)
Smoke Occasionally = a pack a day or more.
I like to work out regularly = I get to the gym every January 1st and give up two weeks later.
Pictures = 3-20 years old (Really... I care what you looked like as a highschool cheerleader and your 50 lbs overweight today??
Laid Back - friggen lazy
Must like kids = dad is nowhere to be found and my kids need a surrogate.
My Family comes first = I am 40 something and had to move back in with mom and dad because the alimony got cut off.
"players need not apply" = I will spread them like butter on the first date if you are nice to me.
No Drama = I got enough of my own to give us our own drama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 60
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/27/2012 1:39:27 PM
If a married man flirts/makes a pass at me, and I know his wife? I ask him if his wife would appreciate the way he is acting...and if he would behave the same way if she were sitting with us. That usually stops them dead in thier tracks. If this is not enough to stop him from doing it, I pull away from them both and when the wife asks me why I dont 'come around no more' I tell her that her hubby creeps me out. This is usually the end of any friendship.

Oh well. Who needs that.


If I dont know his wife, I make it pretty clear that Im not impressed. Ill say things like 'geeze, I hope when I was married that my hsband was not acting like you when I wasnt around'...again...they get the hint. If they dont get the hint, Ill tell them-'if you wanna act like a turd, go lay in the backyard and be useful at least'...they back off when they see Im serious about not playing thier game.

I can take a joke, and I can tell the difference between harmless kidding/flirting...and the ones who want you to meet them for nooky. House keys, hotel room keys being tossed into my lap, emails with thier address to meet them at...that is not joking around. Telling me with a twinkle in his eye and a smile that Id be in trouble if he were still single is fine and appreciated.
 Helloitsmeyourlookingfor
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 61
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/28/2012 10:03:26 AM

some married men on here looking for a cheap thrill but there are also some married women on here doing the same


I forgot to mention the best line I have seen from the married women.... 1st quality they are looking for in their "discreet lover"..... Honesty!!!!???
Huh?
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 62
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Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/28/2012 8:43:36 PM

Sure we lie about our ages and all sorts of things. I am sure you can never say that you have never ever told a lie. So get off your soapbox.

I'm amazed how non-chalantly some posters dress up their lies. And no, not everybody needs to lie about their age.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 63
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/29/2012 10:04:46 AM
When I'm on my soapbox I doesn't really care if someone lies about their age by a year or two or even lies on height about an inch or two. What makes me jump on my soapbox is when someone constantly bashes men for lying about their age and their height turns around and does the same damn thing - 12 friggin years you lied about on your age. You can't have it both ways - they can't lie but you can....wtf.

So please refrain from bashing men about their lies. Please stop your little rant that "all men are cruisers, losers and users". You yourself can't seem to walk the walk or talk the talk. What you constantly say is disrespectful to men and it doesn't matter if they're married or not.

Casually stepping off my soapbox now...




Seriously...why is lying by a year or two or about an inch or two OK?

2nd guy I ever met off a dating site had lied about his height said he was 5'8 --Im 5'8~he came up to my nose! When I told my kids they both said..gosh what a loser why lie about 2 inches! Seriously I am with the kids...if you are going to lie at least make it a whopper!

But thanks for being the self-appointed forum police and catching those who tell whoppers!

My take on life is trust is so hard to get and so easy to loose why lie at all..it isnt like they wont see the height, age or weight at some point if it turns into a relationship.

Granted the one person's constant bashing of men has gotten tiresome but then look at all the attention she gets from it...leaves no doubt as to why she does it!
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 64
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Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/29/2012 12:35:59 PM
If some of these so-called "happily married" women knew who their "devoted" husbands were hitting on and what they offering in exchange for a roll (or two or three in the hay to obviously single women, they would die of apoplexy......

You don't have to be a raving beauty who has a so-called "fat" wife for a married man to want to stray....just be what the man considers "exotic".....and here they come....
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 65
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Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/29/2012 1:28:18 PM


Ladies, do you have this problem too? It seems that most of my friend's husbands hit on me


if could maybe be wishful thinking rather than reality........ if it is reality, you really need better friends who can pick better men

some people just mistake common manners with being hit on.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 66
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/29/2012 2:36:00 PM

Seriously...why is lying by a year or two or about an inch or two OK?


Giggle's, now I know you know about the degrees of lies...a lie by omission....a white lie....all the way to a bold faced lie...embellishement while technically a lie...well it's just someone trying to alter the light a little to make themselves appear a little better...the added inch, the subtraction of 10 pounds, a year younger than actual, and so on...yet, there are bold faced lies ...whoppers....that some try to get away with....subtracting 10 yuears...posting others pictures...posting pics from 10 years ago...declaring single while married...saying straight while gay or bi...just to name a few are really red flag lies...and there's a whole litiny of others...I really think that it's up the the person hearing the lie, when they find out they've been lied to, to decide what to do about the lie.

And nope...none of my friends husbands have ever hit on me.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 67
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/29/2012 6:03:16 PM
"But thanks for being the self-appointed forum police and catching those who tell whoppers!"

I could give a shyt. What I don't like is those that constantly bash others for doing the same damn thing they are doing.

And we've all run into the guys that fudge an inch or two or three. It's not the end of the world, it might be the end of the date...but not the end of the world. I must say that one short guy totally changed my opinion about only dating a guy close to six feet. I have more of an open mind about it now. And I'm not going to state that if they lie about their height on a dating site they will lie about everything. I won't even go as far as to say they are losers, just a little esteem issue. It's like the fat folks saying they are average. Lying about marital status....don't need that.


Giggle's, now I know you know about the degrees of lies...a lie by omission....a white lie....all the way to a bold faced lie...embellishement while technically a lie...well it's just someone trying to alter the light a little to make themselves appear a little better...the added inch, the subtraction of 10 pounds, a year younger than actual, and so on...yet, there are bold faced lies ...whoppers....that some try to get away with....subtracting 10 yuears...posting others pictures...posting pics from 10 years ago...declaring single while married...saying straight while gay or bi...just to name a few are really red flag lies...and there's a whole litiny of others...I really think that it's up the the person hearing the lie, when they find out they've been lied to, to decide what to do about the lie.

And nope...none of my friends husbands have ever hit on me.


You can sugar coat a lie anyway you want; to some people they are ok and to others they show a character flaw. Trust is important to some people and if someone starts off lying there isnt many good places to go.

I didnt disagree with you that certain people who CONSTANTLY bash others are doing so for attention...it works..

I just think after someone is over 45 they should pretty much accept what they are...why lie about it; when you meet the truth is going to come out.

One of the greatest loves of my life was 5'4" but omg he was built like a greek god! See I dont think age, height, weight or any of that is really important UNLESS it is important enough for the guy to want to lie about it.

As far as a married man hitting on someone; if it is a pattern then you have to wonder what part you are playing in it. If it is just random guys then I wouldnt be concerned.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 68
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/29/2012 6:15:50 PM
there are insincere phony liars of BOTH GENDERS, regardless of their marital status
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 69
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/29/2012 6:27:27 PM

You can sugar coat a lie anyway you want; to some people they are ok and to others they show a character flaw. Trust is important to some people and if someone starts off lying there isnt many good places to go.


Geeze, I'd think someone who's been around the block wouldn't see everything in black and white...but, then I know I haven't seen nor hear everything...yep..a lie is lie is a lie...I list myself at 6'0"...but, I'm really 5'11 1/2"...so call me a liar and challange my integrity...and you'll have won no friend
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 70
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/29/2012 8:31:58 PM
^^ lol rounding up to 6 is different ...especially if a person feels that height might be an issue...my point is I have dated men as short as 5'4"...no problem...

It is more the fact that at this age someone feels inadequate enough about themselves to lie. If we cant accept who we are at this age...then when can we?

I met a man the other day and it was so obvious he had lied on his age...and had Photoshopped his pics...so I listen to everything he had to say but in the back of my mind when he was telling me he had 7 different properties in this county and 5 in the next one over ...was BS...see how when you lie to someone to start with you just loose credibility. I wanted to believe him but in the back of my mind from the moment we met I was thinking...what else has he mislead me on.

Aren't married men who hit on single girls in their own way condoning what they are doing ...mostly by lying to themselves that it is ok?
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 71
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/29/2012 8:38:55 PM
My point was that a little embellishment wasn't a big red flag issue...but, married men/women hitting on others...not polite flirting...but, hitting on others is a fvckin NO NO....in fact, let's break that down...a person in a committed relationship hitting on another proves they're a first class shyte.

Back to embellishment's...it's not the 10 yo photo shop pic...the single but really married...the 6' guy who's really 5' nuthin....the atheletic who's 60 #'s overweight...it's the simple stuff...technically, it's lying...yet, I'd like to call it embellioshment...the alter of the light to make ones wrinkle's dissapear..if only for a moment.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 72
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/29/2012 9:57:34 PM

Back to embellishment's...it's not the 10 yo photo shop pic...the single but really married...the 6' guy who's really 5' nuthin....the atheletic who's 60 #'s overweight...it's the simple stuff...technically, it's lying...yet, I'd like to call it embellioshment...the alter of the light to make ones wrinkle's dissapear..if only for a moment.


Dont you feel it is a big clue that that person is unhappy with who they are to the point where they feel they need to mislead someone else?

Do you tell lies about things you are happy about?

Or just the ones you feel others might not accept---yet others are accepting of it so isnt it in the end that the person isn't accepting of themselves?
 LuvFishes
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 73
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/30/2012 2:24:42 AM
Great questions- first some males will try to flirt wheither married or not. But YOU control the situation & can nip it in the bud. Flirting takes TWO. As for the inappropriate touching again YOU control it.

Ultimately, it's about respect and your friends husbands are showing you none. Are you coming off as needy sexual or otherwise , overly flirtatious? Mistaking playful, innocent banter? If your not careful you will loose your girlfriends because they will blame you more than their husbands. Good luck, Lanezee
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 74
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/30/2012 4:48:28 AM

Do you tell lies about things you are happy about?


Yep, told a whopper the other day...I'm getting a tax return back, but told the other person I wasn't....not that it was anybodies business but my own.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 75
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Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/30/2012 5:09:13 AM
damsel

Sure I put a younger age on the profile so what??? but I dont meet anyone from here

So why are you lying? Just to practice?
 Helloitsmeyourlookingfor
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 76
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/30/2012 7:45:52 AM

And we've all run into the guys that fudge an inch or two or three. It's not the end of the world,


I guess that depends what part of the body that missing three inches is from!!!

Poor B@stard!!!!!
 CptIronJack
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 77
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 3/30/2012 3:18:00 PM
wow was this a bad idea
 1studmufin
Joined: 2/17/2012
Msg: 78
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 4/3/2012 7:28:32 AM
So what is big deal if you are looking for NSA FWB. what does it matter who it is with . It is so old fashion. Last time I looked we were in 21st centaury. We are so badly brainwashed by these ultra right narrow minded religious fundamentalists christens that we end up depriving ourselves of many pleasures that surround us.
 kataqueen
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 79
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 4/4/2012 8:56:52 PM
don't understand why you even bother spending time discussing this. They are married, tell them off, end of!
 Dili_gent
Joined: 1/8/2011
Msg: 80
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Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 4/6/2012 9:34:23 PM
These guys are wrong, but you are not much of a friend if you don't scream bloody murder to the spouse about a louse.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 81
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 5/3/2012 8:24:09 PM
I've met an awful lot of married men on pof. It makes me think that they should change the name to "Plenty of Married Men." It's really very sad, and I agree, I do feel sorry for the wives.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 82
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 5/3/2012 8:32:59 PM
1ststudmuffin,

First of all, yeah, it is a big deal. If someone is married, then they shouldn't be lying to people about it and misrepresenting themselves in the dating world. This is how people get really really hurt. Also, keep in mind that no one likes to be the cuckold, either. If you are hooking up with someone elses spouse you are just asking for major trouble. The hurt, pain, and devastation that cheating causes to families and relationships isn't worth it in the long run. As a matter of fact, cheating and sexual compulsivity are anti social behavior traits.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 83
Getting hit on by married men
Posted: 5/6/2012 4:09:54 PM

Ive spoken with loads of guys who feel that they could never be suggestive to their wives to be a bit daring or whatever and so they look on web sites and bars etc.

And that's the OTHER group on PoF-the broke-ass 45+ married cheater who got his ass divorced and is now wandering around with his suitcase in 1 hand, his poor starving d*ck in the other and his bare face hanging out a mile long because he's so sad.
There's a "get real "for ya, Sunshine.

Yes-lots of married people use the internet and bars and wherever because they think the Universe owes them a parade with a brass band and a 3 ring circus in the bedroom every night of their lives. Guess what? A lot of what marriage is about is just plain old daily life...and keeping a "spark" takes a bit of effort and caring. Like I said, if your marital sex is boring or nearly non-existent, then you either need to fix it or live with it. Yeah, you MIGHT get away with little interludes with somebody you hooked up with via a dating site or a bar in the next town-whatever!-but if you get caught,you get an infestation, or your lover(or a nosy acquaintance) gets a wild hair and decides to contact your spouse and rat you out... yah well,enjoy the drama.
At least you won't be bored.
Cindy O
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