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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING      Home login  
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 acsmith72
Joined: 12/3/2011
Msg: 101
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATINGPage 5 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Yeah, I'll peek at the Facebook thing if it's not set to private, but that's pretty much it. I don't really have anything good to show in the PAST record-wise, so I would just nip it in the bud and tell that particular girl that obviously we aren't a good fit.

They say the present is a gift, so people should try living in it more. And I'm getting the vibe from the girls on here that want records that they wouldn't be willing to share their own, or would be offended if a guy thought of some record they didn't. Like maybe they want copies of your high school transcripts to make sure you didn't wast time in high school. I did, lol. One big party that was, but you see my point? Records don't tell a single thing about who a person is. They tell about what a person did.

Look, going by records, Germany is a terrible country for killing all those Jews, right? America is even worse for killing all those Native Americans, Mexicans, Spanish, French, Blacks, and anyone else they could. On paper our country looks like crap. But that's not how either country is today. That's the past. If you want to date based on someone's past, put it in your profile that you require background checks to go on the ride, and that you do judge people. They won't even bother with you. Eventually you will find a fellow neurotic and live happily ever after. Unless they turn out to be psycho without a record.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 102
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 4/21/2012 9:43:51 AM
PLUS, if I give you that information,

Unless your username is a fiction, you already have given someone a lot of the information she would need, if not all of it, if she can make a few educated guesses. If you're going to worry about someone invading your privacy, you ought to do something to make your privacy difficult to invade.

Theres only one reason why you guys wouldnt want a back ground check,.and its soo obvious,.your either fakes,.losers or both.

I'd venture to say that the majority of people who end up in real relationships didn't do background checks on each other. I'd consider such a request the product of paranoid thinking and be happy the person passed on me, so it works both ways.

It's not as if you can't check up on them a little, say looking at their facebook page, for example, but if you expect complete access to their entire paper trail... you'll be alone a long long time.

Most people, especially those who use facebook, have broadcast enough personal information to the world that anyone could get their life histories with very little effort and no one would even know.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 103
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 4/21/2012 11:23:19 AM

Theres only one reason why you guys wouldnt want a back ground check,.and its soo obvious,.your either fakes,.losers or both.


I'm still in awe with this post. For real? That because a man wouldn't want to give his personal information to a complete stranger he's a fake? And yes you are a complete stranger. If you cannot trust him how can you expect him to trust you? In fact these demands would send mega red flags for me.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 104
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 4/21/2012 7:00:31 PM

I guess the complete invasion of privacy is fine though?


I never said it was alright to do that...I did say that if a woman cannot trust a man, how do you expect him to trust you. Not all women are made of sugar and spice, never do anything illegal...con artist ring a bell...


It's not as if you can't check up on them a little, say looking at their facebook page, for example, but if you expect complete access to their entire paper trail... you'll be alone a long long time.


Facebook no biggie, heck I'll give everyone the link right now I could care less. I don't have my Social Security Number and only close friends can access my phone number and address. But FB isn't a background check. Background check requires SS#, phone number, copy of license, etc. Results of a background check typically include past employment verification, credit score, and criminal history. I'm not giving my credit score to anyone that doesn't even know me. All this is personal information...and like I said before a background check only helps if the person was actually caught and/or prosecuted. Also if the person has a juvenile record its been taken off too.


Hang on a second,.this is getting a bit silly,.i never said id be interested in knowing his bloody bank details,credit rating,ect,.what moron would ask things like that??Now i agree that is paranoid,.i mean,.checks on his identity,.work,.is he really single,.my god,.are you people from the US by any chance??


Credit rating is a part of a background check...and if you have a SS# you can access their bank account too...generally.

And yes a background check IMO is overly paranoid hence why I said a mega red flag. If someone is that paranoid about every guy the meet then I don't think they should be on the dating scene.

And yes I'm from the USA...
 cajuncooker
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 105
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 4/21/2012 7:31:12 PM
In todays society I dont blame MEN AND WOMEN for running background checks. But what is the reason. I dated a girl who was raped and she wanted to make sure I had no sex crimes on my record. I also dated a girl who her last boyfriend she found out was a pedophile and she wanted a background check for the same thing. (IE good parenting and smart decisions I applaude them). I dated a girl whose dad was a state trooper and it was part of the daddy requirement for his daughter I dont have a problem with that either.
But then there has been the flip side: one woman said she would not date me because my credit score was way too low. One said because you are clean we want you to do bad things for us ( i wont elaberate).
One wanted to do it because she could.
the point is I think in todays soceity it is a very good thing. YOu can find out if they are physco, have a violent background are looking for sugatdaddies or are gold diggers.
Its just sad though we have to go through those lengths in society today.
Says something about our criminal justice system.
 prometheus76
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 106
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 4/21/2012 7:59:33 PM

(Excuse me miss,i will have you know that i was married for 27yrs,.and am never alone for long,.if i want back ground checks from someone ive met on the internet,.then thats my business.Each to there own,..


I am imagining the line of dudes waiting outside your door with their paperwork filed in triplicate and in iambic pentameter.
 excessivemayhem
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 107
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 4/24/2012 12:24:15 PM
i would think it would be done in quintiplicate and in haiku instead....
 kire122881
Joined: 1/5/2011
Msg: 108
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 4/24/2012 2:59:39 PM
I'd have nothing to do with paranoid women like this, seriously.

A background check??? What is this, a job interview? A rental application?
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 109
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 4/24/2012 5:58:18 PM
"What she really needs is to live in New York City"

Having lived there most of my life, I could agree, except that some subscribe to the belief that it is soddam and gomora! You can ONLY experience NYC, if you are open to it, and it's vast cultural experience! I have known too many who still lived in fear and never got to know what it had to offer!

Getting to understand another has little to do with credit checks, background reports, and who they were. It is more about who they are. There are few, even among women, who haven't made a mistake or 2, in their lives.

The point is, starting from a place of doubt, will never be a good relationship. To start with a need to examine who someone was, before understanding who they are, will not give you a good basis for a relationship.

Meet first, you may not even like them enough to date. Then decide slowly if you see more.

I don't say this lightly, but be cautious. There are those who would take advantage, they reside in both genders.

If you must be "that person", perhaps online meeting is not for you. Total strangers can be daunting, if you are scared or weak. For most of us, we see others as posibilities, not probilities in terms of failures.
 acsmith72
Joined: 12/3/2011
Msg: 110
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 4/25/2012 9:59:29 AM

(Hang on a second,.this is getting a bit silly,.i never said id be interested in knowing his bloody bank details,credit rating,ect,.what moron would ask things like that??Now i agree that is paranoid,.i mean,.checks on his identity,.work,.is he really single,.my god,.are you people from the US by any chance??


Why is it silly? You want identity checks, marriage checks, work checks, why would it be paranoid for someone else to want your credit check, std check, high school and college transcripts, etc? You don't get to draw the line on crazy. Crazy is just crazy. There's no more crazy. It's all stupid. If you have trust issues like that with people, then you should seek help for that.
 RMon345
Joined: 4/12/2012
Msg: 111
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 4/25/2012 11:31:25 AM
Riight on man, Thats too much for just meeting someone for the first time.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 112
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 4/27/2012 7:51:15 AM
who knows
maybe it is not such a crazy idea!
the big problem with that is, our justice system and a lot of our (can, US), is hopless, and corrupt, if you have enough money, you can get away with everything
still, not a bad idea
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 113
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 4/27/2012 1:46:36 PM
I respect someone that checks me out as long as they aren't asking for my SS number. Good lord the whackos out there.
Not just online.
Men and women..Bloody well better check someone before getting serious or traveling to far and getting into a situation.


BEFORE a date??? That's said just to see if you "rattle" easily.

Don't forget a complete blood work up before sex either.
All those broken condoms we keep hearing about on here.
 yaretzy
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 114
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 4/27/2012 6:07:51 PM

(Giving someone your full name may be too much information in an age of identity theft
Typically, they need more than just your full name-they also would need your birthdate and of course SSN or maybe DL information-the rest, they'll make up as they go along. I did retention sales for an ID prevention program, which is how I'm able to advise.
 yaretzy
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 115
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 4/27/2012 6:15:36 PM

I don't say this lightly, but be cautious. There are those who would take advantage, they reside in both genders.

If you must be "that person", perhaps online meeting is not for you. Total strangers can be daunting, if you are scared or weak. For most of us, we see others as posibilities, not probilities in terms of failures.
AMEN!!!!
 nobodyhome01
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 116
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 4/28/2012 5:43:23 AM
Full Background check as in full credit check Id say run. Criminal check I can understand where I live you can do basic checks (Find out if the persons a sex offender or served jail time) without the Social Security numbers. Then you get to some states like Florida if you know the County they live in and full name you can do full court searches and bring up all documents related to any criminal case on a person.

But as you stated she said "FULL" unless sparks were flying and you were weightless upon meeting her Id run for the hills padlock the door and find boards to hammer and secure all the doors and make sure your ammo and guns are within reach.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 117
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 4/29/2012 8:09:09 PM
"You people either dont bother to get whats been said,.or you are thick,."

No I think we hear you quite clearly...we have both post #106 and #115. Where you actually say something else entirely. Online dating is not dating IRL, where you are either introduced by a friend, co-worker or somebody...or the IRL interaction from a real life experience. It is meeting total strangers, to "see" if you would like to date.

Anybody can be anything on the net. I will be happy to admit, it can be more daunting and a little scarey for women. That does not change the fact that it can be a con game for a guy.

Until you meet, you don't know, whether you want to see them again. So to me, things should develop organically, you meet talk, see if they basically appeal enough to you to meet again. During that meeting, one would hope some minimal information would be exchanged, last name, type of work, interests, neighborhood they live in, hobbies.

By date 3, you should have enough information to make you comfortable, know them well enough to know, you wouldn't mind dating them and in fact are interested.

But as for this "atta girl" for checking them out? To me this screams insecure and untrusting. Frankly, I'd be just as happy if they mentioned that's how they see life BEFORE the third email, so I can hit the back button. Cause if it's like that on day 1, how will it be on day 46? A 3rd degree, everytime you meet a friend, or come home late from work, or don't answer your phone by the third ring.

Sorry...I'll take a pass on that hasstle every day of the week and twice on sunday!
 Pheonixmamma
Joined: 3/15/2012
Msg: 118
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 5/1/2012 1:14:08 AM
What fool would devulge their right to privacy to an absolute stranger ?
Should you ask for their security/background check, before handing over your own, and exchange information at a local police station ?

I think the proper thing to do, would be to stock up on canned, non perishable foodstuffs and seal yourself in self ventilating bunker ;)
 Pheonixmamma
Joined: 3/15/2012
Msg: 119
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 5/1/2012 7:47:19 PM
The bottom line is that there will always be an element of risk involved in meeting anyone, via cyberspace , in the grocery store, a set up, etc... What you need to do is learn how to trust your gut and call a person out if something does not jive well with you. You need answer only to your own standards...no one elses.
Do not helmet wear a helmet when you walk down the street.
 prometheus76
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 120
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 5/2/2012 6:54:30 AM

nothing wrong with a backroudn check before meeting. the net is full of sickos you probably would have never met otherwise if it wasn't for the net.


Sure, you go first. Did you assume there would be no reciprocity clause in this agreement?
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 121
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 5/2/2012 12:56:02 PM

I hear what you people are saying,.really i do,..so please hear me!,.Im so sick of people putting up fake pics,.so i always ask if we can go on cam,.thats a simple request right?,.Whats wrong with wanting to see the guy from his pics??Nothing in my book,.i just want to make damned sure im not being taken for a mug,.im no bloody fool,.bloody hell,.seems so many of you have so much to hide,.wonder why?Answers on a postcard,........


Not on here, but a older much less secure personals site in the day...I'd get a daily BOT just wanting to cam. It (idk if it was even a woman) would message on a IM and then say go to this website to get more "personal". So yeah I know what you're talking about the internet being full of fake PEOPLE (women do this as well). I'm not saying meet within 10 minutes of 1st contact with little to no contact and don't even know they are real...but a background check is the extreme in the other direction.

Someone (male or female) that would require a full background check before even thinking about meeting someone is a little over paranoid. IMO. I know one family member that hasn't even renewed her license because she thinks the DMV is going to steal/sell her identity.

Don't act like us guys don't know what you are going through because we do...idk how many times I met up with a woman who said she was a few extra pounds and then I met up with her and she's a 100 lbs heavier than the pic on her profile.

Scams effect everyone...not just women...men have to be careful with their identity as well...I think that's what most are trying to say....or at least I am
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 122
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SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 5/3/2012 5:17:01 PM
Lucky for us in USA it's easy to get all kinds of info to see if the person is who they say and in florida... you can also check mugshots dot com
and even see arrest records, which I have seen a few ladies I have seen around here on :)

A good idea to me. I only met one guy who lied about some things to hide the fact he was mega wealthy ( and family well known) the rest who misrepresented themselves had records of burglary, car theft, drugs, assault, etc...... someone like that is NOT for me.

I think they are a great thing.
 abdieos74
Joined: 10/20/2011
Msg: 123
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 5/4/2012 12:18:10 AM
haha.. whoa! If a woman has to do a "Full Background Check" on a guy, then what does that tell you about her ability to distinguish the good from the bad? I would RUN my friend. (and I'm in Law Enforcement!!)
 Pheonixmamma
Joined: 3/15/2012
Msg: 124
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 5/4/2012 5:45:48 AM
Look up the Privacy Act....or move to a country where Human Rights are not enforced........At the rate they are going, that could be the USA very soon, as it is fast become a Police State already, for the sake of "National Security".
Gimmie a break and read the Constitution.
FOIP
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 125
SHE SAID A FULL BACKGROUND CHECK IS NEEDED FOR ONLINE DATING
Posted: 5/4/2012 9:16:41 AM

Look up the Privacy Act....or move to a country where Human Rights are not enforced........At the rate they are going, that could be the USA very soon, as it is fast become a Police State already, for the sake of "National Security".
Gimmie a break and read the Constitution.


Same can be said of Canada right now. Stephen Harper looks a lot like George W Bush in his politics. I personnally dont agree with that. Boycotting journalists, enforcing the military...
Land of the Free indeed. Now I'm getting ostracized for being a smoker, and the most recent talk everywhere in Canada right now is SUGAR. They want to put surgeon general warning on sugar because sugar KILLS. Gimme a freakin break....
"Escape from LA" anyone?
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