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 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 5
Why is it so hard to have a good conversation? Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I teach at a high school and a college at times and it amazes me that if a young person isn't talking about sex, they have NO social skills. They bore me to death.

Texting mindless words constantly; not being able to hold a conversation; chatting online instead of meeting with them and talking to them; just amazes me how boring and uncommunicative young people are.

You cant' control others; just be yourself. When I'm on a date business lunch/dinner, or whatever; I pull out my phone and say,"oh; I forgot to turn this off, sorry". EVERY TIME the other person does the same.

It's pretty much saying,"i'm being polite and giving my time to you; if the other person doesn't do the same, they look stupid.

Then you genuinely talk about the person. Ask about them. It's called getting to know them.

I have traveled all over the world and it blows me away how much more mature young people are in Russia or the uk for that matter. It's like night and day. They are more educated for the most part and a lot funner.

Again; just be you; you cant' control anyone else.
 barefootjack
Joined: 9/19/2011
Msg: 9
Why is it so hard to have a good conversation?
Posted: 3/18/2012 10:56:44 PM
It's because these women are talking to way too many guys .... that's why.

Sites like these are all benefit for the women; and no benefit for the men.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 11
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Why is it so hard to have a good conversation?
Posted: 3/25/2012 8:02:59 AM
^^^ I hope when the honest one comes along you see her for what she is, and don't judge her for others that have come before her :) Peace PP
 irish_smackie
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 13
Why is it so hard to have a good conversation?
Posted: 3/25/2012 9:54:41 AM
I don't know what the problem is. Honestly, I know a lot of young women (18-22) because of the age of my children, and they are lovely, bright girls, perfectly capable of carrying on a decent conversation.

The thing I observed with my son and his friends is that most of them were only interested in the MOST popular and beautiful girls (that every other boy was interested in)... you know, the Barbie-doll types? When 90% of the males are interested in 5% of the females, you can be sure you won't have your needs met most of the time.

Also, I want to tell you that instead of complaining that women only want you for your money (usually not true, BTW), I suggest you work at making yourself more attractive in this way. Just as a young male is driven to spread his seed to as many females as he can, a young woman is (often) driven to find a mate who can be involved in the raising of a family, and that requires at least SOME money.
 irish_smackie
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 14
Why is it so hard to have a good conversation?
Posted: 3/25/2012 10:18:56 AM
Stevefrompland:

If you know for a fact that the only criteria the women you dated had for a man was that he have money, maybe you were/are choosing to date the wrong kind of women?
Even the most materialistic women I know have other requirements.
 lukecash12
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 23
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Why is it so hard to have a good conversation?
Posted: 4/5/2012 2:52:10 AM
Why, you say? Well, there's something around us, called western culture. It's basically non-distinct, it doesn't have much of a philosophical tradition any more, and it's consumer based. It used to be based upon certain religious ideals, and certain thinkers (e.g. Aristotle), but now it's a consumer based society whose sole function is to include everyone, please everyone, and sell to everyone. In our little world, we can entertain ourselves endlessly with imaginary scenarios played out on a glass tube, we can entertain the idea that we have opinions (possibly valid ones), by listening/watching political pundits and demagogues ramble all day long, all the while that we have publicly available and easily accessible sources to inform us as voters, without having to listen to these bums in suits. We have the vocabulary of children, compared to our forefathers, because of our culture.

Culture is a constricting, slow to move, self defining, maddening, sometimes enlightening, ugly and bulbous, and pervasive monster that exerts it's indifferent choke hold on people. You find what refuge you can from it, but you still know that it pervades you to some degree. Whatever identity you have, is up for questioning, because maybe some or most of what makes you yourself, isn't up to you at all, is it?

And other people are caught in the grasp of culture. Maybe we need to look hard enough, and in the right places, if we want to find good conversation. Otherwise, all I can say is tough luck, you were born in the wrong time and place to find a bunch of women that can hold a conversation. Be glad you weren't born in feudal Europe, or the stone age. They had some more pressing concerns, more dire and tragic situations, than we might deal with, eh?
 KAKI3152
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 25
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Why is it so hard to have a good conversation?
Posted: 4/9/2012 12:59:44 PM
At the risk of putting my $0.02 in, I am quite proud to be a cynic. While it does no good to be overtly cynical in speech, it serves as a good counterwight in thought. Let's define cynicism: The propensity to distrust or find false the sincerity or goodness of human motives or intentions.
While I tend to approach relationships with overt humor and kindness, I find that thoughtful cynicism serves to keep your emotional equanimity in good balance. Thus, it serves as a valuable counterforce to raging emotion.
 frijolera_ninja
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 26
Why is it so hard to have a good conversation?
Posted: 4/9/2012 3:05:51 PM

^^^I know, and I enjoy reading it. Just that money thing is starting to get a little grating...IMHO. ;)


I agree Thinking ... Steve your so handsome, funny and smart but its almost like your sabatoging yourself with those remarks like a self fullfilling prophecy kind of thing... Im so glad for this woman to come into your life at this specific time! I was realy beginning to worry about you.
 KAKI3152
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 27
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Why is it so hard to have a good conversation?
Posted: 4/10/2012 5:53:59 PM
Well, I think no one is perfect, even those who imagine they are.Therefore, a single reason that sets my cynicism meter started is not a deal breaker. It's the cumulation of perceptions and realizations that finally tips the bucket

But aren't we getting away from the initial question which is why it is so hard to have a good conversation? Good conversations happen to me all the time, just not initally when meeting someone whom I may be interested as a partner.
And one person's intelligent conversation is an utter bore to somenone else. So we go on talking to perfect strangers, hoping for that note of friendship. It's a difficult world.
 KAKI3152
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 28
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Why is it so hard to have a good conversation?
Posted: 4/12/2012 9:11:51 PM
I know what you mean. There are some I should have walked away from, but I think I've learned something from every relationship I've had,whether it was a new music artist I wasn't familiar with or a shared experience that was fun (walking her dogs, going to a church service,etc.). While it may be simpler to move on if things are not "right", I usually keep on going out with that person, until events culminate and a mutual decision is made to not see each other anymore. Luckily, as I become older, my heart is (mostly) inured to emotional feelings that would have devastated me in my younger years.
 KAKI3152
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 29
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Why is it so hard to have a good conversation?
Posted: 4/13/2012 5:54:52 AM
Oh well, no use dwelling on situations that are out of our control.

We are all such unique creatures (both men and women) with cultivated tastes, life long aversions,family emotional baggage, etc. that as we get older it does become a unrealistic fantasy of finding a soul mate that totally satisfies.
Concentrate on what makes you happy, and keep yourself open to opportunities.

I bet we could have an intelligent conversation.:-)
 Roujin
Joined: 2/22/2010
Msg: 32
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Why is it so hard to have a good conversation?
Posted: 5/11/2012 2:18:44 AM
It seems to me that most of the girls I have managed to get into a conversation just seem to make me do all the work to try and keep it alive. I have to ask all the questions, ask the right questions, etc. I would be surprised at this point if I found someone that responded equally and gave questions out as well. It is harder to have a conversation online though, I mean unless you have a topic you can really talk about and both parties are really interested in, it seems doubtful.

At this point I am getting kinda jaded due to results vs effort put in.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 36
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Why is it so hard to have a good conversation?
Posted: 5/13/2012 3:25:11 PM
Ya know I don't think its gender specific... its personality. Some folks worry so much about saying the wrong thing, they don't say anything...but whats the point? If you aren't right for each other.. you aren't right. Might as well just share, and find out if you are compatable. You can't hide who you are forever. Some folks are just shy, and if you are...just say so... :)
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