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 Meems919
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 26
Way Too MuchPage 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
^^^strange....but three quarters of my post didn't "take"....hmmmm......at any rate, trying again, you seem to be quite jumpy, for whatever reason. Tell him it's over, tell him not to call again. You're translating this into stalkerism, and who knows what it is? Maybe he just thinks you're great and the last woman told him he needed to make it clearer when he likes someone.....no need to bring murder into it.
 tlcme1964
Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 27
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 8:38:26 PM
Out of sight out of mind. Ever hear of it? Probably his attempt to keep his foot in the door knowing of all the online competition or perhaps he took your profile literally that your seeking a LTR now rather than when & if it's convenient for you.

And FYI...... No one has NO TIME for two weeks, unless they don't want to have the time. Still eat breakfast, lunch & dinner, don't you? <--- Rhetorical question. Just wanted to point out, that if people are too busy to date, then they shouldn't be online soliciting them.
 amalefriend
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 28
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 8:39:04 PM
I started to see a guy like this. He called me at 6 am the day after we met and shortly after he attempted to contact me five times at work before lunch (phone calls, emails, and through the secretary). I told him I felt like he was stalking me and that I did not want to see him anymore. That was three years ago and he still tries these days, except that I changed my phone number and blocked him on here. Recently Facebook is suggesting that he might be one of my friends so I know that he is looking for me on there too (we have no mutual friends). And some guys on this web site wonder why women don't want them to have their phone number. Beware women he is a lovely prize on this web site looking for his next woman.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 8:53:23 PM
Tell him it's too much! Some people get more excited when meeting someone new. I had a girlfriend who would dump men who seemed too eager. Also got angry when men ignored her.
If after telling him what you're comfortable with he continues to call too much then stop seeing him. How hard is it to communicate our needs/expectations?
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 30
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 9:03:59 PM
This is just an example of what a few simple events can all of a sudden lead too. A couple of unanswered phone calls turns into a stalking event. If I read everything correctly, the OP hasn't answered one call,though she told her "date" to phone her??????

Call me confused,,,or just call me a drunk Irishman. Go ahead,call me.
____________________________________________________________I would have called him back when I had the time – but I don’t see why anyone would think I am obligated to call right back. It seems a lot of the guys here think there would be no problem if I just returned the calls. This is not the point. I don’t really know this man and he doesn’t really know me. If this man were truly interested in me, he would be more respectful and give me the opportunity to contact him in my own time. Just like you guys, we women are grown-up with our own lives and responsibilities. We don’t spring up into existence for you.
Like I first said, calling and calling again because I haven’t returned a call feels very aggressive.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 31
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 9:07:43 PM
I started to see a guy like this. He called me at 6 am the day after we met and shortly after he attempted to contact me five times at work before lunch (phone calls, emails, and through the secretary). I told him I felt like he was stalking me and that I did not want to see him anymore. That was three years ago and he still tries these days, except that I changed my phone number and blocked him on here. Recently Facebook is suggesting that he might be one of my friends so I know that he is looking for me on there too (we have no mutual friends). And some guys on this web site wonder why women don't want them to have their phone number. Beware women he is a lovely prize on this web site looking for his next woman.

Yes amalefriend – He also tried to Friend me on Facebook
 TOEDWY
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 32
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 9:08:29 PM
I like Cultured Black Mans response...


"ok - he just called again - this is really scaring me."
______________________________________________

Im a little confused, after the initial meeting of which you said went well and you encouraged telephone contact because you would be busy.......he's doing what youve asked of him...yet you wont answer his calls...isnt that confusing?

Answer your phone, ask him where is the fire......seems all the calls would stop with a simple "Hello, oh hi, cant talk right now, when is a good time for ME to call you back?

Now youve turned him into a serial killer


Could be that the guy is respecting both of your wishes and may think he's found the one... to the point he is pursuing a lil too much... answer the phone and be honest with him... maybe consider giving him a break with the new info and be considerate as he shows you a new side?
 TOEDWY
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 33
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 9:09:53 PM
I also liked Meems respons in msg 5. You're a class act all the way Meems ;-)
 friendshipcomesfirst
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 34
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 9:47:50 PM
Sorry OP- but I'm going to go with culturedblackman on this... Even if the guy called ten times in one day- when you had time, you should have returned the call. It was rude to say, feel free to call me, and then ignore his calls. Is he going over board? Perhaps. Or perhaps liike you, he has a history that makes him feel it's neccesary...

You basically labeled him a stalker, and potential killer, based on your friend's experience. Perhaps he is worried something happened to you- because you TOLD him you would chat, and you haven't had the courtesy to return his calls. He has good reason to assume the date went well, as you encouraged phone calls.

it is highly unlikely the guy is going to kill you. If he's a stalker, deal with that... but don't label him one when he has done nothing but pursue your company (which you said he could do)
 DrGeek
Joined: 7/20/2009
Msg: 35
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 10:07:05 PM
I'm with Cultured & msg 37. For all we know he really likes you & is showing enthusiasm. Just send him a message if you don't want to talk over the phone, that you are really busy & can't return his call right now as you are concentrating on other more pressing things.

You can easily see on these forum threads that the vast majority of women expect their man to pursue, and this message doesn't get lost on men. Nice guys finish last, right? We all seem to agree on that.

If you ask him to cool it for a while & he doesn't, yes there may be a problem...but not until you make your expectations known to him.
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 36
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 10:34:13 PM
It is way too full on and Lord knows how he would be if you ever got to date him.
If there was no chemistry on your side why even bother. He wants sex. He is a stalker in essence and I would text him about your feelings and then block him. Hopefully he does not know your real name or where you live. ugghhh..
 Gitter63
Joined: 7/21/2011
Msg: 37
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 10:35:46 PM
I think you have every right to be freaked out by this guy's aggressive behaviour. Not everyone on this site is a respectful gentleman. (snort,, guffaw.. giggle) Sorry, I saw the funny I just made there.

Email him and let him know that you're no longer interested and why.

Right now, you're acting a bit like a victim and all he's done is call too many times. If he shows up at your door unannounced, THEN I'd start to panic.

It's pretty simple to end this cycle now before it gets out of hand.

Good luck!
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 38
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 10:36:31 PM
If indeed he has a college degree and yes she should just handle it the way that you suggest LilyBeyaz. Creepy.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 39
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 10:46:42 PM
Dang, poor guy...you tell him you will be busy and then he does what you asked and now you are saying he is stalking you!

If you had just answered and said you were busy he would quit trying...

Poor guy is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't!

Maybe he won a free trip around the world and you were the first woman he thought of to take on it...or he won the Lottery.

All it takes is answering the phone and then saying..hey life happened Im not going to be able to date for a bit so Ill call you back when I have free time and if I'm still interested.

All anyone ever wants is honesty...if you aren't interested just tell him so he quits wasting his time and finds someone else who will appreciate his effort!
 newonthescene76
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 40
view profile
History
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 11:03:20 PM
Let me get this straight, you went on a date with this guy 2 weeks ago, had an OK time, and told him to call you? Then you let 2 weeks go by, all the while listening to the phone ring and you couldn't have picked up the phone once because you are "too busy"? Listen, just be honest with yourself and him, you are not that interested in dating him. So pick up that phone and tell him so and stop creating drama. And before you say "but I'm so busy, I have no time" get off the forums for 5 minutes and have the common courtesy of telling this guy that you are not interested.
 kevyc69
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 41
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 11:14:44 PM
No don`t be freaked out ok... i am like that too sometmes asmen we want tokeep intouchg withthe girl and maybe he hasn`t ever been with a girkl as hot as you! Seriously! He probly likes you that is all! Girls alway compliain tha the guy doesn`t call he so... Tell him to stop calling you so much because it bothers you he will...
 kevyc69
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 42
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 11:16:37 PM
Yeah I hear you! Have you ever just thought opf telling him DON`t call me alot?
 kevyc69
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 43
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 11:20:20 PM
Umm ok... I have heard from so many girls " he never calls me"... "He is ignoring me"... dont you women like when the guy calls you?????Now so if I like a girl I shouldn`t call her???? What does that mean ? to me that means she doesn`t like me so I am never calling a girl ever again! Just for you ok? : )
 kevyc69
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 44
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 11:22:21 PM
YES YOU ARE SO RIGHT! IF SOMEONE LIKES SOMEONE THEY MAKE TIME! EVEN THE FRIGGIN PRESIDENT HAS TIME FOR WIFE AND FMAMILY NO TIME MEANS THEY DONT LIKE YOUY RIGHT!! YEAH NO TIME LIKE I HAVE NO TIME FOR A HOT GIRL THAT IS NEVR TRUE NO TIME MEANS THEY DONT LIKE YOU!!!
 kevyc69
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 45
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 11:25:02 PM
Whena girl says she has " NO TIME "that means to me she just isn`t interested that guy culd prob find another girl that will come over his house and make time right! I mean what does that mean no time? I work 60 hours a week and if a hot girl wants to come over I will make time! No prob there the no time just means not iunterested tom me!
 kevyc69
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 46
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 11:33:19 PM
Everyone here is like sying shit that doesn`t make sense... this guy probly likes you and you are jumping to conclusions... I too have dne this and I hate it when a girldon`t answer the fone... If you wanted to talkto someone and you call them or txt them dn`t you hte it wenthey dnt respond??? I hate it myself! People need to be upfront and honest , maybe the guy just likes you and wants to talk to yo u did you ver think of that? Oh he is a stalker but yoiu gave him ur number didn`t u? ok so just tell him you have such a busy life mthat u cannot tlk to him and he is trying to talk to much is that a crime talking to someone? Tell me is trying to talk a crime?? Nevr heard of this crime tLKING TOO MUCH AND LIKEING A GIRL TOO MUCH WHY IS THAT BAD? yOU SHULD B E HAPPY HE WANTS TO TLK TO YOU YOU SHULD JUST ASWER THE FRIGGIN FONE AND SAYH HELLO I LIKE YOU!
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 47
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/16/2012 11:42:36 PM
I don't like that either and would have lost interest as well. Lie. Email him tomorrow and tell him you are very sorry but your ex-whatever just contacted you is still interested and you need time to consider giving it another chance. Tell him not to write or call, your ex is a very jealous man.
 AddiosSanibel
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 48
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/17/2012 12:19:24 AM
You probably should at least email him to let him know what he's doing wrong. I would say something like this: "You seem like a nice guy. I appreciate (fill in the blank - with some likeable quality that he has). However, building a good relationship is a little like playing music. Both people MUST be on the same page for it to sound good. While I don't mind a phone call once in awhile, I feel uncomfortable when someone calls me as much as you have been calling. You are currently moving at a pace that is way too fast for me. Now, I am not saying that I don't like you. I just need you to back off on calling me so much. Please respect my wishes in this matter. Let's go back to working on our friendship. When I feel that I can trust you, we can resume where we left off." If he asks, "What do you mean by that?" You can tell him about the scary thing that happened to your friend. Hopefully, he will understand why you might be mistrustful. Also, I don't know if you are conservative when it comes to dating, I am. When I was in the dating and getting to know people phase, I was upfront and told people that I didn't like to talk on the phone too much and that calling too often was annoying.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 49
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/17/2012 1:23:43 AM
~OT~ GFG!!!!! This OP went from biitching about him calling too much to him "scaring" here within one frickin' page and four whole phone calls. Sorry folks ~ that is ridiculous. She should have answered the phone and said, "Look, I had a nice time, you seem like a nice man ~ just not the man for me." And this thread wouldn't even exist like all the other "stalker" threads that appear in here. As for personal safety? Men need to be just as concerned as women when it comes to personal safety ~ whether meeting/dating via online or off. The same people we meet on the net are the people we may meet offline and whack-jobs aren't gender specific. If one is not taking time to get to know someone BEFORE the infamous "meet/greet" they are likely going to meet some people they'd rather not know. Email, texts, phone call and TIME will erase a good deal of safety issues. The people who infamously post these stalker threads are usually those who send two/three emails and rush out the door putting lip-stick on. These threads are also generally posted by someone who's opting to ignore someone rather than to simply be an adult and state they are not interested. It takes a lot more than a few calls and a dozen texts to be a stalker. This hypothetical "stalker" was likely more interested than the OP ~ nothing more than that. She should have just told him the truth and he would have more than likely simply moved along. JMO
 russell5417
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 50
Way Too Much
Posted: 3/17/2012 2:17:09 AM
I agree with "vertgreeneyz".......... honesty works wonders sometimes.

A "little" honesty goes a "long" ways.
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