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 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 173
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?Page 7 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I dont wanna hear anything else about others definitions of a real man,


You gave that up when you decided to espouse your philosophy in a public internet forum.

because whats considered a real man now, would have been considered something else in the past.


Not sure I'd hold up Neanderthal man as my standard, but if it works for you go for it.
 Arata_na_Yoake
Joined: 1/25/2012
Msg: 174
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/22/2012 4:25:40 PM
Uh yeah...you were the one who decided to get on your soapbox and preach about what being a man was; most of us were just responding. I could care less if you wanted to raise another man's child or not, and what your thoughts on that whole situation is. To summarize, most of us were just answering the thread title. Which is still no, you sent a couple texts. It takes more effort to empty out a trash can.

In any case, how many times are you going to bring up the mother's "disappointment"? Are you trying to convince us you're a catch or something?
 1ukn4u
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 176
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/22/2012 4:40:40 PM

A
ctually-(it's too complicated to explain here and I'm not sure every state has the same system) I can kind of understand what MAY be happening. Have YOU consulted an attorney? He or she would be better able to advise you. Trust me-the State is first and foremost protecing its' own treasury-and that's not as "off" as it might seem, seeing as how that money came from the wallets of taxpayers.


I understand what your thinking and where you are going with this. Trust me it has nothing to do with tax payers. The system your referring to is known here as TANF program. It pays child support to mothers until the father is located and then gets the money back when they are found. My child will be 2 in April. A. No government assistance was given because the woman and the child lived with me. The minute things didn't work she filed. The minute she filed I went down and did the right thing. So government assistance is not the issue here. B. Even in cases TANF is involved we are only talking about $100 a month for a year. So that's $1200. No matter what interests you put on $1200 it's pennies. In my case your talking about the state has about $10000 of my money sitting there. Even as of today that money is going up. Cause guess what? Today is pay day and you guessed it. They took from me again.

I've had a lawyer all along. The state acknowledges I don't owe child support for the last year. They acknowledge I am actually the one who is suppose to receive child support. Yet they are supposedly still doing what their doing because they are making sure accounting and such to the penny what I owe her and what she supposedly owes me. During all this they have gotten not a penny from her but are still with drawing from my check as of even today.

Any government program system you end up in is a nightmare to get out of. Once they put you on paper you must move heaven and earth to get off it. Heres the thing. I'm not the richest man on earth but I do well. I do as well as I feel I need to. I'm not taking my time away from my child cause the state is stupid and the mother of my child needs it. She needs to find a job damn it. My child has needs too. So sorry if I'm a bad person for this but this is how I feel about it. Yeah I probably could do more for her but I've weighed my options here and this is how I feel about it.

Basically me personally and my child are fine. The mother of my child is basically starving due to this situation. In a way I feel bad cause I could work longer and harder to support her worthless a$$. I would end up neglecting my daughter though. So it is what it is. I can't live with the mom cause I feel she is a nut job. So what am I suppose to do? The thing is I'm in no way affected by this directly. Yet I see other single dads who are. I see kids doing with out because of this. So despite my situation I can't help but feel sorry for the people this system is hurting. Especially the children.
 Arata_na_Yoake
Joined: 1/25/2012
Msg: 177
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/22/2012 4:47:25 PM

The thing is this; regardless of what you feel personally, whats better, a man that can do what needs to be done, or a man who apparently does nothing with himself? I was obviously the better choice. I think her bothering of me was based off that fact.


Once again, why do you keep telling us that? I don't believe ANYONE here has told you to take care of that child even if you aren't the father. You decided to go off on a tangent and say why you wouldn't. You keep bringing up the other guy as if we're supposed to decide between the two of you which is the better option. There's absolutely no point to doing this.

It's a loss with either option.
 icallbs
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 178
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/22/2012 5:02:12 PM
OP, you may not want to hear others' definitions of what a real man is, or how real mean deal with these types of situations, but you came on a public forum and asked "have I done enough?" Ergo, you asked for it. You may not like what you're hearing, but you asked.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 179
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/22/2012 5:25:57 PM
lovefun99- I think we can all give up hope of trying to reach this OP through reason, intelligence, or just on a human level.
When I read the comment you quote, I didn't know whether to be mad or sad.
Those of us here that aren't completely base know that a man who will step up and raise another man's child is ALL man.
Honestly, trying to explain manhood to this OP is like trying to explain physics to a first grader.
You get it I can tell, so props to you.
I was raised by my grandparents. They adopted my mother, so if you want to get technical about it, they were not biologically related to me.
They were my parents/grandparents rolled into one. Though we shared not a drop of DNA, they were my family.
These are things that people with a heart know, something else that the OP is sorely lacking.
He has a mindset that is foreign to me and frankly I don't care to even try to understand such a "person".
 1ukn4u
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 180
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/22/2012 5:41:18 PM

I dont need to toot my own horn or anything. My profile has no info because i'm not dating on here. so I dont need to hope that some woman reading this might think of me as a catch.

The thing is this; regardless of what you feel personally, whats better, a man that can do what needs to be done, or a man who apparently does nothing with himself? I was obviously the better choice. I think her bothering of me was based off that fact.


You sir have a lot of growing up to do. Far as raising another man's baby. This is how I personally view it. Yes, Many people are very biased towards their own children. At the end of the day the genetic difference from one human being to the next is about .02%. So no matter what race creed or what have you the other fathers have or don't have the child is still .02% different than you. Seeing as a human fetus gets half it's DNA from a father and half from the mother that means the part that shows your the father is only .01%. That's what you are worried about. A .01% difference at the end of the day. That's little of nothing. In reality every child is our child. Any man who is willing to father any child is a real man in my book.
 Arata_na_Yoake
Joined: 1/25/2012
Msg: 183
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/22/2012 9:59:10 PM

All this crazy who's the baby belong to drama reminds me of a true story my neighbor told me.
He's a doctor. He delivered a baby & it was a different race from the mother & the man she claimed was the father. The father was furious & started shouting & accused her of cheating. The girl insisted she had not cheated. She said he was the cheater & an egg from one of his ho's probably got stuck on his penis. She told the doctor she wanted a DNA test because she did not think the baby was hers, it belonged to one of his ho girl friends.


That's scientifically possible? I'm far from knowledgeable of the female anatomy, but that's pretty hard to wrap my mind around after taking a college Biology class.
 1ukn4u
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 184
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/22/2012 10:10:54 PM

All this crazy who's the baby belong to drama reminds me of a true story my neighbor told me.
He's a doctor. He delivered a baby & it was a different race from the mother & the man she claimed was the father. The father was furious & started shouting & accused her of cheating. The girl insisted she had not cheated. She said he was the cheater & an egg from one of his ho's probably got stuck on his penis. She told the doctor she wanted a DNA test because she did not think the baby was hers, it belonged to one of his ho girl friends.


That's scientifically possible? I'm far from knowledgeable of the female anatomy, but that's pretty hard to wrap my mind around after taking a college Biology class.


No it's not scientifically possible. Now there are fraternal twins that can have two different fathers. But an egg getting stuck to a mans penis is impossible. This is just a silly BS story.lol
 Sussieee
Joined: 2/28/2012
Msg: 185
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/22/2012 10:20:30 PM
I disagree it can happen, shit I had two kids of my own and they have blonde hair and blue eyes like me then I gave birth to a read headed child with green eyes!Turns out he as f***ing a leprechaun and one of her eggs was implanted in my uterus! True story I swear to god!
 1ukn4u
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 186
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/22/2012 10:24:03 PM

I disagree it can happen, shit I had two kids of my own and they have blonde hair and blue eyes like me then I gave birth to a read headed child with green eyes!Turns out he as f***ing a leprechaun and one of her eggs was implanted in my uterus! True story I swear to god!


Shut up! We both had a lot of Irish in us and we had a red head or you were the one f***ing the leprechaun one or the other.lol
 WL131
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 187
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/22/2012 11:01:27 PM
Court order her and find out for sure. She could come back on you and get big bucks back pay.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 189
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/23/2012 10:35:12 AM
Having read the latest installments to this little DAH-RAMA-here's what I think...
the OP is trying to have things both ways-he wants to claim some kind of macho-ass credit for knocking a woman up-but he doesn't want to actually take any kind of official responsibility.


Bottom line- I think the OP is having an adolescent male/macho man reaction to the discovery that there is a high likelihood that sperm from a man of another race kicked his sperms' ass and took possession of the egg.
He doesn't WANT to PROVE that this is the case-he's just hoping that no official action will come about that forces him to legally and scientifically prove that his sperm got its' ass kicked. So yeah-if he can convince the baby mamma that it's useless to put his name on the birth certificate, it will never be necessary to actually PROVE that he's not the father, and his little ego can minimize the blow it took.
Cindy O
 Sussieee
Joined: 2/28/2012
Msg: 191
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/23/2012 11:44:33 PM
I do NOT have any irish in me and have never had even a little irish in me (hehe)
 mak_68
Joined: 2/17/2012
Msg: 192
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/24/2012 12:03:48 AM

Having read the latest installments to this little DAH-RAMA-here's what I think...
the OP is trying to have things both ways-he wants to claim some kind of macho-ass credit for knocking a woman up-but he doesn't want to actually take any kind of official responsibility.

Eh? Where is he claiming "macho-ass" credit as you put it? He stated they had relations, OK.
He doesn't want to take any kind of official responsibility?
From what I have read, if it is proven that the child is his, he is willing to do his share, he even goes so far as to "guarantee" the child is going to have the good things in life... how is this not taking any kind of responsibility?


Bottom line- I think the OP is having an adolescent male/macho man reaction to the discovery that there is a high likelihood that sperm from a man of another race kicked his sperms' ass and took possession of the egg.

Ohh look.. Shaming language..

He doesn't WANT to PROVE that this is the case-he's just hoping that no official action will come about that forces him to legally and scientifically prove that his sperm got its' ass kicked.

Ridiculous. He wants to know who's child it is. He is simply being somewhat cheap on who pays for what.
Your above diatribe is simply your own unfounded speculation..
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 193
view profile
History
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/24/2012 2:04:55 PM

I was obviously the better choice.

Have to say, that girl is scraping the bottom of the barrel with both her choices.

Years ago, real men raised other men's children because they cared about kids. Real men still do.
 Arata_na_Yoake
Joined: 1/25/2012
Msg: 194
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/24/2012 4:07:08 PM

Have to say, that girl is scraping the bottom of the barrel with both her choices.

Years ago, real men raised other men's children because they cared about kids. Real men still do.


I think from our point of view, both guys and the girl were scraping at the bottom of the barrel.

So glad they brought a child into this world.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 195
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/24/2012 4:09:50 PM

I think from our point of view, both guys and the girl were scraping at the bottom of the barrel.


Oh, I think way past the bottom of the barrel... down into the septic tank it was sitting on top of.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 196
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/24/2012 4:46:29 PM

Ohh look.. Shaming language..


Just calling it as I see it in plain US English. If someone else sees "shaming"in the "language"-it's a matter of their perception.


Ridiculous. He wants to know who's child it is. He is simply being somewhat cheap on who pays for what.
Your above diatribe is simply your own unfounded speculation..


No-it is my PERCEPTION. If you can call "shaming language" on my post, due to your PERCEPTION, then I can make observations about the situation based on mine.


From what I have read, if it is proven that the child is his, he is willing to do his share, he even goes so far as to "guarantee" the child is going to have the good things in life... how is this not taking any kind of responsibility?


Hes' TALKING a lot-but talk is cheap. It takes money to buy whiskey. Seems to me that he ought to be taking steps to
PROVE whether the child is or is not his-not natter about what he and some other observer THINK about the child's male parentage based on the babies looks. Many newborn babies look exactly like what they are-newborn babies.


The thought crossing MY mind is- "where the hell is King Soloman when you need him!?"

Yeah-he's got all this money to provide "the good things in life"-but he can't part with some cash to clearly establish whether he is-or is NOT-the childs' father? Sorry,but IMO-the OPs words and his actions don't track. And actions( or LACK of them!) speak louder than words.

Cindy O
 Jade41
Joined: 8/23/2011
Msg: 197
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/24/2012 4:53:59 PM
you called her ur fwb = friends with benefits
wow u turned out to be a great friend...
maybe u should look that word up....
 LathaMath
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 198
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/24/2012 5:07:23 PM
Isn't Mother Nature a ****? As for those who feel sorry for the child, why is that? **stards can grow up to do amazing things. Royal **stards have become kings. War **stards become surgeons, teachers, whatever. Don't give up on **stards. Feel bad for children badly raised by their own natural parents.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 200
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/24/2012 5:44:05 PM
Bottom line?

Wrap your pecker and insist on the woman showing you that she's using birth control. Then you'll never have to go through this again.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 201
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/24/2012 6:58:16 PM

Yeah, I said that. If it's not mine, it's a thing. I dont care about it.


And this is the child of a woman the OP referred to as his friend.



Yanno-this is just an observation on my part-but I'm beginning to wonder if the issue here isn't REALLY more about the race of his "biological rival". I stick to what I said before-I think there's a macho thing going on here(the words "biological rival" were a clue)-and I believe that the OP is trying to POSTPONE learning the truth.

Calling this newborn child a "thing" says a whole lot about the OP and what it says isn't particularly good.


just confirms at my expense that the other man has a child.



So? It also protects you by providing irrefutable proof that the child is not yours-in case the woman decides to use your info to put YOUR name on the birth certificate.


Without going into a lot of detail, unless you have solid information on this woman's ancestry back 2 or 3 generations, I don't know as relying solely on the childs' color is such a wise idea.

I really think that being proactive in testing-and as other posters have mentioned-being much more diligent in future about taking responsibility for birth control, is what you need to be doing. Get the test done-isn't the peace of mind,and the protection against being named in child support matters-worth the money? Consider it as protecting yourself, not as "confirming that another man has a child". Or is that what you are REALLY having trouble with?
Cindy O
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 202
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/24/2012 7:16:05 PM

It is VERY WELL easy to tell when the woman is white, and the males are BOTH different races other than white.


What coloring does the child have? Unless the child is obviosuly african-america, color does not mean darn. My son is darker than both me & my husband.


just confirms at my expense that the other man has a child.


So you are making this all about your need to play games with your "biological rival", not a child that could be yours? Grow up, modern day human beings are supposed to be more evolved than wild animals & cavemen.



Shoffuering around another mans child.


Oh please, i have driven around many a friends kid, or my kids friends, in my vehicle. Doesnt make me any less of a woman because i have driven kids that are not mine somewhere. if it makes you feel like less of a man, you must be highly insecure with your sense of masculinity.


The hell I look like?


You REALLY want an answer to that?


No. It takes **** to do that.
i am sure all the stepfathers & adoptive parents of the world will agree to that.
 Meems919
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 203
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/24/2012 8:48:23 PM
^^^^ and just so she knows in advance what she's getting into on many other levels, just print out this thread and save it for her.
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