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 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 211
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?Page 9 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
IF the other guy is African American and he "mated" with the mother who is white, most likely the baby would be light brown color (see Halle Berry's child), which would be basically the same if Hispanic guy "mated" with white woman....Of course there are a myriad of possibilities but these seem the most likely.


My point being there Petygrace, is that yes "there are a myriad of possibilities" - I agree, "most likely" the baby would shows signs of his heritage, but it is not 100% certain.

The ONLY way to be 100% certain, is a DNA test.

Heck, she could've slept with 5 guys that month, she only told *him* (and "the state") its between "him and one other guy"... the "other guy" gets DNA tested and isn't a match, guess what kiddo? By *default* you are the father (even if you aren't and there were 3 other guys in there too). Easy solution, get tested, if you aren't a DNA match its 100% certain.

You screwed her without protection, your own stupidity - but reality is, which is cheaper, the DNA test, or 18yrs of child support? (I think you know the answer).
 Meems919
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 212
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/25/2012 3:43:55 PM
"Vector" indeed....should have been "trajectory" given that all you care about are your oh-so-precious sperm.......bletch where's the throw up icon?
 want2rox
Joined: 1/10/2010
Msg: 213
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/25/2012 4:30:37 PM
holly63- right on! I bet if the woman had said anything about a baby, he would still want FWB with her! I read al the posts and wonder why no one brought this up? I wonder how she is feeling also? Once she was good enough to have sex with and now he avoids her like th plague! HEY! GUESS WHAT? You know could be the CREATOR of another single Mom!!:
 mak_68
Joined: 2/17/2012
Msg: 214
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/25/2012 4:50:37 PM
No-it is my PERCEPTION. If you can call "shaming language" on my post, due to your PERCEPTION, then I can make observations about the situation based on mine.

Ohh.. ok. Your speculation based on your perception.
Any chance your perception just might be biased ? At all possible? Are you capable of being unbiased in this particular instance? Capable of being objective? Doesn't seem so... You seem to be creating conclusions based on things unsaid.
I am making conclusions based on your posts.

Hes' TALKING a lot-but talk is cheap.

So you gather that what he is saying has no value then.. but I guess that's the first step in trying to tear somebody down.
Besides... you're on an internet forum. One where you can't even post pics.. talk is all you got. But it doesn't seem to be stopping you from making accusations or conclusions. See what I mean about biased speculating? THe only "facts" or story you have is the OP's.
But damned be what little info there is..
Too funny.


It takes money to buy whiskey. Seems to me that he ought to be taking steps to
PROVE whether the child is or is not his

BS. If she claims that he's the father , then it is up to her to prove the claim. Expenses and all.
I still do think that in the western world, one is innocent until proven otherwise. And I still do think, that the one making the accusation, has the burden of proof. Whether it be a criminal or civil case..
But I suppose the foundations of living in a democratic world just don't don't apply, because he's the "Bad Guy", according to you anyways..
So much for the democratic way... guilty until proven innocent.

Many newborn babies look exactly like what they are-newborn babies.

That's nice.. and how do you apply that statement to the OP's particular scenario?

Your facism is showing..
VVV
 want2rox
Joined: 1/10/2010
Msg: 215
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/25/2012 4:53:03 PM
You seem to have a problem with single mothers yet its guys like you that keep making them that way. Your a good reason why some should be court ordered to go to the hospital and get neutered.-
TOTALLY AGREE WITH YA!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 216
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/25/2012 6:05:54 PM

BS. If she claims that he's the father , then it is up to her to prove the claim. Expenses and all.


Actually-I'm not sure that is true. According to what some other posters have stated, if she puts his name on the childs birth certificate as the father-and then needs any kind of assistance or subsidy from the state- the state will tap his resources to defray that cost. I know that the CS enforcement processes do vary a bit from state to state, and may be subject to change, but the bottom line is that the state is not going to pony up for food stamps, child care subsidy, medical care without looking for a source to defray that expense.

because he's the "Bad Guy", according to you anyways..

No-I'm not particularly calling him a 'bad guy'-not to the extent that some other posters are. I'm simply making some observations based on the wording/phrasing of

his posts, that might account for some of his attitude.

Oh-I see, expressing my opinions and my thoughts on a matter is 'fascism'? Whatever. It's my considered opinion that there is an element of racial tension combined with a perceived "biological rivalry" -that is causing the OP to drag his feet on paternity testing.
But hey-it'll be his paycheck they take money out of if he doesn't take steps to protect himself.

I'm sorry-but I'm inclined to think that this woman may not be as dumb as some would like to think. If her other lover(s) are not financially viable-she may simply name the OP as the father, figuring that he isn't going to try and disprove it.

Actually, as idiotic as I think all 3 people in this little drama are-I do not want to see someone held up in a CS fraud-even if he is a d*ckhead. I don't like women that pull that shit, either. But I also don't think that taxpayer money should have to go to support the child if there is a financially viable father around.
Cindy O
 twelfth_dimension
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 217
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/25/2012 7:42:02 PM
Zen ... dude ... you're really a piece of work. I had trouble believing this came out of someone who was not currently locked up in a psych ward. But wow, here it is.


She could be lying about his paternity. She could have said she is on bc. She could have had morning after pill. She could have had an abortion. FINAL decision in creation of a child is up to the woman. She made a choice to have the child regardless of his say or any other males in the matter. If he had his say, child probably would not exist.


You're right man. She probably planned this all along -- lied about being on birth control, told him not to use a condom because it was all taken care of , refused to have an abortion even after he begged her and offered to pay for it -- just so she could have the illegitimate child of a totally self-absorbed d-bag who wouldn't even lift a finger for her throughout the pregnancy. An FwB no less who even though he wouldn't commit to her, will pass harsh judgement on her for the fact that she slept with someone else. Sounds like a win-win to me.

Since women are such horrible people, scoundrels who want nothing more than to entrap men into unwilling fatherhood, essentially raping them for their seed, why would you bother with them at all? Have ever thought about switching teams? Then you won't ever have to worry about accidentally slipping on the floor and getting a woman pregnant.


I'm not sure if men have psychic powers to order sperm who to impregnate. That would be nice though but we can discuss complexities of male orgasm and ejaculation in sex forum.


Fascinating. Who made the decision to have unprotected sex with a woman he did not want to impregnate then? Did the woman use her telekinetic powers to force him to do this? Or did the sperm do it all by themselves? Maybe women infected all men with a virus that can control all aspects of his behavior? A feminist conspiracy perhaps? You may be on to something ...


Child does not have a father. Forcing sperm donor to become one is ludicrous.


Oh of course -- he's a sperm donor! Is she an egg donor then? Can she abdicate all responsibility for the child as an unwilling egg donor that was forced to carry the spawn of this unwilling inseminator?


In simple terms
woman wants a baby and man does not = woman wins
man wants to have a baby and woman does not = woman wins
Why? Just because she is a woman?


Is that violin music I hear? Here's to all the oppressed men out there, who have been fighting the tyranny of women throughout the ages. It's rough out there ... so, you know, wear a condom.


How about this scenario. Woman breaks into a sperm bank and impregnates her self. Clams she had sex with male donor. What now? Legal system gonna rape a man again?


A classic example of the "straw man" argument. I think they should use this in Logic 101 classes at the university -- in fact, I will pass it along to a friend of mine. Thanks!

You sure you're taking that Thorazine man? It could help with some of these paranoid delusions you're having.
 1ukn4u
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 219
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/26/2012 4:28:12 AM

Zen ... dude ... you're really a piece of work. I had trouble believing this came out of someone who was not currently locked up in a psych ward. But wow, here it is.



She could be lying about his paternity. She could have said she is on bc. She could have had morning after pill. She could have had an abortion. FINAL decision in creation of a child is up to the woman. She made a choice to have the child regardless of his say or any other males in the matter. If he had his say, child probably would not exist.


You're right man. She probably planned this all along -- lied about being on birth control, told him not to use a condom because it was all taken care of , refused to have an abortion even after he begged her and offered to pay for it -- just so she could have the illegitimate child of a totally self-absorbed d-bag who wouldn't even lift a finger for her throughout the pregnancy. An FwB no less who even though he wouldn't commit to her, will pass harsh judgement on her for the fact that she slept with someone else. Sounds like a win-win to me.

Since women are such horrible people, scoundrels who want nothing more than to entrap men into unwilling fatherhood, essentially raping them for their seed, why would you bother with them at all? Have ever thought about switching teams? Then you won't ever have to worry about accidentally slipping on the floor and getting a woman pregnant.



I'm not sure if men have psychic powers to order sperm who to impregnate. That would be nice though but we can discuss complexities of male orgasm and ejaculation in sex forum.


Fascinating. Who made the decision to have unprotected sex with a woman he did not want to impregnate then? Did the woman use her telekinetic powers to force him to do this? Or did the sperm do it all by themselves? Maybe women infected all men with a virus that can control all aspects of his behavior? A feminist conspiracy perhaps? You may be on to something ...



Child does not have a father. Forcing sperm donor to become one is ludicrous.


Oh of course -- he's a sperm donor! Is she an egg donor then? Can she abdicate all responsibility for the child as an unwilling egg donor that was forced to carry the spawn of this unwilling inseminator?



In simple terms
woman wants a baby and man does not = woman wins
man wants to have a baby and woman does not = woman wins
Why? Just because she is a woman?


Is that violin music I hear? Here's to all the oppressed men out there, who have been fighting the tyranny of women throughout the ages. It's rough out there ... so, you know, wear a condom.



How about this scenario. Woman breaks into a sperm bank and impregnates her self. Clams she had sex with male donor. What now? Legal system gonna rape a man again?


A classic example of the "straw man" argument. I think they should use this in Logic 101 classes at the university -- in fact, I will pass it along to a friend of mine. Thanks!

You sure you're taking that Thorazine man? It could help with some of these paranoid delusions you're having.



twelfth_dimension Although you sound like a smart educated woman. Don't do as I've done on this and other threads and underestimate the level of stupidity of your gender. My gender was stupid enough to behave as this guy did on this thread. Believe me there are those of your gender that despite our arguing the facts with them till we are blue in the face that will be stupid enough to do what Zen is talking about.

A woman I met. Was a prostitute. She talked about a client she was trying to get pregnant by. She would grab his used condoms from the trash and turn them inside out dumping the contents into her womb. My reasoning with her did not even reach through her thick skull at all. Here was my basic argument. At maximum child support of what like 1400- 1600 a month and an income tax break your maybe talking about 20 thousand a year. Is that really worth having a child for? She was very dumb.

Another gem of a woman had 5 kids with 5 different dads. Was working on number 6. Her thought process was %20 of each of their checks and she could make a taxless living off of simply being a mother. Not that it mattered at the point she was already at. But logic was not in her. So many members of both our genders need large quantities of thorazine trust me.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 221
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/26/2012 6:57:44 AM

So we are done here.

Thanks be to Zeus for small miracles.
 icallbs
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 222
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/26/2012 11:45:58 PM
^^^^^

OP, wow you sure do know how to circle them wagons... as a final note, can I just point out that you kinda come off as a hypocrite? You've stated over and over again that only a child who is biologically yours would be deserving of any time, treasure, or other material or emotional effort on your part.

Yet you also seem to imply that you also extend absolutely no effort or resources to/for the child you do believe to be yours.

You just keep gettin' better and better.
 sparklingbella
Joined: 8/24/2011
Msg: 223
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/27/2012 2:57:42 AM
I have a vision..15 years in the future..OP was married - wife died leaving him with 5 children aged 2 to 11...guess he would be raising them by himself for the next 18 years as no 'self respecting real woman' would help support and look after another woman's children would she!

Did I read correctly? OP is saying that he has a child that he is not supporting, but is happily allowing another man to support the child. Hypocrite much! Even if the other man is willing, you should be contributing - emotionally and financially, the child is yours!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 224
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/27/2012 11:06:03 AM

am 99% that I have a daughter by a white woman, and that child looks like ME/US, doesn't look at all like the mother....there is a white woman who's child I would be shocked if not mine,




This child looks like had I been born a girl. This child was not mentioned until now, because it was not important to the situation, but kind of is, now. Before I get flamed, she decided its better this way, because of how I was (with girls) but she had given me some info, and had started a family with someone afterwards, and has his kids as well.

OP-thank you for confirming what I suspected about your and your position.

I think it's obvious,given your newly revealed probable daughter( that you are letting another man suport),that you are talking out of both sides of your mouth-you don't think that a fair number of people here haven't picked up on that? Or do you honestly not grasp your own posturing and hypocrisy?
Cindy O
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 225
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 3/27/2012 11:19:15 AM

OP-thank you for confirming what I suspected about your and your position.

I think it's obvious,given your newly revealed probable daughter( that you are letting another man suport),that you are talking out of both sides of your mouth-you don't think that a fair number of people here haven't picked up on that? Or do you honestly not grasp your own posturing and hypocrisy?
Cindy O


Nope, Cindy,I think now I agree with the thread title; he's done enough. No REALLY, he's done enough.
That's it. Enough. Go away.:evil:
 intrepidglobetrotter
Joined: 10/26/2014
Msg: 226
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 12/12/2014 8:16:38 PM
Wow, alright, even though this is so long ago, I must say something.

First, I was totally with you before. You shouldn't have to spend on another man's child. If you decide to take care of her during the pregnancy, then you may form an emotional bond to the child and the mother. I know that after months of buying things, sleeping in her bed, planning a dreamy future, and kissing her pregnant belly, excited about "our" little angel being born, I would. Then she could use it to manipulate you into sacrificing everything for the sake of herself and her child, whom you were apparently not worthy of spawning. The people calling you a jerk *were* wrong. You're protecting yourself, and I would need to do the same to not suffer a nervous breakdown.

But they're not wrong anymore. You are the textbook definition of a stinge. You may potentially have a newborn baby and you're spending 7K on getting your car customized and buying video games? Stingy people aren't necessarily cheap for themselves. They're just cheap and selfish with everyone else. Somebody who only eats at home or only rarely eats out but tips well and is respectful is not stingy. They are frugal, not stingy. A person who always eats at expensive restaurants but never tips is very stingy, even if he spends huge amounts of money. You are a stingy and selfish person. I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt before about being immature and selfish. But definitely not now!
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 227
view profile
History
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 12/13/2014 10:13:38 AM
Early in life I used to hear"Women have choices while Men have responsabilities" and never knew exactly what it meant....now years later I do know.I agree that Men should be responsible for his children but if he is not society has some words for him and none of them are nice or should they be,a woman however has many choices when it comes to children,she can have them,abort them or give them away and still come out looking pretty good....if she has the child then she is a brave and courageous single mother,if she aborts the child then she is just doing whats best for the situation and all involved,if she gives the child away then again she is doing whats best and only the best intentions are assigned to her motives in whatever she does....there is no difference between a man who cares nothing for his children and a woman who cares nothing for her children,both are selfish,both are lacking in character and integrity....but biased and dishonest human beings do the best they can I guess when it comes to who the bad guy/gal is and who the good guy/gal is.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 228
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 12/13/2014 12:33:04 PM
No, I'm sorry...in plenty of societies/cultures,still, a woman WILL be negatively judged for any reproductive situation that arises outside of marriage or very committed LTR. Obviously, she has the option of being as discreet as possible about abortion. NO, people won't openly attack/"slut shame" a single pregnant woman, but the judgement in some social subcultures will still be present. And a putative father can step up and request custody of a child that a woman may wish to put up for adoption. Which is fine but they don't get to "change horses in midstream" and abandon the child years later
I think that nost states with "safe haven" statutes have amended them so that people cannot drop off children older than infancy.
LOOk, everybody has choices AND responsibilities. Anybody who thinks that most emotionally healthy women can just go get an abortion like they'd get a pedicure-with no further thought, doubt or regret-has a bunch of their own issues they should be dealing with.

And everybody has THE choice available to them-to not engage in the activity that makes babies. The Universe doesn't owe anybody sexual gratification and you won't DIE for lack of sex. ( it may seem like that sometimes, I know!but you won't.)
This thread started a couple of years ago, it would seem that the OP still has a profile here-would be interesting to hear how this turned out, or how it's going if he was found to be the bio father.
Cindy O
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 229
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 12/13/2014 6:33:41 PM
It takes two to tango and the woman has to be responsible for her own contraception ultimately. Men will screw anyone that is willing often and no "good enough to have sex with" about it. Of course protection should be used, but some people don't bother and men don't like condoms and often the people concerned are high or intoxicated.

A DNA test is the only way to know and all else is mere speculation.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 230
Please be a good dad.
Posted: 12/15/2014 2:36:34 AM
I never cease to be amazed at how many people on here and elsewhere take bringing new life into this world so lightly.

The poor child is the only innocent in all of this and is the one who generally has to pay the highest price.
Perhaps we should sterilise all people prior to puberty and only allow reproduction if you can prove you will be a good parent.

I hope you had a good dad.
Please be a good dad.
 Dan198508
Joined: 11/7/2014
Msg: 231
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 12/15/2014 9:52:08 AM
@vtecturbo

Consider it a Shordinger cat situation. Until the test is done, you are both "the father" and "not the father". You can ask yourself when quantum superposition ends and reality collapses into one possibility or the other.

So just use the Copenhagen interpretation to describe the child with such a wave function. Both yours and not yours :)
So when you talk to the kid just say like "Hello there my not my child! How are you doing today?!"

I guarantee your GF will run to do a test asap, out of her own budget. Even if it's small and she has to cut on food.

 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 232
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 12/16/2014 12:17:35 PM
vtecturbo- Seriously?!
I barely know where to start with this...........
You have unprotected sex, not once, but twice and yet the tone of your post imply s it's all the women fault?
I hate to break it to you, but the common denominator, with both of these women, is YOU!
You have unprotected sex, you risk getting std's and getting a woman pregnant.
You need to grow up and make better choices.
Go buy two drug store DNA tests, test BOTH children and find out if you are father, if you are, own up to your role in this and support them and be there.
You don't have to be with the mothers to be a part of these kids lives. Children born to single mothers with no father present are more likely to repeat the cycle and get involved in drugs and crime.
This isn't a game, you act, you pay the price.
Please stop doing this, there are enough children in the world growing up without fathers.
Wrap it, zip it, or clip it!
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 233
view profile
History
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 12/16/2014 7:16:00 PM
And what advice would you give to women ? you know,the other half of the equation.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 234
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 12/16/2014 7:23:28 PM
strings6- The same advice I gave to him.
When I say it takes two, I mean it.
Ideally, BOTH people realize the seriousness of the consequences of unprotected sex.
An unplanned pregnancy isn't even the worst that can happen. Imagine finding out you have HIV, because of one careless mistake.
Women don't get a break just because they are women.
Being an adult means taking responsibility for your choices, no matter what your gender is.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 235
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 12/16/2014 8:57:22 PM
Strings???
My advice to a woman????

You @#&*(%^$@#$#W@$^&^ idiot!!!!
Never!! NEVER... NEVER!!!!
have sex without birth control unless you want and are ready to care for a baby.

Get that sorted.

And..
If it's not on..... its NOT ON!!!

 Demidar
Joined: 10/22/2014
Msg: 236
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 12/17/2014 6:02:20 PM
Even though this is old thread the only thing the opp can do is get a court order to force the paternity test . Before he is forced to start paying support for a child that may not be his , the only logical choice . If he is the father then he will become an indentured servant for the next , maybe , 20 years or so .
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 237
view profile
History
So, she had a kid, have I done enough?
Posted: 12/17/2014 7:49:39 PM
Vicki159,don't know where you are or where you are from but in America feeble excuses and walking away is not an option for any man who has any assets,a job or a life...worthless bums on the dole perhaps,but if have anything at all and the woman pursues it you are officially done for 20 years or so
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