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 HIV_STRAIGHT_GUY
Joined: 12/12/2011
Msg: 29
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
If you are doing a 'random' act of kindness, you should not be telling us. That is an indication that you expect something in return. True 'acts of kindness' are based on altruism and are very rare!!! If you are an ' altruist' acting do-gooder you should know that people WILL take advantage of that and in many cases (as you have indicated) will not even acknowledge done deeds. I understand that one would like to feel ' appreciated' for a nice common 'gesture' but don' t expect it in today's world. I have held the door open for many people and most just walk through without even looking at you in the eyes!!!???
 Worbug
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 30
view profile
History
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/12/2012 11:35:47 AM
"No Good deed goes unpunished" Lesson I learned many years ago.
 tuloa942
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 31
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/12/2012 1:21:55 PM
Other's have already mentioned that you may have been looking for some kind of "reward" rather then enjoying the act for itself. That really is the most difficult part, to not expect something back, whether it's a thank you or just a smile. We like acknowledgement for the things we do. It's just human nature. It takes a little practice to learn to do nice things just to do them.

It's nice to do them as you travel through life rather than making a point to go out and do them. Stop for a pedestrian, let someone merge into traffic in front of you, give a wave to someone who let you merge in, let someone ahead of you in line, tell a mother with a fussy baby to not worry about it, etc.

I like to think of it as paying it forward, yes, like the movie. Doing something good for someone in the hopes they will do something good for another person. I did a little googling.

Here's a list from 50 simple ways to pay it forward:
http://thehalfwaypoint.net/2009/09/50-simple-ways-to-pay-it-forward/

Here's a page for Random Acts of Kindness ideas" http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/Kindness-Ideas/Browse/

Have fun with it!

p.s. I have to admit, if I hold a door open for someone, I don't consider it a random act of kindness, it is being courteous. So, I do expect a thank you. That's just good manners.
 Balsamica
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 32
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/12/2012 1:25:47 PM
When Johnny Appleseed spread the seeds for apple trees around America, he didn't stick around for the trees to root and grow and bear fruit and probably didn't get to eat a single apple. He did it for others.

True kindness isn't in it for personal rewards.
 red_fir
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 33
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/12/2012 6:29:07 PM
Of course if your really looking for suggestions send your life savings to me!
I would regard it as extremely kind.....
Plus I'd be able to feel all noble for helping you out in this matter......
 hue5832
Joined: 12/4/2011
Msg: 34
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/12/2012 6:57:06 PM
I wouldn't expect any kind of acknowledgement whatsoever, but things like this always come full circle, whether it be from the same folks you helped out or others. That is very nice of you to do things like this as well.
 lagoda
Joined: 11/20/2009
Msg: 35
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/12/2012 7:25:29 PM
A homeless person sits on a corner not begging but looking hungry and cold. A passerby is moved and gives the person a $20 and says "buy yourself something to eat". The homeless man just takes the money, scowls and mumbles to the passerby, only "you rich people with your fancy clothes and bank accounts".

Another homeless person sits on a corner not begging but looking hungry and cold. A passerby is moved and gives the person a $20 and says "buy yourself something to eat". This man looks up with surprise and appreciation and says a sincere "thank you", several times.

Which one was an act of kindness?
 Holly63
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 37
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/13/2012 2:59:16 AM
One Winter I went to a Crisis Centre. I just got a job and spent my entire pay cheque and walked in there with 5 brand new doonas, 3 new pillows, $100 worth of food vouchers, a couple of my spare blankets and some bags of fresh bread, fruit and tinned food. Considering all that I had to carry I parked in a no standing zone right out the front as I knew I would only be few a couple of minutes.

The lady behind the counter was incredibly thankful and asked for my name etc. Thinking such info was " just for their records" I gave her my info. When I walked out I saw the looks and smiles on people's faces. Their smiles was thanks enough....no spoken word needed.

Anyway, getting back to my car, sure enough I got a parking fine. It was $90. I sat in my car and burst into tears for some reason.

A few hours later I got a call from the Crisis Centre. Someone in there had seen me in tears and took note of my car and number plate. The caller said "We paid your fine for you. Someone saw you. We hope you're okay. "

I was shocked!! I sincerely thanked her and asked if she could please pass on my personal thankyou to the person who saw me. The following fortnight I went back there with $90 worth of food vouchers. What goes around comes around. :)
 RichenLosAngeles
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 38
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/13/2012 8:05:28 AM
Giving someone money is an easy act. It's much harder to actually DO something for someone.
R
 JDinMN
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 39
view profile
History
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/13/2012 7:47:50 PM
omg. msg:44 Holly63. I loveeee you. That story touched my heart. Awesome. ((((you))).


The lady behind the counter was incredibly thankful and asked for my name etc. Thinking such info was " just for their records" I gave her my info. When I walked out I saw the looks and smiles on people's faces. Their smiles was thanks enough....no spoken word needed.

Anyway, getting back to my car, sure enough I got a parking fine. It was $90. I sat in my car and burst into tears for some reason.

A few hours later I got a call from the Crisis Centre. Someone in there had seen me in tears and took note of my car and number plate. The caller said "We paid your fine for you. Someone saw you. We hope you're okay. "

I was shocked!!


I do randoms all the time. This one time... at band camp... haha JK.

One day when I was leaving a drug store some young guy asked me if I could give him some money to catch a bus. I stopped walking, turned around and said,

"Really? Really? A bus? Do you need money to get on the bus or are do you just need money? Which is it? Because there is no shame in needing money. But there is never a reason to lie."

He said, "Needed money". So I said, "Fine" and gave him 20 bucks.

A few weeks later or so, I was at a fast food drive through and saw him working there. He saw me and gave me a thumbs up. I gave him a nod and drove away thinking, "Yay, one less thug in the making, good for him."

It's not often that a person gets to see the results of a random - but rest assured, that sometimes good things do come out of it.
 tuloa942
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 40
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/13/2012 8:44:58 PM
You don't believe in charity? Your post is one of the saddest most cynical things I've ever read. Wow, somebody really done you wrong somewhere in your life.

"One out of every eight children under the age of twelve in the U.S. goes to bed hungry every night."

"More than 35.5 million Americans lived in households (before the recession) unable to consistently purchase adequate food."

"At least one in every eight U.S. residents is not only hungry but also is living in poverty, according to the last official count conducted by the Census Bureau."

These people are not lazy, many of them are working two and three jobs just to make ends meet for the very basics in life. Yes, there are those how abuse the system, but most are doing the best they can.

Okay, they are not starving to death and yes there are a lot of jobs out there but most of them are NOT a living wage! Many people have to choose between paying rent or buying food. Or they have to choose between buying medicine or buying food. Or living in cars and shelters. You try living on minimum wage while trying to provide a roof and food to your family.

A/W
 Holly63
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 41
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/14/2012 12:14:47 AM

I don't believe in charity. This is a rich country. There's lots of jobs if you don't mind working



but anyone who gives their hard-earned money to a bunch of lay-abouts is an idiot.


Lets put a different angle on this......charity isn't limited to the unemployed, aka "lay-abouts". Charity is to help people in NEED. For example:

* Losing everything when your house burns down or is flooded.
* Both parents work but need to raise thousands for thier terminally ill child.
* You lose your job and need a one off rent payment and some food just to tide you over for a month.
* You climb a tree to rescue someone's kitten.
* You pull over to help someone when their car has broken down..............

The scenarios are endless. Methods of random acts of kindness are endless too.
 russell5417
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 42
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/14/2012 5:28:04 AM
msg 42...... you only gave us two scenarios to pick from?

3rd scenario goes something like this......... And yet another homeless person sits on a corner not begging but looking hungry and cold.
A passerby is moved and gives the person a $20 and says "buy yourself something to eat".

This man looks up with surprise and excitement and says a sincere "thank you" several times..........then goes and gets a shopping cart full of cheap booze and goes and throws a huge party for his friends back at the "camp"....

Now........? Which one was the random act of kindness? :)
 red_fir
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 43
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/14/2012 5:31:35 AM
^^^^^^^^^

The answer of course is every damn one of them.
Charity doesn't get to pick and choose the unintended consequences of its actions.
And the guys back at camp think yer swell too!
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 44
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/14/2012 6:44:25 AM
volunteer @ your local animal shelter- ANIMALS can be more grateful than HUMANS sometimes!
 red_fir
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 45
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/14/2012 8:21:35 AM

Then there is scenario #4..And that is help people that are down on there luck(people that have work and tried in life)..But for the ones that have used the system(Welfare)as a living...WELL THEY CAN FLY A KITE!!!


So how will you make that appraisal in the thirty seconds of interaction you'll have in this "random" act of kindness?

Better to feed a world of tramps than stand idle while a good man starves.
 lagoda
Joined: 11/20/2009
Msg: 46
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/14/2012 12:02:28 PM

msg 42...... you only gave us two scenarios to pick from?

3rd scenario goes something like this......... And yet another homeless person sits on a corner not begging but looking hungry and cold.
A passerby is moved and gives the person a $20 and says "buy yourself something to eat".

This man looks up with surprise and excitement and says a sincere "thank you" several times..........then goes and gets a shopping cart full of cheap booze and goes and throws a huge party for his friends back at the "camp"....

Now........? Which one was the random act of kindness? :)


Are we singing 'The wheels on the bus go round and round' song, then let's mention scenario 4 to infinity. What was the original point? If the point you see is that giving a $20 to loser on the street is a waste, then hey, who am I to argue.
 lagoda
Joined: 11/20/2009
Msg: 47
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/14/2012 12:15:37 PM
msg 53,

Your comments are noted and filed in one of the other threads for people who hate poor folks. This thread assumes an element of kindness.
 lagoda
Joined: 11/20/2009
Msg: 48
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/14/2012 1:03:40 PM
^^^ If it's coming out of your taxes then you don't have a choice. How would anyone have this choice?

Actually, welfare is a form of social security not exactly the same as charity. Charity is a choice.
 lagoda
Joined: 11/20/2009
Msg: 49
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/14/2012 1:33:47 PM
MSG 57..If i hate poor people..Then i must hate myself...There is a difference in being poor and being lazy and having a hand out..I help people out that are down on their luck..Not asking for freebies..Big difference!!!!You can be poor and still have pride.OH!!!Please tell me on what thread that i stated i hated poor people!!!!Because i do not even consider myself middle class,But i work everyday so that i can have some kind of a life...I just refuse to help out Lazy Fat Asses and parasites..I help out people that are trully in need..That would be people that really try in life.People that are down on their luck or pretty much the working poor...


What about the disabled? The difference is that charity doesn't always assume someone is trying to pull the wool over its eyes whether that's the homeless man who might be wanting booze or drug money or starving orphans in a developing country who know how to pose just right for the cameras.

No one is happy giving their hard earned money to the government to waste. If there was a way for government to provide a program that would educate and permanently employee the people who are stuck in their poverty, then in a few generations we might see the pockets of poverty like 'hoods' become a thing of the past. Although, no doubt, some think it's easier to hold their hand out than try, charity doesn't assume that these people would choose that lifestyle if they had a constructive way to get out of it. It seems that you make this assumption, as well, the fact that you have a job must mean there is a job for everyone. In my lifetime, I've applied (and worked) for fast food and janitorial jobs when I needed work desperately, but there were many more applicants than me, and only one person got the job. Even those two jobs didn't pay all my bills. It's not all about laziness. You should consider yourself lucky as well as hard working.
 lagoda
Joined: 11/20/2009
Msg: 50
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/14/2012 1:55:06 PM
Someone has probably done a study to determine how much of the total cost of welfare equates to an individual's portion of the total tax they pay, per year.

If there's any wisdom at all to what government is doing, I would suspect they've made similar cost comparisons and determined that a complete elimination of welfare programs would mean a reasonably equivalent increase in the costs of crime fighting, judicial, prisons, etc., plus an individual's increased need for home security, guns, bullet proof windshields, you get the point. In addition to the same old, perhaps there'd be more tax like the cost for street removal of the passively starved to death. Why, because poverty and its effects doesn't go away just because we don't like it.

Some people get themselves completely off the grid to try to avoid the unpleasantries. Others just continue to do what feels right to them.
 russell5417
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 51
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/14/2012 7:28:49 PM
I LOVE ginger beer.
 red_fir
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 52
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/14/2012 7:36:59 PM

@Red Fir..IF you think a man that sits around on his LAZY Worthless ass that can work,But will not work or refuse to work..Meanwhile collecting welfare for a living is a good man...Then that is your opinion..These parasites will not get a dime from me..I work to dam hard for my money with all the taxes going out in my paycheck to see parasites soak up the system..If you want to give money to parasites..Then knock yourself out..GO FOR IT!!!!What ever float your boat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That wasn't the focus of my question,

How do you determine if they're a freeloader or a good person having a rough time in the 30 seconds of interaction you'll be having with them.

And if your just going to keep your money to yourself to avoid the chance of helping freeloaders,
when you have a hard time and no one cares, will you remember why its such a righteous idea to let the bums starve?
 russell5417
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 53
Random Acts of Kindness -- Suggestions?
Posted: 4/15/2012 2:53:03 AM
msg 56........Lagoda.........my comment was me trying to make a hahaha.

I am all for helping people who are down and out.

And as far as the homeless go..................a very LARGE percentage of them are actually VETERANS!! So I am very empathetic as far as they go as well.
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