Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >      Home login  
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 16
one night stands/sex on ther first datePage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
This feels like a George Constanza momment: Just one?

Short answer: Yes.

Longer Answer: Although there are some who are just looking for it, most one night stands happen spontaneously.

Personally, I've never had a one night stand with anyone (so far) I wouldn't have wanted to have a relationship.

Side note: Dude, love is a very strong word for someone whom you are NOT going out with it. Tone it down a bit, IMO.

Also, with whom do you think the 80% of men are having these one night stands? Do you believe it is 1% of the women out there? Like 50 billion served?

Proceed with caution here...
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 17
one night stands/sex on ther first date
Posted: 3/19/2012 6:43:12 AM
First most people have one nighters in there teens and 20s.So one nighers common in that age group. You are a little old for that kind of thing even 12 yrs ago.It is a thing kids do often not as common with adults especially woman. Maybe she feels that is what you are looking for and she is not. I personally would never have a one nighter and never have many woman are not into that. Many men are maybe most men are. I think she thought maybe she was going to be a one nighter or she just did not like you .Maybe you telling her creeped her out, I think there is way more to this than you have said on here.Something about that one nighter you had creeeped her out maybe you telling her about it did also. Grown men dont talk about one nighters with other woman its more of something a guy in his 20s or teens would do. I think you will get a totally different view of this from men and woman. I think men will take a one nighter way easier than a woman. When i was in high school there was one or 2 girls who half the school had a one nighter with.I have not heard anyone talk of one nighters since years ago when i was in college. Maybe she found you immature.I would say 90 percent of all people who had one nighters had it in there teens or early 20s. I think that is the answer you are looking for. I never talked to anyone about having a one nighter my grown friends wouldnt do that there kids in there teens might. I think for myself I am not looking for a one night stand many of us divorced woman are looking for a serious relationship . People who are religious or raised in religous familys also have different view on sexuality too. Maybe this is the case here. I was surprised at a grown man posting this i thought it was coming from someone in there late teens.
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 20
one night stands/sex on ther first date
Posted: 3/19/2012 8:18:48 AM
Carolann this man is in his 50s.not in college. In college that is common I think he had this late in life and I think there is more to this than we are being told. He sounds like he is in his 20s even asking this . He is also assuming this woman loves him which I think it appears she does not. Him telling her this was tacky maybe he told her other things that were tacky too. We just do not know getting just a piece of this. Maybe him telling her this was just to weird and she didnt want to be with him because of it. He should forget her had keep this one nighter to himself in the future.
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 21
one night stands/sex on ther first date
Posted: 3/19/2012 8:25:09 AM
I have. I see nothing wrong with it, as long as everyone is 'in their right minds' (no drugs or alcohol involved to cloud judgement) and proper precautions are taken.
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 23
one night stands/sex on ther first date
Posted: 3/19/2012 10:23:23 AM
I'm sorry ladies, but I have to believe, given the amount middle aged people on dating sites, one night stands are not only alive they are doing very well. I don't see an abundance of people rushing to the alter in middle age and I doubt abstinence is at play here.

Like others have said, people don't want to admit it.
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 24
one night stands/sex on ther first date
Posted: 3/19/2012 10:32:04 AM
OP - if this new girl actually was really interested in you,,,,she'd not find an excuse NOT to spend time with you.

why exactly did you bother telling her of your past escapades anyhow ?

you just are giving someone cannon fodder ....

I'd be willing to say more women have had one night stands then men have had...

don't let this female make you feel as though you did something bad or wrong ...

I don't think she's really that into you bro...
Joined: 7/14/2008
Msg: 25
view profile
one night stands/sex on ther first date
Posted: 3/19/2012 11:20:12 AM
@ queenlathryn: Wow....just wow....I do get what you're maning tho. But I think it goes both ways....women can be that hypocritical to men as well...and it's sad...
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 28
one night stands/sex on ther first date
Posted: 3/19/2012 6:00:14 PM
I would like to help you out OP.
But I never brag about such stuff.
And if you didn't....
you wouldn't be in this pickle.

However on the plus side...
if that one really minor thing soured her....she was gonna sour anyways.
So never talk about sex with church women.
Best leave it to their fervent imaginations till they can't pray it off any longer.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 29
view profile
one night stands/sex on ther first date
Posted: 3/19/2012 6:08:45 PM

My first guess is, that the woman in question is just using that minor episode in your life as an excuse to dump you.


I don't think she's really that into you bro...

Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 31
one night stands/sex on ther first date
Posted: 3/21/2012 5:36:52 AM
I gotta go with she just wanted an excuse to get rid of you.

And I'll admit it, like you OP, once... and its not like I'm "proud of it"... "many moons ago" (heck, almost 20yrs now), right after the ex-GF (of 5yrs) walked out the door cheating on me, I was pretty thrown for an emotional loop... and it was one of her friends actually, who'd just gotten dumped herself, and there was too much drinking and 'commiserating in our sadness' and one thing led to another...

... next morning (and sober ) we both "knew" it shouldn't have happened, and we stayed friends for quite a few years after that (we've drifted apart, but I'd still consider her a friend if I ran into her again). Was it "immoral"? I don't think so, we were both single, we'd known each other for years... ok, both 'emotionally vulnerable' at the time, but we didn't "take advantage of someone", it was a choice by two unattached people, no "cheating" was involved.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >