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 jessebunnies
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 154
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Trusting a man on POF...Page 9 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

He is on. How I know that? Bc I was In her spot myself very recently. I questioned him after two date tho after he invited me in n got fresh with me n next day 10 am he was back on POF n I got not even a hi. He said yeah I go on it it's not like me married. My answer was maybe u should tell u going to go back on it before u try u stick ur tounge down my shirt. He said he is just talking to his fiends n doesn't date them bc he would like to see more on of me? Holly shit dude do u think I'm stupid. We ended up I big fight and never talked again. I'm still recovering just completed my 48 hrs. It is hard to let to of someone who gout u flowers n hold ur hand walking thru creek but he was just playing me for a foul.


Are you serious? Wow sometimes I'm ashamed of my gender. Your going psycho after 2 dates with the poor guy? No wonder every guy on here has no "drama" in their profile. I would too! I guess the real question is after two dates why in the world would you assume exclusivity or a relationship. What's your hurry? Why are women so eager to get into a relationship with a man you barely know? If he wants to date other people let him. Date other people yourself. Later on when you decide you want to be committed then go through all this drama checking each others profile and fighting on dates before your even married but on the 1st, 2nd date no way!
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 155
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Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 6/27/2013 10:23:18 AM

but he was just playing me for a foul.


Sounds like the guy was chicken...
 SimpleCltMan
Joined: 11/11/2011
Msg: 156
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 6/27/2013 10:53:15 AM

He is on. How I know that? Bc I was In her spot myself very recently. I questioned him after two date tho after he invited me in n got fresh with me n next day 10 am he was back on POF n I got not even a hi. He said yeah I go on it it's not like me married. My answer was maybe u should tell u going to go back on it before u try u stick ur tounge down my shirt. He said he is just talking to his fiends n doesn't date them bc he would like to see more on of me? Holly shit dude do u think I'm stupid. We ended up I big fight and never talked again. I'm still recovering just completed my 48 hrs. It is hard to let to of someone who gout u flowers n hold ur hand walking thru creek but he was just playing me for a foul.


What da? I had to read this twice to see if I was reading it correctly. This one floored me. I am just starting to date someone. She is still out here. She went dropped something off at her ex boyfriends last night and told me about it. I know she is still getting messages. She tells me about them. All I can do is trust her and she trusts me. This sounds too much like a control issue. You cannot control if someone cheats on you or does you wrong. Stop trying to do that. Accusing someone of it without any proof is just as bad. So what he is online. He had to see YOU online too.

You have to relax or you will not make it out here in Online dating land.
 L,A, Woman
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 157
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 6/29/2013 7:20:12 AM
Nope he is lying either he leaves it on and does not log off by accident or he is on. Your expectations are high for just having met someone, maybe he just wasn't into you. So, just stay friends or block him. It really is up to you. Just because you have a date does not mean he is in the same head space.
 FitnessFan360
Joined: 6/7/2013
Msg: 158
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 6/29/2013 1:21:39 PM
Just because you don't date more than one man at a time, it doesn't mean he has to live by the same rule. All that mtters is that you enjoy his company, he enjoys yours, and you wnat to see each other again. Live in the moment, take it date by date, and see where it goes. If you are still seeing him after 8-10 dates and want to start being sexually active, then bring up only seeing each other. However, what you are basically asking for is a commitment before you even get to know each other. This to me would be a huge red flag and wreak of neediness. I am a realist and need more than a few dates to date a woman exclusively.

Finally, even if I really like a woman, I could care less if she dates other guys in the beginning. She doesn't owe me anything and the way that I see it is that since a lot of guys know nothing about attraction or how to deal with women, they screw up and only give me more value.
 notyourhomeslice24
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 159
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 6/30/2013 11:45:03 AM
why make issues about it? you are not married and if you arent actually officially dating, what crime has he done? he has a right to talk to other women and check things out on pof. id let this go and maybe you are just being over sensistive
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 160
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 6/30/2013 12:45:19 PM
I was feeling bad for the OP getting scared off by the pretty hostile responses only to realize this thread is a year and a half old.

Hopefully she found someone she deleted her profile for; who was able to delete their profile for her, since that was what she wants.

I heard one recently that as kind of sweet actually; never done it myself; but it was a "rite" of passage two people did to show they were seriously going to try; they each together logged into the other person's online profile and deleted it. Then they had dinner, drinks, nad Im' sure did other things to celebrate LOL.

Kind of cheesy, but I got a kick out of it.

 L,A, Woman
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 161
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 6/30/2013 2:00:04 PM
The sooner you realize this the better. Before men are committed to one woman they can be distracted by so many things especially other women. Unless he has said we are in a committed relationship, play the field. He will not stop looking until he meets what he thinks he wants. Timing is everything with men as well. So, if he is just separated getting out of a long marriage, he wants to and needs to look around. Some men are dogs or they just don't think with their brains when they deal with women. It is the other brain that takes over. So, you can gaurantee he is looking at others and will continue to do so until he is ready.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 162
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 7/2/2013 1:20:59 PM
The idea of 'Playing the Field' is definitely NOT sacred to one sex or another. This topic has been brought up again and again under many labels, one of the latest being called 'Circular Dating'. Whatever you want to call it, it's pretty much based on the idea of self-confidence. Some people are confident in themselves and their own actions (maybe even to the point of being stubborn), so when they feel they've made a good choice, they will stick to it.

Those who decide to 'get out there' and meet as many new people as possible gain their self confidence from others; by constantly getting attention and experience with different people, and learning from it, they feel they are more valued as a person for their experiences.

The trick is that when you decide to stop playing around and stick to one person, that change does NOT happen instantly in all cases. Some people get USED to the idea of 'playing the field' -- they get turned on by the challenge and the chase to the point where they can't turn it off. It's almost like an addiction of sorts. A social behavior that's repeated so often it becomes a habit. Smokers talk all the time about being able to curb their desire for nicotine in relatively short periods of time -- but the social behavior of taking breaks 3-4 times a day and putting something in their mouth to smoke is nearly impossible to stop.

If you want to commit to one person eventually, you gotta be able to take a break from being a 'player' from time to time and make sure that behavior has not became habit-forming, because it CAN. The saddest part is that a lot of 'addicts' don't know they are 'addicted' until it's too late.

For those who have no problem being a one-person partner, you ALSO have to keep that behavior in mind. Insisting that an addict needs to stop cold-turkey and change their lives almost NEVER works, so your best shot is to give them alternatives - keep your dates different, fun, and interesting. Give them a REASON to not go back to 'playing the field' instead of scolding them about it. Little things like logging onto dating sites are relatively minor compared to sneaking out for a quickie with a hooker, so keep that stuff in perspective.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 163
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Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 7/2/2013 2:01:02 PM
Maybe he's wondering why you are online, too.

Thing about sites like Facebook, etc, is a lot of the time it can show someone as online when in fact, they are not. If somebody uses the internet on their mobile or even Xbox, and don't log out, it can show them as online.

Chill out.
 Motivated_Meliss87
Joined: 6/28/2013
Msg: 164
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 7/5/2013 2:30:55 PM
Im guessing this guy is going to run, fast. .. People seem to get love and ownership mixed up, and that is the problem.
 Cinderella_Oahu
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 165
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 7/9/2013 9:29:20 PM
Dear You :-)


I'm a woman too, did have this problem several times already.

Just reported someone who tried to play me this way too... not the first time...

I started to read professional dating advice two years ago.

If you want to get the 'what to do's' - I can only highly recommend RORI RAYE and CHRISTIAN CARTER.

They will provide you with free newsletters... they are worth gold!!!

I'm a foreigner-kid and make so many mistakes when writing... hope you understand me ;-)

***

So, here it goes...

NEVER EVER DATE ONLY ONE GUY AT A TIME!!!

unless he's your husband... even then you can go out with other men, if it's GOING OUT only...

Keep yourself open to many guys and allow them to prove it to you who is Mr. Right!

Mr. Right is sure no person who lies to you and treats you disrespectful right from the start, which is lying about online appearance...

Don't allow men to go on many dates with you!

Give them an ultimatum... 'Look... We've seen each other twice already. We're clearly attracted to each other. But please understand that I have my feelings in this... and I need more security, if we want to get serious from this point on. I would love to keep seeing you, but actually I would like to take it to a serious level with you, which means that we both would have to take off our profiles.'

blah-blah-blah

whatever you say... Make sure, he cannot DATE... TALK... CHAT... CALL YOU... FOREVER, girl!!!

unless this is what you want...

You will never get into the wedding dress nor find Mr. Right this way...

Be available... but not MANY TIMES for the same guy.

If he wants the trophy, he has to pay the prize!

And the prize is that HE MUST COMMIT no matter what.

It's EITHER - OR...

You are a great date... Make sure, 'he'... whoever 'he' is... UNDERSTANDS IT!



xoxoxoxoxox
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 166
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 8/26/2013 7:03:56 PM

You are whats wrong with online dating

You can say that again.....I thought it was a joke post...nothing surprises me.
Quit playing games..date with an open heart and mind....and you will have no problems.
Common sense....goes a long way...something, a few people seem to be lacking nowadays.
Why would anyone... need to read a book on how to date...pfft!
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 167
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Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 8/27/2013 8:50:07 AM
Ooooooo... "Professional" dating advice can work in SOME ways, but it really is a formal and sterile process if you dont lead with your honest true self.

While I will not needlessly condemn it, I feel it brings artificial limits to the table when there doesnt have to be any.
It's weakness lies in assuming that everybody else is following the same sets of rules.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 168
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Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 8/27/2013 3:53:51 PM

Give them an ultimatum... 'Look... We've seen each other twice already. We're clearly attracted to each other. But please understand that I have my feelings in this... and I need more security, if we want to get serious from this point on. I would love to keep seeing you, but actually I would like to take it to a serious level with you, which means that we both would have to take off our profiles.'


after TWO dates?

hahahahahahahhahaaaaaa....

here's MY dating advice, for what it's worth:

DON'T take dating advice from a grown woman with a "Cinderella complex"!

you're welcome!
 m1schi3f
Joined: 11/28/2012
Msg: 169
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 8/30/2013 6:40:02 AM
yup. the app does that. especially if you dont actually log off properly and just close the app.
 m1schi3f
Joined: 11/28/2012
Msg: 170
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 8/30/2013 6:43:31 AM
[NEVER EVER DATE ONLY ONE GUY AT A TIME!!!]

hmmmm there could be merit in that.....
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 171
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 8/30/2013 8:29:53 AM

[NEVER EVER DATE ONLY ONE GUY AT A TIME!!!]

hmmmm there could be merit in that.....


And, of course, the same merit applies to guys. Guys should never date only one woman at a time. Right? Variety is the spice of life.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 172
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 8/30/2013 10:20:58 AM
Yeah, that’s right…..women have to win over men.

It’s been my experience that the GUY demonstrates jealousy and possessiveness after a couple of dates. Who has time to wonder or care if he’s dating someone else?

But some women on here, JEEZ. Don’t think letting him in your panties on date two means you have a “relationship” with him…..then you’re all bent because you had meaningless sex with a man you barely know and he stops calling because of course he doesn’t care about you… but you expect him to?? DUH. Men are easy…I don’t understand why some women want to make them difficult.

Insecurity is very unattractive, but kind of comical, in either gender.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 173
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 8/30/2013 12:37:11 PM
Yes. Men can't be trusted. I usually follow them home after the first date and sleep in the bushes just to see who comes out of their house in the morning.
 KratosSpawn
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 174
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 8/30/2013 5:22:17 PM
This sounds like you have gotten interested in this guy way too soon and are feeling insecure when you suspect him of getting at other women . Nothing is wrong with you or him exploring other dating options until you two see each other as the best choices.
Continue to move through the dating pool and if you see he is the best candidate, start seeking to build something with him. Now he will choose if that happens or not, b/c that is a two way street.....

Either he will seriously step to you or he will passively reject you. Nothing more. Nothing Less.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 175
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 8/30/2013 5:43:42 PM

She's insanely adorable. She gets a pass.


The "little head" speakz.
 Feather21
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 176
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 8/31/2013 8:45:51 PM
IA, on-line dating isn't the best thing for you, for sure.
 notisaystheeye
Joined: 8/24/2013
Msg: 177
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 9/4/2013 4:05:58 AM
You two aren't in a relationship.
 rockx07
Joined: 5/6/2013
Msg: 178
Trusting a man on POF...
Posted: 9/5/2013 2:42:48 PM
YES I have used POF mobile and it's really easy to forget to log out. Or think you've logged out and a few days later find out it looks like you've been on for days .. maybe a glitch .. give him the benefit of the doubt. Somesimers .. 4getas they come !!
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