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Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 15
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Are paid online dating sites any different?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

I've heard news story about a woman getting 5k in free meals on

wow one hungry woman....... was that in a month? or a year or 5 year period??? one has to wonder as details matter..... she should have thought to date someone who owned a restuarant......... bill would have just come to cost, less overhead and tips.

maybe a medical issue with internal worms or stuffing feelings with food. She will be looking for 5K in free personal trainer workouts next !

Joined: 1/27/2011
Msg: 16
Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/25/2012 8:40:31 AM
well yes (IB) i agree, in fact i stated that in my profile , no first dates , just platonic meets, no expectations and no i aint taking you back to my place after we meet . ppl that do that are just desperate users.frankly they wont be there for a 3rd or 4th date anyways
if you like eachother after a few meets, then by all means make a date . personally a date should show uniqueness and imagination. not just how big the other persons wallet or gullet is .
if you cant afford to feed yourself or your kids, im not gonna do it for ya. i been doin that enuf in the past lol
and yes there are men and women out there that just jump from one person to the next under the guise of beiong on a date when thats not what it is and then they expect you to cover their tab
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 19
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Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/25/2012 8:53:35 AM
A good idea to do meet and greets AFTER you have checked exactly what that person is looking for, all it takes is one or two 20 minute phone calls and direct communication ( no email or text) ............

and if that person meets what you are searching for. 90 percent of people on the sites are misrepresenting themselves or their lives............or so horribly jaded, which will become apparent after a meet and greet and a few basic questions.

I did over 100 meet and greets, of that 10 percent considered for 2nd date......... of that half were found to be in serious mindset of personal issues I deemed * not worth it *..... we all make out choices based upon the resources we have available to us and level of risk and tolerance.
Some will be searching forever and some are just enjoying the search with no definite goals in mind........... Takes all kinds.

<div class='quote'>
Funny to me, I seem to forever hear about the male-creeps on the dating sites, but I could write volumes about some of the doozies Ive
that goes without saying....... there are equal doooozies of both genders. cheap, unrealistic, jaded, pervs, nasty and downright gruesome. The stuff of nightmares.
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 21
Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/25/2012 9:08:15 AM
It is hard to compare free sites to pay sites side by side because there aren't that many 'free" sites to start off with.

There are inherent problems with both types. Match(dot)com was the gold standard for pay sites; however, they only charged the men (I don't know if that is still the case). As a result, there were many women who joined and did not take it seriously. Also there were reports that the site put up "fake' female profiles to lure in men. There are obvious problems with this type of model.

Free sites unfortunately draw all types of individuals, liars, and fakes, cheats, etc. The whole impetus of a free site is to get as big as a following as possible to draw in advertisers, which is how their money is made rather than charging the members. This model makes it very difficult for the members to find a desired mate because of the difficulty they have to go through in sorting through the masses.

Other sites like e-harmony take a more analytical approach to it trying to identify a good match through questionnaires; This only works if the members are able to view themselves objectively and can provide an honest reply. The draw back here is the limited pool of pple in a given area. The high cost helps to weed out the cheaters and fakes.

There is no method that can be clearly stated as being superior to another.
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 22
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Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/25/2012 9:55:25 AM
(This is why men need to stop making first dates and take women on a first MEET. All these planned out dates to not even be attracted to someone? Or maybe be sitting with a psycho?
Men and women both can pay for their own drink ( or whatever ) at a first meet. And dating can be 50/50. Maybe make it more clear to people you are not an ATM and not here to feed people. I do blame this on anyone who decides to go the more expensive route. It is simply foolish and not even necessary.)

I agree with this. An "initial meet" should not be a major production. Meet for coffee or a quick drink. If there is MUTUAL chemistry, you can always say "hey are you hungry, want to grab a bite to eat?" I prefer this type of scenario.

I think you can encounter people with good intentions and not so good intentions as well on both types of sites. I would never think because someone spent $40 or even a couple of hundred dollars for a dating membership...that it equals better quality people...especially in NYC where I currently reside. It's very normal to meet people who make really good money here, even in our current economy. I've worked with men AND who I know for a fact made well over $100K a year who did dating who were game players where it was NOTHING to spend $200 or more on an "initial meet" with different women a few times a week...and women who were what I refer to as "dinner wh*res."

I also know people who used paid sites who are currently married. I know someone right now who met her husband on a paid site, has been married for a couple of years, and next month is giving birth to a baby girl...

Everyone's experience can be different. I have a friend who was a member on here for several months. Within that time, she met a few guys on here who either lied about what they looked like and/or were not even single. After her experiences, she decided to cancel her membership. Does that mean every guy is like that on here? Absolutely not...
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 24
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Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/25/2012 10:35:43 AM
one of the big problems with pay sites is BOTH parties have to pay to communicate.
So lets say you have paid and sent off your message to someone you liked, they will not be able to read your message unless they have paid. Now the sites seem to have a tendency to match you with people who dont pay, in hopes they can make more money.

ok cupid did an article on why you shouldnt use a pay site.. and once they got bought out by Match the article magically vanished. Heres a backup of it
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 26
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Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/25/2012 11:32:40 AM

When you think about it, people on paid sites might be more inclined to lie about themselves, since they paid and want to get their money’s worth

my experinces were not like that on pay sites. Just the opposite.

Everyone should try both and see for themselves. The object is to meet your goal, whatever that is: fwb, a long time dating partner, lots of different new people, marriage, bi curious, sex games, whatever..........
its all there.
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 29
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Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/25/2012 12:13:10 PM
I was on a paid site before I found POF. Most of the guys I found on the other site are also on POF. I had more of a problem with guys on the paid site lying about their age. My experience was that it was worse, but that could also have been because I was less experienced at online dating. I've gotten better at screening since then.
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 30
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Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/25/2012 12:22:45 PM
I have seen so many of the same people on paid sites and free sites to make me wonder why would anyone pay for what's free? I have found nothing better on paid sites. It's up to you, go ahead and try a few of the paid sites and see if you like it better. It doesn't really matter what we think, you should find out for yourself.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 31
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Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/25/2012 12:33:46 PM
fewer people on the paid site i tried, but they were all here too. so why bother with it?

i can't believe someone in this thread actually complained about having a bigger pool to choose from.
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 32
Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/25/2012 12:57:07 PM
You can find flakes, jerks, liars, cheaters etc on any dating site. Having said that, I think Match ( relatively speaking ) is better than POF. In general, people on Match were more serious and I had many more dates on Match than I did on POF.
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 33
Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/25/2012 1:21:15 PM
What do you think we are OP, "Consumer Reports" for dating sites???

I think you get what you put into it, paid or not, personally.
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 35
Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/25/2012 1:59:42 PM
As you're still here it just shows match has as good a success rate as pof has..

I'm not actively looking for dates from POF. I'm here for the forums.

Getting MORE dates means nothing. Match has had numerous lawsuits filed against them for paying women to go on dates with men to make their site appear more successful then they really are. Just google match and lawsuit and you'll find plenty of cases where Match had to settle their cases by offering blanket refunds and reductions in cost of service and agree to stop doing the fake dates.

I did an internet search. I saw 1 lawsuit about fake dates in 2005. However most of the lawsuits I saw were about people accusing Match of having fake profiles ( which I think is more likely to be inactive users ) or people claiming that Match had charged their credit cards after they had tried to cancel their subscription. Suppose for the sake of argument, even if half of my dates from Match were with women that Match paid. I still would have had more legit dates from Match than POF.
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 36
Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/25/2012 3:39:26 PM
Are paid online dating sites any different?

A couple years ago when I was all hot and bothered about finding somebody I tried to get onto a pay site. Chemistry or match, don't really remember.

I do remember that they denied me after I filled out their psychological questionnaire. Saying something like, "we're sorry, but there are a few individuals who we have found are not likely to be successful on our site. You happen to be one of them."

I was like, "Well, ain't that something. WTF."

So yeah, they are different. POF let me in. haha.
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 45
Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/25/2012 8:37:11 PM
As far as free sites go, it's like re-arranging deck chairs on the Titanic...
A paid site weeds out broke men. Weeds out people who r just playing (they go to free sites)

Ladies if they can afford a paid membership, they will @ least spring for a latte or cappochino on a 1st meet & dinner if they like you...
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 46
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Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/25/2012 10:25:46 PM
SOME paid online dating sites are different, but the difference is in their focus. eHarmony is primarily a matchmaking site, not an ordinary dating site; it does things very differently, but it is intended for people who definitely want to find "the one" and get married. ('s "upscale" sibling) uses questionnaires similar to eHarmony to narrow its focus in finding people who are more likely to be good matches for one another. Some sites cater to special-interest groups: if you are looking for someone who shares your interest in stamp collecting, vegetarian/vegan diet, or something along those lines, one of the special-interest sites might be able to help you find a match/mate. And of course there are sites specifically for swingers, casual sex, fetishes, kink and all the variations.

As for the "general interest" paid sites, I have yet to find one that really does anything to make them worth the money. At the same time, the free sites sometimes offer extra-value features for a price, and some of these paid features may or may not be worth your while. For example, I'm a premium member of POF, and that lets me see when someone has read a message I sent; it also puts me ahead of non-premium users on searches. I don't necessarily need these features, but I like having them. (Paying for premium-member status also eliminates advertising on POF, which I like; but if you use the Firefox browser, the Adblock Pro add-on does pretty much the same thing, for free.)

Are you going to see most of the same people on paid sites that you find on free sites. You betcha. The difference is, most of them are not paid members; they filled out their profiles, then decided paying to send and receive e-mail isn't worth it, so even if you pay and want to contact someone, that person may not be active and won't ever know you e-mailed them.

For most of us, the free online dating sites are all we need.
Joined: 11/19/2010
Msg: 48
Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/26/2012 5:29:15 AM
All these sites are the same and men and women still post the same outdated photos and shirtless or lingerie shots as well. My favorite are the women that say they are athletic or average and are not even close. Why lie, what does that accomplish?
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 51
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Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/26/2012 8:40:39 AM

We're here because we don't want to pay. Not because we're cheap. Because we're spiritual.

Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 52
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Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/26/2012 9:10:43 AM
Paid sites are no different except that you dish out money for something uncertain. I would not feel good thinking that I had to pay for someone to talk to me. I would rather go on a free site and take my chances and save my money. I would think that on a paid site, the person you met would expect more since they are paying. I do not like the pressure when I first meet someone. A relaxed cup of coffee with good conversation is fine with me without the pressure.
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 55
Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 3/26/2012 11:59:07 AM
Some paid dating sites are complete, front to back rip-offs, existing only to separate lonely men from their money.

Before signing up on a paid site, do a google search on that site.

I'd also advise getting an additional credit card, one with a low credit limit, so that when you realize the site is a rip-off, and can't figure out how to delete your account, you can get them to stop charging your card by maxing it out. They ALWAYS stop when they can't get paid.
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 59
Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 4/2/2012 3:51:30 AM
No they are not much different people. Most people on paid dating sites are also on POF and other free ones but they behave differently. Since it is FREE, so those people felt they are much better with a paid one and behave accordingly. So they display their FREE manners and being themselve on here with crude, lew, lies, and vulgar manners on the free one and feel like they can play as much as they want to. But in a paid dating site, it will be costly to do so.
I have to admit that Match has a nice format that compare stats what a profile owner has along with his/her expectation side by side which safe time and frustation in guessing. True is best to make sure that you really are single before joining and you have to agree to be prosecuted as fraud if they find out that you are not single as claimed.
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 60
Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 4/2/2012 6:43:19 AM
well i don't see how match can charge 35$ a month, and netflix is only 7$ a month

You could get a 3 month membership for $60. Which is only $20/month. Or you could get a 6 month memberhsip for about $100-105. With the 6 month membership, you can get an additional 6 months for free if you match some criteria. Such as emailing a certain amount of people per month. Among other things.
Joined: 3/26/2012
Msg: 61
Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 4/2/2012 9:51:10 AM
I've been on both free sites and pay sites. My last relationship (2+ years) was via a free site. In fact, I've gone on more dates via freebies. I don't think pay sites are any different. Well, pay sites might be more selective since they tend to feel more exclusive. That said, I don't think one offers a clear advantage over the other.
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 65
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Are paid online dating sites any different?
Posted: 4/2/2012 9:01:04 PM
Paid sites have two major differences.

One is that it lessens, but doesn't eliminate the bottom feeders.

Two is a negative. There are those sites that have pretend profiles that are there to keep you paying. If you think a guy shaving two years off his age and posting eight year old pics is a problem, how do you feel about a site created fake one just to tempt you enough to keep you interested?
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