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 chrylann
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 94
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Becoming extremely discouraged!Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
More players on here, not wanting a relationship, just a roll in the hay.
 Sapphire256
Joined: 2/18/2012
Msg: 95
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 5/11/2012 7:19:41 PM
I find that a lot of people are like this more often than it used to be. I've had conversations with girls that would go great and then they would just ignore me all of a sudden for no reason like you said. I find this not only to be very cold but also incredibly rude. These people are not worth the time and effort. So yeah i'm convinced that dating websites are pretty much useless. Putting so much effort into something to get little to nothing in return.
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 96
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 5/12/2012 11:42:00 AM
I'll wait for sex as long as we're exclusive first. Oh, wait...now I sound clingy and desperate. Doh! Mistyfullmoon12 is jaded. You're a bad judge of character and now us men have to prove ourselves. Umm..not.
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 97
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 5/12/2012 11:46:50 AM
I don't expect sex but if I think you're dating around, I'm not gonna sit by while you comparison shop. Kissing you or 'trying to have sex' is one way the guys try and see what you're interest level is. No sex is understandable. No Kiss = bye bye. Lewd picture requests are disgusting and that crosses the line between gentleman and dirtbag. A lazy dater testing the waters to see if he can 'get lucky' and bypass courting you.
 happy2133
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 98
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 5/12/2012 5:06:55 PM
I have had the exact thing as you. I have gone on dates and even 2nd and 3rd dates where they went extremely well. He didn't want it to end. Couldn't wait to see me again. bla bla bla. Then, same as you. Went from HOT to COLD for absolutely no reason. One guy even said he kept going out with me to try to like me even though I wasn't his type. What the hell is that? I'm not anyone's experiment. If you don't like me don't see me again. Pleeeeeeaaaseee don't try to like me!!!! don't do me any favors please lol. I personally believe it's because they are seeing more than one person at a time and even though the date went well, they just want to see if there might be something even better out there. This is why dating sites are good but bad. In the "old" days you tried harder because it wasn't so easy to meet so many people. I compare it to a kid in a candy shop or toy store. There are so many to pick from, how can you just pick one??? It's easy if you look for quality and not quantity and stop thinking you are so great that you can just keep doing better and better and better. If you find someone you click with, consider yourself very lucky and get off this site. That's what I want more than anything. Good luck to you :)
 happy2133
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 99
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 5/12/2012 5:07:19 PM
and before anyone asks.......NO I didn't sleep with them lol
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 100
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 5/14/2012 7:52:50 AM

Well I am in the same boat but atleast you have been on a date. I have been on here for a while now and have been on other sites as well. I send emails and get to talking with them and set up a firs date but right before we are suppost to have our date they find some excuse to cancel and later I find out they met someone the day we were supost to go on our date. I have never had the chance and feal like I should leave the dating seen for another couple of years. Yes I am rusty and have not dated for 3 years and have not been with anyone either. Last relationship was long distance. It realty built my communication skills and I can hold my own for several hours. Maybe I am scaring them away or something because I can hold a conversation longer, IDK. I just want to find someone that wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them. I am not just all talk.


Hey, the fact you like communicating is a good thing; not a bad one. Some people might be a little scared off by the not having dated in three years; so being lower key and having it being more your choice might make people feel better; and maybe initially approaching it lower key where you are going to have initial dates with women with or without potential just to make sure that you get comfortable "back in the dating saddle" again, and can feel (and come across) a little more in your depth.

Not everyone can talk several hours at a time so you will definitely need to find people who appreciate the time thing; but if you are feeling discouraged; maybe a brief time out to collect your thoughts; figure out what you want and get back in a positive frame of mind; and then approach where you don't look for "the one" as much as people you're comfortable around; and see if any click. It takes off the pressure, you will not invest as much emotionally; you will gain confidence, and then you can build a friendhsip into more if someone clicks.

Worth a try maybe? Very best of luck to you.
 lorri5151
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 101
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/14/2012 6:00:54 PM
I too am very discouraged! Why do they just dissapear? It doesn't make sense. I realize it's easier to dissappear, but then why engage in the first place. It's really pretty stupid. Can anyone give me any clarity? Also, has anyone tried to contact the person after they dissappeared?
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 102
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/14/2012 6:30:00 PM
lorri5151: people usually flake out because they either found someone else they are more interested in, or they werent really serious in the first place. many married or otherwise obligated people play games on here and try to meet people outside their relationship.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 103
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History
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/14/2012 6:53:10 PM

Why do they just dissapear? It doesn't make sense.

it does to them, based on whatever their communication sensibilities or capabilities are, even if it doesn't to you.

it's easier to dissappear, but then why engage in the first place.

communication sensibilities don't necessarily have anything to do with a person's goal of engagement.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 104
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/14/2012 11:28:17 PM
I think you are expecting too much of a dating site and I would not waste my money on paid sites. It makes no difference I hear and men would be wary of a woman who feels she has to pay for dating connections. Dont believe all the hype, true connections are rare indeed.

You will find all sorts on here, players, liars, cruisers. If someone met their fiance on a site, that is rare indeed.

If they are not contacting you it is because you are not giving them sex early and at least you were not pumped and dumped and have weeded out the players.

I would be joining clubs and doing activities offline as it is much healthier. I prefer the forums and dont bother with the sites. Much more interesting.
 HeartOn64
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 105
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/15/2012 5:00:10 AM

insane how shallow women are on here


Insane how insecure and judgemental men are on here.;P

This thread is old and the OP is gone.


most men arent that picky


Sure they aren't.How about you find some woman that you aren't
attracted to,date her and see how it goes.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 106
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/15/2012 5:24:24 AM
If you take this site and dating in general too seriously, you will cause yourself a lot of unnecessary disappointment. Dating is supposed to be fun - if it's not, you're making it too much of a big deal.
 lorri5151
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 107
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/15/2012 5:32:42 PM
This is very interesting. I makes me feel like I don't know what my next move should be. Do I call or don't I? I do believe there are men who are genuinely shy and find it hard to make a call; those that are genuinally busy or just change their minds. I feel like my most recent experience was surprising. We had a nice conversation on the phone, but nothing after that. He didn't respond to my short email, but does that mean I shouldn't call? We have a lot in common and I fit the things he said he is looking for. I really don't know what to do. I feel like, what do I have to lose if I call him one more time?
 Oncetwice57
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 108
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/15/2012 6:17:47 PM
LOL....learn to take everyone with a grain......becuase when it happens he will knock your socks off.....as for paid sights...dont waste your time....players are abundance all over even if they pay....and THAT really doesnt figure!.....good luck!
 HeartOn64
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 109
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/16/2012 4:18:22 AM
Venus.....what you just described is what I know to be LoveFraud's who most often happen to also be Sociopaths or Narcissists.Loved your take on it all and warnings.

Lovefraud.com if you want to see what I mean.
 rbwdm
Joined: 7/24/2012
Msg: 110
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/16/2012 8:54:08 PM
I will speak for a lot of men here, and say it really pisses me off when the OP and all the women here complain about ALL the dates they went on and where the guy eventually flakes on them. How about trying the other side: MOST guys here send out dozens even hundreds of messages and don't get ANY responses nonetheless and actual date. Want to get discouraged: try dealing with that.
 destiny203
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 111
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/17/2012 12:27:13 PM
Phycho analyze this guy will ya. He emailed me on here and said he'd really like to talk and meet. So for several days we chatted online and then talked on the phone and texted. He always referred to me as gorgeous and we hit it off, both enjoyed the same things and had the same goals as far as a relationship. He agreed with what I wanted (a long term meaningful relationship with one person), we met, hit it off, so much we hated to leave each other's company. We made plans for me to come to his house this evening and we were going to cook dinner together or go out to eat. This morning he texts me and says he cant wait to see me. At lunch he texts and says call me on your lunch break, so I call and he says, I have to tell you something, I'm calling off our date, I think we are moving too fast, I want to date other women and I believe you want an exclusive relationship. Yes, we established that in the beginning of this cat and dog chase. So he says sorry. Texts me a while later and says good bye, dont text me anymore. I came home and he removed himself as my FB friend. He also tells me that he should have told me he just broke up with his girlfriend a month ago and is not sure what he wants. I said well you need to remove from your profile that you are looking for a long term relationship. He replys well I am. This is a guy that that if you look at him and read his profile would swear he's not just like the others, but guess what. I'm with Extremely Discouraged. This happens all way too often. We need a page where would can post "Buyer Beware". There are way too many of them on here.
 sha91
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 112
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/17/2012 7:10:25 PM
Bottom line...Men have too many choices! You can be just what they're searching for or just the right mate and they have to keep on searching and dating. That tells me that a guy is NOT serious about truly finding someone. Most Men just love to date diffferent women without the commitment. Very few who's serious about settling down with ONE woman...very few. Young and Old.
 Durgadas70
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 113
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/19/2012 6:58:31 AM
I`ve been around this site off and on every now and then for awhile now and what I`ve found is that online dating is like everything else online. People can be whatever they want online and can and will do and say whatever they want to whomever they wish online. Once you get them to come out into the real world everything changes because they are no longer anonymous and that gets scary for a lot of people.
 angel2stormy
Joined: 1/9/2010
Msg: 114
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/19/2012 1:08:40 PM
OMG, I have the same experience... I am sooo tired of these games men play. I meet with somebody, have a great time and they say they had a great time too and we need to get together again, and then I either didn't hear from them again, or just like you they txt or call once or twice and then silence.... I am questioning if it's maybe because I didn't get all chummy and slept with them. Seriously. What is the problem? And yes I would love to ask these guys WHY too, but I don't want to look desperate or being seen as a stalker, so I try to put my mind to ease by telling myself "that's there loss". And FYI it's not only this site.
 Truth223
Joined: 8/1/2012
Msg: 115
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/19/2012 1:27:12 PM
Tell me about it. Not to toot my own horn,but I think im doing ok for someone my age,but it never feels good enough for women these days. I have a good job,my own house,dont do drugs,dont drink much at all,no kids and no baggage. But whatever.
 rbwdm
Joined: 7/24/2012
Msg: 116
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/19/2012 10:41:57 PM

OMG, I have the same experience... I am sooo tired of these games men play. I meet with somebody, have a great time and they say they had a great time too and we need to get together again, and then I either didn't hear from them again, or just like you they txt or call once or twice and then silence.... I am questioning if it's maybe because I didn't get all chummy and slept with them. Seriously. What is the problem? And yes I would love to ask these guys WHY too, but I don't want to look desperate or being seen as a stalker, so I try to put my mind to ease by telling myself "that's there loss". And FYI it's not only this site.


Wow, ms Angel2stormy I just read your profile. You are here complaining about how the guys flake on you ... wanna know why ? Because you think you are so hot you are attempting to attract guys 20 years younger than you. You come on as being cool, and then they meet you to find you are actually like their mother !

Yes, your profile age range goes down to 28. Here is a quote from your own profile: "I love younger guys because there easy going and fun, and there not afraid of trying something new or unexpected." For younger guys, this is an invitation for sex. They meet you and don't get the sex they expect so they disappear. This is rocket science ?

Here is a clue, try dating men your own age. In fact, I am age appropriate for you and a Gemini which would be a great match for you. Problem? The guys you've been "trying" to date are 10-20 years younger than me. In fact, you are 48 and your age range goes 48-28. Try this: set your age range from 53 to 46 and guess what? Yep, these are the guys who really want to meet you and will treat you with respect and not like a sex object.

Figure out the issue yet ?
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 117
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/19/2012 11:15:45 PM
I think to ask about whether sex has taken place is a pertinent question and some guys are only out after the conquest and if it is given too early, they lose interest. If a girl holds out too long, he will also move on.However this is a free dating site and because of the large membership it is known for its sleazes, players and liars. You take your chances but dont expect anything and you wont be disappointed. Very very few meet anyone worthwhile that leads to any sort of lasting relationship. It happens but not nearly as much as is hyped by the site owners.
 OneMilkshakeTwoStraws
Joined: 7/31/2010
Msg: 118
Becoming extremely discouraged!
Posted: 8/20/2012 10:02:12 AM
At least women GET dates on this site. It appears almost impossible as a man, unless I were to pick from the random women who message me that look like Jabba the Hut... Hell, I'd rather date Jabba the Hut then some of them... or the women who just say, "Hey" or "I like your eyes" or whatever... at least I take time to write creative, personalized messages.
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