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 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 226
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?Page 10 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
I wonder would the guys that engage in casual sex think less of themselves for having sex with someone that just wanted sex and really wanted nothing else from the guy?"

>>>I think we all agree, the bad thing about casual sex is those who lie about their intention to have it, in order to have it. Perhaps the second bad thing is after the sex, when you realize your partner found someone quicker than you did :)

as for the pros and cons of casual sex, I think we all have different goals in sex. Some people can connect to a stranger (Even one not having sex) faster than some other people. That's ok, nothing wrong with that. its a good thing to know what turns you on and what doesn't. I don't date people i'm not attracted to, b/c I did that and saw how it hurts the other person. If we can just pick the person we're sexually compatable with, that's great. And if we can be compatable with them in a relationship as well, that's awesome (I was talking on the phone with a friend about a past relationship where I wasn't a total connection to a gf but we did great in bed and of course that releases bonding chemicals in our brain).

(and unfortunately, STDs can come from people in a relationship as well, at least that's what I've been told by some who've caught something :) ).
 RenissanceMan68
Joined: 12/3/2016
Msg: 227
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 228
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/8/2017 7:00:32 AM
" Hahaha man does that make them get hungry"
cool story Bro. Don't want casual sex, don't have it :)
Never have to try on lots of shoes Prada 8 1/2
 RenissanceMan68
Joined: 12/3/2016
Msg: 229
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 230
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/8/2017 7:37:11 AM
This thread is total BS.
First of all, what is the definition of casual? Is it having sex with someone you won't marry five minutes after having sex? For some people, casual means having sex only once a day, and for others, it means once a decade. Has there been any scientific research that relates the amount of sex and who the sex partners are linked to how it relates to the chances of depression? Is it impossible for people who have "good quality" sex to ever get depressed? Is the cure for depression is to have really good quality sex?
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 231
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if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/8/2017 8:17:20 AM
Maleman wrote:

First of all, what is the definition of casual?


To me, it means having sex knowing there's likely going to be no exclusive relationship. It can be a FB, FWB, or ONS. But that's just my definition....others may vary. I do not see any problem with it, unless one partner is fooling the other into believing something more may come (NPI) of it. And as long as precautions are taken.

But most of the time, in my experience at least....more "serious" discussions were never had prior to jumpin' in the ol' sack. Usually that gets both parties off the hook as far as giving out false expectations.

I believe "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" scenarios are rare. At least it never happened to me in all my years of dating.


Stop right there!
I gotta know right now!
Before we go any further!
Do you love me?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me?
Will you never leave me?
Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?
Do you love me!?
Will you love me forever?
Do you need me!?
Will you never leave me!?
Will you make me happy for the rest of my life!?
Will you take me away and will you make me your wife!?
I gotta know right now
Before we go any further
Do you love me!?
Will you love me forever!?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C11MzbEcHlw
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 232
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/8/2017 2:00:23 PM

I also do not want an STD and far too many are way to cavalier with birth control and safe sex... Just another element to the whole thing.


STDs can certainly happen when you are in a committed relationship as well even if both people had been tested. A disease could be latent or your partner could be cheating on you. Making the results of the test moot.


To me, it means having sex knowing there's likely going to be no exclusive relationship. It can be a FB, FWB, or ONS.


Agreed. Casual sex is any type sex outside of a committed relationship.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 233
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if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/8/2017 4:15:33 PM

I think we all agree, the bad thing about casual sex is those who lie about their intention to have it, in order to have it.


I'd agree with that.
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 234
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/8/2017 4:55:42 PM
imanorangetiger-
"I think we all agree, the bad thing about casual sex is those who lie about their intention to have it, in order to have it."

Not only do I agree with that statement, IMO, this is the heart of the matter when it comes to casual sex.

I think of an exchange I had with a man just two weeks ago.
I found a message from him in my inbox, read his profile, liked what I saw and messaged him back.
By his third comment, he told me, straight out, that he worked a lot and was only looking for something casual.
I thanked him for his honesty and told him I wanted more than that.
I didn't expect him to say anything else, but he did, he apologized, he started explaining he really wasn't a bad man, he just didn't have the time, etc.
I surprised him by telling him I didn't think he was a bad person. That he was honest with me and a lot of men lied and led women on.
The next thing I know, we are going back and forth and now he wants to meet me because of "my attitude", he was wavering because (as he put it) I seemed "nice."
So, my next message, I said......"Does the fact you like my attitude and that I seem nice change the fact that you travel, does it change the fact you want casual and I don't, if not, we should end this because we don't want the same thing. I'm not going to meet you, nor is there any point in you meeting me when we know it won't work. Like I said, I appreciate your honesty and really do wish you the best in finding someone that wants what you want."
Boom-just like that he was gone.
The only thing I felt afterward was, "Well, that's too bad, but at least we both were honest."

How many times on POF do exchanges go the opposite way, how many times do people of both genders outright lie about their intentions?
Casual sex doesn't lead to depression, getting lied to and played does.
Equally problematic, people who try to do casual when they can't, in other words, people who lie to themselves.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 235
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if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/8/2017 5:04:44 PM

Casual sex doesn't lead to depression, getting lied to and played does.
Equally problematic, people who try to do casual when they can't, in other words, people who lie to themselves.


Bang on. No pun intended. :D
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 236
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/8/2017 5:12:43 PM
imanorangetiger- "Bang on. No pun intended. :D"

Yeah, right. You're a punny fellow. :D :D
Please forgive me, I couldn't help myself. ;) :)
 RenissanceMan68
Joined: 12/3/2016
Msg: 237
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/12/2017 4:25:25 AM
Heres a question:

Can depression lead to casual sex?
Maybe many who engage in casual sex do so because they are depressed, have low self esteem, and want to feel wanted and maybe just drown their issues and use sex like drugs or alcohol.

Sounds like a valid hypothesis to me.
Thoughts?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 238
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/12/2017 4:56:06 AM
To use a popular expression, I think that's bang on for mild depression. For deep depression, I guess the desire is to do nothing but lay in bed..whether or not that could led to sex if someone else jumped in, i'm not enough of an expert on depression. from what I know, the focus turns inward. But someone who isn't secure in themselves might be depressed, and sexual release of chemicals is a drug in its own way. But there may not be a direct connection from A to B, it may be coincidental, like someone gets an opportunity and decides to take it.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 239
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/12/2017 7:03:19 AM
I suppose there are some people that have casual sex because they were already depressed about other things. But I wouldn't generalize all or most people that had casual sex did so for this reason.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 240
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/12/2017 7:53:22 AM
^^^I agree. With that in mind, can lack of sex lead to depression?
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 241
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/12/2017 7:54:41 AM
Speaking of definitions, what constitutes a 'committed relationship' ?

Says the gals that won't have casual sex outside of one, cuz I don't commit til I see the goods first.

And I sure as hell won't spend outside of a committed thang either.

YMMV
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 242
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/12/2017 8:08:14 AM

Speaking of definitions, what constitutes a 'committed relationship' ?

Says the gals that won't have casual sex outside of one, cuz I don't commit til I see the goods first.

And I sure as hell won't spend outside of a committed thang either.

YMMV


I don't understand when things became so complicated.
OLD because it presents a virtual smorgasbord (even though we can't have everything on it)?
A committed relationship (to me) means you're only seeing one person.
And that's the person you have sex with.
At some point, you have a conversation and you say "I want to be with you".
The end.

I get the part about not committing before having sex though.
I wouldn't do that either.

Money? Yeah. I don't know.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 243
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/14/2017 6:18:41 AM

With that in mind, can lack of sex lead to depression?


I think it could or not being in a relationship in general might cause depression for some people as well. Some people could get very frustrated about constantly being turned down or none of their dates progressing into a relationship
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 244
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if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/14/2017 7:00:49 AM

If casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?


My right hand.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 245
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/14/2017 7:10:08 AM
supposedly, lack of expulsion does the prostate no help. Its apparently good to fire off a few warning shots every now and then. Helps prevent carpal tunnel too :) (not sure about that, but its a good enough excuse).

Lack of sex could be lack of human contact, and that could lead to depression. Always getting rejected, I can't imagine how that helps confidence. I have a lot in life to be thankful for, but getting constantly consistently rejected reminds me of Pinnochio wishing he could be like the rest of the normal guys.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 246
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/14/2017 8:12:36 AM

supposedly, lack of expulsion does the prostate no help. Its apparently good to fire off a few warning shots every now and then


According to my doc, yep, I can keep doing what I do, and use a doctor's note as a reason for my sinful ways. Orrrrrrr, if any of you ladies would like to volunteer, we do have medical coverage up here.



Lack of sex could be lack of human contact, and that could lead to depression.


I think I may be wired a little differently than a lot of people. The less contact with humans I have, the bigger the smile I have on my face. I still have the grin on my face after meeting up with a wolf this past Monday while hiking one of my rivers. For an animal that isn't known to enjoy human company, he wasn't all freaked out about meeting up with me on his trail, and graced me with his presence for more than a fleeting glance. Had enough time to use a camera, and yet, I didn't.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 247
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/14/2017 8:45:03 AM
"we do have medical coverage up here."

>>>Being Connecticut born, its nice to know Canada pays for being a yank-ee.

Nothing wrong with being an introvert, in a way I've always been one--no roomates, living out in the boonies, etc. I like being around good people, but there's so few, so I end up being alone rather than being frustrated.

meanwhile I love cameras--Kodak was right when the advertised, "Capture the moment". and then take it home with you.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 248
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if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/14/2017 9:14:58 AM

Can depression lead to casual sex?


Libido is one of the first things to go out of the window when depression comes along.
 sandwater
Joined: 4/2/2017
Msg: 249
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/29/2017 9:22:20 AM
I don't have casual sex very often. But when I did, I had fun. No hang ups, regrets, depression or low self esteem. Like other have said, be sincere about your intentions, enjoy it for what it is, and don't have any additional expectations.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 250
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/29/2017 11:23:33 AM
the self esteem has to exist, before the casual sex. if casual sex is used to feel not physically better, but emotionally better about oneself, results may not be felt unless one likes to put others down in order to raise oneself up. But if you go in having good self esteem about yourself, then two adults sharing a fun activity in a mature, respectful way, doesn't automatically have to paint the scarlet letter upon your chest. like sandwater said, have no additional expectations--it is what it is, it doesn't represent anything more.
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