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 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 101
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Casual sex linked to depressionPage 5 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
FixedVariable in msg 85:


This should be pretty simple.

If casual sex depresses you... don't engage. If you're happy with such an arrangement... engage


And out of the wilderness comes a voice of sanity.


Abelian in msg 99:


Humans can provide enough negative reinforcement for a dog to associate sex with pain, and a dog will avoid sex, too, only a dog won't create layers of obfuscation and self-delusion to turn it into a virtue in order to be happier about it, so a dog will learn to not have casual sex a lot faster than a human will. (Geez, I hope I don't give any ideas to the christian right here.)

What a great idea for a science fiction short story. Think “Harrison Bergeron”, only preventing sex rather than preventing intelligent thought. Where is Kurt Vonnegut when you need him?

Ladyc4 in msg 110:


The other thing that I begin to wonder about, is that perhaps women who've been conditioned to see sex as an "obligation" to be honored in return for commitment, fear that their "product" is being "undercut" by women who have a more open-minded attitude towards sex.

I suspect that the fear may be rising to the point where women who don't like sex are feeling pressured to engage in sex against their 'druthers' in order to "compete" with women who are less inhibited/negatively conditioned. So they go looking for propaganda against non-marital(non "committed relationship") sex, claiming it causes unintended reproduction, STDS, and now depression.

My respect for you and your cognitive abilities continues to increase.
 pasmal
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 102
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/27/2012 5:04:42 PM
I really doubt there is a huge campaign woman against woman, competing over virtue, undercut products, etc.
This sounds more like resentful shame talk.
Maybe the ones pro fwb feel defensive and interpret women who don't like going down a slippery slope of casually bonking people and wasting their time, as judging them.
Maybe a small minority of women judge the"sluttiness" of other women, but I doubt many care what anyone does--it would be a waste of time worrying about other people's sex lives.
I don't compete with other women, so undercutting...oh brother.
I also doubt there are women existing who "don't like sex".
They want it under certain conditions, with certain people.
And not all sex is good or makes one happy, one tries to set up the best conditions to fulfill oneself.
That is an individual choice, not one made by the pressure to conform, or you're a square.
The "make this a casual sex world or you are sick and damaged, frigid, hung up" is really what goes on socially vs people trying to have more fwb--that conversion already happened.
So, what is all the defensiveness about?
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 103
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/27/2012 9:08:41 PM

Msg118: Maybe the ones pro fwb feel defensive and interpret women who don't like going down a slippery slope of casually bonking people and wasting their time, as judging them.

Slippery slope? Bonking? Wasting time? I’d interpret that as judging. Women are often the perpetrators of unconscious sexual shaming, as well as the targets.


I also doubt there are women existing who "don't like sex".

Loss of sexual desire in women is a frequent marital problem. In men too, of course. Not everyone has a sex drive or enjoys it.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 104
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/27/2012 10:07:29 PM

Maybe the ones pro fwb feel defensive and interpret women who don't like going down a slippery slope of casually bonking people and wasting their time, as judging them.


Again-the only thing I'm concerned with being "defensive" about...is the miscalling/mislabeling of friends with benefits involvement as "casual sex". A true and functional FwB is more like "semi-casual" sex. It's not about having sex with someone you don't like/aren't attracted to-why in the WORLD would anybody want to have sex with someone that they don't like and aren't attracted to?

Umm-unless you didn't enjoy the sex-how is it a waste of time?
Let me again stress that I am NOT suggesting that people should be going out and having sex with strangers or persons that they dislike. And for those who can simply put their libido on a shelf when not in a relationship, nobody is saying that FwB is some kind of modern social requirement. It's simply an option, and no it's not 'perfect',and it is not for everyone.


Maybe a small minority of women judge the"sluttiness" of other women, but I doubt many care what anyone does--it would be a waste of time worrying about other people's sex lives.


Then why is this thread in existence? According to the OT, there is a woman who cares so much about other people having casual sex, that she is writing BOOKS about how bad casual sex/FwB is.


I don't compete with other women, so undercutting...oh brother.


Nor do I-I am simply mentioning what I have observed and heard-even right here in PoF forums. Believe me, this is FAR from the first anti-FwB thread we've seen. Some of them have gotten quite snarky-or overwrought.


also doubt there are women existing who "don't like sex".


Well,according to a lot of men, there are LOTS of women existing who don't like sex. Of course maybe they are all just lying, trying to get sympathy(insert sarcasm icon here).


They want it under certain conditions, with certain people.


FwB is not the same as hookups with strangers or general promiscuity.


And not all sex is good or makes one happy, one tries to set up the best conditions to fulfill oneself.

Of course! But not all people feel that the only "best conditions" are confined to committed LTR or marriage.


The "make this a casual sex world or you are sick and damaged, frigid, hung up"


Nobody is promoting casual sex.

Correctly intepreted, FwB is not "casual sex"-it's just not a "progressing-to-longterm-committment" interaction. I would think that true "casual sex"( hookups, one night stands, booty call) would be the most likely way to experience bad or disappointing sex-or to be tipped into a bout of depression.


So, what is all the defensiveness about?
I dunno-why are there people here so strongly defending the idea that '"committed relationship sex" is the only "right way to have sex"?

My "gripe"-if it could even be called that-is how some people,apparently predominantly MEN, I'm sorry to say...are using the term "friend with benefits" to set up what probably IS a sexually exploitive situation. The "friend" part should have at least equal weight with the "benefits".

What the author of the writings that inspired this topic is calling "friends with benefits" -is NOT really FwB.

Any kind of friendship that causes depression never WAS a real friendship. If sex is causing someone to be depressed, then something is amiss. However, as other posters pointed out-there are MANY causes of depression...and in the women "studied", there are several OTHER possible culprits.
Cindy O
 Sportsfreak89
Joined: 12/28/2010
Msg: 105
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/27/2012 10:14:10 PM
Not all casual sex is because of depression. And in reality not all casual sex is bad either...as long as it is done safely.

Friends with benefits relationships are not bad either. But again, there is a right way to go about it, and a wrong way to go about it.

In essence it's all in how it's handled and the motivations behind it. Some people might have a casual sex relationship because the sex life is great but the dating life wouldn't work long term. Well needless to say we as humans are naturally attracted to what gives us pleasure in life.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 106
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/28/2012 9:08:37 AM

Maybe the ones pro fwb feel defensive and interpret women who don't like going down a slippery slope of casually bonking people and wasting their time, as judging them.


I’m finding it difficult to believe that you are privy to every woman’s sexual life, to determine that every sexual experience outside the confines of marriage is a waste of time.

And of course it’s women being judged here, not men, as if their behavior is inconsequential.

How is sex a ‘waste of time’ anyway?

If you don’t get the ring?

Anyway, MutedEnthusiasm said it beautifully, so I will repeat:


Slippery slope? Bonking? Wasting time? I’d interpret that as judging. Women are often the perpetrators of unconscious sexual shaming, as well as the targets.


I’m not pro-FWB, or pro-casual sex, or pro-locking your knees together…I’m pro-minding your own damn business.

Oh, and women undercutting women has been going on forever. I’d be willing to bet it’s more easily recognized by women who don’t participate, than by those who indulge.
 pasmal
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 107
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/28/2012 1:13:27 PM
fleuron--where did I say I was privy (or cared) about every person's sex life?
"Waste of time"--I'm referring to my opinion, for me--no one else--that I'd want a future potential with anyone I sleep with.
If it doesn't work, fine, then it's short term. I wouldn't set up a situation knowing it would end--as usual, speaking for me.
When did I say everybody has to do what I do?
I do hear others saying if you don't have fwb, you have some hang ups vs doing what works for you.
As for not liking sex...If a person doesn't want to have sex, assuming they are in good health, it's s usually they don't want to have sex with the person in their life, and maybe they are stuck in the relationship--financially or whatever the case may be.
It's not unique to get pleasure from sex, though certainly the drives and needs are different.
Oh, and I am not particularly pro marriage, nor do I wear jewelry.
Waste of time, for me is having sex and calling it friendship or fwb--I'd call it involved on some level.
If I like someone enough for that, I'd date them or not bother.
 infennario
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 108
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/28/2012 2:02:43 PM

The other option would be to work to change your perspective so you aren't depressed and unfulfilled from casual sex.


Another option is to consider the social and economic landscape of American female college students in their 20’s today. That includes such things as having far greater exposure than we had, as children, to single-parent households (emotional and economic ramifications) and the current skyrocketing rate of births to single mothers, now over 50% of births in the US. Those are very real to my kids and their boyfriends (all in their 20’s), and they say flat out that it affects the way they view sex and relationship, and the choices they make. Its such a different world and view than I had growing up and at their ages.


Has it occurred to you that we might care about something beyond our own sexual satisfaction? That we have daughters and sisters and friends that are vulnerable to misinformation? That we would object to misinformation (and bigotry) of any kind in the public arena, whether it be sexual or political or religious or pseudo-scientific, etc? Has it occurred to you that some men might care about people they’ve never even seen or heard of and never will, let alone have sex with them?


Generally people whose motivation is their care for others are open to hearing and understanding the others’ many voices, to considering additional information and opposing positions, and to moderating or adjusting their position in order to have greater understanding.

On another point, though, the day that men get pregnant and left holding the baby is the day that the world will change. I don’t know, but I can’t believe that there is any “science” that proves that sex, especially for the fertile female, is devoid of a reproductive component at the primal/chemical level, or that there is solid “proof” that the primal chemical impulse for pleasure and reproduction can be parsed out much less prioritized.

America since the Summer of Love has not been all peaches and cream, and the truth is in the middle way. So we might as well listen and consider rather than banishing dissenters from whatever doctrine we adhere to. Pathologize those who disagree? That’s old school.

As to not knowing these subjects- I know many female college students in their 20's, including my children and their friends. And despite their being raised in unquestionably liberal communities, in liberal families and going to liberal institutions, their view of casual sex is very different than their dad's and mine were at their age. (And, no, there is nothing "wrong" with them.) The baby mama and baby daddy phenomenon is VERY influential to them, and to their boyfriends'. As are the economy and desire to create stable marriages and families.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 109
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/28/2012 2:39:52 PM

Waste of time, for me is having sex and calling it friendship or fwb--I'd call it involved on some level.

You don't have any emotional involvement with those you call friend?


I wouldn't set up a situation knowing it would end--


But the end,or any change,in a FwB doesn't have to end in emotional violence. Don't you sometimes find yourself and a friend kind of drifting apart? I mean, I hope that doesn't happen to anyone often-but it does happen. Best case "end of FwB" scenarios are that both people find someone whom they believe to be the "real deal"-OR-it dawns on the FwBs that they ARE right for each other. I do not advocate that anyone go into a FwB thinking they can make that happen!

Again, as far as involvements and relationships ending on a significantly negative note-IT HAPPENs. Even serious committed LTRs and marriages. Sometimes platonic,even same-gender friendships end badly.


When did I say everybody has to do what I do?

Who here is trying to force you to do as they do?

What's being discussed/defamed/dissected/defended/attacked/explained is a sociosexual CONCEPT. The worst drawback of FwB-IMO-is that is so often used to sell an apple to someone who wants to buy an orange. Now if tons of young college women are being steered into being cum dumpsters or live masturbation devices by men saying "here's an orange"(fwb) and then giving them an apple( f*ckbuddy)-perhaps the resultant depression will create a teachable moment-that one must look past the words and look at the actions.


do hear others saying if you don't have fwb, you have some hang ups vs doing what works for you.

so? I do hear some using attempts and judging and shaming to discredit the people who do not categorically condemn FwB.


It's not unique to get pleasure from sex
I don't think anybody said it was?


If I like someone enough for that, I'd date them or not bother.


Actually, that is NOT off the table for FwB.
The more likely scenario is that the 2 involved people do non-sexual things together-heck even if it's just one helping the other to whitewash the chicken coop-as friends and companions.

In a FwB that works well, it is not unknown for the 2 people involved to be presumed bf/gf, SOs or even spouses.

I'm not basing this statement just on personal experiences-but also on people I know that I (and other people as well) initially presumed to be in a relationship-but as I got to know them better, it became apparent that it was much closer to being a FwB.

As to the book, or study-whatever-that was used as a lead-in to this "lets badmouth FwBs" thread-it appears to me that the researcher/author was studying women who were in f*ckbuddy situations...as to who placed the "FwB" label on these involvements,I can see several ways that may have come about.

Hey-if ones' emotional makeup is such that one can only enjoy sex within the framework of a clearly-defined, tradition-based "relationship"I can well imagine that forcing oneself to participate in less-defined/less traditional could cause depression. Heck even the same person can be in different emotional places at different times in their lives and I would imagine trying to force oneself into any behavior that doesn't really "fit" ones' current emotional location,could tend to cause some depression or negativity of spirit.
Cindy O
 pasmal
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 110
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/28/2012 3:07:46 PM
Cindy, "friend" used to mean non-romantic and non-sexual.
It's a sexual relationship, so the skirting about with euphemisms can trivialize your interaction--you are ranking people--good enough to sleep with, that's it, but not attempt a relationship.
If you or others do it in a way that is respectful and no hard feelings, who am I to say a thing but I doubt most people are that mature or are doing it as you describe, for them it is casual and with little emphasis on friendship.
The dating scenario is often a waste of time with all the expected instant hooks up--forget any actual involvement other than sexual.
Re the "unique" comment--
Oh people are acting like the "frigid" crowd hates sex and refuses to have fwb, when they
prefer doing it another way, having lulls between involvements.
Endings--I don't care if a relationship ends, if we were honest and the relationship was respectful but just didn't work--what I said was I don't go into one knowing ahead of time it's limited or doomed.
Shaming or judging--I don't think I've done that or attempted to stop others from doing as they please--I've spoken to my pov only, whereas others--not you-- feel the need to say their way is "right".
 Mr_Celibate
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 111
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/28/2012 3:37:20 PM


than all we have to do is follow our lower instincts and everything should work out great.


No way to know for sure. We haven't been on the planet long enough to know if our evolutionary branch will be successful or ust one of a multitude of branches that died out due to a poor ability to adapt, survive and perpetuate their species...Humans are capable of going against nature even though nature has had a good track record for billions of years and always wins in any dispute...Humans apparently have a great enough intellect to engage in self delusion, but not nearly great enough to be completely logical.

I myself, have been on the planet long enough to know that if we follow our lower instincts, letting almighty nature take it's course, without using our brains and our hearts and souls, to temper our actions, we will tear ourselves to pieces. I guess nature wins and we lose. Now I understand the "Planet of the Apes" movie.

You're not "misunderstood" by the "illogical" unwashed, we just disagree with you. Human beings, as a "species", will survive until the end of time. It's the so called "enlightenment" philosophies that will not "survive and perpetuate." They are already "mutating" to their logical dead end.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 112
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/28/2012 3:52:14 PM

pasmal 128: Shaming or judging--I don't think I've done that

But your post is loaded with judgmental language, saying others are…
– skirting about with euphemisms
– trivializing your interaction
– ranking people
– people are acting like the "frigid" crowd hates sex and refuses to have fwb
– others feel the need to say their way is "right".
– The dating scenario is often a ‘waste of time’, the very same charge you made earlier, pasmal, and then denied it was about anyone’s situation other than your own…


pasmal 125: "Waste of time"--I'm referring to my opinion, for me--no one else--that I'd want a future potential with anyone I sleep with.

…when clearly you intend to apply it to others.


I've spoken to my pov only, whereas others--not you-- feel the need to say their way is "right".

Perhaps you "feel the need" to judge others? There’s actually quite little of your point of view there – just misrepresentations of others, and the judgments you pass upon them.
 pasmal
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 113
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/28/2012 3:58:13 PM
What you do Muted is slam anyone who does not agree with you.
"Waste of time" refers to me, yes, and anyone else who feels it is. I guess you think I'm the only one with this dangerous notion.
Rather than accepting I think differently, you are claiming I'm out to legislate --that would be YOU.
You find it dangerous to think anyway but your way.
I'm done with your misreadings, and attacks.
What's funny is you think I have some agenda to stop others from having fwb --as if that means anything to me, shaming or controlling others by having an opinion(contrary to yours).
What I get tired of is your billboarding your notions and preferences like they are facts, instead of stating they are your preferences.
If you dominate a thread and shut down discussion, I guess it proves you're "right"
because people are tired of your misrepresentations.
 cap_n_mORGAN
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 114
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/28/2012 6:14:55 PM

She states that depression is rising among her female students and is finding that more and more of them engage in "Friends with Benefits" scenarios. In the end, the women often feel like they're not getting the "friend" part when the man is still reaping his "benefits". They "aren't even aware they're being exploited."


I have said before I tried the FWB thing twice and both times the women just assumed the FWB would turn into a "relationship".

The quote above seems to back up my experiences.

Tell me why is the friends part just for the woman and the benefits part just for the men?

If it was agreed upon by both to enter a FWB then if the women are not getting the friends part just whom is to blame for that? Also how is anyone being exploited? I am pretty sure a FWB requires both parties to agree to keep it casual. You know no strings or expectations on either party.

Here is a thought if you are not mature enough to handle a FWB and know it is only a FWB and will not change into a relationship (just because you want it to) in time then don't get into a FWB.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 115
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/28/2012 7:31:17 PM

I am wondering... what is the friends part? I mean is it hanging out... doing stuff…

That would be my guess. That’s what I’d want – some interactive face time doing stuff that wasn’t in the bedroom. And trust and respect, helping each other, some emotional support, a few laughs, knowing I’ve got her back… ya know, friendship! (grins)
 R00T
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 116
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/28/2012 8:53:11 PM

As the above article states during sex women release a hormone that causes her to bond while men release pleasure hormones. We are depressed when those bonds are broken. While they are just horny. We are NOT men when it comes to sex. We are unable to do the same as men due to our chemical make up. This is why men pay for sex while we as women would rather spend thousands on shoes.


Yeah tell that to the cheating wives lol
 Devilsfan58
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 117
view profile
History
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/28/2012 8:53:39 PM
I thought this individual was trying to explain what happens when the colleges are so heavy laden with more female applicants then males. A search for "Lack of men on campus or shortage of men explains quite succintly that the dating schemes have changed due more to supply and demand and I thought quite frankly this individual thought that was unfair to women. Well it might be but....those times they're a changing.

This is not a response to fixed variable...
 infennario
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 118
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/28/2012 10:34:08 PM
^^^ hahaha!! That's probably true! There are more women than men completing college degrees these days... huh. Good point.

How this devolved into some debate about the "rightness" of casual sex, debated by parents of college age children, not college age people, I can't fathom. That might be our concern and issue- god knows its as old as we are. I guess it spun off from the proclamation that the reason 20-something females feel depression is because of the indoctrination WE received. I suppose it might be one tiny possible component of what college age females might be living and feeling that might affect sex and depression. But its a tad myopic and self-centered. Some of the comments are absurd-- "mature enough" to have meaningless sex? I can't believe that the capacity to have meaningless sex is a measure of maturity. My dog is mature enough to have meaningless sex. Maybe its the absurdity and emptiness of the arguments that meaningless sex is superior or exalted that are depressing.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 119
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/28/2012 11:13:44 PM
I can't believe that the capacity to have meaningless sex is a measure of maturity.

I'd agree with that. For the most part, maturity means learning to be unhappy and feel better about it by telling yourself you're smarter than the 5 year olds who are happy because they don't know they aren't supposed to be until their parents get through with them.

My dog is mature enough to have meaningless sex.

No, your dog just doesn't have the intellect required to turn a biological function into a guilt laden ritual. Dogs are, in general, a lot happier than people, too. Ever see a depressed dog?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 120
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/29/2012 5:25:24 PM
Maybe its the absurdity and emptiness of the arguments that meaningless sex is superior or exalted that are depressing.


Nobody is "exalting" anything. A genuine FwB is not "meaningless sex".
All that is happening here is that those who are not frightened of FwBs are questioning what appears to be an attempt to disseminate anti-FwB propaganda. Good grief- this is the year 2012, not 1912. I have an idea that what is happening with these depressed college girls, is that they are being persuaded into serial casual sex with the same perpetrator-by the perpetrator mislabeling it as "friends with benefits".

Message # 140-IMO maturity is sorting out ones' own happiness by figuring out what information and teachings from parents, school and peers really makes sense for one's own happiness and sense of self-worth-and what is not applicable. I would say that as far as FwB goes-"do unto others" seems like a good policy. Don't try to set up a booty call by labeling it as a FwB. Don't USE other people for anything unless you are perfectly prepared for "what goes around comes around".


I am wondering... what is the friends part? I mean is it hanging out... doing stuff…

That would be my guess. That’s what I’d want – some interactive face time doing stuff that wasn’t in the bedroom. And trust and respect, helping each other, some emotional support, a few laughs, knowing I’ve got her back… ya know, friendship! (grins)

That's PRECISELY how it's supposed to work. OK, nothing is ever PERFECT-but that should be the spirit of the thing.

I'd say that the fence separating "FwB" from "relationship", is the MUTUAL understanding and agreement that this is not an involvement that is going to go to "higher levels".
That might be due to any one, or even combination of factors.
Let me say right here that being MARRIED is not an acceptable basis to establish a FwB elsewhere. That is called cheating. There may be some CASES-such as an incapacitated spouse-where compassion may drive an extramarital involvement, but it is not the same thing as a FwB. (I just thought I would bring out that point before an anti-FwB person tried to lump cheating in with FwB.)


I suspect, however, that you have 2 friends doing the FWB thing together with huge libidos and the "friends" part may in fact take a nose dive sometimes.

If you're truly good friends, though and are all clear on what's ok and not ok with you... I'm not sure that anyone is going to be too concerned.


I doubt anyone is fool enough to say that this can't or won't happen. It's a human relationship and no 2 are exactly alike...or exactly perfect.


think the "doctor" is very wrong when she says that the casual sex issue affects girls worse than the boys. It is equally damaging to both. I have witnessed this personally.
The boys experience the same attachment, withdrawl, and depression that the girls do.


I have no doubt that it does happen, and I am sure that there are scenarios where a FwB between adults out of college age results in a man being disappointed or hurt.

However, unless you have some books.or studies, or magazine articles generated with someone having the initials PhD behind their name, I suspect that others here will claim that boys don't get the same emotions from sex that women do-so that boys CAN'T be negatively impacted by the "meaningless sex" which is all FwB is-according to some factions.
Cindy O
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 121
view profile
History
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/29/2012 6:32:10 PM
Must get meds for my right hand...
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 122
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/29/2012 7:01:12 PM

The phrase "meaningless sex" tweaks me quite a lot. I've never had meaningless sex.

I have had casual sex where I have been well aware of and content with the fact that this sex I was having was not part of a serious commited relationship necessarily, but each encounter I've had my entire life meant something.

Precisely!

However, I don't want anyone who is firmly against any sex other than that associated with serious committed relationships, to take my position as a negative commentary on their choices. As long as no crimes are being committed,nor violence , force ,coercion involved-as long as sexual encounters are handled responsibly, and people are being truthful about the nature of the involvement-whatever it may-or may not-be, I think we should not be disrespecting people and the way they choose to have sex.

No one should be requiring anyone else to participate in sexual interactions that they don't agree with, or promoting one particular type of sociosexual interaction as "right" and all others (excepting illegal, irresponsible or nonconsentual sex)as "wrong".

As to what may or may not be going on with college-age women and depression, I don't think that study is true research... it appears that a conclusion was formulated and "information" was gathered to support that conclusion.
Cindy O
 hen
Joined: 11/17/2005
Msg: 123
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/29/2012 9:11:49 PM
Well it shouldn't make you depress if the women get paid. That explain why prostitution is one the oldest profession of mankind. Women should not be naive and let guys use them. I don't care if you make a billion in a yr, remember women have something that men are willing to pay. Or be prepared to give charity. If we just change the thinking of our society. The media and hollywood dumb movies have made women vulnerable. I am just sadened that I am born in time where women have no respect. The world can not go one with out a women and the society should not make women feel bad of her choices.
 onlydateIF
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 124
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/29/2012 11:58:06 PM
I'll just speak for myself. I won't do FWB or just casual sex. I've read plenty of research on both oxytocin and vassopresin as well as receptor genes to know that the author in OP's original post is not just some lone voice in the wilderness whose research seems biased as the naysayers and deniers throughout this thread claim. I find it interesting that any thread posted referring to a woman waiting to have sex until she feels comfortable, outlying the biology for a woman once she has sex which might lead to one choosing to ony do so when in a committed relationship...well those threads often get objected to by proponents of casual sex. To each their own. Everyone has a right to their own body and bodily functions. Noone else 'owns' those rights but the individual to whom they belong. Thanks for posting this redelectric. Whaa? about all the backlash-pay them no mind
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 125
Casual sex linked to depression
Posted: 3/30/2012 3:22:44 AM
This makes a lot of sense. As a man, I feel it could have contributed to some of my bouts with depression as well.
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