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 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 201
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?Page 9 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
I agree with the last three posts. Success is enjoying what you have, and it may not be the cat's meow for everyone, but it has to be for you. Some will accept "The glass half full" and casual sex with an attractive (enough) person is OK when there are no other options. Others want to feel that connection, b/c they'd rather make love than shag. I still associate it with heisting a pint at the pub--some don't want to do with strangers. Others won't mind making a temporary new friend. but both love the buzz.

now I have to ask, is Mercury sold in the UK, or is a "merc" a Mercedes Benz?
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 202
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if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/4/2017 3:47:42 PM

is a "merc" a Mercedes Benz?


In the UK, yes. And it's pronounced 'murk' when spoken. :)




In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 forumslady
Joined: 12/7/2016
Msg: 203
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/4/2017 7:46:52 PM
PennyAnte- (Re: message 222) It will get stuck in your head, won't it? :D
Maybe I'm feeling a tad evil, but here's another one that will too............

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aae_RHRptRg
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 204
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/5/2017 2:43:19 PM
Thanks, Tiger, that's what I thought. Over here, Mercury was a branch of Ford Motor Company, a stepping stone from Ford up to Lincoln. Going from Ford to a Mercedes Benz over here is a big leap, my friend's daughter was surprised to find oil changes that used to cost $21 were $100 for her new Mercedes SUV. She dumped it at a loss for a Subaru all wheel drive wagon, but I think its the car she should have gone with in the first place, considering we get snow and she's a secretary. Her daddy bought everything before this, so I think she didn't grasp the real cost of the things Daddy could afford for himself and his wife.

As for making a connection with another human being in order for sex to be worth all the effort....I was mulling this over, and wonder how much of an affect there is in an individual's ability to connect with other people? Some people can make a friend in just a few minutes, open up to a stranger and make them comfortable enough to share. Perhaps that person feels more comfortable making "Enough" of a connection that casual sex isn't as disconcerning as it is to someone who takes longer to feel connected to new people?

I suspect the big problem with casual sex is...our ego finding out how quickly our partner moves on to someone else :)
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 205
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/6/2017 7:47:08 AM

Most people who sex casually...have 'other issues', that lead to them devaluing themselves.


I'm sure there are people that have casual sex because of low self esteem and other mental / emotional problems. However I don't think that necessarily applies to most though. Sometimes casual sex or a FWB relationship can satisfy what a person is interested in at the time. Perhaps they got out of a long term relationship and aren't looking for anything serious. Or they don't have the time or energy to invest in a serious relationship because of other things going on in their life. Or 2 people may like each other. But there is a specific reason they don't want a serious relationship with each other. Such as certain differences in lifestyles or beliefs.
 RenissanceMan68
Joined: 12/3/2016
Msg: 206
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/6/2017 9:06:41 AM
south city... maybe...
but that all sounds like deep dedlections and denials od the real underlying truth. Sex isnt something to be casually shared, and when it is....deep down people know it aint right, its cheap, shallow, a cop out, and a false way to bolster themselves. They think having someone sexually desire them will make them feel better inside, and it doesnt. Truth of the matter is if youre into casual sex or FWB, your moral radar is virtually non existent.

We can do things...doesnt mean we should, and when we do anyways, odten that weight gets carried...for those with morals and a conscience.

To each their own, but dont expect anyone to really respect you or WANT you if youre an easy lay oe look at sex like its some kind of hobby.
Many excuses to be slack, but I for one am buying NONE of them. To each their own.

I dont care if it sounds conceited. I will not throw myself around like loose change. Ever seen a dollar bill? Ever lose one? Who cares, its only a dollar. Ever seen a $10,000 bill? Most have never even seen one, muchless had one...muchless knows one even exists.

You wanna treat yourself like a buck? Be my guest, but dont get all depressed when youre only rented, but never bought.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 207
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/6/2017 9:45:56 AM
This thread sounds like one of those "woman good, men bad" rants, which I hate.

Blaming men for women's problems is stupid.... plus, I don't like it. Women have casual sex by choice, nobody is holding a gun to their heads. Maybe if they choose more wisely and used their heads they would have less problems. Sometimes victims are really just volunteers.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 208
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/6/2017 9:56:17 AM
^^^Totally agree. That's the problem with many of the threads here. If two adults agree to have sex and it doesn't lead to what a woman expects afterwards, the guy is always the villain and the woman is a victim. Why isn't it ever the other way around?
 RenissanceMan68
Joined: 12/3/2016
Msg: 209
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/6/2017 10:37:35 AM
^^^^Agreed, and as such, many women set themselves up from the outset. They will easily invite someone in then wonder why they can so easily leave after.

Women often set themselves up... with lofty expectations, but dont conduct themselves in ways to realistically acquire those goals and expectations.

No farmer wants a cow if he can get the milk without having to work for it.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 210
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/6/2017 12:22:47 PM

^^^Totally agree. That's the problem with many of the threads here. If two adults agree to have sex and it doesn't lead to what a woman expects afterwards, the guy is always the villain and the woman is a victim. Why isn't it ever the other way around?


I think it does happen the other way around.
But mostly it's women who post about being disappointed?
If you have it in your head what you expect (and don't share it) you shouldn't be surprised.
I think once you agree to have sex, you should agree what your expectations are...besides
great sex of course.
 RenissanceMan68
Joined: 12/3/2016
Msg: 211
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/6/2017 12:29:28 PM
Oh yeah... the other side of the coin.
Ive been told by many female friends... it isnt always about what they expect...
its what they didnt expect.

Apparently theres quite a few guys out there...
secretly into some weird shit.

I dunno of that can lead to depression, but it can sure lead to disappointment.
And yep, you bet that its a concern that flies both ways...

I guess 'knowing' a person first kinda helps, BEFORE you decide to bump uglies with them
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 212
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/6/2017 12:41:46 PM
Prolly not having sex leads to depression for some people.
Some people just enjoy having sex -- shouldn't be labeled it they have casual sex as opposed to FORMAL sex.
I haven't heard bump uglies in years.
 swedishtextiles
Joined: 2/2/2017
Msg: 213
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/6/2017 12:55:31 PM
^^^

I haven't heard bump uglies in years.


Not to mention one the endless variations of that old saw---why buy the cow when the milk is free>>>


Hahahaha

Good advice never goes out of style~
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 214
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/6/2017 1:08:47 PM

south city... maybe...
but that all sounds like deep dedlections and denials od the real underlying truth. Sex isnt something to be casually shared, and when it is....deep down people know it aint right, its cheap, shallow, a cop out, and a false way to bolster themselves. They think having someone sexually desire them will make them feel better inside, and it doesnt. Truth of the matter is if youre into casual sex or FWB, your moral radar is virtually non existent.


Maybe some people that claim to like casual sex or FWB are lying and feel cheap afterwards. But I'm not one of them and there are other people that are like me. As mentioned before, I think one of the problems is some people will agree to casual sex or a FWB secretly hoping it will lead to something more. Any type of relationship will not work when people aren't honest about their true expectations and feelings. But as you said, to each their own.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 215
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/6/2017 2:32:34 PM
"give me a bloke who is reliable, easy going, responsible"

>>>not to put you on the defense, but couldn't this fellow have casual sex with a woman? Would it feel less casual is he is reliable and easy going, but still is a serial monogamist? Can't he as well sleep around? Do women believe that only a cad sleeps around, but a good man is just..."enjoying what's out there" or some other excuse for getting about? it sounds like, well, a double standard. Good men get what they deserve, cads are whores who sleep around.
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 216
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if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/6/2017 4:56:24 PM
Over on that other well known but not so well used dating site OKC***d, there's a question asking members how many dates it would take them before having sex, the answers on offer being 1-2; 3-5; and 6 or more. The vast majority tend to answer 3-5. If after jumping into bed on the 3rd date, one or the other or both consider the other person to be sexually incompatible and so departed, would some class this as casual sex? Or as a wise move? Again intention and honesty is paramount from the start, I think.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 217
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/6/2017 5:44:26 PM
to me an issue is that if women engage in casual sex they are labelled ( whore etc) so after the fact easier to say I thought he wanted more
Men want to know there is a spark, when they get spark and depart well
Maybe ppl should start seeing sex as idk sex
Instead, if she doesn't sleep with you..****ease, meal whore, blah blah
Has sex with you
Still labels
Doesn't have sex
even more
If men ( and women) could accept ppl have itches that need scratching
then
more equal
Men here post all the time about " golden vagina" women use their gold and they get shamed
btw, personally I think some women have a lot of partners because well, half the guys they bang are less that stellar
Maybe Men should up their game :)
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 218
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if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/6/2017 8:26:46 PM
GTO:
wonder how much of an affect there is in an individual's ability to connect with other people? Some people can make a friend in just a few minutes, open up to a stranger and make them comfortable enough to share. Perhaps that person feels more comfortable making "Enough" of a connection that casual sex isn't as disconcerning as it is to someone who takes longer to feel connected to new people?
Yup.

South City:
Sometimes casual sex or a FWB relationship can satisfy what a person is interested in at the time. Perhaps they got out of a long term relationship and aren't looking for anything serious. Or they don't have the time or energy to invest in a serious relationship because of other things going on in their life. Or 2 people may like each other. But there is a specific reason they don't want a serious relationship with each other. Such as certain differences in lifestyles or beliefs.
And yup.

I don't get some people who readily bash those who partake in, and enjoy casual sex. To me, that's like bashing a guy 'cuz he likes having sex with men. Everybody has their druthers. Just because one's druthers is they like to have sex within a cozy, committed relationship doesn't mean the rest of the world should abide by that, too...that's just like saying everyone should have hetero sex.

I think part of it is some people loosen up much easier than others, as GTO notes above.....put man/woman, strangers, in a car for a 3 hour trip....one couple may hate it, because both are shy, never loosen up, struggle with conversation, and can't wait til the end of the trip. That couple, if they need sex, have it, but may regret it later. Another couple will par-T!!!....stop and get some beer, get drive through food, laugh and tell stories. That couple would probably have good, guilt free casual sex.
 RenissanceMan68
Joined: 12/3/2016
Msg: 219
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/6/2017 9:17:25 PM

Some people just enjoy having sex -- shouldn't be labeled it they have casual sex as opposed to FORMAL sex.

True. Some people just enjoy getting high om heroin. Enjoying something doesnt mean its always a good thing. You can enjoy sex, but what are you willing to sacrifice to have that enjoyment? Formal sex? What, you mewn not just 'sleeping around' and only sharing it with someone youve invested in, gotten to know, and deel a real connection with that goes beyond physical attraction?
Might be a way to minimize those who get depressed from having 'casual' sex.


Maybe some people that claim to like casual sex or FWB are lying and feel cheap afterwards. But I'm not one of them and there are other people that are like me. As mentioned before, I think one of the problems is some people will agree to casual sex or a FWB secretly hoping it will lead to something more. Any type of relationship will not work when people aren't honest about their true expectations and feelings. But as you said, to each their own.
Sorry, didnt men to say youre one..Im talking I'm general...as in, those who suffer from 'casual sex depression'.

For whatever reason, actions that seem 'whorish' apparently can have a roll on the mental well being of those acting 'whorish'. Seems pretty simple... stop 'whoring'.

I think people often give it up easy to make themselves feel that someone wants them, and ultimately they want to be wanted for more than just a novelty. As I also said, theres gonna be consequences if you put the cart before the horse, and dont get in the business of selling milk of you wanna sell cows.
Know what...and who...youre getting into.


btw, personally I think some women have a lot of partners because well, half the guys they bang are less that stellar
Maybe Men should up their game
I think some women have a lot of partners because they have no self worth and no self esteem. Guys dont wanna turn whores into housewives, and whether you like it or not youre gonna be thought of as a whore if you sleep with a lot of people. The same SHOULD and to some does apply to men. If women go thru a lot of partners because their partners were 'less than stellar', that sounds like another cop out. Maybe she should choose more wisely? And maybe men dont care to give their A game to a woman they dont respect and have no intentions on sticking with, and dont care if they impress her or not,., shes just a cheap motel to crash at before moving on to someone else. Maybe men will up their game when women up their standards.

No ones gonna up nothing...if there is no need to.
Otherwise, its a 'slam, bam, thank you ma'am' scenario for guys, whose theme song is the "Littlest Hobo" intro song hahahaha
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 220
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if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/7/2017 3:11:54 AM


south city... maybe...
but that all sounds like deep dedlections and denials od the real underlying truth. Sex isnt something to be casually shared, and when it is....deep down people know it aint right, its cheap, shallow, a cop out, and a false way to bolster themselves. They think having someone sexually desire them will make them feel better inside, and it doesnt. Truth of the matter is if youre into casual sex or FWB, your moral radar is virtually non existent.



Maybe some people that claim to like casual sex or FWB are lying and feel cheap afterwards. But I'm not one of them and there are other people that are like me. As mentioned before, I think one of the problems is some people will agree to casual sex or a FWB secretly hoping it will lead to something more. Any type of relationship will not work when people aren't honest about their true expectations and feelings. But as you said, to each their own.


I agree, south city. I had a ONS last year, simply because someone I'd been chatting to online declared their horniness and I took up their offer. It was three hours of very good sex, but apart from a few messages more, we never met again. That was disappointing on a sexual level but during our post-coital chats, we quickly discovered that we had differing philosophies in other respects. It didn't depress me. It left me with fond memories. Four years ago, I had a relationship with someone who wanted to wait, and so we did, and we parted without getting that far, although we did everything in between. I was hugely disappointed in that relationship ending, because it meant a lot to me. I wasn't nearly as disappointed that we never got to have full sex.

I've had a couple of FWBs before, who had previously been dating partners. Inevitably it stopped when they found new boyfriends. That didn't disappoint me as much as the fact that they hadn't been upfront about their new men, and had simply stopped communicating as frequently, which demonstrates your thoughts about honesty within relationships, south city.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 221
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/7/2017 5:00:43 AM
er, one can have high self worth and esteem and enjoy casual sex. NOt like being addicted to heroin.
If as an adult you cannot be open about your wants and intentions prolly not having sex is only one thing you should forgo.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 222
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/7/2017 5:45:57 AM
I would need more experience and experimentation in this field before making conclusions. The research would just be for educational purposes.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 4/3/2017
Msg: 223
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/7/2017 8:13:07 AM

I would need more experience and experimentation in this field before making conclusions. The research would just be for educational purposes.


I wonder would the guys that engage in casual sex think less of themselves for having sex with
someone that just wanted sex and really wanted nothing else from the guy?
Does that make the guy a whore or is it just the women that are whores?

Some people like sex, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Doesn't make them bad people.
I think it's worse when you engage in it and then complain about it or worse, complain
about the whores who had sex with you.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 224
if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/7/2017 8:31:32 AM

but that all sounds like deep dedlections and denials od the real underlying truth. Sex isnt something to be casually shared, and when it is....deep down people know it aint right, its cheap, shallow, a cop out, and a false way to bolster themselves


Whoa there Renissaance. How do you KNOW "it aint right, it's cheap, shallow, a cop out??????? Or, how do YOU come to that conclusion???? Remember, what society you have grown up with. And also remember, there are other societies out there that don't have that KNOWLEDGE (or belief) that you have just expressed.



We can do things...doesnt mean we should, and when we do anyways, odten that weight gets carried...for those with morals and a conscience.


You are labelling what consenting adults are doing with "morals" and "conscience" but remember they are YOUR morals and conscience, not theirs. And then, you added "respect" to your comments????? As an adult you have decided "casual" sex isn't your thing. That's your belief. But, it isn't everyone's "truth". You can look down on those that do what you wouldn't, that is YOUR choice. Others will chose differently.

We, here in North America have a skewed belief on this sex thingy. Shiat, we are still working on women breast feeding their children in public. Clothes and what we expect to be "covered". Sexual relationships, in ALL forms. I, personally don't believe our outlook here in North America is actually all that "healthy" mentally. Again, one of the "reasons" depression sets in when you think you just did something "wrong". I don't think having casual sex between any number of consenting adults is "wrong".
 imanorangetiger
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 225
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if casual sex leads to depression, what causes a stroke?
Posted: 4/7/2017 8:50:24 AM
Personally, my morals and conscience wouldn't be troubled by having consensual sex with someone on a casual basis. If our expectations were out of sync and I KNEW that to be the case, that would be a different matter. That might bring up a whole new discussion about what consent entails and how elastic the boundaries are around that concept.
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