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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Smoothchill
Joined: 3/30/2011
Msg: 126
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!Page 6 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Stilettos didn't originate on Nordstrom shoe shelves. Poly Vinyl Chloride didn't make its debut at Wet Seal. Liquid leggings didn't start in a test tube. He's a so-called 'macho' bull in a china shoppe and YOU vehemently protest. I would have had him begging on his knees after he cleaned the house beginning with the bathrooms top to bottom to the bedroom last. These non-starters are as old as the oldest profession to the highest of ideals of the iconoclast. Everyone has their 'own' and when they say they don't they're fibbing the truth much the same way you protested and his 'macho' countenance. You missed an opportunity to gain some life experience which you could have paid forward to someone else and so forth and so on down the line you see.
 Holly63
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 127
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/13/2012 6:26:06 PM

it's more important FOR YOU
to figure out how he done this and had those things in the same home with you, FOR 2 YEARS, and you didn't know.


I understand your question. All I can think of was perhaps he was embarassed as he got older or he knew I wouldnt like it, who knows? The same question can be asked about HIM. Why did he hide it for 18 months from me?

Please refer to my post # 127.....


He told me he'd had this fetish for years and that his previous girlfriends didnt mind at all.

Well, thats okay if his past g/f's didnt mind but I did. He said his ex's knew from the beginning. We were together for 18 months before I found out. Hmmmmm.

Anyway, that wasn't the reason why I left him . Our relationship was pretty much over anyway.


I repeat, this was years ago and I couldn't care less about him. I brought up the topic, not a current situation.


You missed an opportunity to gain some life experience


Oh, no I didnt. I experienced it for 6 months until other factors contributed to the final demise of our relationship.

Thanks fellow forumites for your continued input into my old thread. :)
 Indysweetpea
Joined: 9/10/2012
Msg: 128
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/13/2012 8:30:31 PM
I wonder what the guy I had been seeing would do if I left a little bag at his doorstep of my satin panties or baby doll nightie laced with my favorite perfume? Would he love it and wear it to bed, or smell it and put it under his pillow, or call me a freak and vow to never see me again. lol
 Googleplus
Joined: 8/22/2012
Msg: 129
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/13/2012 9:57:40 PM
Wtf I found man panties, or should I say Manties.


http://www.manties.net/


http://www.freshpair.com/mens/Male-Power.html

Male thongs? wtf lol
 Indysweetpea
Joined: 9/10/2012
Msg: 130
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/13/2012 10:03:08 PM
Manties? Who knew? lol
 !!!!!babyg!!!!!
Joined: 5/1/2009
Msg: 131
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/13/2012 10:34:57 PM
I walked in on my ex husband wearing my underware jacking off. It is a very confusing thing, I didn't understand it untill I lived with a pro dom laady in south fl. A lot of guys like stuff like that, streight guys like to feel vonerable at times its a weird fettish, but very common. A lot of very macho guys like for women to be crazy as hell and do a lot of things to them that would be considerd nasty by the general public. If your not comfertable with it, like me and you, leave. Sexuality will never change. You have to find someone that fits you. Men and women just tell your partner what you want. You would be suprised about what they say, and who knows may have a lot of fun.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 132
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Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/15/2012 2:42:56 PM

Well I would want to know why he had the desire to put on my underwear...I'd wear my boy friends boxers around the house and I don't see anything wronge with that all...


This one comment goes to the very difference between men and women. We (men vs. women) are just wired differently. I craved to see my son's mom wear my clothes. Near as I can figure it is a way women make a statement conferring "ownership" of their mate in an intimate relationship. When a woman wears their man's clothing, boxers, shirts, it is not a sexual statement; unlike when I man dons women's clothing. I think, as a generalization we men understand, internally, the difference and appreciate it when women adopt us by wearing our clothes.

For the record, I look forward to the day when I come home to find "my" woman relaxing in a par of my shorts and one of my shirts. I'll know I've arrived at a place I desire. On the other hand, I'd be a bit uncomfortable if she had an expectation of the obverse.

TK
[one problem, though, I'm not really a boxers kind of guy - TMI?]
 Holly63
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 133
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/15/2012 6:22:28 PM

Because you mentioned it was your dirty underwear he was masturbating in, it makes me wonder if you're revolted by yourself, your own scent, or vaginal discharges (assuming you didn't have skid marks in your pants...)


Huh? Thats disgusting. Dirty as in USED, not soiled. I feel sick.


Would it have been less revolting for you had the nightie fit him better, or are you just trying to create an image to berate him because it makes you feel better if he's seen by others as an object of ridicule?


Neither of the above.
Seen by others? Us? No one knows him and nor do I any more. This was years ago. My thread isn't about HIM , its about the SUBJECT.

Its interesting to see differring opinions on this subject and no one should be ashamed or their opinions.
 Googleplus
Joined: 8/22/2012
Msg: 134
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/15/2012 8:05:33 PM

Huh? Thats disgusting. Dirty as in USED, not soiled. I feel sick.


Don't you go shopping. Feces on the shopping carts researchers found. Do you drink foundation drinks? They found feces there also. It's dirty everywhere.
 beachluvr78
Joined: 8/28/2012
Msg: 135
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/15/2012 8:13:12 PM
Sorry if this has already been said, I did not read all 7 pages of posts...

For the men out there that say they like the feeling of wearing women's panties, have they ever tried wearing a pair of silk boxers? Or some other item of clothing made for a MAN, but made out of silk or other slinky fabric??? If it's really about how it FEELS, then that should suffice.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 136
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Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/16/2012 11:57:41 PM
I had to return after seeing so many replies here. So, here goes:
For Holly:

All I can think of was perhaps he was embarassed as he got older or he knew I wouldnt like it, who knows? The same question can be asked about HIM. Why did he hide it for 18 months from me?

Becaused he knows that if he told you, he'd face a >99% chance of exactly what you did, you dumped him. Crossdressers live with that every day; we have two choices; tell, and never have any dates, or not tell, and eventually get dumped anyway when the cat's out of the bag. It's hard for 'normal' people to understand; but for most of us, we can either live our entire lives alone, or date, with the dismal chance of winding up with someone who will accept us when they do find out. It's easy to say 'tell us first so we can decide whether we want to continue to date you', but when the odds are so great against us, after a while a lot of us just try and hope for the best. As mentioned, no one tells the other person everything about themselves. There's no where for us to go; there are no crossdresser/straight girl bars or websites. Personal ads that mention crossdressing are pretty much ignored by all women. In all the years I've been here, on match, and a few other sites, I've had less than a handful of responses, (o.k., three) none of whom I was anywhere's near compatible with. Am I doomed to spend my life alone? Seems so.

For Jac:

What is it about men having feminine traits that people find dangerous?

It's not that they find us dangerous; for women, it's that its a sexual turn off, and may also make her feel less safe with him, fearing he may not behave like the protective male should (whether that would be the case or not, women often feel that way when around less-than-masculine men who they may worry may behave like scared little girls). For men, another man exhibiting any feminine traits means to him that the guy may also have other feminine behavior, such as being submissive, or being less than aggressive in a battle situation. Historically, men have been the ones to protect their 'tribe'; so having a male who's masculinity is in question would also make other men suspect if he would stand up for his responsibilities in battle.

For Charity:

No, it just means women can get away with wearing certain items of men's clothing w/out having their sexuality questioned usually... Men wearing ladies clothing causes conflict/rejection in the minds of many straight women... It's nothing any woman needs to justify or correct. She's entitled to her preferences....

Yet when a man has his preferences, and finds a particular type of woman a turn off, that's considered 'shallow'.

For Tarnished Knight:

When a woman wears their man's clothing, boxers, shirts, it is not a sexual statement; unlike when I man dons women's clothing.

But it's not always a sexual statement! That's, unfortunately, just what the average person incorrectly believes. Yes, sometimes it is, but again, sometimes it's not. There's not a simple answer here. After all, without the OP's ex BF's opinion, we really don't know what was in his mind when she cought him in her underwear. Would any woman's underwear have done? Or was it because it was hers? We'll never really know.

For Beachluvr:

For the men out there that say they like the feeling of wearing women's panties, have they ever tried wearing a pair of silk boxers?

You'll find a lot of crossdressers who will tell you it's about the feel of the fabric. Perhaps for a few. For most, it's usually the feel of wearing female clothing. But I'm not talking for everyone.
For those of you who are curious. Our own sexual identity, as well as who we feel ourselves to be, is influenced strongly in childhood. I was a normal boy until 6, when someone told me pretty much on a daily basis that god made a mistake and that I was really supposed to be a girl. Over the next 7 years, with that thought continuously reinforced, as well as frequently being dressed in female clothing, the concept 'stuck'. It did not change my sexuality; but the feeling that I'm supposed to be in female clothes, as well as the feeling that I'm supposed to behave as one, never really goes away. The best way I can explain it is, it feels like this: Suppose you're at a formal event. Everyone else is wearing tuxes and for the ladies, gowns. But you're in a bathing suit. Sure, it may be a gender appropriate bathing suit, but you're always going to feel a little uncomfortable, that something's not quite right anyway, even if no one else acts any differently around you. That's the way I feel in male clothing; I always feel that something's just not quite right. And no, I'm not gay, for anyone who is wondering. So, periodically, I wear female clothing. With credit to Eddie Izzard, I'm basically a male 'tomboy'; tomboys are girls who sometimes like to do, and wear, boy things, and no one thinks it's a problem at all, since she doesn't do it all the time. So, I'm a boy who sometimes likes to do, and wear girl things. So, what's the problem? It's not like I do it all the time!
 leonianess
Joined: 9/10/2012
Msg: 137
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/17/2012 6:45:24 PM
You did not overreact. Apparently you still tried to see if it could work. Kudos to you because I just....I....I couldn't....
 Holly63
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 138
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/17/2012 7:15:27 PM
Thankyou, Sometimes-miss, for your detailed insight into this subject, and for sharing your personal story. :)


without the OP's ex BF's opinion, we really don't know what was in his mind when she cought him in her underwear. Would any woman's underwear have done? Or was it because it was hers? We'll never really know.


I guess I'll never really know either what was in his mind. Did he ONLY want mine or any female underwear aswell?

The same questions can be directed at me...was I turned off solely because it was mine? The answer is no. I was turned off regardless. The sight of him in his own little nightie was less than appealing to me.

However, if it makes him and others feel good, thats okay, but just not MY "cup of tea."

Thanks again Sometimes Miss, for your interesting input. xx
 Indysweetpea
Joined: 9/10/2012
Msg: 139
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/18/2012 4:29:41 PM
[Am I doomed to spend my life alone? Seems so.]

Only if you choose that. There are women who would accept this. Think positive thoughts. I know if someone I loved wanted to cross-dress every once in awhile I would have no problem with it and would support him in any way I could.
 loviek
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 140
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Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/18/2012 7:13:30 PM
Based solely on your response, if this feeling or deep desire you have to wear women's clothing on occasion, goes back to early childhood, I would say you need some therapy.
I would NEVER date someone who has this fetish, and its dishonest on a very deep level to withhold this kind of information from someone you are intimate with.
just sayin'
 Lilbitofsugaandspice
Joined: 6/30/2011
Msg: 141
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/18/2012 8:29:05 PM
It is dishonest but if you have had painful rejection in the past, I can see why you would wait to tell someone. It is not something you can really come right out and say without knowing someone well. I think your brave for coming out and disclosing you do this. It is just clothing after all. Your not hurting anyone. I can see where if someone knew your secret it could get out to the wrong people and hurt you in your professional life as well as with friends and family. It would have to be with someone you had complete of trust in. That kind of trust is not built in 1 month.
 fuzzboxguy
Joined: 9/12/2012
Msg: 142
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/19/2012 12:06:18 AM
First off, I wouldnt even DREAM about dating a woman big enough for me to wear her clothes, nor would I be interested in doing so. HOWEVER if a man is turned on by putting your panties, c'est la vie!
At least it aint gay.
And no ones being hurt.
 mcwr
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 143
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/19/2012 6:48:44 AM
I can understand wanting to smell a girl's panties, but wearing them? Not so much..
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/19/2012 7:20:52 AM
Holly my mate found his wife drssed in his suit and he has asked her what else was she wearing of his she had hi swimming trunks on he thought kinky she put on his tie he tought it looked sexy on her they didnt leave t there they both went out dressed ou in suits and they took off the wedding rings they went out to another town to see who could pick up a woman for an experiment she picked one upo before he did guess what this was 30 years ago the woman they picked up lives with them she had children to him his wife had his kids too they all work together has do the kids they build houses
 Rescueranger245
Joined: 4/22/2011
Msg: 145
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 9/19/2012 8:24:07 AM
Well...It does give a whole new meaning to the phrase..."Getting into her pants".

With that said...It wouldn't be so bad if she were in them with me. Do they even make them large enough for two?
 CERVANTES7
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 146
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Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 8/26/2013 8:57:58 AM
so it was a used panty fetish yuck
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 147
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Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 8/26/2013 6:11:06 PM

One day I came home to see him wearing my underwear.


You were seeing a crossdresser. You say it was some years ago. Why is the question coming up now? I discovered the same about my ex, and did not leave. We were together for 10 years and split up for reasons completely unrelated to his affection for women's clothing. I was more pissed that he took half my wardrope out west with him when he left than I was about what he did behind clothes doors - which affected our life together in only minor ways (blinds down and doors locked).
 WeeDeeter
Joined: 7/2/2013
Msg: 148
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 8/26/2013 7:37:36 PM
MY lingerie?? Hell no....get your own!!
I'll not have his nasty skid marks in my beautiful (expensive) things.
Beyond that as the song says, "Whatever gets you through the night...is all right."
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 149
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 8/26/2013 8:24:26 PM
I could understand your reaction, but it could have been a lot worse. It's not like you walked in on him cheating on you. If it bothered you that much, you did the right thing.
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 150
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 8/26/2013 8:25:08 PM
Double post, sorry.
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