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 cathybait
Joined: 11/12/2011
Msg: 101
VegansPage 5 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Pattyocakes-I agree with you 100% but I guess everyone has their own idea when it comes to beliefs but I don`t understand how they can get it mixed up with being cheap and a control freak.
 SpringsDiver
Joined: 7/2/2011
Msg: 102
Vegans
Posted: 4/1/2012 10:14:33 AM

Pattyocakes - Since it was his money that was paying for the meal then his date should of been considerate of his beliefs on the subject.Being a vegan he would believe it is wrong and immoral to consume the flesh of other living creatures,so by asking to pay for meat you are asking him to contribute to what he believes is an immoral act.


Exactly!

To be clear, I am not vegan, but do agree that one should stand by their convictions, and others should be respectful of their beliefs.
 egowitch
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 103
Vegans
Posted: 4/1/2012 11:01:38 AM
My second comment here.

As a long time vegetarian, I've found that most of the men I've dated over the years, have, out of respect for me, not insisted on having meat when we ate together. I did not ask them to do that.

Yet - it's everyone's personal choice.

But for those of you that are here bashing the veggie folks, I have two words for you (if you're not familiar - look it up) , PINK SLIME.

Bon appetite !
 RAMPERBILL
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 104
Vegans
Posted: 4/1/2012 11:12:27 AM
Vegans? Sorry, thought it said Viagra. Press on. Pink slime and all of that. Bon appetite.
 cathybait
Joined: 11/12/2011
Msg: 105
Vegans
Posted: 4/1/2012 1:11:37 PM
dan88anew--Imagion this in reverse. You go on a date with a vegan and tell them that you wont pay for them unless they order meat. Then they order a salad and you start yelling at them for not ordering meat. Sounds even more stupid huh

Its defiantly beyond stupid, what would be the point, than/ cruelty to vegetables
now your talking control freak!
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 106
Vegans
Posted: 4/1/2012 1:20:38 PM
I recall having a business lunch with someone whom I knew was a vegan. I asked her before we ordered if she would be offended/sickened if I ordered a dish made with meat and/or dairy. She said no, and thanked me for asking. if she had said yes, I would have ordered a non-meat dish - I can go without being a carnivore for one meal.

To go without cheese, however...that'd be a toughie...
 SugahPunkin
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 107
Vegans
Posted: 4/1/2012 1:38:34 PM
Why did she go out with him?

I went thru a vegetarian phase for about 5 years. Even now, I dont eat alot of meat but I do eat it maybe twice a week or so now. But Youd be suprised how many meat eaters become offended when you mention that you dont eat meat.
Ive met quite a few vegans that are offended out the yinyang by meat eaters too.

I dont get it. I never once was upset or offended by any of my friends/coworkers etc that ate meat while I didnt. Yet, many of them were mad as hell about it when I didnt. My Boss even specifically ordered only meat filled products for the staff meeting on purpose so I would have to eat it. Childish? yes... but I ate it because for me it wasnt a "religious" or killing of animals protest lifstyle for me... it was no big deal. I did pick around alot of it and it was ok. The meat was great and I wasnt really offended which looking back now probably ticked off my Boss even more.

For me, I eat less meat because of the problems in my family history with heart disease etc.. My mother having died from clogged arteries, after bypass surgery, pace maker etc.. So, for me it wasnt about saving the animals. It was a healthy alternative for me which I often still practice. My cholesterol HDL LDL etc are kept in balance in a healthy alternative way instead of with medications.

But, this thread is odd. Why did you (er, your friend) go out with him and why did you purposely pick a hamburger except to show your Dominance?? Did you, (er your friend) want to show she didnt have to do what he said to the point of a fight?

I dont think you should date him. It sounds like you purposely wanted to offend the man instead of date him. NOT that you have to give up meat but cmon... WHY did you go out with him in the first place?

.... I think you were wrong.... ok... Your friend was wrong,

2 pennies from an X vegan.
 MishaBay
Joined: 7/3/2007
Msg: 108
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History
Vegans
Posted: 4/1/2012 2:23:56 PM
Trust me....there are much deeper control issues here, than meat. I have been a vegetarian for 33 years, and I would never think of telling someone else what to order! I always tell people whether they eat meat or not is their choice and not mine, and it never bothers me for them to eat meat in front of me.

I'm not clear on what the "verbal fight" was about. He said he wouldn't pay for hers if she ordered meat, so is that what the fight was about? She expected him to pay for hers? Or was the fight about the fact that she ordered meat?
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 109
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Vegans
Posted: 4/1/2012 3:30:44 PM
There was no verbal fight. The OP has made up a scenario.

Geesh...people read all types of things into what is FICTION.
 moutainbreeze
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 110
Vegans
Posted: 4/1/2012 5:17:13 PM
Veganism is suicidal behavior. It is about extreme control over self because the body can only get vitamin B-12 from meant or other animal sources (milk/eggs). So a person who is vegan has to impose their will over their own body to an extreme that is abnormal. This is the same sort of behavior shown by people who inflict pain on themselves and injuries and get a sense of control from that.

He wanted to control her as well. This is also the behavior of a classic controlling abuser. If someone refused to pay for my meal if I did not order what they wanted me to eat, I would not sit down to eat with them. If someone starts arguing with me at a meal, I do not eat with them. There are people who like drama and those who refuse to partake of that meal. He is a nutter who wants someone he can abusively control and dictate what they eat and how they live. He is a very dangerous man for any woman to date. Invariably he would begin to insult and demean her friends and family and seek to completely isolate her while imposing a diet on her that affected her ability to reason and think critically (strict veganism).

The scary thing would be if he was actually managed to isolate her remotely and get her in a situation where he had power over her liberty. At that point, a man like that would have no qualms about physically assaulting her until she complied with his demands and expectations. His is the classic behavior pattern of an abuser.
 1womanman33
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 111
Vegans
Posted: 4/1/2012 5:27:00 PM

So this is guy is a Vegan. He asks this lady out that he's known for a while and she's not a Vegan. He warned her that if she orders meat as part of her meal, he will not pay for her lunch. They go out to lunch and she orders a burger. Apparently, that caused a verbal fight between them. What is your opinion on this situation? Should he impose his ways on her?

Whoa!!! If you want someone with like-minded interests/values/dietary habits, you make it clear from the beginning. To me, that's no different than condescension over someone's political or religious beliefs. Guy sounds like a clown. It's one thing to 'not pay for her lunch'. It's another thing altogether to get on her case over eating meat.
 800Megawattz
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 112
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Vegans
Posted: 4/1/2012 5:35:24 PM
My rule of thumb for dating vegans is DON'T. I went on a date with one once and it was a total waste of time and money. She was such a nuisance with the waitress that the people at the next table were annoyed as well.
That aside she was overall strange just something I can't explain.
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 113
Vegans
Posted: 4/1/2012 7:11:50 PM
Sorry, but I don't know much about vegans. I'm a meat-atarian.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 114
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Vegans
Posted: 4/1/2012 7:31:35 PM
He didn't impose his ways on her, he told her his truth. She challenged him on his warning and she lost. Why did she do this instead of respecting his wishes? WTF? Meat can't wait?
That was like a slap in the face, if you ask me. If she didn't want to respect his gig, she should not have accepted the date.
To me, she's the one who is in the wrong.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 116
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Vegans
Posted: 4/1/2012 8:43:08 PM

The scary thing would be if he was actually managed to isolate her remotely and get her in a situation where he had power over her liberty. At that point, a man like that would have no qualms about physically assaulting her until she complied with his demands and expectations. His is the classic behavior pattern of an abuser.


Wow, quite the instant profile...he might have beat her with a piece of celery.
 cathybait
Joined: 11/12/2011
Msg: 117
Vegans
Posted: 4/2/2012 3:19:13 AM
pattyocakes--I agree with you 100%, I was not mocking at all / and poster DameRight has it right on the button, too many people and little repect going on.
 smilingrock
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 118
Vegans
Posted: 4/2/2012 4:06:28 AM
Vegans are like gay people - they are confused about their diet
 IronBelle
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 119
Vegans
Posted: 4/2/2012 4:15:46 AM
If this guy has such strong beliefs then why even ask a meat eater out ? I am not saying ALL Vegans/Vegetarians do this, but my experience with them ( so far ) has been they are the ones who get nasty about the meat eaters and try to dictate ! I am a MAJOR carnivore, and if I went to a lunch or dinner and a Vegan or Vegetarian was sitting there, I would not be rude and go off about the lack of meat on their plate. I also would not ask or worry about offending someone. Not to be rude but grow up. If they are that offended, stay out of a place that serves meat as well. It would be like me walking into a Vegetarian place and ****ing. I just would not do that !!!! I would find something I can enjoy and be done with it. Not start whining or lecturing....

People should be able to eat what they want. But I have seen on several occasions where they are the ones who start the whole preaching thing. It almost reminds me of a cult !

For me, I simply would not agree to even date someone who was a Vegan or Vegetarian for this reason. So why meet up with someone where you know off the bat there will probably be SOME sort of problem? To me it is just avoid the nonsense in the first place. Unless someone could sit there and mind their own business about food.

This falls into like people need to meet/date like people.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 120
Vegans
Posted: 4/2/2012 6:30:53 AM

As I previously stated he believes that consuming the flesh of animals is immoral and wrong.

Then what was he even doing in a restaurant that serves meat? One would think he would boycott any establishment that serves it. Gotta love selective extremists.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 121
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History
Vegans
Posted: 4/2/2012 8:19:09 AM

As I previously stated he believes that consuming the flesh of animals is immoral and wrong.

Then what was he even doing in a restaurant that serves meat? One would think he would boycott any establishment that serves it. Gotta love selective extremists.


Where did the OP state that he guy said the consuming of flesh was immoral or wrong.? It wasn't even her date. How do you know what some anonymous third party in a secenario coinsiders immoral?

I don't smoke but I've bought merchandise in a store that sells cigarettes...so I shouldn't be in thast store to buy a bag of oranges?
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 122
Vegans
Posted: 4/2/2012 11:47:30 AM
With respect to only my quote above:

Then what was he even doing in a restaurant that serves meat? One would think he would boycott any establishment that serves it. Gotta love selective extremists.

If a person is going to go to the extreme to tell their date that they'll pay for a meal if it has no meat content but will if it doesn't, that person's beliefs are extremely strong. If the person is going to go to that length, what are they doing in a restaurant that cooks meals with meats? Using the same rationale that he's trying to pull off with his date, he shouldn't pay the restaurant for his meal either because they cook meat there. As I said, selective extremist - only attempting to force his belief system down someone else's throat when he thinks he can get away with it or when it suits his purpose in the moment.

As far as you not buying anything else from a store that sells cigarettes, if you were an extremist about it as the fellow in the OP appears to be about meat only where his date is concerned, yes, then I'd say you were a hypocrite as well and that if your beliefs were that strong, you should boycott the store. With these sort of people who are extremists, they only seem to be when it suits them. Do it all in or don't - put up or shut up and don't attempt to force someone to bend to your beliefs in a controlling manner. Hang out with only people who share your set of beliefs if it is that offensive to your sensibilities.

It reminds me of all kinds of extremists who attempt to tell others what they can and can't do. An example would be a health nut who gets their panties in a twist about someone smoking outside in a park well away from them because "we have to breathe the same air dontcha know." This is a law attempting to get passed in my neck of the woods - and yet these same people think nothing of jogging for their health along roadways where vehicles are zooming by as they suck back exhaust fumes deep into their lungs that are being over-exerted. Selective extremists.


We live in a world which contains people of many differeing views and beliefs.I don't even know of any restaurants that serve no meat,so avoiding all restaurants that serve no meat leaves you with no selection at all.We have to be tolerant of others morals and values even when we don't agree.I don't believe in eating pork,but I will not avoid places that serve it or people that eat it.It's a religious belief,but I fully recognize that many others do not share my views. I don't believe in abortion,but I will not boycott doctors and nurses who participate in them.


Exactly the point - you're not an extremist forcing your views on others. Be as extreme as you wish about matters that affect you personally - don't attempt to push your preference or extremes of your own personal preference on others. In the case of the OP, if the guy was that extreme in his view of meat eaters and couldn't find a restaurant that caters to his personal tastes, stay home and cook or be tolerant of those who don't share your belief.

Now, if the female date was attempting to tell him that he should still pay for her meal when he gave his conditions at the outset and that's what caused the argument, then she's as much of an idiot as he is.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 123
Vegans
Posted: 4/2/2012 2:29:21 PM

Maybe they had an excellent salad bar... I don't eat peanuts but I won't boycott a place for selling them....

...and you likely don't tell other people not to eat them just because your preference is not to. You're not an extremist. This guy is apparently wanting to appear as though he is one and yet he seems to be able to tolerate everyone else in the restaurant chowing down on meat, but someone sitting across the table in the same establishment is pin pointed as being the only one he can attempt to control, in the guise of "compromise"? If it disgusts him, why does it only disgust him for one individual in the same proximity as other patrons in the establishment? Should he not be equally as disgusted every time a wait person walks by with a meal for someone else in the restaurant? Shouldn't the smell of cooking flesh in said restaurant disgust him as well? Why go to such a place if you're willing to compromise for everyone else there but not your date? Maybe in the end it wasn't so much about what she was eating but the added cost to him for a meal that would include meat and that's his M.O. for a cheaper date.


I agree...
It's like a former alcoholic asking his date to not drink in front of him, but she goes ahead and does it anyway....

Hardly the same thing. I doubt he'd wind up being tempted to binge on meat just because she was eating it in front of him. A recovering alcoholic wouldn't (or shouldn't) go to a bar where everyone else was drinking in front of him if it was an extreme issue for him.
 m8t
Joined: 3/20/2012
Msg: 124
Vegans
Posted: 4/2/2012 2:39:12 PM
Maybe it wont last~
I wasnt eating a vegan diet because I dont like steak.
I was doing it to lose weight. Compromise isnt always about what we want,
but what others do too. So he likes my big butt. Power to the man.
I have lost enough weight to be healthier and keep him happy too.
 cathybait
Joined: 11/12/2011
Msg: 125
Vegans
Posted: 4/2/2012 2:44:17 PM
m_church--I pretty much agree with everything you said except for the fact maybe he was being considerate for his date by taking her to a restaurant that has meat as well. So in saying so everyone else saying he's a control freak ? and there are just vegan restaurants, I live in a very small city and just recently one opened up, I haven't been there but my daughter has.

This OP is a set up from the get go very last sentence she states that "should he imposed his ways on her" when indeed he did no such thing to begin with, it's like mix signals, but than again I find a lot of people on these forums like to bash other people, it's sad/ here's one of my favorite songs that suits these types of post "Where Is The Love from Black Eyed Peas and I use to say I don't like rap but hey they have some good songs too.

So this is guy is a Vegan. He asks this lady out that he's known for a while and she's not a Vegan. He warned her that if she orders meat as part of her meal, he will not pay for her lunch. They go out to lunch and she orders a burger. Apparently, that caused a verbal fight between them. What is your opinion on this situation? Should he impose his ways on her?
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