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 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 72
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Who is in the wrong? re Cat Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
You are putting the cat in harm's way, which disgusts me to no end, he could do anything or might already be doing abusive things to this poor cat who is unable to make sense of it or keep it's self safe. So when you let it in, you are giving him access to a defenseless animal. And yeah it could scratch the prigs eyes out but he'd only attack it worse. So take the poor thing to a shelter where he can no longer get to it and have no animals or children around for him to get at. You are an adult and you can use that poor pitiful me crap if you want but you have the responsibility of keeping innocent things from the reach of this POS you call your boyfriend.

As for therapy, any income level can get therapy, it's based on your ability to pay. Check around and find one in your area that has a sliding scale pay and contact them, or keep using that excuse that nothing is your fault and everyone uses you. Drama
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 77
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Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 12:42:03 PM

You're right, I do need therapy but I cannot afford it.


Sorry OP, but I am just not buying your poor me act. You come in here, start threads, admit that you need to deal with this, but still continue to see a guy that is clearly emotionally screwing with you, tells me that you arent serious. You dont need therapy to tell this guy to hit the bricks, you can do that all by yourself, but I am guessing that is too hard right? Guess what therapy is hard too. If you cant even muster up enough self respect to lose this clown, therapy isnt going to magically make these things happen, you still have to make these things happen. So until you are ready to take some responsibility to why you are doing things that are clearly not in your own best interest, therapy will be a waste of time, mainly for the therapist.
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 78
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Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 1:12:18 PM
I think it is very sad when an attractive woman in her 40's that has a job and owns her own place, takes crap from a guy that lives with his parents.


Before we broke up, the routine was that he would go to his mum and dad's after work, make his packed lunch for the following day, have a bath and then come to mine where he would stay the night. He has two kids and when they stay over they have to sleep in a bed together at his mum's house as there is no room.
He didn't want to pay me anything towards the bills because he said he wasn't actually living there, didn't have his washing done at mine and wasn't using anything extra that I wouldn't have used myself. He also said that after losing a lot with his ex he didn't want to be paying my mortgage and ending up with nothing.
So I suggested that if he was serious about us we should save for somewhere to rent together, because he would complain that my flat was far too small for him to move into. At first he wouldn't commit and said he would only give me some money for savings if he won on the horses because he didn't have the spare cash. Then I manage to get him to set up a joint savings account and we saved nearly £800 before we split up. When we split up he demanded his half of the savings, which I gave him and he spent it all on a laptop.


Oh. My. GOD. If I was involved with someone like that, I'd suck on a barrel. WTF are you thinking?


He has also suggested (as he has given up smoking weed for her) that she should give up her cat for him.

That pretty big of him, giving up drugs so you can have no cat.
Maybe that's why I'm single. I need to be an animal-hating, weed smoking, homeless jerkwad.
 bmore_goat
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 82
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Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 1:51:55 PM

Trust me, I've been there. A few years ago a man I was dating for a short period of time threatened to come over and kill my cats. I sat down on my couch, shook my head and said to myself "Really??" Does this guy REALLY think he's scaring me by threatening my animals??" You've got to be kidding me!! LOL I calmly cleaned and loaded my gun, called him on his cell phone and graciously invited him over to my place to do the deed but I made it crystal clear to him that he would have to go through me first before he ever got to my cats and it wouldn't be pretty sight and not in his favor at all. He never showed and I've not seen nor heard from him since.



That is the most awesome thing I've read here!
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 83
Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 1:56:04 PM
yes, Sea, U rock- I am up to 6 now, I think that's it for now...but if anyone ever said bad stuff about my cats, they'd find themself FACE DOWN in a box of kitty litter- after my Tuxedo cat did his stinky poop!
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 86
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Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 2:13:23 PM
Regardless of all the other past, possible, or potential drama in the OP's history or not, you can tell a lot about a person's character by the way they treat animals/pets. If they're douchebaggery enough to be jealous of and abusive to an innocent animal, then they'll be jealous of and abusive to people sooner or later.
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 87
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Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 2:13:36 PM
Double post, sorry about that. It just sat there when I clicked the first time, so I clicked again. Have a great weekend! :)
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 90
Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 5:15:42 PM
I'm gonna weigh in on the side of the stray cat.
(of course/LOL)

Taking in a stray cat is good karma.
So is ditching control freaks.
 greenIsis777
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 91
Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 5:24:20 PM
there's something abnormal in this relationship - some possessiveness/jealousy issues to be sure. and the cat thing is a mild event. I love cats and have always had one as a pet, the last one I had my ex and I got together at the spca. after getting him home and over time, the cat gravitated more to him than to me (and I'm the one who loves cats!) now I certainly didn't react in such an immature and questionable way toward my ex or the cat. there are deeper issues here that are going to become more obvious over time and in different situations. any relationship expert would tell you, it's not about the cat.
 Tristle
Joined: 9/11/2010
Msg: 92
Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 5:33:54 PM
yeah, I see more control issues and insecurity in this on his part than anything. a big red flag on a future with this fellow imo.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 93
Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 5:45:40 PM

Taking in a stray cat is good karma.
so do me & seakytten win the lottery?
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 94
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Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 5:46:12 PM
Your boyfriend is jealous of a cat and makes remarks like you're in a sexual relationship with it? Keep the cat and dump the boyfriend.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 97
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Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 6:32:13 PM
This isn't about a cat at all, if you ask me. The issues are jealousy,control, self esteem & a seeming fear of being alone. Therapy is indicated, pet or no pet. Thank God it isn't a child!
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 99
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Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 6:42:08 PM
Absolutely agreed, sassy.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 103
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Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 7:39:21 PM

Id never even attempy to date a cat-lover.....theyre unsocialable beings


I love cats, dogs, and children, and I am far from unsociable. Horribly judgemental of you, and definitely an indication that you may need to change your screen name. Just sayin'.....
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 105
Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 8:14:43 PM
What a controlling Shady punkass. OP I'd be kicking him out and letting the cat in. Animals can detect an ***hole when they see one. And even the movements that this man is doing to you and the cat is enough writing on the wall. You need to Slam Dump his ass
 OSGF
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 106
Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 8:21:50 PM

You're right, I do need therapy but I cannot afford it

Then you shouldn't be dating anyone until you fix yourself. Dump the boyfriend, stay single, save your money, then get some therapy. There is no reason for anyone to live a life they feel is worthless. No one should live feeling unlovable and unworthy. Go get your sh1t fixed. In the meantime, read some self help books.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 107
Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 8:41:20 PM
OP
Based on some of the commentary in this thread regarding other threads you've created -I really think that your # 1 priority is to reduce the amount of distractions in your life( like headf*cked bfs and wondering about dating a guy from work) and concentrate on finding a way to get the therapy you need before your dramas get you into real danger.

Keep the cat-lose this d*ckheaded freeloading control freak impersonating a man-and get your own head on straight before you do anything else. You are on a collision course with disaster.
Cindy O
 Padawan61
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 108
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Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 9:20:43 PM
But I seriously feel as though I am a pervert for loving a cat as my boyfriend is always making me feel so abnormal

I feel like as though I am some kind of freak or something for loving my pet

You sure have issues with guys ... don't you, OP?? The last one bailed on you and called you a freak for "clit sticking to leg". Now this dude is making you feel abnormal and freakish because of some cat. What's next?? Methinks your boyfriend has a problem with pussy versus pussy.

But I work full-time and I think the cat just wants to sit on my lap in the evenings for the company after being on its own all day

Or the cat may want to sit on your lap for another reason ... if you know what I mean.

The cat loves you. He does not

The cat doesn't love the OP. She's just a meal ticket. Remember the cat was a stray ... but now has meals and a bed served up for free ... not to mention cosiness of the OP's lap.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 112
Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/30/2012 9:54:25 PM
I'd ditch the boyfriend and keep the cat... at least he's not jealous of the BF and affectionate.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 118
Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/31/2012 10:42:05 AM

one of the signs of sociopathic behaviour is cruelty to animals
this is also how SERIAL KILLERS start out.
run, bambi, run...don't give us blondes a bad name!
 friendshipcomesfirst
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 119
Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/31/2012 12:12:57 PM
Ummm... Don't ever give that man a baby... if he considers the cat competition for you affection, he'll be terrible to the kid.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 120
Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/31/2012 9:12:42 PM

Id never even attempy to date a cat-lover.....theyre unsocialable beings.

This thread turned into a manifesto for cat lovers....geeeeeeeesh


I would never date a cat hater: they are grumpy old farts who judge people before meeting them.

My new boyfriend came to my house yesterday for the first time and the first thing he did was greet my cats. He even got down on the floor to play with them. Funny how this unsociable female cat lover can even manage to attract a man. Oh, wait! He judged me by my sparkling personality, intelligence, and good-looks rather than the fact that I live with cats.

As for being unsociable, I guess I need to cancel the lunch date with a friend for next week, and HOW did I manage to leave the house last week for dinner with other friends? When I go to class on Tuesday, I will wear a frown and every time someone speaks to me, I will say, "I love cats--get away from me."

(Gwen rolls her eyes.)
 Krissie59
Joined: 10/15/2010
Msg: 121
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Who is in the wrong? re Cat
Posted: 3/31/2012 9:31:46 PM
Your intuition is right on the money. Keep the cat, get rid of the boyfriend. If you don't do that, you'll have to ditch everything that u care about the rest of your life, to appease him. He's, at minimum, a control freak. At maximum, some awful personality disorder.
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