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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Being stood up      Home login  
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 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 115
Being stood upPage 8 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Stood up today for lunch.

We confirmed details last night and he told me he had been to the place before and was looking forward to meeting me.
Friendly, cheap and cheerful café overlooking a marina.

So I had my coffee then a grilled barramundi (Aussie fish- delicious) and salad lunch solo.
As above no answer, no show and no message.

Did talk to a few dogs.
Probably a more interesting conversation anyway.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 117
Being stood up
Posted: 5/3/2014 10:37:20 PM
I got stood up last night. Oh well, I'm not sweating it. I had my doubts about that one anyways and was kind of tired, so I spend a great night with my kids instead. If the weather had been nicer, I might have made a night out on my own out of it. Anyway, I blocked the guy and won't ever talk to him again. Next.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 118
Being stood up
Posted: 5/4/2014 1:16:36 PM
Karma... Even though as you say you had your doubts....
I had my doubts about mine as well, just as I have my doubts about my next M&G.

But as these forums often say.....

Nothing is real until you meet.
So we have lost nothing, other than a little time.
Probably less time than if we had kept typing and conversing and not tried to meet.

One day hopefully we will be very pleasantly surprised.
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 119
Being stood up
Posted: 5/4/2014 2:09:26 PM
I got stood up tonight for a dinner date. We did have the 1st meet last week, agreed to go out again. We talked on the phone and text during the week and were supposed to go to dinner tonight. Poof! No call, no text, nothing. He disappeared into a cloud of smoke. The funny thing is, he lives locally and goes to the same gym as I do. How should I handle it when/if I run into him? Uuuggghh
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 120
Being stood up
Posted: 5/4/2014 2:34:48 PM

irishgirl772:
I got stood up tonight for a dinner date. We did have the 1st meet last week, agreed to go out again. We talked on the phone and text during the week and were supposed to go to dinner tonight. Poof! No call, no text, nothing. He disappeared into a cloud of smoke. The funny thing is, he lives locally and goes to the same gym as I do. How should I handle it when/if I run into him? Uuuggghh


Was the time/place of your dinner date established, already? Were you providing your own transportation? Did you show up at the location, or did you not go because he didn't call one last time? If you didn't go, could he be telling his friends he got stood up? Did you try calling or texting him?
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 3/22/2014
Msg: 121
Being stood up
Posted: 5/4/2014 3:19:47 PM

I got stood up tonight for a dinner date. We did have the 1st meet last week, agreed to go out again. We talked on the phone and text during the week and were supposed to go to dinner tonight. Poof! No call, no text, nothing. He disappeared into a cloud of smoke. The funny thing is, he lives locally and goes to the same gym as I do. How should I handle it when/if I run into him? Uuuggghh


^^^^Totally sucks! :( Especially after having a 1st meet/date. Maybe something happened? Hopefully, you will find out what happened. If you still hear nothing and see him at the gym, if he is not trying to hide or run from you, I think it's perfectly fine to approach him, and say "WTF?" ok......no, let me rephrase that, "Hey, so what happened the other night" and see what he says....?
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 122
Being stood up
Posted: 5/4/2014 5:52:26 PM
^^^^^^^^^ +1

While I didn't read the entire thread.....my editorial comment on this subject is it never ceases to amaze me of the immaturity and highschool B.S games that are STILL played by so many out here.....

although we ARE supposedly adults.....

and past 40 at that!

Just goes to show that not too much has changed and that people's attention spans are so short......

but that is a whole other kettle of worms.......
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 123
Being stood up
Posted: 5/5/2014 5:14:36 PM
^^^Harmony, I know what happened! He decided he wasnt interested lol..Im sure I will see him at the gym at some point and will have no problem treating him like I dont know him.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 124
Being stood up
Posted: 5/5/2014 6:05:16 PM

How should I handle it when/if I run into him? Uuuggghh


"Accidentally" kicking him in the shin should do the trick.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 125
Being stood up
Posted: 5/5/2014 8:53:56 PM
I've been stood-up and I have stood women up. Usually, it's just someone way too into themselves to bother having any consideration for other human beings. Sometimes, it's a quirky twist of fate and once in a while, it's fear. The quick, "so are we still on for tonight" is a brilliant way to go.

The one woman I actually stood up was devastatingly beautiful, smart and talented. On the day we were planning to meet, it was raining cats and dogs outside. I figured she was just going to stand me up anyway so I stayed in the nice warm pub and didn't give it another thought. When I found out that she not only stood in the rain waiting for me but that I would never again get a second chance, I sure felt like an idiot.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 126
Being stood up
Posted: 5/6/2014 2:23:18 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^

What a cruel and horrible thing to do.


The one woman I actually stood up was devastatingly beautiful, smart and talented. On the day we were planning to meet, it was raining cats and dogs outside. I figured she was just going to stand me up anyway so I stayed in the nice warm pub and didn't give it another thought. When I found out that she not only stood in the rain waiting for me but that I would never again get a second chance, I sure felt like an idiot.


Quite right.

No second chance.
A phone call is all it required.

So you admit you are

someone way too into themselves to bother having any consideration for other human beings


Sounds like she dodged a bullet.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 127
Being stood up
Posted: 5/6/2014 2:59:12 AM

Quite right.
No second chance.
A phone call is all it required.

So you admit you are

someone way too into themselves to bother having any consideration for other human beings
Sounds like she dodged a bullet.


And this is an example why telling the truth is so rare in modern society. We tolerate obvious lies but more harshly punish the truth.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 128
Being stood up
Posted: 5/8/2014 2:03:08 PM
If you choose to make plans that hinge on another person showing up (especially one you don't know that well), you will always run the risk of being stood up - and ending up there alone could ruin your night.

If you're OK with going somewhere solo and you ask someone to join you, your plans aren't really ruined if they don't show, they are simply enhanced if they do (or not if they are lousy company, sometimes a no show is a blessing).

Neither is right or wrong - they are both mindsets that will cause different results.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 129
Being stood up
Posted: 5/8/2014 2:07:21 PM
I'm with womaninprogress. Usually I pick out the venue, so it's somewhere I'm not only familiar with, but if I happened to be out, and he doesn't show up, I know places to go close by. Or just stay there and talk to someone else.

As of yet it hasn't happened.....but it wouldn't jerk my chain if it did.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 130
Being stood up
Posted: 5/8/2014 3:50:43 PM
ozsealady, if you're looking for a sparring partner, I'm afraid you're barking up the wrong tree.

I would actually include my story in the fear example which is one of the other alternatives I offered. In my situation, it wasn't about me blowing her off, deeming her unworthy, having something better to do, boredom, laziness or anything like that. She was remarkable and I very much wanted to date her. It was my fear that she wouldn't bother to show up herself given the terrible weather, that convinced me not to bother. My self-esteem was such that I barely expected her show up under ideal circumstances. This was also back before every human being was wired into the internet constantly.

Most importantly, I'm not trying to excuse my behaviour. That was a shitty thing to do. I paid the price and learned a valuable lesson. Then I chose to share it here, seeing as how this is a conversation about being stood up and all.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 3/22/2014
Msg: 131
Being stood up
Posted: 5/9/2014 7:41:46 PM

Harmony, I know what happened! He decided he wasnt interested lol..Im sure I will see him at the gym at some point and will have no problem treating him like I dont know him.


Irishgirl: Curious if you ran into the stooder-upper at the gym? and if you did, what did you do?


Hopefully you won't see any "clingons."


No, I didn't and yes, that was funny.

Being stood up is just whacked!
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 132
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History
Being stood up
Posted: 5/10/2014 12:01:43 PM
As much as many people text and hang on to their phone, how hard is it to text or call and say, "can't make it"?????

I have never stood anyone up, because I have always taken the time to call them and let them know most times hours or days before the date, that I can not make it, and let's reschedule. If they are upset with me, then they need not reply, and if they are still interested, we will reschedule and I will more than make it up to them!!

There is no reason why open communication should not exist when trying to be social with others, and I see it as very offensive to not even care or think about me enough to let me know. Now, being stood up is one thing offensive, but how about those that have nothing to do, and show up at your door because they were hoping you would enjoy them thinking about you and doing something about it?? Or.....those that are last minute and will call and ask you to go out for a drink and meet them. Much of this could be flattering but also presuming that you have nothing to do either, or nothing planned, or even worse, not with someone already that evening.....oh well.....life and living in the mixed up world of dating and getting to know others.

cd
 FunAndCoolGirl
Joined: 8/14/2012
Msg: 133
view profile
History
Being stood up
Posted: 5/10/2014 1:03:53 PM
I've been stood up. Thing about it is, even if you were the one to pick the place, and it's a place you like, etc., you not only feel like a fool, but you've spent all that time and energy into anticipation, choosing just the right thing to wear, excitement. Only to sit there and wait....and wait.

I've also had great phone conversations with follow-up plans, where we agree on a day to meet, and the guy says he'll follow up with a phone call or text as to the venue, but that doesn't come either.

There is no excuse. A text takes 5 seconds. And yes, I've texted to ask if we are still on, or where the guy is, with no response.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 134
Being stood up
Posted: 5/10/2014 4:34:24 PM
"There is no excuse. A text takes 5 seconds. And yes, I've texted to ask if we are still on, or where the guy is, with no response."

Absolutely, there's also no REASON! I tend to use the word reason if there's something legit and excuse when I think someone's pulling my leg.........giving me a load of BS. Standing someone up is selfish and inconsiderate, it's so sad that it happens so often. I only had one such story, and I really wasn't stood up.....he had BEEN there, however, while I was waiting (at a bar at Applebees) I was having a friendly chat with a gentlemen who sat next to me....and the bartender. It was all just friendly chat (although the older gentlemen was quite charming and asked me out I wish I would have given him my number...darn it!). Anyway, this guy who drove 2 hours (at HIS insistence) told me the exact time I pulled into the parking lot, what I was wearing. Apparently, since I was (God forbid!) actually making conversation with another human being) he sat a table for awhile when we had agreed to meet at the bar - specifically! Anyway I had a great time, and was really creeped out that this guy I was supposed to meet didn't even approach me. What a weirdo!

That's the closest I've had to a "got stood up" story. Needless to say it worked out for the best for me anyway. So take heart, maybe the person who stood you up was a complete weirdo!!
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 135
Being stood up
Posted: 5/10/2014 10:13:47 PM
No one has ever stood me up, but I suppose you could say I stood someone up once.

It was about 11 PM, and I got a call from a woman, it was a wrong number.

I started to chat with her, then started to flirt, and it started to get hot and heavy, and nearly an hour went by like that.

She invited me over to her house, it was about midnight. I drove over to the address, the house was all dark with drapes that were open. Caller ID didn't exist at the time, I didn't have her number, didn't really know who this was and no one knew I was going over there. It all seemed forbidding somehow.

So I elected to go back home. Never heard for her, and I don't know if I missed a wild night of passion or missed getting mugged. I am all for going with the flow, up to a point, and that was the point where it was all a little too surreal.
 jal3840
Joined: 4/3/2013
Msg: 138
view profile
History
Being stood up
Posted: 6/18/2014 6:11:51 PM
I always make it a point to talk on the day the date just to make sure everything still good
 Sahasrara
Joined: 10/7/2011
Msg: 140
Being stood up
Posted: 8/9/2014 8:52:04 AM
I've been stood up a couple times over the years and it definitely sucks.
Nowadays I'm much more picky and demanding. I want to talk on the phone a long time first, to get a good feel for her character. If there's anything fishy or flaky about her.. I probably won't agree to meet.

And there were times we hit it off so well on the phone, we decided to dine in at my place instead. Pizza, drinks, a movie, then off for a roll in the hay. Of course by doing that you run the risk your date now knows where you live.. someone you barely know, but when it gets to be a problem I just turn loose the hounds.

I'm sure some women will read this and think what a cheap, lazy, lame date I am. And they'd be right about that, to a certain extent. In my old age I am. However, so long as other women are perfectly comfy with the arrangement, those are the women I'll choose. Besides, that's only the first date I'm talking about. If we click, many fun nights out on the town are sure to follow.
 Sahasrara
Joined: 10/7/2011
Msg: 141
Being stood up
Posted: 8/9/2014 12:12:01 PM
@ TheWayYouWere: You're assuming my date and I care if we're LTR compatible or not. Often we don't. My dating standards are simple. When the doorbell rings, I peek through the peephole and say "Password please". If she says "Extra Anchovies ", I will open the door. ;)
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 142
Being stood up
Posted: 8/13/2014 5:25:08 AM
If you make plans in a way where you do something you'd do alone anyway - the other person becomes optional. If they don't show they don't ruin your day/night. Don't plan the meet/date around the presence of the other person and it'll be less upsetting if they don't show.

Of course by doing that you run the risk your date now knows where you live.. someone you barely know

Yeah that's a big risk. I like to wait at least a month until I know they're safe with that information.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 143
Being stood up
Posted: 9/16/2014 8:33:49 PM
It can be that the person saw you first and was not impressed. It seems to be a common occurrence unfortunately with online dating that people dont show.

They may just be flakes, not who they say they are and I think you have lost nothing. I dont know if you have seen an image and spoken on the phone already but I wouldnt wait any more than the half hour that you did. I dont blame you for being angry
and I would have texted to ask if they were coming. In fact I would be sending a message to ask if they are okay. See what response or not that you get.
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