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 NoCretinZone
Joined: 4/12/2012
Msg: 73
paying child support for non-biological childrenPage 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
A DNA test won't matter, the courts will look at the incomes of both fathers, and your boy friend will have to make up the difference on the tables if he is the higher income, or the bio father will. Either way in Canada, after a year of living and acting as a parent, he would be financially responsible. Since he already pays more then he needs to for his other child, it shouldn't be any trouble to pay what he should for both of his children. So now that he isn't biologically her father he doesn't want to be her father? A father supports his children, end of story. And If she is always included in all family gatherings, then she will see that her mother is not telling the truth about him disowning her, legally if it goes to court he will have to pay, and a judge won't think to highly of a father who tries to get out of his financial responsibility to his child. You can waste time and money trying to mess up this girl more than her mother already has with this whole issue, or your boyfriend can man up, check the tables for your province to see what he has to pay for two children based on his income, and pay it.
 cariboolady1
Joined: 3/22/2012
Msg: 74
paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 5/12/2012 9:37:24 PM
Yes. A father supports his children. There are lots that are allowed to skip out and make others pay up instead. Even making ST boyfriends who were temporarily in the picture to pay up.

It's got to do with common sense...and going back to square one. If the bio dad is made to "man-up" in the first place, never mind what "mommy" wants, alot of this would be redundant.
If mommy "chooses" to have her baby and bio-dad wanted to have an abortion, tough luck, bio dad! You should have made sure you were protected when you wanted in her pants! Now, you have a responsibility. As, what another poster said. "Man-up!!"
As for the "mommy" who doesn't go after bio daddy for CS because she chose to have the baby when he didn't want it, but decides to go after a short term b/f who was nice to her child, then, SHAME on you! This kind of thing has to stop.

This mother who is the mother of my son's girls has a history of Short Term relationships and in each she is always looking for a new "baby daddy". (She has unresolved issues from childhood. It was basically a horror story.)
I have heard that this (looking for a new baby daddy) is quite common and I actually witnessed it for real. Just go to Family Court for 1 whole day. It blows the mind what does go on as far as "who's who in the zoo" with regards to "Who's the Daddy of the Month?"!!!
What is worse is that the Welfare social worker will get a court order done up for the "flavour of the month" to pay CS even if he's only been with her for six months to a year! I saw this!
If the courts keep up what they are doing, with some of these women's track records, she will be getting support from at least 10 men by the time her child is twenty!

My son didn't have to take on the responsibilty of the non-bio child and be her father. He could've walked away....like so many BIO dads do, but he chose not to. It upsets him that her real dad has willingly stepped out of the picture. How could a father do this?
As for EVER walking away from his bio daughter, he would put himself through torture (hell and back) before he would ever consider letting another man be her dad.
He spends quality AND quantity time with them and spends a goodly amount of money on food, clothing and extras for them. They want for nothing and absolutely adore him.
That is a man. A very responsible man.
How many bio dads do that? How many ST non-bio temporary father figures who come and go have done this?

Such a sad situation today, the family unit is just about dead in the water. Going to Family Court for one day was witnessing so many tragic circumstances. I don't know how many times the judge would ask "Who's in the picture right now?"

My son's only beef? Only on principle, mind you. Was having a court order/demand that he pay CS for a non bio child for almost twenty years when he was only with the mother for 2 years total. Especially when the mother didn't want the child to know that she had a real bio dad living right under her nose and he was willing to pay CS....and SHE refused it.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 75
paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 5/12/2012 10:13:00 PM

A DNA test won't matter, the courts will look at the incomes of both fathers, and your boy friend will have to make up the difference on the tables if he is the higher income


says who?
 Blackout478
Joined: 5/1/2011
Msg: 76
paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 5/26/2012 11:21:26 AM
I been in a situation like this and I was listed as father on birth certificate, ended up as not my child so I didn't have to continue paying child support.
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 77
paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 5/26/2012 10:25:48 PM

mommy "chooses" to have her baby and bio-dad wanted to have an abortion, tough luck, bio dad! You should have made sure you were protected when you wanted in her pants! Now, you have a responsibility. As, what another poster said. "Man-up!!"
As for the "mommy" who doesn't go after bio daddy for CS because she chose to have the baby when he didn't want it, but decides to go after a short


Why is MOMMY in quotes? Are you suggesting that the women you speak of, are not "real mommies? Are they faux mommies?


f mommy "chooses" to have her baby and bio-dad wanted to have an abortion, tough luck, bio dad! You should have made sure you were protected when you wanted in her pants! Now, you have a responsibility. As, what another poster said. "Man-up!!"


Shame on those awful, terrible women for owing uterus's, & thus having reproductive choices.


This mother who is the mother of my son's girls has a history of Short Term relationships and in each she is always looking for a new "baby daddy". (She has unresolved issues from childhood. It was basically a horror story.)
I have heard that this (looking for a new baby daddy) is quite common and I actually witnessed it for real. Just go to Family Court for 1 whole day. It blows the mind what does go on as far as "who's who in the zoo" with regards to "Who's the Daddy of the Month?"!!!
What is worse is that the Welfare social worker will get a court order done up for the "flavour of the month" to pay CS even if he's only been with her for six months to a year! I saw this!
If the courts keep up what they are doing, with some of these women's track records, she will be getting support from at least 10 men by the time her child is twenty!


Well, your darling son DID choose to sleep with & be in relations with this woman. Soooo,,,,,,yeah.......lol.
The way you go off on the woman was your sons choice & that he loved, suggests you may have some unresolved issues.


My son didn't have to take on the responsibilty of the non-bio child and be her father. He could've walked away....like so many BIO dads do, but he chose not to. It upsets him that her real dad has willingly stepped out of the picture. How could a father do this?
As for EVER walking away from his bio daughter, he would put himself through torture (hell and back) before he would ever consider letting another man be her dad.
He spends quality AND quantity time with them and spends a goodly amount of money on food, clothing and extras for them. They want for nothing and absolutely adore him.
That is a man. A very responsible man.
How many bio dads do that? How many ST non-bio temporary father figures who come and go have done this?


If he CHOSE to be a father to the girl, why does he need pats on the back for doing what parents do? he chose to be a parent, even if hot biologically, it was his choice. You dont get applause for doing for your kids. it is what a normal, loving parent does, weather biological or adopted out of love.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 78
view profile
History
paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 5/26/2012 10:55:50 PM

If he CHOSE to be a father to the girl, why does he need pats on the back for doing what parents do?

Probably because he has zero obligations to that child one way or the other. He's doing something quite charitable, and it can possibly have a butterfly effect depending on how well he does contributing to the raising of that child. Some of us can see past our own noses and acknowledge that it's not the same as when the child belongs to you. I've yet to meet a step child who marginalized what their step parents have done for them in the same fashion that you have.





This mother who is the mother of my son's girls has a history of Short Term relationships and in each she is always looking for a new "baby daddy". (She has unresolved issues from childhood. It was basically a horror story.)
I have heard that this (looking for a new baby daddy) is quite common and I actually witnessed it for real. Just go to Family Court for 1 whole day. It blows the mind what does go on as far as "who's who in the zoo" with regards to "Who's the Daddy of the Month?"!!!
What is worse is that the Welfare social worker will get a court order done up for the "flavour of the month" to pay CS even if he's only been with her for six months to a year! I saw this!
If the courts keep up what they are doing, with some of these women's track records, she will be getting support from at least 10 men by the time her child is twenty!


Well, your darling son DID choose to sleep with & be in relations with this woman. Soooo,,,,,,yeah.......lol.


It's nice to see that you have zero remorse for his struggles. Heaven forbid he makes a bad relationship choice. He didn't even sire the child, he just dated the woman. So because of which, he is liable for child support, and you're apparently okay with this. And people wonder why so many single mothers have such a hard time finding a guy that will stick with her beyond casual sex.
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 79
paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 5/26/2012 11:25:57 PM

Probably because he has zero obligations to that child one way or the other. He's doing something quite charitable, and it can possibly have a butterfly effect depending on how well he does contributing to the raising of that child. Some of us can see past our own noses and acknowledge that it's not the same as when the child belongs to you. I've yet to meet a step child who marginalized what their step parents have done for them in the same fashion that you have.



If he chose to be her father, that right there is a parental obligation. If he is parenting the child out of charity rather than a genuine love, he should rethink his choices to be involved with children. My children have had 2 step-fathers. One was a step-dad to one of my kids & a bio-dad to my other kid, should he have only been patted on the back for the kid that wasnt his biologically? Nah, he didnt care much for pats on the back, that wasnt his driving motive in becoming a father. He did it because he wanted to, didnt ask for anything but love in return.


It's nice to see that you have zero remorse for his struggles. Heaven forbid he makes a bad relationship choice. He didn't even sire the child, he just dated the woman. So because of which, he is liable for child support, and you're apparently okay with this. And people wonder why so many single mothers have such a hard time finding a guy that will stick with her beyond casual sex.


Oh please, almost every single woman wth kids who posts here gets berated for bad relationship choices. People make them, I have made them, it's life. Own it., dont whine about it. I dont care about his child support, those are his troubles, not mine. Apparently he did more than just casually date the woman if he was acting as a father to her child. Thats called being a family, not dating.


And people wonder why so many single mothers have such a hard time finding a guy that will stick with her beyond casual sex.


Oh please, where did i say that? Not true at all. I was a single parent at 19 & by 23 had a rock on my finger.
Many single parents go on to marry or re-marry or be in relationships, while single dudes living at their Mama's house bray on about them only being good for a quickie. If they want casual sex? More power to them, but it certainly isnt all they can get.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 80
view profile
History
paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 5/27/2012 12:26:55 AM
If he is parenting the child out of charity rather than a genuine love, he should rethink his choices to be involved with children.

Many guys take on these responsibilities because it's "the right thing to do," and even the so called genuine love has to develop over time.


Nah, he didnt care much for pats on the back, that wasnt his driving motive in becoming a father.

Small Sample Fallacy

It's just a figure of speech. Moreover, it's not so much whether they want recognition or not, but just whether they are deserving of one. It's kind of like our active/retired military. They are very deserving of recognition, but most of them aren't pandering for it.



Oh please, almost every single woman wth kids who posts here gets berated for bad relationship choices.

Having children is a big lifestyle choice. One that shouldn't be taken lightly. No person should be financially responsible for investing time in taking care of children that aren't even theirs. Hell, why don't we just sue babysitters, camp councilors, and teachers for child support too?


Thats called being a family, not dating.

They most certainly are not a family when the relationship falls apart. There is no sensible reason why he should be forced to maintain financial ties.



Oh please, where did i say that?

I didn't say YOU. One day you will be able to process that I'm not necessarily talking about YOU.


Not true at all. I was a single parent at 19 & by 23 had a rock on my finger.

Again, Small Sample Fallacy

Just look at these "dating single mother" forums.
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts14751271.aspx
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts11570879.aspx
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts1985914.aspx
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts14578535.aspx
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts2205651.aspx
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts13699243.aspx
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts13619711.aspx
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts6541026.aspx

That's just -part- of a thread search for "single mothers." You put in "single moms" and find plenty more. Not to mention all of the threads that get deleted because the topic of dating them has been done to death, but you can keep your head in the sand if you want to.


while single dudes living at their Mama's house bray on about them only being good for a quickie.

I guess we are going to just ignore how many of these single mothers have to live with their parents because they decided to go to get their educations and careers started AFTER they had kids. But let me guess, because YOU managed to make it work, YOU speak for all other single mothers.
 SxCBriGiT
Joined: 9/28/2008
Msg: 81
paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 5/27/2012 6:49:45 AM
Unfortunately.If the child was born during the marriage regardless of if the child is biologically his or not the courts consider it a child of marriage and he is responsible for the child anyways. I don't feel its fair, but it happens all the time with married women cheating.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 82
view profile
History
paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 5/30/2012 1:06:30 AM

There are morals and obligations surrounding kids that adults make the decision to be there for that are very much black and white...

Sure...but once those ties are severed, they should not be liable for the kid anymore, especially seeing how it's NOT BIOLOGICALLY THEIR KID.


than obviously you have acted as a parent (parentis loco) for a long period of time.

That "long period of time" can be as little as 6 months. Moreover, if there is this financial obligation, then they should also be granted visitation rights, which they are not.



I cannot even imagine walking away from such an awesome responsibility

Throwing your money at the parent of a kid that isn't even yours without your discretion isn't exactly an "awesome responsibility."
Not having control over how that money is spent on the kid (if it's even being spent on the kid at all) isn't an "awesome responsibility."

I would get more pleasure out of just flushing my money down the toilet.


Back to your corner you lil troll...or band together with the other haters of single mom's to lobby legislation that will illustrate you very outdated and predjiduce opinions.....good luck....and stfu...back to your corner

One day you'll grow up enough to actually know how to have a decent contribution to a discussion.
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 83
paying child support for non-biological children
Posted: 6/1/2012 7:55:25 AM
Wait for the paternity test results. If he's not the father, go to court & stop all forced child support. Anything done (visitation) or given (financially) thereafter will be out of the generosity of his heart. The girl's 13 & will figure things out on her own very soon & even seek him out if the mom puts a stop to visits. Heartbreaking for him yes but will resolve itself after a little time.
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