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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 orgfarmer64
Joined: 5/12/2012
Msg: 76
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?Page 4 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
We are all busy and we all have our own agendas. There isn't a right or wrong way to go about this. The only thing I can see that is wrong is when someone is wanting to just hook-up and the answer is no and they continue to hound the person.
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 77
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History
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/11/2012 6:18:43 AM
YES.. and if they didn't I write them off

I have no time for anyone who isn't interested in who I am.
 SSC-SAF
Joined: 5/20/2012
Msg: 78
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/11/2012 7:10:52 AM
I expect that they read my profile, here or on any other site, but based on the emails I get from guys who apparently did not read it (or read it and didn't understand it), I am constantly tweaking the verbiage to specify that I am seeking only someone who shares my interest in BDSM. They don't have to share most of my other interests, but that one is a deal-breaker because for an LTR, he's gotta be compatible "that way" or it isn't going to work. I like to keep the profile positive, but sometimes I am tempted to just spell it out as I just did here. Still don't think they'd read it, though.

On the kink sites, my profile states explicitly that I am not interested in a submissive male, but guess who writes to me the most? ...sigh
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 79
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/11/2012 9:00:11 AM
^^^^^
cus they want u to chastise them for not listening-sick lil subbies!
*******************************************************************
Most who have emailed me do not read my ad either. It is a shame that 80% of the people ruin it for the 20% who r sincere!
 rbwdm
Joined: 7/24/2012
Msg: 80
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/11/2012 12:04:22 PM
I've solved the problem for everyone here in this thread. I made my pictures private. If they contact me its because they read my profile, know a little about me, and want to know more. The biggest problem is that most people (woman as well as men) only look at the pics. So if I message someone they can't just look at the inbox and see my profile pic... before deleting my message like they do 99% of them. No, if they respond to my initial message its because they actually took the time to read my profile first because they couldn't just discard it based on a pic. Does it help ? Hard to know, most men have such a low response rate it kind of hard to quantify. I guess I'd rather get 1 response from a person who was actually interested in me than 5 who were only interested because of the pic I had taken.
 Straight_Teeth
Joined: 6/14/2012
Msg: 81
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/11/2012 12:44:55 PM
Hmmm! Some of the women on here should check on their competition (read the profiles of other women) because in my opinion 75%-85% of the profiles are really similar. I see why men "cut-n-past" (I don't) because you can get dizzy reading about; walks on the beach, my family and friends say, my children are the most important, I'm not here for a hook-up, make me laugh/be funny, etc.

Just a question Debbie if you're not attracted (no chemistry) to the ones that do read your profile and call you by your name do you send them a "no thank you" or just read and delete (haha)? I'm asking because I've read some profiles where the woman seems to purposely embed information which I find and comment on and still get no response and others where I just generically make a one or two liner and I get a response!
 14everBlessed2
Joined: 6/21/2012
Msg: 82
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/12/2012 11:35:36 AM
hi all, first post to a forum...YES!!! I expect (or rather hope) that they will have taken the time to read my profile before they contact me but I am thinking it is maybe just 20% who actually do that (best guess). I do take the time to read everyones profile who contacts me or interests me before I respond to them.
 spell_bound
Joined: 4/29/2012
Msg: 83
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/13/2012 5:45:32 AM
It would be nice if they did :)
I am amused when a guy contacts me and forgets he contacted me...a bit later down the road contacts me again forgetting the initial conversation. I don't get upset, I just giggle thinking to myself they must really talk to a lot of people. Either that or I am just that forgettable...:D it's all fun, you just have to smile and nod.
 authenticoutlook
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 84
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/15/2012 6:16:51 PM
Nope.. I don't care if they have read it or not any more. I used to think like that, now I don't care if they do or not as most don't any way. I care about how articulate and interesting they are in our communication. I do go and read someones profile when I receive an email from someone if I am going to respond to them because I am genuinely interested, to see if there is anything in common, interesting or intriguing about them.

I will take note if someone mentions something about my profile but not if they try and make themselves a match with it as a snow/ sales job!

Sidebar: (I must agree with what some posters have stated. Some emails although articulate do seem copied and pasted as a generic intro) Those, It depends what I think after I read the profile. Usually.... the profile is too long, or just too thought out or contrived to bear reading it all. Some seem to be okay and I will respond and don't think about the initial email any further.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 85
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If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/15/2012 7:33:14 PM
If they actually read it, I would get 80% less mail, as mine clearly states I am only here for the forums!!
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 86
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/15/2012 7:58:08 PM
If they actually read it, I would get 80% less mail, as mine clearly states I am only here for the forums!!


Precisely. I just got a message the other day from a supposedly well-educated man with an advanced degree. His message was copy and paste; it gave a detailed description of himself---including his height/weight and first name, as well as an offer to send his picture if I had any interest.

On a lark, I decided to send him this reply:

"Question: Do you even bother to read profiles and notice when women are not single/not looking and are here for forum participation only---or do you send the same copy and paste message to every woman whose photo appeals to you?"

His response:

"Have a wonderful day and wonderful life
No additional comment is needed 4 U"

A real Einstein, obviously.
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 87
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/15/2012 10:29:02 PM
I expect that they have NOT read my profile as it is longer than most and there are many men out there who have never cracked a book since high school...however, I am a published poet, so a guy who reads is already more interesting to me than one who does not. One who says, "I see you like to ----, so do I." tells me they at least glanced through my interests before emailing me and that person usually gets a positive response and is someone I am more likely to meet.

If I get a general "How are you doing?" email from someone or they favorite me, I always read their profile to see if we have genuine shared interests or if they are just out there fishing. Those just fishing are easy to spot and they get the "Thanks but no thanks and good luck to you in your search" response.
 Gargymil
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 88
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/15/2012 11:02:43 PM
Men and Women react differently to msgs sent , yet they both need stimulation to make a connection . I find women tend to prefer a picture painted with words , describing with eloquence and grace and a little risque ..
Men tend to be more visceral and if you take your clothes off and are holding a beer all is good .
 sylvilagus aquaticus
Joined: 11/4/2009
Msg: 89
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/18/2012 10:24:28 AM
I read every word of someone's profile, then I read it a second time to ensure I've comprehended what they appear to be saying. I do look at the person's photos- so sue me, I'm a guy, we're visual. It was the profile photo that co-opted me to open your profile anyway. It may have been a funny picture, or you have an appearance or countenance that I found attractive (and I'm the first to admit I have preferences!) but before I skim though the list of photos, I'm reading that profile in its entirety. Once I've done that twice, I'll go enlarge the thumbnails and look. Based on the content of your thoughts spilled upon the page and a favorable impression of your smiling countenance from my reptile brain, I'll weigh a decision on whether or not to drop a brief, non-stalkery, inoffensive and gentlemanly polite few lines to you as means of introduction and that I had seen your page. I'll not immediately request or demand that we should go out because we're perfect for each other. I wasn't raised that way, and I'm not wired for the presumption that I am the universal gift to things female on which you are missing out. Far from it- I'm shy in new social situations, reserved in my interactions, and slow to bring others into what is an admittedly small circle of trust. Yes, there are a few people I've opened a rapport with via messaging and we cut up a little with each other, but it's because of compatibility in personality styles. We've never met in person, but I feel like some of those folks are or would be fast friends or more if we did meet in real life.

I've received first messages from women in the past (a few profile revisions ago) which immediately harangued me on points meant as self-effacing to myself in sarcasm which they took as bitterness, anger toward women, a poor outlook or self-image, or that I should have the authorities contacted on me immediately as an antisocial person. Ladies, it was my effort at humorously breaking the ice. Read it twice before you whip out a message in haste. Goes for you men, too.

A message out of the blue that says "Nice bewbies I want to play with them!" generally does not evoke a positive response, but I've been wrong before. I'm just saying that's not a message of initial contact you'd receive from me, irrespective of how physically gifted you display yourself. I'm not 'slow' (or daft), but I do know something about propriety, courting, and civility. Dammit.

Rabbit.
 phoenix_55
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 90
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/18/2012 10:51:18 AM
In a perfect world, yes, they'd read the profile before emailing. But men, being the visual beings they are, see a pretty face and start emailing. Since I don't have a picture, that has solved my problem. Now when I get a message, what I wrote is all they have to go on. And it works pretty well.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 91
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/18/2012 11:14:22 AM

Oh my--LOLOL, is that a man in a speedo lying on his bed up there, CRkid??? I must say, the pic did draw me to peek at your profile just to explore this aspect of human behavior...LOL. Look out, folks, if I decide to post me in a bikini on my bed...that will take POF to a whole new level of "daaaayum, WTH !!!" LOL....aaah well....still laughing.



WHAT!!!!! I missed seeing a man in a speedo...hehe. Which reminds me of a cruise my friend and I went on a number of years ago. There were a number of shore excursions open to us and I really, really wanted to go to the nude beach. My friend did not. So I gave in and opted for the" Sub under the sea fantasy. "

Good thing too....one of the female passengers came back with, "Nothing to see but old men in speedos."

I give kudos to anyone who takes the time to read my profile cause it is quite "wordy" hehe..... And I always tell them upfront that I hope they have cause there will be a quiz...*grin*


...mae
 CowgirlTif
Joined: 8/13/2012
Msg: 92
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/18/2012 4:26:56 PM
I totally agree! Mine is rather lengthy but I make no apologies--if they can't first get past that than I don't need to waste my time. I wasted 17 years on someone that made me the last priority.
 raicor
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 93
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/18/2012 7:20:04 PM
surely you jest. :) men will contact, i guess on looks alone. mainly that is all they do one could even, with some credibility, suggest. while females will add men to the meet me list or favorites. and given the "women" who wish to meet me, they either read my profile and had some sort of reality disconnect, don't know men are allowed to have profiles or not even, remotely, a quick skim.

"food, must go to the washroom, click button, click button, click, click..."
 raicor
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 94
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/18/2012 7:21:39 PM
or, is that wasted 17 years of life attempting to change someone?
 jimintoronto2
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 95
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 8/28/2012 6:55:29 AM
Of course. I recently met a woman, at her suggestion, and she didn't know a single thing about me. She asked some questions about me that were covered in my profile. I wasn't impressed in the least and the meet up didn't last long.
 lisamarie673
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 96
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 9/7/2012 5:06:48 PM
It really rubs me the wrong way when someone contacts me and says..so what do you like to do? Really?

If they took just a few minutes of their time they would know exactly what I like to do. A surefire way to get blocked is to message me and ask me what my hobbies are..

Just saying..
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 97
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If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 9/9/2012 2:29:00 PM
It's obvious to me most men who contact me have not actually read my profile.

People don't read.

This is one reason why so many don't get a response.
 betteroffsingle
Joined: 7/24/2012
Msg: 98
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 9/9/2012 3:16:31 PM
Absolutely they should have read it first. It is rare that I send any messages but you can be sure I've dissected the profile with surgical precision if I do. The meet me notifications with no profile view get me as well but the person clicking yes or maybe could be viewing in stealth mode.
 Solange_Bond2
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 99
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 9/10/2012 6:16:09 AM
Yes, I absolutely expect them to read my profile if they have a genuine interest in DATING me. I read EVERY profile of every email that I receive IF they actually take the time to write something beyond "U R Hawt" or "Hi, how u doin?" (sadly, not kidding).
I personally would never initiate contact with anyone based on pictures alone. I'm not looking for arm candy or someone to boost my ego. I'm searching for substance, for soul. Unfortunately it is rare for men to write a lot in their profile "About Me" section and I've often been criticized for "judging a book by its cover" or jumping to conclusions based on a "meaningless" profile. Frankly, nothing is meaningless. If the overall feel of a profile is negative or the person is whining about how difficult this whole process is, then we will NOT have anything in common. Having a positive mental attitude and outlook on life is far more important to me than a list of things you like to do.
There is as much to discern about a person from a poorly written profile as there is from one who sounds as though they just won the Nobel Peace award.
Personally, in life, I appreciate someone who pays attention to details, who is thoughtful, kind and caring in their actions. If they've not taken the time to read my profile, then I know that they will not take the time to appreciate all that makes me a unique individual.
Just my POV, not right, not wrong, but it works for me,
Jamie
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 100
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 9/10/2012 9:25:04 AM
I have one line - in bold - at the very top of my profile. It says that I'm here for the forums and I jokingly ask my boyfriend if I 'did good' in getting the message across.

ONE LINE. My original "about me" description has been pushed down so you have to scroll just to see it.

Obviously plenty of guys can't even read one bold line, because I still get messages from them stating, "I really enjoyed reading your profile, I think we could be a good match..."

LMAO.
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