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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 CDMer
Joined: 9/15/2012
Msg: 121
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Thirty three women have initiated contact with me. I would say of that number thirty did not read my profile and three did. Those three met all or at least most of the criteria I specified as essential and wrote about shared interests and other commonalities. Most of the thirty were so lacking I wondered why they even bothered other than to irritate me.
 johnl46
Joined: 5/8/2012
Msg: 122
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 10/17/2012 7:57:08 PM
I would hope they read my profile. Otherwise it would be a waste of their time and mine if there was nothing we had in common.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 123
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History
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 10/17/2012 9:03:17 PM
i've been with my boyfriend for way over two years and he is still reading my profile:) he was visual and also dyslexic. a good thing or he would have realized my age. yes, if i were a bad person, he would eventually have figured it out. but, as much as i scoured profiles for that mental connection, he "sees" profiles. if he did read what i wrote, he probably would have run:)

on the other hand, i've met many a good profile reader with wonderful profiles of their own, who lied and were full of sh_t. so, it's all about the journey. for every disappointment, there are also "missed" opportunities. i just treated it like sales. did not let anything get to me, just focused on the outcome, weeded out the obvious jerks and let the universe "provide", which she did.

i think the real work is if you meet the person and click. again, i was adept at weeding out the real jerks. but, there were many coffees with nice men, some of whom i befriended but w/o any chemistry. then came my honey bunny. are we a lot alike? no way! do we have each other's back? yes.
 jimintoronto2
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 124
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 10/18/2012 12:50:42 AM

Thirty three women have initiated contact with me. I would say of that number thirty did not read my profile and three did. Those three met all or at least most of the criteria I specified as essential and wrote about shared interests and other commonalities. Most of the thirty were so lacking I wondered why they even bothered other than to irritate me.

I have a similar "track record". The majority of women who contact me pay no attention to my profile. I always take the time to reply to them and let them know they should read profiles before making contact. I get very mixed reactions, most of them being upset. Tough.
 NotSeekin
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 125
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History
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 10/24/2012 8:19:20 PM
Ms. Solange Bond2 on 9/10/2012

... Having a positive mental attitude and outlook on life is far more important to me than a list of things you like to do. ... Personally, in life, I appreciate someone who pays attention to details, who is thoughtful, kind and caring in their actions.


... When you live a life of appreciation and gratitude, there is no room for disappointment, resentment or bitterness. Every encounter, every experience has led you to where you are today and has shaped you into the unique individual that stares back at you in the mirror every morning. Learn to appreciate, to accept, and to love that... and your life (and those you touch) will be forever better for it.

I enjoyed and appreciated these comments.
 lightninbug22
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 126
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 10/27/2012 1:03:18 PM
I sure can tell by what they say in some of the e-mails that they have not read my profile at all--is this based on looks alone?? At our age you would think that people would have developed more depth..... :-/
 curiousone421
Joined: 10/19/2012
Msg: 127
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 10/27/2012 4:04:39 PM
"Unfortunately, men tend to respond to a womens appearance first. This is how evolution has wired our brains. Subconsciously we look for a womans reproductive value. This may seem insulting, but its the truth."

There is nothing insulting about the reality that appearance is the first thing men notice. Women notice it too. But we are a highly evolved peoples and it is an expectation I have that a man will read my profile and not waste my time by contacting me if he hasn't.
 sexysunfish68
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 128
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 10/27/2012 4:14:36 PM
dragracer428

I see where you are coming from. However some people are just cruising and having fun. I cant imagine a woman just random hitting without reading a profile but I know men do it. Takes all kinds I guess.
 tyson8
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 129
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 11/9/2012 12:59:44 AM
Well maybe that is what I have been doing wrong? I do see a photo and am attracted to a lady, then I read her profile and if I have similar interests etc I then send a message. So far have only met one lady and as nice and good as she is, she is only after a sports partner. I even wonder if half the ladies on here are fake as I have received messages that a certain lady wants to meet me and then when I send a message I get no response. And the old "has no baggage"line baggage is what makes us what we are. Are all the ladies in dream land? Oh well life will go on nonetheless.
 lightninbug22
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 130
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 11/9/2012 6:36:09 AM
Profiles are here for a reason. Reading profiles should be a step in deciding whether to contact someone or not. Sure, looks are important and often what attracts us first, but there can also be things in profiles, that are deal-breakers, even though someone is attractive physically. I know that there are some things written in my profile that will not appeal to everybody. I would rather be contacted by just a few men who have read my profile and think that there really might be something there than to be contacted by scads of men that I have nothing in common with who just like my picture.

I think you are on the right track, Tyson.
 wolftxusa1966
Joined: 11/2/2012
Msg: 131
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 11/9/2012 7:00:36 AM
I haven't read all posts, but my vote is 'yes'. And more often than not, a profile made me NOT want to contact the lady because I saw something very incompatible in there. I have never sent a first message without first reading the profile (except in the case of forum feedback).
 lightninbug22
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 132
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 11/9/2012 7:47:22 AM
Very sensible, wolf--that way, you do not waste anybody's time, including your own. I definitely read profiles and often do find deal-breakers in them. Finding the right person is never all that easy, not in real life, not on here. It takes some time and thought. If only more people would think and read profiles.....
 Sandis1966
Joined: 11/4/2012
Msg: 133
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 11/17/2012 10:00:33 PM
Yes! I get so tired of men messaging me and their oppening line is telling me how sexy they think I am. Im a youth pastor! Try pretty or beautiful or hello! They act all offended when the find out who I am and that Im not an easy target. When a new guy messages me, the very first thing I do is read his profile, then answer his message. That way I know who I am talking to.
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 134
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 11/17/2012 10:36:57 PM
^^^I hear you...I am an active Presbyterian and state clearly I am looking for someone with a church affiliation, but I still get initial contacts that say things like "You're hot" or "Hi, Sexy". POF is a picture book for most men. Those that are courteous/respectful in their initial email and who mention a common interest are much more likely to get a positive response.
 geoweb
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 135
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 11/18/2012 5:12:50 AM
I agree with some of the others who have commented here...I do expect people who contact me to have read my profile.
Having said that, there are times when I read a woman's profile and am totally confused. They list only one or two interests in their haste to post their pictures, and omit everything else 'so we have something to talk about'

In your case, Debbie, I checked your profile, and did not see where you posted your name. I certainly would not address a note as 'dear purplapalooza'....If i wrote to you it would be because I had an interest in knowing more...its really is that simple.

I agree that there will be people who will write based on your picture only, but I think in the 'over 45' group, that is the exception, rather than the norm.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 136
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 11/18/2012 9:21:29 AM
I agree that there will be people who will write based on your picture only, but I think in the 'over 45' group, that is the exception, rather than the norm.


I haven't found this to be the case at all---and I'm 53. As an experiment, I decided to post a picture of myself with my mate---and while it has cut way back on unwanted contact, it hasn't eliminated it completely.
 geoweb
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 137
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 11/18/2012 9:45:34 AM
If you are getting lots of contacts, Halcyon, you may be right. You clearly have said you are not looking, here for forums only, and even giving people the finger at the bottom of your profile. Your narrative would scare most of us away, too. However, there is still a paragraph there about what you are looking for which kind of makes some sense. You LOOK much younger than 51 in all of the pictures, and at first glance, I thought that might be your father in the first pic.

I'm not knocking the apparent age difference, people would probably think I was your father too, LOL Also, there are lots of folks out there who have no idea about the forum in here. Were they real contacts or just the 'Meet Me' letters saying someone was interested in you, or is it possible that the mixed messages sent in the profile confused them?
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 138
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 11/18/2012 12:55:21 PM
I'm not knocking the apparent age difference, people would probably think I was your father too, LOL Also, there are lots of folks out there who have no idea about the forum in here. Were they real contacts or just the 'Meet Me' letters saying someone was interested in you, or is it possible that the mixed messages sent in the profile confused them?


My profile can only be viewed from the forums, since I have it hidden from searches. I can only assume the men contacting me are either not bothering to read my profile---or they think they might still have a chance at dating me despite my having a man.

Yes, he is older than I am---but unless he fathered me at the age of ten, there's no way I could be his daughter.
 _Meta_Man_
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 139
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 11/18/2012 12:58:58 PM
I get a kick out of the people who clearly have no idea what is in their OWN profile. On many occasions I have read profiles several times to get a feel for a woman I might have interest in (or not) to write a nice email directly addressing something in her profile just to get a response like ??????????. Quite entertaining actually.
 jimintoronto2
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 140
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 11/18/2012 1:26:47 PM

I get a kick out of the people who clearly have no idea what is in their OWN profile. On many occasions I have read profiles several times to get a feel for a woman I might have interest in (or not) to write a nice email directly addressing something in her profile just to get a response like ??????????. Quite entertaining actually.


Wow, haven't heard that one before! There's always something new to learn on these forums.
 daffie
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 141
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History
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 11/24/2012 3:09:30 AM
i do like to think that most men who initiate contact with me have first read my profile...although often when a message lands in my inbox it's obvious to me that the sender hasn't bothered to peruse my list of interests.

anyways, upon reading their missives it becomes apparent soon enough if they haven't!...
 lightninbug22
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 142
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 11/24/2012 7:28:48 AM

i do like to think that most men who initiate contact with me have first read my profile...although often when a message lands in my inbox it's obvious to me that the sender hasn't bothered to peruse my list of interests.


I would like to think that they have ready my profile too, but it seems that in a LOT of the cases---wrong!!! I fail to understand why anybody would not read a profile in order to determine whether someone may be a possible match, unless they are just basing everything on looks.

Perhaps this is what is called fishing--throwing your bait out to everyone who you think is physically attractive and seeing what you get back...
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 143
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 11/24/2012 10:11:47 AM

I fail to understand why anybody would not read a profile in order to determine whether someone may be a possible match,


A logical enough proprosition.......


unless they are just basing everything on looks.


....and the reason why logic goes out the window, unless one is only searching for a one night stand, in which case looks are the main consideration, versus a long-term relationship, the success of which depends on so much more than just looks.
 lightninbug22
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 144
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 11/24/2012 11:20:02 AM

....and the reason why logic goes out the window, unless one is only searching for a one night stand, in which case looks are the main consideration, versus a long-term relationship, the success of which depends on so much more than just looks.


Geez--I forgot about the people looking for one night stands. I just don't tend to think in those terms; that way of thinking is very foreign to me. I guess if searching for one night stands, everything else would take a back seat to physical attraction. That will give me something to think about the next time I get a message and it is obvious that they have not read my profile.
 WolfSpirit29
Joined: 11/22/2012
Msg: 145
If a person initiates contact with you on POF, do you expect for them to have read your profile?
Posted: 12/7/2012 4:36:12 PM
Yes! Yes! Yes! To me if they don't take the time to read my profile, then I don't have time for them. If they can read, they can get to know a lot about me and they can figure out after reading it if they are interested or not. It's SO very easy to do men! Suck it up, take a few mins to read the ladies profiles and be real! :)
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