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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > i find him attractive but its too late to tell him :(      Home login  
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 25
i find him attractive but its too late to tell him :(Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Hi there PW,
I read your post on the forums but the site didn't let me post a reply. I feel sorry
for the guy you dated and your very pretty! I don't know why he would try to pull a
fast one on you even in this day and age(it's like everyone is rushing into a deal).

I just broke up with a girl 10 yrs over my age and it's because I was casual and dates were kinda slow (w/e that
meant). I didn't kiss her till I knew she liked me a lot and on the 3rd or 4th
date(she was the only one I was seeing, keep that in mind) and she kissed me.

I'm a man with principles and I don't know your friend but I'd have to say he acted
like a smooth douche. You know even friends would have their disagreements but he
could've given you a chance.

With the women in my family, I hear a lot of crappy stories of men giving them 50/50
credibility. What was meant to be, is meant to be and you should be really reserved
to not get taken advantage of. Metro-sexual men tend to be too into themselves and
keep their score-cards with them 24/7.

>>> In conclusion, I would brush him off if he never talks to you again. If he does
call/text you back, start from square one again(for your own insurance).

If you trust what I say, post my reply on the forums w/o a reply. I keep looking for
a soul right for yours. Maybe someone who'll take their time, hold a good
conversation and really open up to you. You will like-wise do the same showing your
comfort with that person.

Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 26
i find him attractive but its too late to tell him :(
Posted: 4/8/2012 1:53:34 PM

He knows that you are interested because you did text him and he ignored it.

This man has bigger issues!! You will regret it if you try to reconnect with him. Let it go!

I partially agree with this but I don't want to seem like an "ass". He could be partially embarrass at the notion that he tried to kiss her( was rejected )but wants to act cool about it as if he knows what he's doing.

Not knowing a person and investigating someone shouldn't be all that much trouble. Girls these days take too much risk and end up regretting their actions in the end. Take heart of the matter if you really like a person.

It's been done before, it has worked but just because women aren't careful doesn't mean it's not effective.

Again, if it's not worth it, drop him. Go gold-digging!
Joined: 9/15/2009
Msg: 27
i find him attractive but its too late to tell him :(
Posted: 4/8/2012 3:30:49 PM
Do him a favour and leave him alone! Get over your hang ups and then come back to dating. All you have done is come accross as the "i just want to be friends" type of girl, who does not want to take things further. He probably has lots of female friends, he came on here for a girlfriend.
Life is about taking chances, you didn't take your chance, now you have to live with it.
He has probably found another woman now who had the courage of her convictions and now has a great boyfriend.
Joined: 2/3/2012
Msg: 28
i find him attractive but its too late to tell him :(
Posted: 4/9/2012 9:57:09 AM
My first reaction was to wonder if the msg is from the op, like was there a mixup with the profiles on here?
OP you're 32? hmm but reading again, maybe it's because of cultural differences? who knows?

Bottom line is if it doesn't feel right.... probably not right.

You are an attractive woman. If you don't want to enjoy a kiss after a few dates, then don't. But you may have a tough time finding a guy willing to go through the whole courting ritual. Also seems like maybe you are over thinking this.

Personally, if a woman turned away several times .... I don't think I would have even tried after one. It's a clear signal. Either she's not into me or ... IDK what other reason would there be? Perhaps some kind of trauma that I am not qualified to handle. Not to judge or down you.... just not the normal kind of response imo.

Communication is key- if you still want him, better clear this up because he is probably feeling pretty over it.
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 29
i find him attractive but its too late to tell him :(
Posted: 4/9/2012 11:23:16 AM
In short: You played yourself.


Joined: 2/28/2012
Msg: 30
i find him attractive but its too late to tell him :(
Posted: 4/12/2012 7:39:28 PM
It's too late for this one. Don't call and explain. He didn't answer your text... he won't take your call. No guy wants to hear the reason he was rejected.

The problem started when she went out with him for the second time because she had nothing else to do. He thought it meant one thing, and her something else. Then two rejections for a kiss (trying a second time on the same night? C'mon...) and he asks you out the next day, and you still agree to meet him... I guarantee he thought you were sending mixed signals
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 31
i find him attractive but its too late to tell him :(
Posted: 5/27/2012 8:15:01 AM
Kissing is a huge part of chemistry between two people, I mean that is the most contact you will have with someone on an intimate or semi sexual level. Whats the big deal you should have kissed him if you liked him. Personally I want a kiss on the first date to see the fit, and if I don't get one after a second date........I'm out. I don't have to have sex right away with someone, but lots of delicious kissing is a must have.
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 32
i find him attractive but its too late to tell him :(
Posted: 5/27/2012 2:39:37 PM
welcome to dating in todays society.

too many men run because women wont "put out"

good for you for not falling for the "moves" they try to use and sticking to your own instincts.

dump him. if he cant have fun with you and understand where you are coming from then he is def. not worth it
Joined: 10/27/2010
Msg: 33
i find him attractive but its too late to tell him :(
Posted: 5/29/2012 8:23:16 AM
^^^Doesn't sound like he ignored her cause she wouldn't put out. More like alot of miss communications.
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 34
i find him attractive but its too late to tell him :(
Posted: 5/30/2012 8:48:16 AM
Hey OP... I wonder if your being invited to his home made you think a little more well... cynically than you would have had the first two dates not been meant as restaurant or coffee shot from the get go... so it maybe exacerbated your shyness

but I will confess I do agree with others who have said a man who has twice tried to kiss you and been rejected will be stinging... and will not probably feel like having another rejection.

Text is pretty impersonal; not strong enough to overcome a sting to a man's ego. He maybe has moved on; but it would be good if you called either way.

If he doesn't pick up; leave a voicemail maybe saying you were feeling shy and were taken by surprise but that you would like to see him and would also like to kiss him goodnight next time so he knows you do like him. If nothing else, it will get the bad taste out of both of your mouths and whether he accepts or not; you won't feel like he didn't know you wanted to give him another opportunity, one which you were going to take next time around.

Either way, best of luck to you.
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 35
i find him attractive but its too late to tell him :(
Posted: 5/30/2012 10:08:40 AM
later tonight he texted me n said thanks for a goodnight kiss.. God, I felt terrible but I hope he understand that I like to kiss when its right, I like to take my time

You have to understand you're not 18, you're 32. You have to more understand you're out in left field. I do not say that as a rant, I say it as the truth. Way out in left field. It's the 3rd outing, and you don't want to kiss him? If it's not right by the 3rd date, which by the way is a long time, then you have issues. As long as you believe that's relatively "normal" to see things how you do, the more complicated "dating" is going to be, and that does nobody any service.

he was disappointed I guess but that's not how I felt about him, if he try to give me a kiss on the 3rd I would of course

It was a 3rd date! And that's even a long time frame to bring on the 1st kiss. Yes, you do count the first meetup as a "date" in the sense of how many "dates" do you kiss someone. I can understand a short-lived 1st meetup/date not kissing, or even a lengthy one just during the day not kissing. But after that, fish or cut bait. It's not hooking up. It's an expression of -actual- interest. If it doesn't feel right on the 3rd outing with a guy, you're lacking -actual- interest.

Or should I call him and explain that not because I didn't want to kiss him that night it just because my past I met people that are after only one thing

That's a HORRIBLE explanation. No justification, no sound reasoning. Kissing in a discreet public place in the evening like at the car does not mean you're going to do "one thing", nor is it even an indicator that he wants just "one thing". I could see not going home with him, sure. But a kiss at the car? That's a cop-out. You've got unwarranted problems/issues about guys in general.

secondly, me personaly I like to get comfortable first before I kiss someone, I am a real person I am not kissing or sleeping around..

Kissing around? Having a kiss on a first date is "kissing around"? Waiting to kiss on a 3rd outing is "kissing around"? How about hanging out with a guy you're not that interested in? That's called leading him on. Yes, you do have -some- interest... but your issues/uncomfortability in general is making you lack in sufficient interest (as can an ex, his looks, his laugh, his personality, etc).

but if he did like me why can't he be patient ???

I'll admit, he has pushed for the kiss. Probably because he sensed you didn't like him at all, which you didn't, but came around. Okay. He wanted to get a kiss out of the way, which is very understandable, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that the attempts weren't delivered in the smoothest of ways (due to you being in the 5% of overly-apprehensive about something PG-rated). However, most people do want a kiss by the 2nd date... and the vast majority of the remainder would want one (again, if actual interest) by the end of the 3rd outing, like a walk to the car. He was patient in another way to go out on a 3rd date still, to give you another chance.

If you're not wanting to kiss a guy after an outing or two, don't go out for a 3rd time. If it's too conditional and all -- you've got to resolve your issues and relax. Kissing isn't remotely close or in the same remote ballpark as sexual endeavors. It's an expression of interest. You're 32, come awn. :)
Joined: 10/27/2009
Msg: 36
i find him attractive but its too late to tell him :(
Posted: 5/31/2012 5:56:13 PM
"God, I felt terrible but I hope he understand that I like to kiss when its right, I like to take my time,
But I m kinna shy to make the first move..."

Don't ya think you should have told him that from the start? I cant stand it when women refuse to open up and say what they mean! Be honest and say what you mean!!!!
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > i find him attractive but its too late to tell him :(