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 CapricornAquarius
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 133
What do women really want?Page 7 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
To say that something like unconditional love doesn't exist must mean your life has been absent of it. Loving somebody like you would love your own child or mother, well that's unconditional. If you can find that in another who is not of you well then you've found Love. I love unconditionally, sure expectations are present but can they be brushed off to the side? Yes. That's what loving somebody is. The ability to accept somebody with their flaws and past your expectations of them IS TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY. If you can't grasp that idea well maybe you're not ready to love or ready for Love.

Now, if he cheats on your or beats you or etc., and you decide to stay and you mistakenly agree that loving him still is "unconditional love" perhaps you may need a moment to re-evaluate that decision and the mean of that kind of love.

If you can't love unconditionally well, it's simple, don't expect it.

As far as the rose colored lenses comment, I very much am a realist. This is something I have been grateful to experience and hold very dear. I only hope each one of us can find this at least once in our lifetime.
 OCRebellion
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 134
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/25/2012 11:36:04 PM
Capricorn...do not think because I state that unconditional love does not exist that my life has been void of real and meaningful love. That would be the same as me saying that due to the asinine things you've posted your brain is void of intelligence. Interestingly, you...perhaps without even realizing it, proved the point that unconditional love does not exist by the following quote from your post, "...sure expectations are present..." that, in and of itself, qualifies your love. Regardless of whether or not you brush something to the side, you have qualified your love based on your set of expectations. Unconditional by its definition is ...not limited by conditions; unqualified. It is an ideology that people believe in and strive to attain, which is why love for so many is hard, if not impossible to find in our non-maternal/paternal relationships. When you let go ...you open yourself up for real love, which is qualified, conditional ...but at the same time very deep and meaningful. In your post, you elude to having found unconditional love in your life. Did that person pass away? If not, then the love was conditional. There is a lot of research, articles, reports, blogs, etc. that support "unconditional love" is not attainable.

Edit...I had not previously looked at your profile until after this post. However, after doing so, things are so clear and I know exactly why you post and hold on to the ideology of "unconditional love"... ::sigh::
 CapricornAquarius
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 135
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/26/2012 4:37:02 PM
When you can love past your expectations, that's loving unconditionally. & your rude remarks do nothing to support your idea so what's YOUR problem?

Meaningful and real love isn't exactly UNCONDITIONAL so YOU ma'am are still void of it, as I stated before. I hope you find it soon cause you seem to be in dire need of it or SOMETHING. It will do your heart some good and maybe insulting people you don't know will happen less often.

Expectations can be had but even if you don't meet them they'll love you just the same, unconditionally.
 CapricornAquarius
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 136
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/26/2012 4:44:00 PM
Edit after reading my profile? Sighing? Save the Pity for yourself lady. Don't take my youth for granted. It's bitter people like you who spread their negativity because of your own awful experiences which perpetuates a defensive, tiring and disgusting idea about loving another. Love is deserved not granted. It is simple but in order to attain and maintain it your heart along with your mind and sound body has to be open to it.

Maybe you may have had too many expectations which didn't allow you to love unconditionally so in turn you have yet to receive it.
 CapricornAquarius
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 137
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/26/2012 4:51:34 PM
I think I'll just agree to disagree with you. Though I'll probably never understand your view on this matter it is exactly that, your view.
 OCRebellion
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 138
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/26/2012 8:25:58 PM
Capricorn…YOUR rude remarks don’t support your position, so what’s YOUR problem? As I stated before, it’s been written about by many distinguished and reputable individuals in life that unconditional love does not exist. If you believe differently, then knock yourself out. But understand, my different POV (supported by research and documented by experts) does not make my life void of love. You would like to think, at your limited age and life experience, that you know so much that you can think or judge someone wiser and more experienced in life’s offerings…but you are incapable in doing so. Something you fail to understand is that my life is not validated by the acceptance or not of the members of POF or any other online forum. My life is validated by the REAL people and experiences in REAL life, with absolutely no need on my part to share such experiences here to prove a point to most who I will never meet. You read negativity in my words and think I am bitter because you want me to be the villain, you want me to be void of love because that somehow gives you permission for me to be a target and, therefore, justifies your hypocritical behavior to launch your rude attacks upon me. You have much to learn in life…very much. I have experienced (given and received) love in ways that most could never imagine happening in their lifetimes and because of it have experiences, triumphs, sadness and memories that will forever live on even after my body ceases to inhabit this earth. Feel free to take and twist this to suit your agenda, but understand that it will never change the reality and truth of what has already been.
 CapricornAquarius
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 139
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/26/2012 8:52:52 PM
Have you researched the ways that unconditional love does actually exist? How many articles pop up then? Times have definitely changed and what WAS once the norm is now dying off so more have adopted your way of thinking and they JUST GIVE UP. Nobody sticks around anymore. Nobody fights to save a marriage. Divorce rates are at it's high. And I refuse to let that become my or the people around me's reality. Now if more people were on the same page as I, I really do wonder what'd you'd have to say about unconditional love then. Just because the majority says it doesn't exist doesn't mean that it actually doesn't exist.

And what are your sources? The Internet? Blogs? Come on. If I wanted to make something look more truthful than I'd do as much research SUPPRTING MY THEORY, write an essay or two about the matter just so people like you can say things like, "Hey, it's true. I read a few essays. Unconditonal Love is proven." My point is anything can became truth if you get enough people to believe it.

Luckily for you I don't need those you deem "intellectually superior" to tell me what I KNOW is very real.

Like I previously stated, agree to disagree.

I'll try my best not to respond to your next post.
 OCRebellion
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 140
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/26/2012 9:22:35 PM
See...you twist and twist and twist and continue with the rude attacks. Yes, I actually look at both sides of any situation. Unlike you, I can appreciate the full spectrum of any given topic and not be blinded by just one side and thereby twisting the other like you seem to take pleasure in doing. Please, by all means, tell me where in my POV that my thinking includes giving up and also please tell me exactly where I deemed anyone "intellectually superior" because I can't wait for another edition of ...Capricorn twists words to support her emotionally driven rant. What you know to be real is real for you - period end of story and I even said said to you...if that's what you believe knock yourself out. I love the statement from you, "luckily for you..." ...hahahaha. Really? You believe yourself to have relevance or effect as it pertains to me. My dear...the answer to that is no. BTW...you lost your positioning of "agree to disagree" when you went all emotional with the attacks, but keep believing in this twisted scenario you keep dreaming up, because it doesn't change the truth; it doesn't change reality and it has ZERO effect and influence on the reality of my life.
 2FunCoco
Joined: 5/26/2011
Msg: 141
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/26/2012 9:28:54 PM
It's easier to say what they do NOT want. then count that HALF of the time. then you will get what they want. see?
 slick3211
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 142
view profile
History
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/27/2012 12:37:11 AM

Nope ...Capricorn, unconditional love IS a myth.


unconditional love does EXIST.... it's called "immediate Family... like Parent to Child.... Blood Love... as the expression says: "Blood is thicker than water".... it does not matter what they do or say.... you will always LOVE them...
You probably never had kids then if you say so!

but on the other hand, YOU can STOP loving a wife or husband...cuz they were never our BLOOD...hence the expression : "Falling out of love"!
 CapricornAquarius
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 143
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/27/2012 1:05:55 AM
I'm twisting things up? How? You may be feeling that way, you know defensive, because I MAKE SENSE and you have NO point to make against it.

Who is making you the " bad guy"? Geesh. We're having a simple debate. Leave the siding for those who are by standing on this debate. People will either see your point or mine, they can deem either you or I this " bad guy" role you speak of if their is such a title to be held in this situation!

Anywho, I like challenges. You challenged my point of view. I'm simply responding to it and being firm in what I believe and want from my man.

You opened the gates for insults and I have a sharp mind and the mouth to match when necessary. I could be much more vicious but like I said twice before,

Let's agree to disagree? No, we will agree to disagree.

To each his own.

Take care & happy fishing.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 144
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/27/2012 5:11:28 AM
What most men need to do is take some time to answer this question


What do women really want?


Answer it with who cares.. At least for a little while.

What do I want? What do I want to accomplish?

Answer those questions and fulfill them. Once you have done some work on yourself, your own confidence and your own happiness then concern yourself with what women want. Just don't dwell on it because your time taking care of your own needs will have helped with the parts of what women want that can actually be figured out.
 OCRebellion
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 145
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/27/2012 5:49:37 AM
Capricorn...if you make sense, it's only in your own mind. Yes, you HAVE twisted my words and misstated my position because you said things/quoted things that I never said and when I addresssed that with you, on more than one occasion, you fail to respond, which was expected. You'd rather sling mud - I get it; it's your age, immaturity and emotions getting the best of you, acting out like a petulant child.

Yes, to each their own. Good luck with your fishing...I think you'll need it.
 slick3211
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 146
view profile
History
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/27/2012 8:21:15 AM

it's your age, immaturity and emotions getting the best of you, acting out like a petulant child.

if Capricorn is a Petulant Child.........

one would expect a "MATURE" grown woman, to IGNORE and NOT engage in a debate with a "so to speak" PETULANT child..... doesn't it make you ONE also (child that is), as you are playing in the sand box with him!! Who's the child trying to win the war or the words here?
 OCRebellion
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 147
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/27/2012 8:47:40 PM
It's a "her" not 'him" and I said "acting like" not "is" ....and no it does not., but thanks for playing.
 CapricornAquarius
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 148
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/29/2012 2:44:50 AM
Even so, his point remains. Now that's the pot calling the kettle BLACK.

ZIIIIING!
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 149
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/29/2012 12:41:09 PM
I'm pretty certain that (self-)confidence is not the issue. I know plenty of people who "know what they're doing, even when they're wrong" and I have not seen it be a factor at all. However, "overconfidence" has been a factor - that drives people away.
 OCRebellion
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 150
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/29/2012 7:48:38 PM
Capricorn...there is no point and no zing. Must be your "420 friendly" lifestyle talking.
 CapricornAquarius
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 151
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/29/2012 10:50:48 PM
You and your judgements! First you attack my youth now it's an attack on what you THINK my "lifestyle" is based on your own ignorance of ONE herbal practice I partake in when my schedule allows me the time. Well to that I say...


MUST be the post menopause talking if you see NO POINT or NO ZING.

You called me a petulant child, he defined a petulant child and compared you to one based on your own actions to say that if you deem me a petulant child you must also consider yourself one BY DEFINITION of "petulant child"

It's sad that you only see what you want to see. You can't entertain an idea other than yours. An intolerant life of others is a sad life indeed.

At best, you're keeping me quite entertained though.

Bring it on Grandma!
 CapricornAquarius
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 152
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/29/2012 11:44:24 PM
1.

As I stated before, it’s been written about by many distinguished and reputable individuals in life that unconditional love does not exist.

Is it not safe to say that the words "distinguished" and "reputable" are characteristics of superior intellect? Also not safe to say that YOU find them superior, ESPECIALLY since you believe in their research enough to use it to support your theory while taking a big crap on my idea of unconditional love?

2. Talk about TWISTING words!

OCRebellion 11/26/2012
you want me to be void of love

CapricornAquarius 11/21/2012
I hope you find it just so you're proven wrong and stop perpetuating such a negative idea.

By IT, I meant LOVE, so WHERE in that supports your idea that I want you to be void of love? I've said it many times that I wish it for everyone, and the word "everyone" includes YOU, by definition.

OCRebellion 11/25/2012
Interestingly, you...perhaps without even realizing it, proved the point that unconditional love does not exist by the following quote from your post, "...sure expectations are present..." that, in and of itself, qualifies your love.


Now let's add in the REST of what I said...(:
CapricornAquarius
11/25/2012
I love unconditionally, sure expectations are present but can they be brushed off to the side? Yes. That's what loving somebody is. The ability to accept somebody with their flaws and past your expectations of them IS TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY.


From a different response but I think you should understand where I stand on this matter. I've repeated this IDEA in serveral responses
11/26/2012
When you can love past your expectations, that's loving unconditionally.
 CapricornAquarius
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 153
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/30/2012 12:08:24 AM
Based on the points you have made, OC.

I'm forced to conclude that maybe you cannot grasp the idea of loving past one's expectation. Though it may be Love with passion, endurance, honestly, faithfully, zeal, etc. it will never be unconditional Love unless you can understand that your expectations, while true and just, don't matter at all.

Like I've said a billion times! Unconditional Love is loving past your expectations of another.

Is loving past your expectation possible? Yes.

So is unconditional Love that much of a Myth? Though it seems to be in this day in age, we cannot rule it out unless we can prove that there is absolutely 0% chance for any of the 7,055,353,807 people on this EARTH to love PAST EXPECTATIONS.

I am a small percentage of that already so in theory, unconditional love DOES exist.
 2FunCoco
Joined: 5/26/2011
Msg: 154
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/30/2012 7:47:15 AM
Wow! These two got into a heated debate over it but I'd like to point out "Men would like to know generally what women want". We realize that it will vary from woman to woman. But we would all like to think that love will last forever. But love is an action and it takes some action to keep it just like a garden. So what action would it take to get a woman's love or wants?
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 155
view profile
History
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/30/2012 9:39:56 AM
^^^^^ I read these things and you ask what it would take. It seems to me that depends on the woman's past. If a woman was treated unkindly, simple kindness will do, if a woman feels she is never treated good enough, then there is about nothing you can do.

So I guess the "secret" is to get to know the person and find out if what they want is what you got. lol You can't force it, you can't fake it (well for very long anyway) so just be you and let them be them and see if the sparks fly or not. We really do make things way too hard sometimes.
 2FunCoco
Joined: 5/26/2011
Msg: 156
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/30/2012 10:35:36 AM
[qoute] We really do make things way too hard sometimes.[/qoute]

You really do make things way too hard sometimes LOL. I agree.


[qoute]Women usually say the opposite of what they really want. So when they say they don't want a hookup, that means they do, when they say they don't like badboys, that's who they always end up with/are in reality attracted to. It's pretty silly actually.[/qoute]

I agree with you here. Bad boys seem to win over the good boys all the time. Just an observation.
 CapricornAquarius
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 157
What do women really want?
Posted: 11/30/2012 4:14:45 PM
2funcoco,

My initial response to the OP's question was very general.


security, to be loved unconditionally and commitment.


See? As general as it gets. OC wanted to tell me differently. I firmly disagreed with her.

I don't like that we got off topic but I believe in people, still. I am passionate about it. I believe in Good as much a I believe in the Bad but I'd rather focus on the positives, and what's more positive than the ability to love and love and love some more? We've all had our shares of bad experience, some worse than others, but to let it define what's to come will hinder all the great things that are in store for us all.

Do I sound like I am waiting for a fairy tale? Maybe, but I know I'm not the only person in this world who feels this strongly about Love. I can't sit back and let somebody tell me otherwise about what I know is very real. It exists in me. I'm a living, breathing, tax paying human being. How could she say it doesn't exist?
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