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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  >      Home login  
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 17
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Meeting the new boyfriend/girlfriendPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I must admit I am a little conflicted about this kind of scenario. I separated from my daughter's father when she was 6 and did not date til she was 16 and had her own b/f! I am not suggesting that this is the way to go but I had a lot of reflecting and growing to do because of emotional abuse from my ex.

I work with preschoolers, and by and large they are open, resilient and just happy to make new friends. Just because mum or dad says.. 'Hey! This is my friend so-and-so. Lets play!' the child is NOT going to become attached all that fast. As long as mum/dad is a constant.. its all good. I see kiddies attaching to caregivers at work and then forming new attachments as carers leave and are replaced. I know it is not exactly the same but just like us, children have the capacity to like/love a large number of people.

While I do NOT advocate the revolving door thing, I honestly think that the children seeing mum/dad interacting happily with another adult is actually a positive. My SO does not get this and when his 12 year old is around, he does not act as he usually does, ie no spontaneous hugs or touching. I tell him... how do you expect K to form an idea of a normal relationship when you do not act as you normally would around me?

OP I think you probably handled it well. You did not say how long you have been seeing the guy, and I suppose that may have some bearing on things. So tricky. But do NOT feel bad- you have not irreparably damaged your child. Go with your instincts :)
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