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 Helloitsmeyourlookingfor
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 449
You are Hot!!!Page 16 of 43    (3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43)
Okay... let me get this straight.

If I tell your hot in the begining, your offended. If I don't tell you your hot when we've been together for a bit your offended.

*sigh* no wonder we can never get it right!!!!!

Would there be any difference if I used a more age appropriate or romantic choice of words.... beautiful??

Men are visual creatures. Why do you think you women spend so much time putting all that crap on your face? For those that say, because it makes me feel good, why does it make you feel good? Because it increases the liklihood that some dude is going to check you out and think YOUR HOT!!! Yes there are those that do it to compete with other women..... but once again, what are you competing for???

Lets think about all of the things that women can do and what the purpose is... make up to cover those pimples and imperfections, etc., heels to look taller, make for some fake calf muscles, and create the illusion of having a firm ass, girdles, to press that belly in tight ladies, padded bras to make you look bigger than you really are, etc etc etc.
Trust me, the eye candy is all good here, but dont BS yourself by thinking your doing all that crap for yourself. Your doing it to BE HOT!!!!
 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 450
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/21/2012 8:14:09 AM

If I tell your hot in the begining, your offended. If I don't tell you your hot when we've been together for a bit your offended.

*sigh* no wonder we can never get it right!!!!!



LMAO



 rhonda333
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 451
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/21/2012 8:27:38 AM
wow- 21 pages. This thread has a life of its own. I'm very much complimented when somebody- man or woman thinks I'm hot, or even better "sexy". At my age, I'll certainly accept any compliment that comes my way.
 Kariann71
Joined: 4/26/2011
Msg: 452
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/21/2012 8:56:07 AM

Ummm, do yourself a favor and look the word up. You're in for quite a surprise.


Ummmmm, those I call "hun" usually don't think I'm referring to warlike Asians such as Atilla or disparaging any possible German descent (especially since I am German!). It's simply a word that most people recognize as friendly or kind. ;) Now just go with me on this before I have to smack you. LOL
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 453
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/21/2012 9:06:14 AM

I'm a big fan of the word "hun"


Call me old fashioned but I use the word "dear" and "darling"...but I live in Virginia and about everyone uses terms like this on a daily basis.

Back on subject, "you are hot" is a term that has different meanings for different people and different generations. If I said it to a woman in her lower 20's I'd get a different response than a woman in her lower 40's...heck 30's.

In saying that its a case by case situation...not a generalizing sweep like some like to do. It all depends on whom it was said to, and when it was said. I myself don't use it because I'd rather use gorgeous and beautiful...more flattering but I grew up in a different generation...
 YayForBeer
Joined: 9/22/2011
Msg: 454
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History
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/21/2012 9:27:42 AM
I agree that it's kind of juvenile to say "You are hot," or any kind of similar iteration of it. I never message with anything of that sort..

That being said, the women on these dating sites are WAY too uptight. I find myself constantly editing messages before sending them because you can't mention eyes, smile, hair, ANYTHING or else they just ignore you. If you mention anything physical whatsoever, you're tossed into the "just looking for sex" bin.

I read all profiles, and I always mention similar interests, ask how their week is going, etc etc .. but it would be nice to also be able to say something like "You have very pretty eyes," or "You have a wonderful smile" without getting immediately ignored.

I understand that most women on here have an inbox full of ridiculous advances and come on lines, but try to accept a compliment when one is given to you.
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 455
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/21/2012 11:04:23 AM
^^^^
I agree. I sometimes see pictures on women's profiles that I find simply breathtaking, but after reading these forums, am reluctant to mention that in any message I send.

There's no way to tell who is going to be offended and who won't, so I'm guessing that like me, a lot of guys will adjust their messaging to accommodate the most easily offended women.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 456
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History
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/21/2012 11:27:27 AM

I agree. I sometimes see pictures on women's profiles that I find simply breathtaking, but after reading these forums, am reluctant to mention that in any message I send.

There's no way to tell who is going to be offended and who won't, so I'm guessing that like me, a lot of guys will adjust their messaging to accommodate the most easily offended women.


While I understand this in theory, wouldn't it be a good thing to find out right away that she is easily offended
and jumps to conclusions? Wouldn't that in effect tell you that you are not a match?

If a man emails and compliments a woman on her smile, or her eyes, or says he thinks she's beautiful and
she immediately becomes defensive and suspicious, isn't she doing you guys a favor by eliminating herself as a
potential date?

Find the one that knows how to graciously accept a compliment and stop trying to change to please the over-analytical of every bloody thing, he's only saying that to get laid crowd. Nothing you say or do will ever
be above suspicion and the odds of sex being used as a control tactic are pretty damn guaranteed.

I am very grateful that I don't date women after I read threads like this one. It sounds bloody exhausting!!
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 457
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/21/2012 11:36:53 AM

I find myself constantly editing messages before sending them because you can't mention eyes, smile, hair, ANYTHING or else they just ignore you. If you mention anything physical whatsoever, you're tossed into the "just looking for sex" bin.


If you’re being ignored how do you know why you’re being dismissed? You’re just speculating unless women actually tell you that complimenting their smile makes them think you’re just looking for sex.

No offense, but I suggest maybe there are other reasons. Like, they are just not interested.

That seems to be the hardest thing for guys to accept on here.
 adora71
Joined: 2/8/2010
Msg: 458
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/21/2012 9:00:25 PM

Thanks a lot...after this thread I decided to not go the "hot" route and instead when I saw my attractive female neighbor I commented "Hey Ann...you look very post Menopausal".

One of the funniest comments in the thread, I must say. If they were menopausal, they would have hot flashes too, so you could throw in "you look hot because you are having menopausal hot flashes!"

Just to set the men straight, not all women dislike compliments. Most of us like to hear we look nice when we look nice, and I know I don't sweat the word-choice thing too much. Of course, I prefer "pretty" to "hot," but I will take what I can get! However, if a man seems overly focussed on my appearance, I worry that he may be disregarding important information about me as a whole person. There is no surefire way to beat this, so I just have to use my intuition and read his body language--which is difficult to do online.

I guess, if a woman really doesn't like compliments, there is always the option of wearing unflattering clothes, letting her hair get really dirty, and chewing her food with her mouth open.
 NotSeekin
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 459
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History
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/21/2012 9:01:40 PM

... English is not my first language, maybe you should try another language


Ms. Anita, even for those online who do use the same language, it's not interpreted well. Can't really get to know someone online by only chatting & looking at pics. Need to see how they respond to life in a lot of different circumstances, and to hear their voice tones. And to spend quality time w/ them.
However, based on how I read and infer info about some people in the forums, they are the types I would not want to meet.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 460
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/21/2012 9:11:23 PM

If I tell your hot in the begining, your offended. If I don't tell you your hot when we've been together for a bit your offended.

*sigh* no wonder we can never get it right!!!!!


sorry for you :)

Seriously though; there are women that get offended if you open the door for them and women who appreciate it.

There are women that appreciate the compliment if it's not LITERALLY the only thing said; but if a woman is frequently marginalized, they do tend to get pretty thin skin (my daughter is stunning and she literally gets hit on everywhere she goes; and if someone does the up and down in your face head to toe stare; she has threatened to kick them in the well, you know... because it to her is not a compliment, it's a public mental stripping. She HATES it. I will admit while I say thank you for graciously meant compliments; I'm not too fond of those types of looks or comments either (though apparetly the complimenter's sigificant other can take exception too; recently had a man at a gas station who came up to compliment me on my hair literally warned away by a gas station attendent over the loudspeaker to step away from the woman in the red car; it was surreal- he didn't mean anything offensive by it but it offended his wife who was checking out in the gas station, so he probably should have stayed in his car and kept his opinion to himself, though I didn't take it as a comeon at all; just a plain old compliment). So again, the reason, the method and the tone (as well obviously as who it's said to) really do determine how something like that is taken.

So I think the intent of the person really does matter... if it is a kindly meant respectful compliment, cool. If a person is doing a bare bones sleazy proposition, not so much.

It's in not only the eye of the beholder, it's in the delivery of the deliverer... :)
 d2327h
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 461
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/21/2012 9:29:03 PM
It's not necessarily a deal breaker but it's not very original and if it's the very first thing that someone says to me, I find it pretty awkward and uncomfortable. Either the guy is just trolling for sex or he's not very experienced with how to treat a woman. I'm not really interested in either.

It's just not a very serious comment to make and so when I hear it, I think of that sad, drunk loser in every bar that's telling all the women how beautiful they are to see who will give him a ride home...or worse...that silly cartoon character who has the eyes bugging out and tongue flopping around. You really don't want to leave that kind of impression with someone you really want to get to know.

I think it's totally appropriate to comment on someone's looks but there's a classy way to do it and then there's the, "Your hot!" And all the similar variations to that line including some profanity. You know you have been contacted by a real gentleman when he uses profanity.
 foXss
Joined: 4/3/2010
Msg: 462
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/22/2012 1:59:39 AM
Jesus! So many delusional people in here. Not to be a****but many of you here need a wake up call. With faces like yours you should be happy as a child that someone calls you hot.....

And then you wonder why you can never find someone.....
 GenuineGent30
Joined: 2/5/2012
Msg: 463
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/22/2012 2:04:42 AM
I find it disrespectful myself. If a person can't find a more articulate way to tell a woman how attractive she is, then how can they possibly keep up conversations throughout the course of a relationship and marriage. Hot & Sexy to me just means you want to have sex. Beautiful, Gorgeous, Stunning, Adorable, Lovely, etc means that you admire someone's appearance.
 foXss
Joined: 4/3/2010
Msg: 465
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/22/2012 3:27:15 AM
Haha, what in hell does "youth" or other things you said have to do with what I said?!?!?! I'm just pointing out that some of you here gotta join the real world.

"Oh noes, he called me hot, I gotta stop talking to him"

What?!?!
 Helloitsmeyourlookingfor
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 467
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/22/2012 6:11:56 AM
Moon your are correct. It is the intent. Sometimes a compliment is just that, a compliment. No strings attached. Whatever happened to just try and make someone smile in this world, brighten up someone's day. My girl should never get jealous (and she does not) because I recognize beauty in the world, be it the fine looks of a woman, a cute puppy, a boquet of flowers, etc. Actually I have never went up to a woman who was a stranger and used the phrase "hot" . I have used other phrases that are more classy (being a guy my thoughts may be somewhere else but it is our actions not our thoughts that define us).
Foxss perhaps one day you will mature and find beauty to be a little more refined. It comes in more forms than that of "the face"... the picture of 3ffer doing something with her best friend and others doing what appears to be a community project, moonbeam with her pretty blues and suttle smile, d2327 with a bright smile from ear to ear showing off her pearly whites. You will be lucky to have quality features that someone can compliment in your forties. Careful throwing stones in glass houses.
It's not hard to find "hotness" aka beauty in someone. Sometimes it is the smile that lights up the room, sometimes it comes in the form of an azz that you can bounce a quarter off of, or legs that go on forever, but most often it is the unique mannerism that only one person perceives as "hot" and others will be oblivious to. These are the things that make us unique. At the end of the day, it is that "hotness" that we look for in our mate to sustain our relationship and grow old together.
And I agree it is the delivery of the deliverer...... Your hot vs. Your smile is radiant, and I say that because it makes me feel like you are a genuine person and naturally happy. .... wonder which one gets the response???
 Helloitsmeyourlookingfor
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 468
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/22/2012 6:13:18 AM

ask any 40+ guy... Your abs will not be what defines you then.


Yes they do..... just not the definition I was looking for :)
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 469
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/22/2012 6:58:52 AM
Seriously though; there are women that get offended if you open the door for them and women who appreciate it. ... It's in not only the eye of the beholder, it's in the delivery of the deliverer... :)

Very well said. So many people on here think it's the ONLY thing said. Hello -- chatting for 3 weeks, and it's tossed out there 3 times -- that's not the ONLY thing said. Some people freak out due to certain words -- and sometimes the context of a compliment (the "delivery") about their appearance coming across blatant, even if after getting to know about them after a while, can give the 'ol "Well I never!" response.

Some people are just uptight biddies. Some, as you point out, get whistled at, gawked at, etc., which understandably makes them more sensitive, and can sometimes make them such uptight folk... but usually instead, not offended but their interest mildly turned down a level, if that delivery is too giddy/emotional/etc. So in the end, yes, it's good 'game' for a guy not to just throw that out there after talking for a while, even though most women aren't going to be insulted or offended -- it will more often than not psychologically affect them if they are really great looking and they've heard it umpteen times before. Some like compliments, some HATE compliments... and some just HATE compliments about their looks.

But in the end, for any gal who's literally offended by a guy, AFTER talking for a while, to throw out a blatant compliment on their physical appearance -- lighten the hell up. :)
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 470
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/22/2012 7:21:53 AM
1. While I do appreciate "you're hot" coming from a guy I've been dating - and I dole it out just as much, I'm not offended if it comes from someone I don't know at all. It's just not going to do more than amuse me. There won't be any points had for it. There are also no points taken away from someone I'm with for not saying it.

2. I'm not the kind of person who lives by the compliments or insults of others. The comments in this thread telling women they should feel lucky or thankful they are getting compliments would suggest that someone's else's opinion of them should matter. It really shouldn't. Nor should their opinion of you matter, at least not personally.

3. Compliments for the sake of them are great. I wish more people did exchange greetings/compliments for the pure enjoyment of making someone's day. However the percentage of men who think you're hot and will actually tell you that without expecting anything back (even a thank you) is typically pretty low. For the men who do compliment someone they find attractive purely out of generosity, you have to realize that most of the time there's an agenda. You may not have one, but you're far and few between.

4. Lastly, as I mentioned once or twice before, sometimes women don't necessarily want to hear anything either way. If you appreciate her looks, then by all means do so. Thinking she actually wants to know this is a crapshoot, and there's not much of an argument for why you would proceed to inform her. So asking if she would rather hear something different assumes she wants to hear anything at all - and in a lot of cases, that's just not accurate.

P.S. We should all open doors for others, it's just common courtesy - women don't deserve it any more than men, children, elders. Thanking someone for doing so is also something to be appreciated, not expected. If you open doors for people do so because that's who you are - regardless of the outcome.
 gtr1025
Joined: 3/5/2010
Msg: 471
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/22/2012 7:34:13 AM

Compliments for the sake of them are great. I wish more people did exchange greetings/compliments for the pure enjoyment of making someone's day. However the percentage of men who think you're hot and will actually tell you that without expecting anything back (even a thank you) is typically pretty low.


I fall into this "low" category. I'll compliment a woman on her hair, eyes, smile, etc. I usually try to be specific but I expect nothing in return. Like on here, I will message someone with a compliment, if I hear back, great! If not, that is Ok, I hope I made her smile or put a little spring in her step!

I do not think it is at all wrong to compliment someone on their looks or accomplishments but it needs to be done tastefully. Using "You are hot!!!" is something I would reserve for the one I'm dating or maybe a very good friend. My take on this is that, a lot of women perceive it as a man is totally hitting on them. Not all men are pigs! lol Sometimes it is nice to be nice to someone else. Like giving a gift and expecting nothing in return, those gifts are the best!

So, Smile and the world will smile back!
 Kariann71
Joined: 4/26/2011
Msg: 473
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/22/2012 7:48:13 AM
People seriously need to lighten up and not turn everything into a negative. A person calls you "hot", you say thank you and move on with life. Is it as nice a compliment as "You're stunning" or "You're beautiful"? Perhaps not, but it's still a compliment not paid in a disrespectful manner. It's not as though they said "Hey, nice tits!". A person opens the door for you, you thank them - whether male or female. It's no wonder so many men are hesitant to be chivalrous or complimenting these days. These same people who piss and moan about being called "hot" and having doors opened for them will be the same ones who piss and moan someday when everyone stops being polite and paying compliments.
 d2327h
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 474
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/22/2012 10:12:25 AM
"oh noes! I reached deep in my toolbox and pulled out a shirtless pic and 'Damn, baby yer hawt' coupon and got shot down! "

Maybe pof women aren't classy enough for you? There's always the truck stop, dear. Don't give up!
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 475
view profile
History
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/22/2012 10:18:37 AM
2. I'm not the kind of person who lives by the compliments or insults of others. The comments in this thread telling women they should feel lucky or thankful they are getting compliments would suggest that someone's else's opinion of them should matter. It really shouldn't. Nor should their opinion of you matter, at least not personally.


Well said WIP, just because someone has decided that their opinion needs to be voiced, it doesnt automatically mean that the reciever owes them some sort of gratuity for their random thought.



4. Lastly, as I mentioned once or twice before, sometimes women don't necessarily want to hear anything either way. If you appreciate her looks, then by all means do so. Thinking she actually wants to know this is a crapshoot, and there's not much of an argument for why you would proceed to inform her. So asking if she would rather hear something different assumes she wants to hear anything at all - and in a lot of cases, that's just not accurate.


Why do women have to be so accomodating to this kind of behavior? Why cant I decide what I will find acceptable or not? How come random strangers get to decide what my reaction should be? Why do I always have to be kind and be mindful of his feelings but ignore my personal comfort and wishes or I am ungrateful or nasty?

Is it any wonder that so many young women have trouble establishing personal boundaries and struggle to be direct to unwanted attention? Apparently because some man blurts out a thought, the target of that random thought now owes him some sort of validation for his blurting out of a thought or she is a ****, nasty, rude or unpleasant.

TBH, I could care less if I never recieve another compliment in my life, I am not so starved for validation that I need to hear these things.
 d2327h
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 476
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/22/2012 10:25:32 AM
I respectfully disagree. If you have time on your hands to correspond with everyone then by all means do so. But why waste time and inbox space with those messages when there are plenty of men here who can crank out a coherent and interesting message? Like it or not, online dating is like interviewing. Make yourself look as good as you can.
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