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 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 537
You are Hot!!!Page 19 of 43    (3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43)

Newflash: Any man who compliments you wants to bang you, yet somehow it matters how he's saying it.

I believe this, and it's why when I'm complimented on my looks by a man I don't know - I have to try not to roll my eyes. To me it doesn't matter how you say it - it's almost never without an expectation of a certain outcome. The only way I'll believe a man gives those compliments for the sake of it is if they also give men the same compliments.

If I'm already sleeping with someone and there's no reason to try and get it from me, then I'll appreciate someone telling me I am hot, attractive, sexy, whatever as genuine.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 538
view profile
History
Called Hot but nothing to burn?
Posted: 5/29/2012 6:19:29 AM
"However, since it's not, I pointed out who uses the term and why."

I am a man and I use the term hot or other flowery language if I deem it necessary. Timing is everything in my opinion.
 mimco88
Joined: 5/14/2012
Msg: 539
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/29/2012 6:42:38 AM
if you dont want men telling you that your hot then dont have pictures up in tiny red dressed and high heels
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 540
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/29/2012 7:22:24 AM

To me it doesn't matter how you say it - it's almost never without an expectation of a certain outcome.

Because I think it's generic. Good 'game' a guy can have is not to compliment a gal on calling her beautiful, hot, gorgeous, etc... instead compliment on little things that guys don't... her earrings, her (non-short) skirt, hairstyle, etc. That won't be mistaken as fake compliments.

If I'm already sleeping with someone and there's no reason to try and get it from me, then I'll appreciate someone telling me I am hot, attractive, sexy, whatever as genuine.

I think that's why I am a bit perplexed at why some freak out about this thread topic, though. If two people have been talking for 3 weeks, and 3 of those are tossed out there, sure, not a wise thing by him, but talking for 3 weeks obviously shows it's not just compliment-ridden... and if you've been talking for a while, it is more genuine than first emails or whatnot. Maybe not as good as if you've been seeing each other for a while or already slept together, but it's still different than meeting a stranger at a bar or initial emails.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 541
view profile
History
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/29/2012 8:30:31 AM
"Because I think it's generic. Good 'game' a guy can have is not to compliment a gal on calling her beautiful, hot, gorgeous, etc... instead compliment on little things that guys don't... her earrings, her (non-short) skirt, hairstyle, etc. That won't be mistaken as fake compliments."

I don't agree at all.

Men are conditioned to be direct, assertive, and to lead with aggressiveness. Subtlety is nice in an established relationship, but to a stranger it may come off as commentary more so than a compliment.

"Hello, I like the choice of earrings as they match your dress and your shoes"

To any man or woman, it doesn't show interest in a woman sexually or romantically with such a "compliment". When you tell a woman is hot you find them attractive. It's as simple as that.

Don't let some of the women in this thread bog you down from the reality, by creating a mist of evenloping murkiness that clouds the senses. Men are conditioned to keep it simple, direct, and genuinely real.

Subtletly, and underhandedness is what players thrive one by the way, or the guys that pretend to be nice guys.
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 542
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/29/2012 8:33:43 AM


Because I think it's generic. Good 'game' a guy can have is not to compliment a gal on calling her beautiful, hot, gorgeous, etc... instead compliment on little things that guys don't... her earrings, her (non-short) skirt, hairstyle, etc. That won't be mistaken as fake compliments.


If the woman digs you, it won't matter what you compliment. I was at a Cinco De Mayo party a few weeks ago, and a woman asked me if I had a lighter. I said to her "no, but damn, you're pretty." After that, she asked me to dance.

Things don't always have to be so complicated.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 543
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 9:13:18 AM
Men are conditioned to be direct, assertive, and to lead with aggressiveness. Subtlety is nice in an established relationship, but to a stranger it may come off as commentary more so than a compliment.

And women want a guy to be assertive, although it varies from woman to woman as far as (the vague term) aggressiveness is concerned. But throwing out a generic that they hear all the time -- that's every guy. That doesn't mean it won't work, and I emphasize that. However, especially online, when they most definitely do hear that type of stuff a lot, where a cute gal will suddenly be like the hot chick at the bar with the shortest skirt -- it's going to have a much less chance of effectiveness. At best, it will be benign, no harm.

But complimenting things that other guys don't does show genuineness, and shows they're looking beyond the mere surface. And being direct & assertive as far as asking them to meet up, for their #, etc., that doesn't require pouring over compliments. Those are two different things.

"Hello, I like the choice of earrings as they match your dress and your shoes"

I wouldn't say that's a good way of putting the compliment. Anyway, my point is -- don't be like every other guy, when it comes to a gal who's going to get more than her fair share of attention, lookers, gawkers, etc. It doesn't mean the ONLY compliment is telling her she has nice earrings... nor is it ever limited to that. Being more specific about what looks good about her shows genuineness, rather than a blanketed term that average-Joe behind you just blurted out.

If the woman digs you, it won't matter what you compliment.

That's true for a vast majority, I agree. But many times, they haven't begun to dig you yet. But they can.

a woman asked me if I had a lighter. I said to her "no, but damn, you're pretty." After that, she asked me to dance.

Like I said, I'm not saying a blanketed compliment never or rarely works. It's about potentiality of tripping off an alarm (subtle or big). And at a party, in that context, that isn't quite the same as you going up to a gal everyone's taking an eye on at a sausage-fest tavern and saying "You have a lighter?" "No, I don't" "Okay, I forgive you, but damn, you're hot." Now, would that always fail? No. But it's a different situation & application -- gives a different impression, and would fail much more of the time.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 544
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 9:16:29 AM

a woman asked me if I had a lighter. I said to her "no, but damn, you're pretty." After that, she asked me to dance.

Like I said, I'm not saying a blanketed compliment never or rarely works. It's about potentiality of tripping off an alarm (subtle or big). And at a party, in that context, that isn't quite the same as you going up to her and saying "You have a lighter?" "No, I don't" "Okay, I forgive you, but damn, you're hot." Now, would that always fail? No. But it's a different situation & application -- gives a different impression


actually, his compliment was a refreshing one. It meant she was attractive; not that she was sexually titillating (which is what "you're hot" kind of is saying)

He was complimenting her looks in a kind of sweet way. I am not surprised actually that it worked... even if he is claiming in other threads he's the sexiest poster lol).


VV

I know you were tweaking them on their typo; I laughed when I saw it. I was just tweaking you back :)
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 545
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 9:30:10 AM

And at a party, in that context, that isn't quite the same as you going up to a gal everyone's taking an eye on at a sausage-fest tavern


The party was at a huge bar here in town. But anyway, I'm a no-nonsense, cut to the chase kind of person. If a woman so much as smiles at me, I'm on it and make my interest known immediately.


even if he is claiming in other threads he's the sexiest poster lol).


hahaha, that's not exactly what I said. The dude made a typo, and I ran with it.
 LaffingBear
Joined: 5/25/2012
Msg: 546
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 9:43:09 AM
anita ... I can see how this could be insulting. I feel that personal comments on one's appearance should wait until after meeting someone. And, one more thing, you know what you value and what you want and the expectations that you have in others, I hope that you will not compromise and will stay faithful to your own self, as it is your life and future for which you live.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 547
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 9:47:05 AM
Would you prefer: "Eh! I guess you're okay."?


I'm not interested in dating anyone I don't find more than just passingly attractive. (In addition to being attractive on the inside.) Expressing that in a way that she appreciates can be a challenge. Some women don't like to be referred to as sexy by a man she's just met, or hot... But others are insulted by being called cute. And others feel that beautiful and stunning are over the top and disingenuous. If you don't compliment at all, others feel you aren't interested. Damned if you do. Damned if you don't. lol
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 548
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 10:24:27 AM
So………you see a woman you’re attracted to and would like to have sex with. Would you approach her with, ‘Hey, I wanna pork you right now’ ?

Give women what we want and you might end up getting what you want.

Or some guys can keep crying why? why? why? won’t women answer my ‘ur hot’ messages? and, I shouldn’t have to do anything to get a woman! (stamp feet with lip pout and arms crossed)
 Lks2bhappy
Joined: 5/16/2012
Msg: 549
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 10:28:33 AM
why would you find it insulting its a compliment losen up
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 550
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 10:59:16 AM

I believe this, and it's why when I'm complimented on my looks by a man I don't know - I have to try not to roll my eyes. To me it doesn't matter how you say it - it's almost never without an expectation of a certain outcome. The only way I'll believe a man gives those compliments for the sake of it is if they also give men the same compliments.


No offense, but quotes like that are a big reason why you have to turn to a website like this. Men are perfectly capable of being able to give a girl a compliment on her looks with absolutely no intention of wanting to get laid.

Your problem is that you confuse someone complimenting how you look with trying to get you naked. If you keep thinking the way you do, it's going to be very hard for you to actually meet a man worth staying with for life.

You girls need to get this idea that all guys are only looking to get laid out of your head. Yeah, it's true that guys tend to initially act out of a physical attraction than anything else, but that physical attraction doesn't necessarily mean only sex. It also doesn't mean that they guy is only interested in you for sex. It's basically following the same idea as how it's insanely unlikely that you'd give me the chance to date you because I don't fit how you want your ideal person to look.

"You're hot" is just a compliment on your looks. Trying to get laid would probably be something more like "lets go have sex". Unlike women, guys are VERY straight forward on what we're thinking. If we're just trying to get laid, you'll know, it'll just be THAT obvious.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 551
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 11:16:04 AM
I understand, rockstar, what you are saying. However as a woman (and not an attractive one at that) I do get a lot of "you're hot" messages. When I first started online dating I really tried to be nice and answer them. Unfortunately, most of them were followed up with requested for sex or for me to send boob shots. So what we are trying to to you is that, like Pavlov's dogs, women have been conditioned to not look kindly at "you're hot" messages in their inbox.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 552
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 11:28:43 AM

I understand, rockstar, what you are saying. However as a woman (and not an attractive one at that) I do get a lot of "you're hot" messages. When I first started online dating I really tried to be nice and answer them. Unfortunately, most of them were followed up with requested for sex or for me to send boob shots. So what we are trying to to you is that, like Pavlov's dogs, women have been conditioned to not look kindly at "you're hot" messages in their inbox


this is neither here nor there, but you are quite pretty; not quite sure why you think you are unattractive...


(sorry, just had to throw that in).


carry on.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 553
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 11:29:08 AM
You girls need to get this idea that all guys are only looking to get laid out of your head. Yeah, it's true that guys tend to initially act out of a physical attraction than anything else, but that physical attraction doesn't necessarily mean only sex.


^^^

Maybe to you but for us females, most and I said MOST, of these 'you're hot' compliments truly do stem from wanting to get laid. Therefore we would be naive to get the idea that all guys are looking to get laid out of our heads.

Blame the horny guys and their "You're hot" comments. Don't blame us. Sheesh *rolls eyes*
As least for us, thanks to the comment, we know how to differentiate the boys from the gentlemen. *snicker
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 554
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 11:35:50 AM
Don't squeeze the Charmin.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 555
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 1:54:49 PM

Unlike women, guys are VERY straight forward on what we're thinking. If we're just trying to get laid, you'll know, it'll just be THAT obvious.


Really? How many men have propositioned you for sex?

I think women are better judges of THAT.



ETA

thebugisback, you’re lovely.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 556
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 2:30:50 PM
Thank you Moonbeam and fleuron. I should have worded that differently.

Come on guys. Seriously I am 56 and fat. Why are great looking men (mostly younger) emailing me saying "You're Hot"?
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 557
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 2:33:29 PM
^^^ ms bug u r sweet & cute do not put urself down...and u love cats! 3 thumbs up!
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 558
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 3:38:29 PM
Come on guys. Seriously I am 56 and fat. Why are great looking men (mostly younger) emailing me saying "You're Hot"?


Oh come on Bug, you're HOT. (ducks to avoid any heavy objects flying in my direction ).
I can (hopefully) get away with that, I've known Bug for years now, she knows I'm just being a brat (I fully expect to get called that next time we chat. Though she is cute, intelligent, a sweetheart, and loves cats... and, ok, I'm biased ).

Seriously though, even I would say any guy emailing that is clueless. I could maybe see if you were in a relationship, going to a more 'dress up' occasion, and she puts on something that stuns you, saying "you look hot in that dress"... heck, even on your first meet (in person!) "you're hotter in person than your pictures" might be a compliment, but seriously, as an opening line, in an email?? Corny and totally transparent. Maybe it doesn't mean "he's only interested in sex", but quite honestly it sure as heck means he has no clue when it comes to women (although, honestly, having been here quite a while, that doesn't surprise me at all).
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 559
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 5:03:51 PM

No offense, but quotes like that are a big reason why you have to turn to a website like this. Men are perfectly capable of being able to give a girl a compliment on her looks with absolutely no intention of wanting to get laid.

What have I ever turned to this website for besides the forums? How do you know I am single and that I don't date offline? And who said anything about men wanting to get laid? Sounds like a lot of guessing about me with no idea what I'm saying or what I'm about.

Your problem is that you confuse someone complimenting how you look with trying to get you naked. If you keep thinking the way you do, it's going to be very hard for you to actually meet a man worth staying with for life.

You must have seen that, but I didn't post it. And I got news for you - I've met and dated many men - despite not looking or caring whether I'm single or not. You must have me pegged for one of those women who has to find someone, and wants marriage and kids and all that crap. You must be new here.

You girls need to get this idea that all guys are only looking to get laid out of your head. Yeah, it's true that guys tend to initially act out of a physical attraction than anything else, but that physical attraction doesn't necessarily mean only sex. It also doesn't mean that they guy is only interested in you for sex. It's basically following the same idea as how it's insanely unlikely that you'd give me the chance to date you because I don't fit how you want your ideal person to look.

I'd respond to this, but it's a quote based on a projection that comes from something I never said, so yeah.

"You're hot" is just a compliment on your looks. Trying to get laid would probably be something more like "lets go have sex". Unlike women, guys are VERY straight forward on what we're thinking. If we're just trying to get laid, you'll know, it'll just be THAT obvious.

Get off the getting laid thing - sheesh. Do you want to get laid? If not I have no idea where else you'd get that from. HOWEVER - very few men JUST compliments a woman on her looks without the expectation of something. Namely, conversation, attention, a phone number, further contact, perhaps a date - and according to you - to get laid.
 Gertrude13
Joined: 5/14/2012
Msg: 560
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 5:40:41 PM

"You're hot. Shoe me yur bewbs now." It's more than one sentence!
.


LMAO! Oh, my. I do b'leive I shall swoon...

BUT

You are clearly an impostor, sir! Your spelling gave you away...Let me help you.

"YOUR HOT!!!!! CAN I SEE YR TITS????"

See what I did there? Everyone knows there is no such thing as "you're," and that bewbs is far too many letters to type, so tits it is! Also, if they yell really loud, the woman is MUCH more likely to rip her clothes off immediately! Mmmmm...Gotta love that primal stuff, yes?

Har.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 561
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 5/30/2012 7:18:32 PM

actually, his compliment was a refreshing one.

I wasn't knocking his compliment, actually at all -- I was pointing out how a blanketed compliment depends on the context & situation, hence my example where a blanketed overused compliment would be less effective.

But anyway, I'm a no-nonsense, cut to the chase kind of person. If a woman so much as smiles at me, I'm on it and make my interest known immediately.

And there's no argument or issue against that. It's just about the delivery where a blanketed compliment may or may not be the wisest. Feeding off the word itself in an overused way, in an overly common situation is the less effective. The only reason I point that out? Well, that's where the uptight women will cry foul. And using a more specific compliment about them isn't nonsense either (unless it's completely made up).

Your problem is that you confuse someone complimenting how you look with trying to get you naked.

Yes. It's called guilt by association. It's emotionally driven. It's throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Fair, sound, and a just judgment call? No. But then again, in a lot more minor ways, a lot of people (unfortunately) are with strangers. Of course, what gets me about this thread topic specifically -- it's not even about strangers. It's about a guy one's been chatting with for some time. You would figure one's application of guilt by association would be more at ease when it comes to an even generic compliment thrown out at some point.

I understand, rockstar, what you are saying. However as a woman (and not an attractive one at that) I do get a lot of "you're hot" messages.

But of course, the thread isn't about that, though. I would say that if that's the ONLY thing said in an initial message, yes, you are wise to step away from that vehicle (as just a mere "Hey whats up" message). But there are many different situations in which a compliment can be thrown out. I don't think it's asked that when bantering with someone that you should LIKE an overused compliment, but I think the point is -- don't take it to mean the guy's just trying to bang you and run. :)

So what we are trying to to you is that, like Pavlov's dogs, women have been conditioned to not look kindly at "you're hot" messages in their inbox.

Again, that's not the thread topic, though. That's a completely different story than after having an ongoing conversation in which, yes, over some time, it's thrown out there. My argument is that upon initial interaction in person, a more specific compliment in most common situations is the best, and that in the online realm, holding off on blanketed compliments which are fired off willy-nilly amongst many others, even though most women are not going to be freaked out (but hey, some want to have a hair trigger).
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