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 Dreamer_in_SC
Joined: 6/13/2011
Msg: 832
You are Hot!!!Page 30 of 43    (3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43)

That’s assuming she bothers responding at all. We’re not stupid, FFS. ‘Some’ women know that is leading nowhere we want to go.


I think i get what you are saying now... the normal is a conversation listing "You are hot" is more likely to head to the "What color are your panties?" and then move to the "Can I see them?"

Instead of discussing something with more substance to it, like many of us do here in the forums.

That is an easy fix though.... only go for the people in the forums that line up with what you want and agree with and that leaves the other side of the site for the physical aspects... The forums section is where minds meet, the profile sections are where eyes meet and its all about who has the best pictures. This section it is all about who can string words together in coherent enough statements to at least give the illusion of intelligent thought patterns.

If you run into someone on the profile side of the site then drag them over to the forums to be able to lift the top of their head off to peek inside. If all they are capable of is throwing up incoherent babble just before hitting post..... then their brain is not hot..lol

Most of the smartest (at least my opinion of smart) women that I have ran into have been the ones that I have communicated with on these forums because then I have more than just a picture and a few pieces of textual banter to base an assumption of intelligence on.

just my opinions at least
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 833
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/19/2012 11:45:38 AM

Well I think long hair is hot and i used to compliment those ladies that I would notice had long hair.

I have a few times been ignored after making a comment about their hair.

I got the impression they were thinking i was being superficial about it and that might be why someone would have an issue with this whole you are hot stuff.


I don't know how you said it; but when I had the guy come up to me at the gas station and tell me he'd had six drinks and when you have six drinks you have to be honest; and he decided he needed to tell me I had the prettiest hair he'd ever seen...

I didn't take it as a comeon; I took it as he liked my hair. It was not a precursor to a conversation, it was a statement that he wanted to make; I said thank you very much and I liked the song he sang at karaoke; and that was that; till the gas station attendant over the loud speaker told the gentlemen in the black coat to get away from the woman in the red car; he could truthfully say to her (and his wife, who was apparently next to the gas station attendant watching the exchange) that he was not hitting on me. He was just commenting on my hair.

He truly did not mean anything by it; it was a straight up compliment, I took it as such, I wished him well, they paid for their gas and went home. So I didn't take it as he was trying to get something from me. I didn't take it as anything but a straight comment on his opinion on my hair. Not everyone likes it; he did; he wanted to say it; no harm no foul.

That was way different than "hey, i've had six drinks and need to tell you you're hot".

THAT would have felt like a comeon.

To me there is a distinction.
 Dreamer_in_SC
Joined: 6/13/2011
Msg: 834
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/19/2012 1:48:18 PM

"What color are your panties?"

I've asked that question and just like ``you are hot,'' timing is everything. What you say is less important than when you say it. You can say just about anything, if you know that it will be taken in the way it's intended.


so what you are saying is we should do a pantie check from the ladies in this thread?

Like a form to fill out?

style=
cut=
color=
material =
thread count=

or maybe that would seem like panties would be hijacking the thread? Best to make sure they are HOT panties

ok damn sorry my timing must be off
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 835
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/19/2012 1:54:25 PM
^^

the form will not work with all of us. You'd need an answer for those who none of those would be appropriate.


you're better off sticking to complimenting the women you like on their hair
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 836
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/19/2012 1:57:46 PM

Everyone woman that I have ever been with thrived ont he knowledge that i found her attractive even if she had days that she herself didn't see herself as attractive.

When you're already dating? Of course we like to hear it. "Thrive" is a bit of a strong word, but nonetheless...as has been said before, it's different than hearing it from someone you're not dating already.

It's like you know my guy. Perfect words. You know EXACTLY what you're talking about.

Mine too. I agree.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 837
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/19/2012 2:02:42 PM
abelian:
timing is everything. You can say just about anything, if you know that it will be taken in the way it's intended
It may not always go as intended.. but if you get the timing right, that's half the battle.

And Dreamer, just use your imagination, that's part of the beauty of these forums too, lol..
 trenasophie
Joined: 7/7/2011
Msg: 838
view profile
History
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/19/2012 3:04:45 PM
Me too... heck I'm 60 years old... not hot, just withered!
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 839
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/19/2012 4:11:16 PM

I think i get what you are saying now... the normal is a conversation listing "You are hot" is more likely to head to the "What color are your panties?" and then move to the "Can I see them?"

Instead of discussing something with more substance to it, like many of us do here in the forums.


Bra cup size, you for got her bra cup size - just about every women I've ever chatted with on here has gotten that one. And yes, their reaction was that it made them, um, less than interested (as in "block/delete").


Like a form to fill out?

style=
cut=
color=
material =
thread count=


Well, if you're gonna do that, add in the same for Bra, plus you need an option for "wearing any?"

Of course, me being an at least semi-intelligent person knows that if we develop an actual relationship from chatting (without me turning her into a sexual object with questions about her undergarments right off the bat), I'll probably find out the answer to those questions, in person, at some point. And isn't that the better option?
 troynm
Joined: 5/19/2010
Msg: 840
view profile
History
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/19/2012 5:13:50 PM
Someone who reads anything into "you are hot" other than the exact meaning of those words really needs help. I can't imagine why anyone would equate that with a request for sex. I'm sorry, but that's nuts, and some people need to be a bit more realistic than speculating over stuff that no one said.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 841
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/19/2012 9:25:45 PM

I think i get what you are saying now... the normal is a conversation listing "You are hot" is more likely to head to the "What color are your panties?" and then move to the "Can I see them?"


Yes. Thank you. They can TRY that. But it’s not happening with me.


Instead of discussing something with more substance to it, like many of us do here in the forums.


Of course. When I’ve got men messaging me who present themselves as genuinely interested in ME, why should I bother with those who appear to see me as a sex toy and some kind of momentary amusement?

If there’s a good chance a guy doesn’t actually want to talk to me, what would motivate him to bother telling me I’m hot or anything else? I don’t care what some guy thinks about the way I look to him, especially if he has no intention of having a real conversation with me. And if a man DOES want to have a conversation with me, I have the brains to recognize that he probably finds me attractive.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 842
view profile
History
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/19/2012 11:06:12 PM

And if a man DOES want to have a conversation with me, I have the brains to recognize that he probably finds me attractive.


Logical and straight to the point. Way to use your neurons Fleuron(s).
 trinitytrinitytrinity
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 843
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/20/2012 12:35:57 AM
that's absolutely fine with me. wouldn't prefer hot over beautiful but, it wouldn't bother me.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 844
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/20/2012 6:05:41 AM

No, that's only half of how you function socially. The other half involves talking to people in a way that doesn't result in producing negative or hostile reactions. You can be as non-judgmental as you wish, but if you insist on talking to people with no regard as to how they'll respond or you insist on people reacting in the way you want them react in spite of your poor choice in what to say or how to say it, you are NOT functioniing socially. If you have any social grace whatsoever, you talk to people in a way that makes allowances for how your words might be understood or misunderstood.


This whole thread isn't just about "you're hot", it's about getting any compliment at all.

If a girl has blue hair, I'm going to tell her that it looks awesome. It doesn't mean I'm trying to bang her.

A lot of you are single and on here for a reason. Don't try to claim to be the picture of social perfection. For a lot of you, your huge flaw is the complete inability to differentiate between a compliment and trying to **** someone.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 845
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/20/2012 6:16:55 AM
Logical and straight to the point. Way to use your neurons Fleuron(s).


Haha, the cool Dawg strikes again


This whole thread isn't just about "you're hot"

Judging from the thread title however, it should be... ;-)


A lot of you are single and on here for a reason. Don't try to claim to be the picture of social perfection. For a lot of you, your huge flaw is the complete inability to differentiate between a compliment and trying to **** someone.


Just so I can claim to be different (I just LOVE that lol) I AM the picture of social perfection... :devil:. My huge flaw is my complete inability to differentiate between a compliment and trying to **** someone...and saying yes to this last one ;-)
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 846
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/20/2012 6:22:14 AM
There have been a few times that I've heard from men who told me I was hot---where I actually liked their profile and pictures enough to engage them. I found it didn't work---most of their replies consisted two or three-word answers to my questions. Eventually, I got frustrated with them and cut them off.

I remember telling one guy, "At the rate we're going, it would probably take us about 2.5 weeks of daily three-word emails to get to anything substantive. Unfortunately, I'm not that patient, and this just isn't my conversational style. It's been nice talking to you, but I don't think we'd be a good match. Adios."

After that, he attempted to pick up the conversational ball, but by then it was too late.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 847
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/20/2012 7:03:36 AM

If there’s a good chance a guy doesn’t actually want to talk to me, what would motivate him to bother telling me I’m hot or anything else? I don’t care what some guy thinks about the way I look to him, especially if he has no intention of having a real conversation with me. And if a man DOES want to have a conversation with me, I have the brains to recognize that he probably finds me attractive.

Fleuron, you know they don't like logic in here. Stop making sense.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 848
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/20/2012 7:14:42 AM
I swear... next girl that makes a comment on my eyes, I'm gonna tear into her for not really meaning the compliment, but that she's just trying to get me to date / bang her.
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 849
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/20/2012 7:33:47 AM
I personally don't believe that telling a woman you don't know that she's hot is anything but a misguided attempt to get into her pants and that all of the protests to the contrary are rqually self serving.


No, it's not. A girl can be hot and I have absolutely no interest in ****ing her, ever.

It's crazy, but some people out in the real world, can actually give a complement, and have it mean nothing more than that.

Again, something is seriously wrong with people today.

And what you're not grasping, my problem isn't if she has a problem or not, it's the reaction. If I complement a girl on how she looks, that's not an invitation to flip out on me because all I'm looking for is sex.

FFS, grow up. This obsession with the idea that guys are only looking for sex needs to end. And maybe YOU fit that description, but most of us don't. Most of us think with a lot more than our dick.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 850
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/20/2012 7:39:02 AM

And what you're not grasping, my problem isn't if she has a problem or not, it's the reaction. If I complement a girl on how she looks, that's not an invitation to flip out on me because all I'm looking for is sex.


Realize that whatever you say to another person, they are also entitled to take it anywhere they want. If you do not want someone to misunderstand you, then don't say what you know for a fact will turn them off.

There are ways to complement a woman, without objectifying her and giving her the impression that all you want is sex. Actually one of the best tactics to get sex is to completely ignore her sexual side and completely down play it as if you can care less. If you want to give attractive women a complement, complement her on her choices not her looks.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 851
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/20/2012 7:39:06 AM
I won't ask for the 107th time why men go from thinking someone's hot to telling them they are. It's presumptuous, but I digress.

No, it's not. A girl can be hot and I have absolutely no interest in ****ing her, ever.

So you'd privately regard her as hot and go on with your life, hopefully.

It's crazy, but some people out in the real world, can actually give a complement, and have it mean nothing more than that.

They can, and I've seen it - unfortunately I haven't seen it frequently. I see very few men give a compliment and walk away - most try to follow it up with conversation.

And what you're not grasping, my problem isn't if she has a problem or not, it's the reaction. If I complement a girl on how she looks, that's not an invitation to flip out on me because all I'm looking for is sex.

Did someone flip out on you? Because from what I can see, no one that I can recall is saying they would do that here - nor have they said that they have. Some have said they assumed it was because of that, but never said anything about "flipping out".
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 852
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/20/2012 8:15:04 AM
Being pissed off that such comments are taken the wrong way is just the result of being frustrated because people aren't supposed to be smart enough to see through a line of bs. Any real compliment doesn't require gratitude or anmything else.

^^^^^^^^^^^


This whole thread isn't just about "you're hot", it's about getting any compliment at all.

It's more about unnecessary compliments, contrived compliments, abject flattery disguised as a compliments, and other kinds of compliments that often come with an agenda. It's also about the presumptuous attitudes some people have about handing out such compliments so freely to a less-than-appreciative audience. There are hot women out there who have an opinion that's contrary to yours, and they think your precious "compliments" are uninspiring at best or manipulative at worst. Tragic, I KNOW.

Did you think all the hot women of the world were completely oblivious to the ridiculous power they have over the fawning men in their orbit? You thought you were doing hot women a huge favor by joining the peanut gallery and pointing out the obvious. That's the only thing that would explain why you feel so entitled to their appreciation after hearing your brand of patently transparent sucking up.

For every woman out there who sees "you're hot" as an insult, as us seeing them as a piece of meat, there's a woman who is truly grateful that she heard someone say that to her.

You are right. *All* hot women should be grateful they heard you vocalize your thoughts in a way that proves you saw them as nothing more than a very attractive piece of meat. Because their value as human beings is diminished accordingly, whenever a man isn't complimenting them for so thoroughly pleasing his gawking eyeballs. Why else would you go around complimenting women for something they didn't do and don't really have any control over?

"I am so thrilled that your parts have personally pleased my discerning eye, I will now take the time to let you know it. Next I'll demand that you appreciate how pleased I am with myself, so that you can pretend to take all the credit for me getting an eyeful of your various appendages."
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 853
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/20/2012 8:17:12 AM
And what you're not grasping, my problem isn't if she has a problem or not, it's the reaction. If I complement a girl on how she looks, that's not an invitation to flip out on me because all I'm looking for is sex.


If you have a problem with women who react negatively to a perceived compliment, then wouldn't it make more sense not to risk it?

Hot = Sexually Attractive

When you tell a woman she's hot, you're basically telling her you think she is sexually attractive. Many women will react negatively to a stranger telling them that---especially if the feeling isn't mutual.


FFS, grow up. This obsession with the idea that guys are only looking for sex needs to end. And maybe YOU fit that description, but most of us don't. Most of us think with a lot more than our****


Even if you're not just looking for sex, if telling a woman she's hot makes her think you have a two-digit IQ, then it doesn't really matter to her which head you're thinking with.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 854
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/20/2012 8:20:33 AM

For every woman out there who sees "you're hot" as an insult, as us seeing them as a piece of meat, there's a woman who is truly grateful that she heard someone say that to her.



You know how I view it? As a correlation factor; pretty much every guy I know who would be chatting with me and would go like "See that girl? She's hot" or things along those lines, are single. As far as I know every guy on here defending the viewpoint, is single.
So, maybe its just me, but one WOULD tend to believe there is a link here....
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 855
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/20/2012 10:41:16 AM
^^^

but isn't it much more fun to, instead of adapting and changing and maturing to one's audience, to blatantly stereotype every single woman as shallow, entitled, oblivious, beyond notice, spoiled, unappreciative and not going to look twice at you?

Way easier to rail against "damn, oh you woman" than actually, gasp, try and understand one and meet her halfway?

Way easier to be bitter, angry, extremely prejudiced and totally and completely sure they are all pegged by you and that your one specific way, meant one specific way by you regardless of their past experiences and their OWN perception, autimatically negates every experience they've ever had; even though THEY are less than enthusiastic on it because of the experiences they have had.

A few instances of rejection when offered with the known "not overwhelmingly well received compliment) automatically overrules many, many instances of false hollow sexual compliments (that were, before the hundredth repeat of what THEIRS meant; in these cases were followed up with conversation that were extremely sexual in nature; some of which were outright propositions; of which NOTHING non sexual was talked about).

So all of our experiences are worthless, but one person repeating themselves ad nauseum about what they maybe meant should supercede everyone's own perception, their own comfort zone, their own known history and their own take on it.

They can say it if htey want and keep railing about the shallowness of women... they seem to LIKE hating and blaming women.

Ah well... been up since 6 am followed by five hours at the driver's license place in brutal heat waiting for my daughter to do her driver's test and am dead dog tired; should not be in this topic around this particular poster when I'm beyond tired and impatient with overt unreasonableness.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 856
view profile
History
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 6/20/2012 11:03:53 AM
Oh this thread makes me laugh. Much ado about nothing.

When a guy tells me I'm hot I accept it as a compliment. Period. I don't analyze his
reasons for telling me why he thinks that. I don't give a damn.

His motivations are completely irrelevant to me - I consider it a compliment, take
it as such, and go on my merry way. Life is far too short to worry about such silly
things. Even if he was being disingenuous and only said it to try and get something
from me. My self-esteem is pretty healthy and I don't jump into bed with every
guy who pays me a random compliment. His words carry no weight unless I attach
weight to them.

What I do do is smile, allow myself to feel good, and say thank-you. My panties don't
fall off cuz some guy thinks I'm hot. That would just be sad.

*shrugs*

Everyone's different I guess. What's perfectly fine to one can be horribly offensive to another.


Bottom line is that it doesn't matter who thinks I'm hot, what matters is how I feel about myself.
No compliment in the world is going to change that. Neither will any insults. They're just
WORDS.

JMO
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