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 Mr_Celibate
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 116
You are Hot!!!Page 5 of 43    (3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43)
Was going to start a thread just like this. Oh well...

I suggest a simple "thank-you" in response, smile optional.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 117
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You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 7:59:10 PM
I agree with you OP, I find that sort of thing insulting too. It's just a line until they meet you and get to know you, I hate lines. But it really doesn't matter if others think you are nuts, if you hate men saying things like that to you before they meet you, then you hate it, you don't have to go against your own feelings. You are looking for something more than tissue-thin flattery, good for you. What I get is people thinking I should be flattered because I'm not actually hot LOL but I have always found that sort of thing insulting, even way back when I was rather cute. To each his own.

I get email from guys too saying you're hot, well really they usually say your hot, but the point is not that I am not hot, which I am not, it's that if someone doesn't like it, they don't have to feel flattered by it just because many would love to hear it no matter how phony. OP doesn't like it, she's allowed not to like it. Even if she is hot. LOL

 Ocee
Joined: 3/5/2012
Msg: 118
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You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 8:18:33 PM
"You're hot." sends the wrong message.

"You're kind of hot." is better, it reminds the woman she should be glad you're lookin' at her.
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 119
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 8:54:09 PM

Of some guy messaged me with "You are Hot!!!" I would question his mentality level.
That is just childish.

If a man messaged me that "I was attractive" then were talking the same language.


Yes, because CLEARLY "attractive" and "hot" mean two different things, and signify two different intents when they are spoken to a woman. (sigh)

This is just asinine. Some of you women need to drop the princess complex, and get over yourselves.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 120
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You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 9:00:16 PM
I don't like it either, I think comments like that sound lewd. Even if it isn't the man's intent, they should understand that sexual innuendo coming from a person I'm sexual with turns me off.
If the conversation went into that realm after ...then that's a different story.

OP I'm with you on this on.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 121
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 9:04:25 PM
I think you should not be on dating sites if you think that is an insult. Would you rather he said that you were a dog? It is the way that guys let you know they like what they see. They want sex and it is on their minds and that is what you want, right?? Otherwise you are wasting your time here. You need to get real.
 Meems919
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 122
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 9:10:19 PM
I've been reading this thread and honestly, a sense of humor is a must in life....that would include any dating site, the grocery store, having a pelvic (my gyno once chatted about salmon fishing while doing my exam.....never had such a good time at the doc's office)...........It's one thing to be serious about having a loving relationship in your life, it's another to be heavy handed and have so many rules that almost no one can squeeze through that narrow opening. Trust yourself more...I think that you're probably more afraid of your sexuality than you are offended by some healthy guy telling you you're hot. It doesn't rub off on you, you can encourage or cut back....see what else these guys have to say!
 optimismfirst
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 123
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 9:14:37 PM
maybe some one should say you are ugly? would you be flattered by that?

howmuch alcohol did you drink, your offended by some one finding you attractive? or apparently attractive.
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 124
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 9:27:15 PM

It's one thing to be serious about having a loving relationship in your life, it's another to be heavy handed and have so many rules that almost no one can squeeze through that narrow opening.


Right on.

Sadly, these women will probably still be on this site two years from now, thoroughly convinced there's just no one good enough for them here.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 125
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You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 9:58:51 PM

I don't like it either, I think comments like that sound lewd. Even if it isn't the man's intent, they should understand that sexual innuendo coming from a person I'm sexual with turns me off.
If the conversation went into that realm after ...then that's a different story.


edit...I meant to write NOT sexual with.

Oops! Is my Freudian slip showing? lol
 cashleys
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 126
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 10:01:28 PM
I think t hat is a compliment. I want a guy to think that and more. but there are some things that get beyond appropriate from a few.
 1womanman33
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 127
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 10:09:41 PM


Gwen:
Some men will tell ANY woman that she is hot; it is a ploy to lower her defenses.
A sad commentary that this would have any degree of success, which it obviously has or it wouldn't be so common.

I guess that's why it backfires with some.


That's how it goes when you're the pursuer. Carnivores are not discerning about their prey...matter of fact, they prefer the weaker member of the herd they're stalking. When men devalue a woman, it's pretty similar in effect. Just worried about the end result, not necessarily the quality. The PROBLEM is, women have a bad habit of making ALL MEN out to be that way. It's time to start selecting guys with different criteria before some of ya complain about EVERYONE :)
 N3teffect
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 128
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You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/19/2012 10:52:43 PM
IMO there is nothing "wrong" with being turned off by a comment you consider to be disingenuous. Some people are seriously here to find a SO, many are not. That being said, try and adjust your expectations.
 starofgaia
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 129
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/20/2012 2:18:06 AM
OP: don't mind anybody who tells you that you're uptight; they're amiss.

You are not wrong to establish boundaries. You have every right to stop communications with people who don't have a modicum of common sense to restrain their penises. If they asked you what happened, you could tell them (but you don't have to, since you've not met them), but I wouldn't recommend it because then they will resort to the "you're crazy, "you're a prude," or "you're a****" because they were rejected (and rightfully so).

Stick to your proverbial guns, girl. Best wishes!
 HeartOn64
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 130
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/20/2012 3:30:47 AM
Again, you show yourself unable to partake in logical debate without having to resort to assumptions and insults.I thought you were a bit more grown up than that, hearton.


I call it like I see it and from the posts from most men in this forum,and women who aren't so uptight,I'd say I'm right on the money in terms of my wording.I may be "immature" but you're the one who is still single as are most of the women who find that terminology offensive or insulting.

Hang on TIGHT to those boundaries ladies.God knows you shouldn't settle for men so "beneath" you.


OP: don't mind anybody who tells you that you're uptight; they're amiss.



'Amiss' because we don't mind being told we are hot? Give me a break! Grow up already. I have read enough of your posts to see that chip on your shoulder from afar!
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 131
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/20/2012 3:44:05 AM

You are not wrong to establish boundaries. You have every right to stop communications with people who don't have a modicum of common sense to restrain their penises. If they asked you what happened, you could tell them (but you don't have to, since you've not met them), but I wouldn't recommend it because then they will resort to the "you're crazy, "you're a prude," or "you're a****" because they were rejected (and rightfully so).

Stick to your proverbial guns, girl. Best wishes!


Translation: "Stay bitter, OP!!"
 DreamieDreamer
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 133
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/20/2012 7:36:13 AM
WoW.....

Many are acting like the dude actually said something lewd and offensive. It's not like he said something about private parts, his wee willy winker or anything. Jeez :o)

All this debate and I don't recall the OP elaborating on the message and how and what context it was sent in. For all we know she could have said something like "I don't think I am all that" and he responded with, "get out of here, You're Hot!"

I will say that it bugs the daylights out of me when all a dude can muster up to start a conversation is something along the lines of "You're hot" yada yada yada, but I would never take such offense to it, regardless of how each individual views and forms an opinion about it, the MAJORITY of people alive and kicking, use it as a compliment and that has to be taken into consideration.
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 135
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/20/2012 7:47:53 AM
I GET THIS ALL THE TIME! I wish you ladies would see me as a person first & stop degrading me. The NERVE of some people.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 136
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You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/20/2012 8:15:38 AM
Lots of women including the OP probably like this compliment. Question is... are they willing to admit it?

How can any woman not like the compliment coming from me? My dimples give me carte blanche!
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 137
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/20/2012 8:22:37 AM
^^^^^ Raises her hand!

But only when the guy saying it isn't a goober.
(and I still get to decide who's a goober and who isn't)

 Julietsdestiny
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 138
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/20/2012 8:30:47 AM
Not a day goes by on here without someone sending me a msg saying I'm HOT for a 53 year old.
I thank them and appreciate the COMPLIMENT!
If you find a compliment is an insult then YOU have issue's.
Do you think that saying "Your hot" means....."I want to sleep with you?" If you do then you have ticket's on yourself lady.
 greensoul82
Joined: 10/27/2011
Msg: 139
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You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/20/2012 8:37:56 AM
I think I get where anita_555 and I think its very reasonable what she is saying. Think about it girls, if a guy sent you a message online and the first thing they say is "you are hott" or something similar, does it not turn you off? Even if its "Hi, my name is so and so...and came across your profile and found you attractive/beautiful (etc), and so I wanted to ...." etc, that would get any girl the feeling "what a creeper."

Research has shown that any form of electronic communication to a female in which the subject is about looks, most girls do not respond - so stop telling the OP that its a compliment ... ITS NOT! And stop telling the OP she should be thankful. I have seen many girls blush when in person you say it and they say thank you. That environment its more appropriate to compliment a girl about her looks. But as far as online communication goes, I think like the OP and some various other posters have proven...its distasteful. So everyone should back off the OP and put themselves in her shoes before saying anything!!!
 catalina_view
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 140
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/20/2012 8:49:57 AM
Wow OP lots of nasty responses. I worked my butt off to get a lot of education which I've continued my entire life. I had an exhausting career that I gave my life to and hopefully I made a difference in my community. I've volunteered my time and given money to charity. I've never said no to anyone in true need. I've taken care of a handicapped family member (and will do so until I die.) I'm not a paragon of virtue but I try. Yet the only thing I've ever been judged on in my life by men was whether or not I was attractive. I heard a lot over the years about my big tits (yeah direct quote) and not a thing about my big heart. I thought when I reached middle age it would be put to rest but it's still the same.
Yes, I need to be attracted physically to someone and he to me but I assume that if someone asks me out he finds me attractive. It would be really nice for someone to compliment my accomplishments or my character for a change. And calling a woman "hot" is idiotic over the age of 16.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 141
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You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/20/2012 8:59:58 AM
Hey ladies...you're all hot! Admit it...you love it!



I heard a lot over the years about my big tits

Did someone say big tits? Where? I click for cleavage (my headline)!
 catalina_view
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 143
You are Hot!!!
Posted: 4/20/2012 9:40:19 AM
Kinda like men not liking it when women judge them on their financial status/career/money/material objects. I like to email men in my area who I know are wealthy based on their careers and city in which they live and write, "U R RICH!!!" They're so grateful! Gets me tons of dates.
And when they don't like it, well they're just spoiled selfish pr*cks. They should be happy that I compliment them on their status and riches.
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