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 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 4
Single or DivorcedPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
after you signed the divorce decree..your single now...So you have been single for 17 years..lol
 Twilightslove
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Single or Divorced
Posted: 4/24/2012 8:22:10 AM
Just my own personal reflection on this matter is that while I might be considered a divorced person I've been single for the last 9 years (technically separated for a few of those years before the ink was spilled). It has been long enough for me to have very little memories good or bad about those prior relationships. Almost like they never happened.....:-)
Single or Divorced
Posted: 4/24/2012 5:42:45 PM
Either you've been married or not...I agree with the others when they say it's black and white.

I'm curious though, why would checking off divorced even be a concern.,.it's a legal status not a state of mind...or is it?

Look at it from an alternative perspective:

Doesn't being divorced convey an ability and willingness to commit to a marriage with the intent of sharing your lifetime in the most intimate ways with someone. It may not always end there but I'm sure nobody goes into a marriage with the intent of divorce. Divorce is something that people understand happens for various reasons.

Whereas when you see a profile that lists single at my age (42) don't you wonder why??? Because, yes, I'm single and yes, I'm asked all the time how come I'm single...I've been asked if I'm sure I'm single...I've been asked if I have commitment issues...I've been asked why nobody wanted me...I've been asked what's wrong with me...I've been told I must be defective...and the best one...I've been told I must love to play hard since I'm still single...LMAO

It's ridiculous of course, but it happens...people's imaginations can be very creative at filling in the blanks when the question of why slinks in, regardless of which status legally applies...LOL

If it wasn't an outright lie, I might have checked off divorced...just to study if there is a difference in the approach.

that's my two cents... :)
 smilingrock
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 12
Single or Divorced
Posted: 4/27/2012 4:51:57 AM
Court gives you a Divorce Decree and the divorced label - duh simple.

Some people come out psychologicaly and financialy damaged from a divorce. Other just go on to the next partner for companionship and/or sex. Divorce to me is like getting a key to the candy store.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 14
Single or Divorced
Posted: 4/30/2012 6:19:07 PM

I'm single.. never married.

if I had an ex husband i'd be divorced.

Black and white


Really???? How about common law. I have NEVER been married,though I was in a long term relationship with the mother of my child. I call her my ex,even though,again, NEVER been married.

Are we into the shades of grey yet??????
 *november babee*
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 15
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History
Single or Divorced
Posted: 5/1/2012 5:35:42 AM
the way i look at it, if you have been married and still have minor children, then you are divorced.. once your children are no longer your financial responsibility you COULD put single if you so desire, although for me, it wouldnt make a blind bit of difference either way...




seperated however is a totally different matter...
 Twilightslove
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 16
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Single or Divorced
Posted: 5/1/2012 6:11:37 AM

The term "ex" is used to refer to anybody you were in a long term relationship with while unmarried.

The term "ex-wife/husband" is used to refer to anybody you were in a long term relationship with AND married to.

Therefore... the mother of your child isn't considered as your ex-wife even if you were common-law, and had children. What you would call the mother of your child isn't what a judge would call her. If you still don't see the reasoning behind this simple concept, pay your pretend ex-wife some alimony on top of the child support a legitimately divorced man has to. :)

So no... we aren't seeing any shades of grey yet. It's still very black and white. Your argument fails.


Your argument could fail as well if the couple lived in a state who recognizes common law marriage. If one person of the two chooses to push the issue upon dissolving their relationship the other might just find themselves in divorce court. Texas is a common law state. Most of the time men are required to pay child support for their child regardless of whether or not there was a marriage license.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 17
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Single or Divorced
Posted: 5/1/2012 9:10:05 AM
Single here means never married.... not unattached.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 19
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Single or Divorced
Posted: 7/13/2012 12:19:40 AM
No, single does not mean never married. I’ve been wondering about this cause it’s been 21 years since I’ve been divorced after a seven year marriage. No ties, no kids, nothing.

It was interesting reading this post but jeep1127girl and a few others are right. I did some research and in my state you are considered “single” once your divorce is finalized. However, you are in the process of a divorce during the waiting period. If you are in that period you would select divorced. After that it's up to your discretion.

I have no problem sharing my past with people but you are not labeled as divorced for the rest of your life (as in a "criminal record") once the state recognizes you as single. Here is one of many links supporting this argument:

http://www.familyrelationslaw.com/divorce.html

“A divorce (also called "dissolution of marriage" or "dissolution of domestic partnership") ends your marriage or registered domestic partnership. After you are divorced, you will be single, “ (¶4).

Under the “Six-Month Waiting Period” it states:
“In California, you must wait six months before you can be single again.”

“That date is the date your divorce is effective, the date that you are single, and not one day before.”
 sassy_lady76
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 23
Single or Divorced
Posted: 7/15/2012 11:16:45 AM
I agree if you were once married and then divorced then you are not single and people have a right to know the truth if they are going to date you or want even more, you are lieing if you say you are single once you are married you give up the status of ever being single again, and more for the fact you may have children with your ex husband/wife so be honest or remain "single' for good, well put VeeDub :)
 sassy_lady76
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 24
Single or Divorced
Posted: 7/15/2012 11:18:27 AM
your right that is your oppion and you have a right to it but by law once married you are never single you are separated or divorced period
 sassy_lady76
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 25
Single or Divorced
Posted: 7/15/2012 11:19:06 AM
amen sista i totally agree with you
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