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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > BF womanizer and "friend to all"      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 6
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BF womanizer and friend to allPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I am not a jealous type and I will share him, but this is unreasonable and deceitful.


Apparently, it is an open relationship for him, but not for you. He's having his cake and eating it, too.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 7
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BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/22/2012 4:52:07 AM
It's up to him to let his female friends know he is part of a couple. Seems he
does not think he is.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 8
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BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/22/2012 5:24:59 AM
Walk away while you can.

That is a boundary that is a no go for most men and women if they are boyfriend/girlfriend.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 9
BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/22/2012 6:56:17 AM
LMAO!!!

Why is it up to YOU to have to inform HIS female friends that you're a supposed 'couple?'

I think you're ignoring the CLEAR writing on the wall, here.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 10
BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/22/2012 7:14:37 AM
Does the boyfriend dress up like an Arab sheik and have you as part of his harem or does he belong to a religious cult that believes in polygamy? I guess you weren't following his schedule since he had to kick you out to so he could keep the appointment with the next woman on time.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 11
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BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/22/2012 7:51:24 AM
I think you should have a conversation with some of these female friends of his. Let them know you are a couple and ask if he has been hitting them on the side. If it is platonic, you can put your worries to rest. If he is dogging them, then you get to crack his whole little scheme wide open. You just may enjoy the drama that comes with it.
 Buckets_of_Sky
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 12
BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/22/2012 8:06:26 AM
Oh brother!

If his lady friends bother you then you shouldn't date him; I doubt that he will let them go for you, or anyone for that matter. How is it you don't already know something like this!?!? Are you looking for permission from the masses for what? Take control of your life, you are the ONLY one that can do that!
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 13
BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/22/2012 8:26:58 AM
First, make sure you both see you and him the same way. .

Then talk to him, find out what's going on. Your story can go more than one way. It's possible he just made everyone leave so he could hang out with the friend who couldn't make it earlier. When stuff like that happens, and it's the end of the might, it's the right thing to do, give your friends done time.

Don't jump to any conclusions... Just use your words and talk to him
 skarabians1
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 14
BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/22/2012 8:48:55 AM
I know a man like this. He builds his ego on the bones of women who are at a low point in their lives. Once he has them, he doesn't let them go unless they get a clue. I've seen 2 or 3 of them with him at a time. If they confront him...he lies. They all think he is the nicest, most wonderful person....he is very smooth and he knows how to work them with their insecurities. In reality, I think he really hates women.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 15
BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/22/2012 10:44:00 AM
Wait, OP, you're on here as "Single" looking for a guy. Aren't you playing like you're single? To more than just 5 (potential) dudes?
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 16
BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/22/2012 12:48:34 PM
There have been observations made here about the OP being a drama addict/drama queen, and about the state of her mental and emotional health. I don't think I need to add to that.
The OP asks about her "right";

Do I have a right to let these female friends know that we are a couple.

Actually, it's a free country, you can tell anybody anything you want to as long as you are not causing a riot or speaking falsely in order to commit a crime. But my suggestion to you is that you have the right to evict this man from your life and quit letting him jerk you around. If he stalks or abuses you-call the police. Get the incident documented. If the police refuse to take action against this man because of the "charm" you have claimed he has, then get whatever you need to exercise the right to DEFEND YOURSELF.

I think it is quite clear to everybody BUT you, OP-that this man is NOT your bf. At best all you are is a marginal FwB.
My best guess is that you and he are both personality-disordered and probably DESERVE on another-but at least you have a basic inkling that things are not right in this involvement.

Like I said-you have a right to call him anything you want short of actionable slander/defamation of character-but he also has the right to REFUTE it by word and actions-again, as long as it does not descend to the level of actionable wrongdoing.
Just walk away from this mess. If you need a regular drama fix, there are plenty of good causes you can get involved in where at least your anguish and stress might be of benefit to some other being or group of beings.
Cindy O
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 17
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BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/22/2012 1:19:47 PM
secret boyfriends are never good boyfriends....

find a man that is your boyfriend in public and not just behind closed doors....

pathetic that you even have to ask about this...
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 18
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BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/22/2012 2:07:32 PM
HE is the one who should be telling them, not you.

Is this the kind of boyfriend you want? If not, dump him.
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 19
BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/22/2012 2:47:27 PM
OP: Read msg# 15 and # 16 and keep reading those till you get it! The best advices from male's prospective!
 im_a_rockstar
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 20
BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/22/2012 3:51:03 PM
Can I point out that when a guy makes sure he's hanging out alone with a girl, it doesn't mean he's cheating... For all we know, in the ops story, he wanted to talk to that girl about a problem with the op...

Stop automatically jumping to saying dump him. There's two sides to the story, we only know one. We're in no place top easy whether our not to keep the guy around.
 RERE1026
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 22
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BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/22/2012 5:16:13 PM
Sounds like a bunch fo monkey business.......open your eyes!
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 23
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BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/30/2012 6:30:17 AM
I adhere to boundaries, it is him that does not. I am not a sex addict. It is hard to have sex with a cheater. He is afraid when someone truly cares for him. He wants to run to someone else. As far as me being on POF, I told him and he knows about anybody that I might meet. I only met 1 man and he already had a girlfriend but did not tell me until he met me. He was not honest with me.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 24
BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/30/2012 6:30:25 AM
If anyone hasn't noticed, this is like her umpteenth thread about this loser "BF" of hers, and she really doesn't want to hear what anyone has to say - she apparently loves the high-school drama of the situation and is eating it up. Per another thread:


"I posted on forums about my BF because he refused to listen to me and was emotionally abusive and wanted unbiased feedback from ppl who do not know either one of us Just wanted to get an unbiased opinion based on FACTS."

He *refuses* to listen to her, is emotionally abusive (in her view those are the "Facts"), he's hanging around with umpteen other women, is jealous of her if she talks to any guy, but she's just a "friend" if he's around other women, is dishonest... any sane person would have dumped his a** a long time ago... yet she still is on here weeks and weeks later talking about this guy, after umpteen "unbiased opinions" that have told her to dump this idiot and move on, but apparently that's not what she wants to hear.

So here, OP - my advice, suck it up, accept the fact that he's an abusive cheating lying idiot, but that you "love" him for it, and stay in the relationship regardless of all the "unbiased opinions" you've gotten to the opposite. Obviously you are just 100% perfect for each other, its a match made in heaven, he has his 'fallback girl' who will cling to him for dear life no matter how he treats her, and you have all the drama you could ever want - and more! Its "exciting", "challenging", and oh so "loving" in its own sick and twisted way.

Seriously, stop "caring about him" so much and start "caring" about *yourself* for a change. You're being the "poster child" for the concept of women liking "abusive bad boys who treat them like sh*t".
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 25
BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/30/2012 6:40:06 AM
^ But Kayla, "you just don't understand"... I mean, he's been abused and emotionally damaged in the past, which is why he's running around with all those other women on the side, and if she can just make him SEE how much she really cares, how devoted she is to him, he'll magically change his ways and devote himself entirely to her! Can't you see that?

If it wasn't for those other women... I mean, this one told him one thing, but this other one says different, and a third one says he doesn't want her, and his family hates him, and oh so much drama... but she's going to SAVE HIM from all that!
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 27
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BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/30/2012 7:19:18 AM
Three things, OP:

Play Misty For Me
Fatal Attraction
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Based on the totality of your posts, you are dangerously out of touch with reality. Your issues go way beyond needing advice on an internet forum.

Please note that all the women in the above movies ended up dead or institutionalized and get help now, before it's too late.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 28
BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/30/2012 7:22:38 AM

As far as me being on POF, I told him and he knows about anybody that I might meet.

Poor, poor argument. You're looking to meet guys on a matchmaking (serious or non-serious) site. You're SINGLE. Therefore, you do not have a boyfriend. Therefore, he IS allowed to hang with women. There is NO "cheating" if you're single. At best, you're Friends w/ Benefits. And given that, your only argument would be that he's not been a good friend. Which yes, hurts, especially when there's feelings involved.

But come on. You chase the guy. No sympathy for you -- you in fact deserve to experience pain, when you go out there as SINGLE, yet at the same time expect to be treated as if you're not and call him your BF on any level.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 29
BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/30/2012 8:16:00 AM
OP
Based on message #67, I feel compelled to make the observation that,IMO, you need to step back from dating and relationships and focus on getting your head back in the right place- before you wind up as the lead story on the local 6 o'clock news. Something is seriously amiss with your picker.
Cindy O
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 30
BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/30/2012 4:15:00 PM
OP, in all your threads people have been advising you to get away from this guy and get your head straight before looking for a new relationship. That advise is sound and you should be taking it seriously.
 FishOwl
Joined: 12/13/2008
Msg: 31
BF womanizer and friend to all
Posted: 4/30/2012 8:22:53 PM
I notice that all through your post you kept making the same mistake. You didn't call him EX-bf. Do you think you can't do better than a condescending control freak?

Look in a mirror and think again.

Further, your profile says you want a Christian man. If what he is doing is Christian I thank the Fates that I gave it up.

If you can't do better you have your location wrong, you must really be living in som isolated condition nowhere near civilization.

Look in that mirror again. You are a doll, do not sell yourself short.
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