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 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 7
What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Me, personally, I won't go out with a man until I do such a background check. No it's not to ascertain his $$ status; for me, it's to ascertain if he's a convicted felon!


I really feel quite strongly about this. If a guy who wants to ask me out has a problem with me running a background check; it begs the question "What do you have to hide?"


Please tell every man who contacts you about that, it will greatly reduce the waste of time for both parties in the tenuous dance of "who of the 100 possible relationship prospects here is most likely to be compatible and worth my investment of emotion and time"...


VVV IF you are overwhelmingly worried about your safety in any public place, then best to spend 3 years in some martial arts to build some muscles and confidence, that will be a much more worthwhile investment than 30 per each man that contacts you for a chat or "first meet coffee".

There will be very few men who choose to give you all their personal info for your investigations before knowing you at all...
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 10
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What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 4/22/2012 1:04:00 PM
I would never do a background check on someone. I find the concept abhorrent. I'm not one to rush into anything so I have time to assess what feels off to me. And I'm very comfortable speaking up about anything that doesn't seem to add up. I would be offended if someone did this to me and it would be a deal breaker. In fact a few months ago, someone I had a very brief contact with on-line only told me he did some research as was able to figure out what I did for a living, where I worked and found out my last name. I ended the connection immediately. This kind of behaviour is invasive, intrusive and really inappropriate. I'm on a dating site not applying to work as a Mountie/FBI/MI5 agent.
 flaneur001
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 12
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What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 4/22/2012 1:54:37 PM
I appreciate what you are getting at. I can't say what I would do if I had young children. That's not my situation.

My intention in getting into another relationship is to have a deep, genuine, trusting relationship. I can't imagine looking a potential mate in the eye ...knowing that I've done a BACKGROUND check on him. It is absolutely not something I could do. Period. It offends my standards of relational integrity. Others are free to do what they wish.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 13
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What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 4/22/2012 3:09:16 PM
its dating..... nothing more. It never occured to me to do background checks. I actually found 2 people that were totally honest on their profiles. they weren't all glitzy, just people being people. They didn't ride harleys, fly yearly to spain, or swear to love me forever. They were just looking for someone to date, to meet and see what happens. They never offered me the moon, just friendship. I am dating one fairly seriously, and friends with the other. :) life is good.
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 16
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What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 4/22/2012 5:07:14 PM
lol.. well my attitude is a bit different than some on here I guess. I am not looking to get married again. Like ever. I did it, had my kids... over it. Don't tell anyone.. but I am not perfect either. I don't have a record or anything... but still!
 irish_smackie
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 18
What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 4/22/2012 10:44:02 PM
It's never occurred to me to do a background check on someone I am meeting for coffee (etc). I mean, even before the days of the internet, creepy men existed, and women had to rely upon their common sense to determine a man's character.

I don't have young kids, though. If I did, I honestly can't imagine being interested in having strange men around them at all.
 frijolera_ninja
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 19
What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 4/23/2012 12:00:06 AM
I have to go through extensive background checks for work so it doesnt sound too outragious for dating. (Might be weird if he cut my hair for a drug test though!)
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 21
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What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 4/23/2012 8:19:46 AM
I did ask one guy a few questions... like, how many bodies do you have in your freezer, fur lined or stainless steel, do you think |--------| is 8 inches...

I am joking..... but it would be fun to make up a questionaire

Its Monday morning.. what do you want from me lol
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 24
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What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 4/23/2012 11:15:26 AM
You could take a defense class, I took the .38 defense class. seems to work okay for me :)
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 27
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What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 4/23/2012 2:59:56 PM
lol gotta do what ya gotta do. :)

Rich has all the good ideas hahaha
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 28
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What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 4/24/2012 8:58:30 AM
I've taken a couple of self-defense courses and would take more if they were offered ... in one class, I actually tossed a BIG police man over my shoulder when he came up behind me and grabbed me! considering I'm only 5'1" that was an accomplishment! ... of course, he KNEW what I was trying to do and calmly LET me do it! a real "bad guy" probably would have put up more of a struggle!!! ... but they're fun classes ... my fellow participants and I laughed all the way through our classes ... 8 weeks worth of classes, I think, for each course ...

about looking a man up online to see whether he's dangerous ... the truly dangerous people don't HAVE an online trail to follow ... they've covered their tracks ... so what you're searching for online are the ones who weren't lucky enough or bright enough to have not gotten caught! if you enjoy spending your money that way, have fun ...

to check on financial solvency ... I think you'd need a Social Security # ??? I'd think ...

at her urging, I DID do an investigation of one of my daughter's dates ... and discovered he was a registered sex offender on Megan's List ... that was creepy ... of course, the reason we looked him up was that he had registered so high on her Creep-odometer that she'd already ceased dating him at that point ...
 Wonder5750
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 30
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What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 4/24/2012 5:03:09 PM
speaking of background checks ...I am having one done on me right now. I am becoming a law enforcement chaplain. I am curious on how extensive it will be. I never really got caught for anything, but my halo slipped a time or two lol
 Nickilookingforyou
Joined: 5/29/2012
Msg: 33
What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 6/10/2012 11:22:04 AM
How about a chat room for us women so we can compare notes on some of these guys on this site. I have run into a possible sociopath and would like to warn others.
 Jennywillwin
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 37
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What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 6/12/2012 1:12:04 PM
I'm not stating whether you should or shouldn't. I just find the whole idea of having to check someone's record disgusting. Unfortunitely I did get scammed and had a close call with a psycho so common sense would say to do the background checks.

* By the way, I very rarely date anyone online and yet I still had some extreme, negative experiences with people online. Just be careful out there.
 frijolera_ninja
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 39
What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 6/16/2012 1:54:04 PM
Even though they pass a background check doesnt mean something in their life has changed since to make them snap men and women alike!
 KAKI3152
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 42
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What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 6/21/2012 11:00:00 AM
You know this is starting to sound like work. I date for fun and don't want to worry about someone's back ground unless i am getting very serious. I generally trust people having found out that that nut cases don't hold it together for too long. This pertains to people met in social settings (bars,single groups, chuch,etc.) whom I have found tend to be as nutty as anyone met on the Web.
 Kathy2862
Joined: 8/14/2012
Msg: 48
What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 10/3/2012 10:16:45 AM
I reccomend a background check because I dated a guy without checking and he ended up being on the Michigan sex offender registry.
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 49
What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 10/3/2012 12:12:24 PM
Even if one can't afford to do a full background check (including criminal history), one can still do such things as search for them via Google. For me, that yielded one situation where I actually cancelled the date -- after I found the phone number a woman gave me appeared on several escort web sites (i.e. she was a prostitute). Her PoF profile didn't even hint at such. Remember that searching doesn't mean just the name. Phone numbers should definently be included.

Also, I had an acquaintance/client in the 1990's who got canned from a job unexpectedly. It turns out that someone with a similar name (same first and last, but different middle name) and age had a felony record, and his employer didn't notice the different middle name and fired him anyway. He did sue for wrongful termination. My point: Even if you turn up something by name, you need to make certain that you have the correct person.
 mike215215
Joined: 2/15/2011
Msg: 50
What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 10/11/2012 9:07:56 AM
post59



I found the phone number a woman gave me appeared on several escort web sites (i.e. she was a prostitute). Her PoF profile didn't even hint at such.


some prostitutes use and drop phone numbers to leave no trace... maybe your date ended up with a recycle phone number!! You think like a chick... you're scared to meet a "possible" slut?? Did she have D cups? can you give me her number and pics.... I'll give her a try!! I'll be your Cleopatra's taster! I'll take the risk for you and let you know! lololo

if she was HOT, You could have met her, and ask! ... if she was not...then no "forgetaboutit" no big loss! LOL Dammm never close your option like that ... be a MAN! just f%^ng with ya!


My landline phone number used to belong to the "fish broiler" restaurant.... I used to get calls for almost 12 years... "are you still open?- do you deliver?".... between the Donelley directory, Pac Bell yellow pages phone book, and united yellow phone book that kept OLD obsolete numbers to be able to justify to their "potential customers" that they had a GREAT a thicker Yellow pages BOOK! than the competitor! The fish broiler is still out there on the web... and 14 yrs later I get a call once per yr or so!

Dont be calling me now and leave nasty hate messages! I only take orders, and promise to deliver between now... and xmas!


just to show that the info you got, might have been obsolete!

Do you still have her number.. I'll take one for the team! lol


 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 51
What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 10/11/2012 11:56:24 AM
RE: ^ - It wasn't a recycled phone number. One of those "other profiles" had been updated in the past 30 days, and even recycled cell numbers are supposed to be out of commission for the first 60 days after the prior holder dropped service. Also, when I confronted her to cancel, she admitted the existence of these other profiles (and the $200/hr rate) and agreed to cancel. She was lucky in that I was no longer in law enforcement and didn't otherwise piss me off (else I would have reported her). As far as giving you the phone number, I cannot condone breaking the law.

PS: Landline numbers (except ACs 800 and 900, and prefix 976) are supposed to be inactive for a full 365 days before being eligible for reassignment.
 zurichdublin188
Joined: 8/14/2012
Msg: 54
What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 10/23/2012 11:18:43 PM
You'd be a damn fool not to do a background check on anyone you met online.
 zurichdublin188
Joined: 8/14/2012
Msg: 55
What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 10/23/2012 11:20:02 PM
Dude...I hate to pop your bubble but according to CDC Statistics 80% of women aged 18-50 have at least one sexually transmitted disease...
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 59
What are your thoughts about doing background checks on potential dates?
Posted: 12/16/2012 1:11:17 PM
RE: #68 -
who or "what" are you people running into out there?
Well, the woman who ended up trying to extort me had books mentioning my father by name, and I'm not talking about generic books like "Who's who in America?" (although he's in that too). Talk about stalking (but not in the legal sense).

RE: #69/70 - This is why California has too many lawyers!
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