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 Brissy1985
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 51
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I defintely want kids one day. I don't know why, but I know I do for sure. I could be an idiot. lol
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 52
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Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 6/24/2012 8:43:56 AM
Do a google search for "childfree by choice." You'll find a lot of people that are in your same situation, and I would say that they're all pretty happy about their decisions.
 Michelangelo1976
Joined: 1/18/2012
Msg: 53
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 6/24/2012 2:36:18 PM
in a perfect world, i'd want thousands. in the real world, having stepkids for a short time was an eye opening experience. and two conflicting facts in this country have turned me off to the idea of kids: the fact that we say the absence of a father is so devastating to a child, then we turn around and favor mothers in custody battles. theres somthing thats just not kosher there.
 TheLongSpring
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 54
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 6/24/2012 2:49:39 PM
There's too many men & women having babies that shouldn't be parents. Having children is not the end all and be all that many people present it to be.


I don't want to be somebody's babby daddy, but I would date a woman who already had children. I just don't care to have any of my own.
 errant71
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 55
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 6/24/2012 2:59:38 PM
Not everyone should have children some just do not have the same nurturing feelings


... or some may extend those same nurturing feelings to someone other than a child ...
 Rheostatic
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 56
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 6/24/2012 3:04:48 PM
Just turned 30 and would LOVE to have kids. Of course, I need a date first...
 Thomas_Andronicus
Joined: 6/17/2012
Msg: 57
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 6/24/2012 7:22:40 PM
Margo msg 60 great post. I hope a lot of young women read your post and think about it. Kids, husbands, wives, families, get a bad rap because they get in the way of ______________. [fill in the blank with your personal self actualization goal] I never had the opportunity to have a family, but if you do, by all means, do it.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 58
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Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 7/22/2014 5:23:45 PM
I don't have any fields for them to plow.

In an ideal world, my princess is childless (and wants to remain that way).

I could be a step-dad, but there is nothing about being a biological father that appeals to me.
 dichoTommy
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 59
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Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 7/23/2014 5:11:18 AM

I could be a step-dad, but there is nothing about being a biological father that appeals to me.

Aside from, I would imagine, those acts which can lead to procreation?
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 60
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 7/23/2014 12:37:23 PM
My last x had two kids that called me dad. My current girlfriend had two children and we get along as if I was their father. There will be a time when you will enjoy the idea of children, maybe even some of your own. Believe it or not many men look forward to that.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 61
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 7/23/2014 12:56:44 PM
Not having children has graciously rendered my schedule much more flexible for fun stuff in my mid-40's.
 Debisue64
Joined: 1/19/2014
Msg: 62
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Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 7/23/2014 1:33:19 PM
you know.. I never CHOSE to have children.. never..

Never felt the excitement of PLANNING on having children... but

My ex (after we got married).. decided it was time.. so i just did.

My daughter was so awesome.. My marriage was not..

and as i was ready to divorce the "character" who was my husband.. I found i was pregnant again.. blah

I love my son dearly.. but i was stuck with his father for many more years.. because IN my heart.. it takes two parents to raise children.. especially young children.

I would not give back my children for anyone.. but.. IT is a good thing you did not have kids with your ex.. co parenting with someone you dislike is hell on earth..

MAYBE if you fall romantically in love again.. you will get the urge once again?.. maybe.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 63
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 7/23/2014 10:46:30 PM
I love my kids more than anything in this world. Even though I have to raise them without their Dad in their lives and it's rough at times, I'm glad I have them, because this is the only true love that exists - a mother's love for her kids.
 easterparadehat
Joined: 4/14/2014
Msg: 64
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 7/24/2014 2:12:49 PM
I read the first 2 pages of this read. Come to the conclusion that people have children to fit in, to feed the ego and to somehow make their life worthwhile when they've not lived their life to the fullest. All selfish reasons of course and must remember WE need someone to be burdened and take care of us.
 Foodnmusicguy
Joined: 5/7/2014
Msg: 65
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 7/24/2014 2:20:36 PM
a lot of friends and couples in my age range are experiencing parenting and children. It's a great thing and I'm happy for them, but as I observe them I cannot honestly say that I am envious of them. Have other guys had this sort of change in perspective?


What you mean seeing your buddies looking frazzled and absolutely miserable doesn't make you want to run out and see what all the fun is about ?

LOL

I saw a buddy for the first time in a long time the other day, he now has three kids and I asked him how family life was. He told me if he had the chance to do it again HE WOULDN'T.

I thought " wow, an honest answer ! "
 WALK4ESTWALK
Joined: 3/16/2014
Msg: 66
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 7/24/2014 5:06:59 PM
iam 27 going on 28

Are you just proud and proving you can count. Or, are you assuming we can't. I swear, I know what comes after 27. I even know what comes after 28.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 67
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Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 7/25/2014 6:15:18 PM
It didn't. After my divorce, I was glad that never happened. One issue I would have had was supporting the rugrats. I would have had to work twice as hard as I did. Would have had no time to enjoy them. And since I would have to throw away everything that ment something to me for the sake of the kids. Chances are, I might have taken out my frustrations out on them.
I didn't have the burning desire to have kids. Never bought into that crock of, "If you have children, you'll feel more like a man" I wasn't going to put another human being through the crap I suffered through, when I was a kid. And now that I look at the world, and it's problems, I feel really sorry for them.
 pd481
Joined: 4/15/2010
Msg: 68
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Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 7/25/2014 7:16:48 PM
"because this is the only true love that exists - a mother's love for her kids."

Are we just going to let TrustinKarma to make a dispicable sexist post like this without comment? Fathers are not capable of having true love for their children - a love equal to a mother's love? Shame on you TrustinKarma.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 69
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 7/25/2014 8:32:44 PM
pd481 - I don't think men, since they don't carry the child or give birth, will ever have that close bond as mothers do. My kids' dad doesn't care about them, he has seen them four times within the last year, and only for a few hours each time. And he lives 20 miles away. Enough said.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 70
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 7/25/2014 9:07:34 PM
That's funny...my parents live about 10 minutes away from me...they're both retired, of course.
My dad loves to drive here twice per week, parks his car, and we enjoy walking downtown to get coffee.

He enjoys catching-up, talking about what is in the news, family stuff, and similar chatting.
We tell each other we love one another and then he goes about his chores, shopping, errands, and drives back home.

My mom loves to do the same exact thing. Sometimes when they're running around nearby they visit together.
In that situation we'll usually stroll to one of the local places for lunch. I'm pretty certain my folks love me equally.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 71
If I could feel that way, I wouldn't need the talcum powdah
Posted: 7/25/2014 9:16:37 PM
for some, having children is like buying a house--its a sign you're Getting Somewhere, that you are finally an adult, not just hovering around childhood yourself. For some, having children means finally having someone love them...until the little buggers lie, etc.

Children are the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows. If you're of a parenting nature, then extending your genes past your shelf life is a great achievement in life--actually its our real purpose in life. Personally, I couldn't see spending $100,000 to have an immature person in my life.

I can understand the thrill some fellows get from growing a son into a true man--not a Marlboro Man, not a Donald Trump, but a young fellow who knows what the world really requires a man to contribute to it. But not everyone wants to worry every day about their kid dying in a car accident or some other calamity (ie, the lowest of lows).

Like anything else in life...it truly has to be done for the right reasons.
 ace41s
Joined: 2/19/2014
Msg: 72
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 7/27/2014 2:04:25 AM
I feel the same way - not 100% against the possibility, but I'm definitely not eager to have kids what with all of the dysfunctional families I've seen (which totally contrast with the Hollywood "Brady Bunch" image of what parenting is like). So many parents I see act like their kids are more like a prison sentence - not to mention the countless low-income families who have to get by month-to-month on welfare just to put food on the table (let alone actually think about doing something "fun").

I'm young and still looking for a better job; but I definitely don't plan on having kids anytime soon. I also think there's a lot of 'social pressure' to have kids you're not ready for.
 ace41s
Joined: 2/19/2014
Msg: 73
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 7/27/2014 3:56:53 AM
That's crazy. Ideally I don't want to have any kids until I'm at least in my 30s, and making at least $50-60 grand a year - even then I'm not crazy on the idea of having kids.
 SuperSaiyanGoku
Joined: 3/18/2013
Msg: 74
Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 8/2/2014 12:48:34 PM
First off, I've never been married. I use to want to get married and have kids. You know, do the family thing. Not anymore. I'm certain that I'm never getting married and plan on having the snip soon to ensure I never have kids.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 75
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Fellow men, have you felt this way also??
Posted: 8/2/2014 2:32:29 PM
I don't know that I never wanted children. When I was younger, I always thought it would be great to have a wife and family. But I'm too old now to even think about trying to have a family.
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