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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > How would you retaliate when cheated on?      Home login  
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 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 301
How would you retaliate when cheated on?Page 13 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Well, now you have lost your best friend as well as a lover.

Whether you should have warned the woman who was being cheated on, I am not sure, was a good thing. You did it out of jealousy and spite and the other guy may come after you, so be careful.

They say revenge is sweet so do you feel better now?
 Grl_next_door
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 302
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 3/2/2015 5:24:12 AM
I did the same thing. Called the husband of the woman my ex-fiancée was "doing".
Had him move out that same day.
People like that don't get it, they feel entitled to take whatever they can get from others.
On his way out the door with the last of his belongings, he actually said to me "How could you do that to that young couple, do you feel good about ruining their marriage?"
Um, I don't see that it was me that messed with their lovely marriage.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 303
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 3/2/2015 10:46:54 PM

Whether you should have warned the woman who was being cheated on, I am not sure, was a good thing.

I think it Was the right thing to do.

You did it out of jealousy and spite and the other guy may come after you, so be careful.

Being motivated by jealousy & spite doesn't make an action wrong. At all. Those emotions are there for a reason. We should "count to 10" so to speak and make sure we don't go overboard, of course. The latter part? I guess... the same could be said for reporting a crime in one's neighborhood when you saw another neighborhood guy do it. But it's still the right thing to do to report it.

They say revenge is sweet so do you feel better now?

I would. And it's not so much "Revenge". One does feel better when someone harms them, while the other person gets rightly in trouble for it, instead of getting away with it scot-free. And they should feel better. It'd be Really Weird to think/say they shouldn't - lol.

Called the husband of the woman my ex-fiancée was "doing".

Good call.

People like that don't get it, they feel entitled to take whatever they can get from others.
On his way out the door with the last of his belongings, he actually said to me "How could you do that to that young couple, do you feel good about ruining their marriage?"

Yeah. They're warped about "me me me" and "I Deserve" in life. To play devil's advocate, if he and she weren't forming or trying to form any Romantic or lengthy relationship, and she & her hubby had a good marriage+kids and all, I could see his point of "You're just making their marriage worse by ruining it. It's only going to Hurt things. She understands and is going to fix things, etc."

But that's a poor argument. Her knowing, and if it is "just" That type of situation -- they can still work it out. That's up to them. But she has a Right to know. PERIOD. Would be ridiculous to say otherwise. Otherwise you could say to your ex-fiancee "Oh, I get it. So if you refrained from banging her and others, while after 10 years of us being married I tell you that I was banging a co-worker after our 1st year of marriage -- you'd get upset and wouldn't want to know and wouldn't think you'd have the right to know, huh?"
 gfe0787
Joined: 4/24/2015
Msg: 304
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/29/2015 7:39:32 PM
I would not retaliate at all.
If I were to discover that my partner was cheating on me, I'd forgive him & I'd forget him & go my own way. I think when someone cheats they no longer have a sense of honesty, loyalty, care, or respect toward the other person, so I wouldn't want to hear explanations.
 StarClassic
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 305
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/30/2015 7:18:00 AM
I didn't need to seek revenge. I caught them together.
Had a handful of hair and ear in one hand and a joint lock on his wrist with the other as I gave him the bum's rush through the front screen door. Bare Ass Naked.
She had a dumbass attack and brought his clothes to the door for him. I put her out there too. Butt ass naked.
It got reallll interesting after the nosy neighbor called the cops.
 BussOfEsprit
Joined: 10/10/2014
Msg: 306
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/30/2015 11:05:32 PM
I would not retaliate if cheated on.
I value trust and would much rather be alone than with a woman I couldn’t trust.
Once the trust is broken, I’m not the type that will forget. I could be a friend but nothing more.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 307
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 5/1/2015 1:10:42 AM

If I were to discover that my partner was cheating on me, I'd forgive him & I'd forget him & go my own way. I think when someone cheats they no longer have a sense of honesty, loyalty, care, or respect toward the other person, so I wouldn't want to hear explanations.

That wouldn't be forgiving him, though. Forgiving isn't about holding back Expressed resentment toward someone, or handling it cool and not letting it control you and moving on. That's not forgiving -- that's just not being completely pissed off. :) To forgive them is to pardon them -- to Excuse what he/she did. It's not about "not getting to ya hardly at all" -- it's about when the concept's brought up, you're cool about it.

Litmus test to forgiveness: Bob's been going out with Jane. Bob realizes she's not his type, not great looking... a rebound-effect grab-bag special, but he doesn't want to be a jerk and break things off with her. Gawd, she's clingy, too -- and her vajayjay's been smelling funny, but maybe that's because they aren't going out drinking much where his sense of smell was always handicapped. He's hardly if at all attracted to her anymore... he has platonic feelings about her, but that's it. ANYWAY, one day she goes up north to hit the beach or whatnot with gal pals... next day she tells him she cheated on him and was kissing a guy up there. He's hurt, they argue, she claims she's so sorry, etc. The next day he breaks up with her, even though he is legit upset about it... but soon after, he's not upset about it once his emotional dust settles, as he was given an "out"... and he wasn't really attracted to her, etc. In fact, shoot, his buddies remind him that part of him wanted that to happen or something. He forgives her. He can see her at a party and chat happily. No faking or PC-correct face. He's happy for her ending up meeting another guy. He truly FORGAVE her. Other people who aren't in such a clear-cut situation? It'd take Longer. Some, understandably, and rightfully Never.

Sorry for going off on a tangent about "forgive". Just an over-used term one applies to themselves, just like "jealousy" is an over-avoided term to apply to oneself.

I didn't need to seek revenge. I caught them together.
Had a handful of hair and ear in one hand and a joint lock on his wrist with the other as I gave him the bum's rush through the front screen door. Bare Ass Naked.
She had a dumbass attack and brought his clothes to the door for him. I put her out there too. Butt ass naked.

Yeah, but that is revenge. I don't think revenge requires an official Waiting Period. :)
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 308
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 5/1/2015 9:39:16 PM
First thing I'd do is confirm that cheating took place--rumors kill more relationships than cheating in my opinion. I'd probably just ask him--if he denies it, i will weigh what he says and what I know about him to decide if to believe him or not.
Second would be end the relationship if there was a transgression.
Last would be getting checked for an STD.
Then, move on. Retaliation is for noobs.
 GattoMonstrosis
Joined: 4/4/2013
Msg: 309
view profile
History
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 5/4/2015 1:59:00 AM
I don't retaliate i just end it, retaliation might make me feel better by causing pain in answer to the pain felt but at the end of the day what was the point of it other than that? I'd rather walk away clean.
 TooTransparent
Joined: 8/30/2014
Msg: 310
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/15/2015 1:04:12 PM
how aweful would it be to take partially nude pics of her boobs and underwear and send to 15 of her facebook friends?
 perspektiv
Joined: 8/9/2015
Msg: 311
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/16/2015 7:58:23 AM
Retaliate?

I'd end the relationship upon finding out. Karma will take care of the rest. No need in sinking to their level, and going in a tit for tat battle (they're so not worth it).

Plus--she's shown you with her actions, how she feels about you. Why give her the satisfaction of getting mad at her?
If anything, all this does is justify her actions.

I don't get mad at the woman. I get mad at myself for having trusted them, and ignored my gut.

I show zero emotion, when crossed on that level, and simply peacefully end the relationship, and move on as quickly as possible. If anything, I'm grateful they showed me who they were.

I've only been in a situation like that where I'm being taken for granted once, and Karma took care of the rest (they got cheated on, and dumped for the other woman--and went through a couple of relationships just like that). Sad part, is they out of desperation, reached out to me, realizing what they had done in forcing me to end the relationship the way they did (I even got a heartfelt apology, and although I had figured out how to find my own closure through counseling, this helped even more).

So, I felt sorry for them, but still wished them the best, and then blocked them (as did not wish to revisit the past).
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 312
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/17/2015 10:35:42 AM

purplerider1200 :
A roadkill skunk in the mailbox. I put a stamp on his head so he'd be official.


Thanks for the laughs!
 Tim0281
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 313
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/17/2015 3:24:00 PM
I try to simply move on and be better than I was when I was with her. I don't forgive, I hope for her to have a long life but not a happy one. I hate the bitterness I feel but I have a hard time being anything else when someone is so disloyal. So I just move on, I know that the big picture is that I'm better off without her and hopefully karma will come through in the end for her. But that's the extent of my retaliation. I move on and understand that her actions don't account for all the wonderful women that are out here, hopefully waiting for me or even searching for me as I search for them, I try to live with hurt and not let it change who I am. I was good to her and I'll be good to the next woman who will hopefully appreciate my value.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 314
view profile
History
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/20/2015 2:11:03 PM

I'd end the relationship upon finding out. Karma will take care of the rest.

Karma? LOL. I mean, if you know she's got one foot on a banana peel and one foot in the grave, then sure. Other than that, no need for superstition. People who cheat aren't necessarily going to get their "just dessert" later on that matches it much.

No need in sinking to their level, and going in a tit for tat battle (they're so not worth it).

Going t!t-for-tat isn't a requirement of retaliating. Nor is it necessarily "sinking" to their level. By that rationale, a guy who you're bigger than comes up to you after you're leaving a bar, and hits you in the face saying he doesn't like your kind and laughs at ya. Yeah, walk away, don't stoop to his level -- let karma take care of the rest, right? ;) You're just showing him that it's OK to do that.

I get mad at myself for having trusted them, and ignored my gut.

And you don't want to ignore your gut to do nothing after, and reward them with getting away with it scott-free. Now, I agree with being on your level about it sometimes -- as sometimes there IS nothing you can do that will at least put them in their place somewhat. Sometimes, you're stuck in a quagmire where anything you do will only fuel them to feel like what they did was OK or something, so you have to "take the sack" and move on. But many times when it comes to cheating -- you can reltaliate by teaching them a lesson -- a true lesson where they'll at least think twice about doing it again, even in a not-so-happy relationship. It also gives you a sense of closure and accomplishment as well.

I don't forgive, I hope for her to have a long life but not a happy one. I hate the bitterness I feel but I have a hard time being anything else when someone is so disloyal. So I just move on, I know that the big picture is that I'm better off without her

I agree with that. One doesn't want to fool themselves into faux/partial forgiveness when it's not really forgiveness... but one doesn't need forgiveness to move on adequately and learn from it, etc.

hopefully karma will come through in the end for her

Ehhh, depends on the gal. Very possibly not. We all wish for the Ex who clearly unrightfully cheated on us to get cheated on themselves. Or to some, just back luck in life going their way. But life doesn't work that way. No, nobody's life is perfect, but it's not all wrong-doings in life aren't debts that life makes you pay back. That's the truth of the matter...

But that's the extent of my retaliation. I move on and understand that her actions don't account for all the wonderful women that are out here

IMO, one should at least thoughtfully put them in their place to think twice about it, leaving them in a position thinking "Wow, I am an a$$hole." A needle to thread through, to avoid their temptation of you looking like a bad guy, and a lot of patience of your own temptation not to "go off" emotionally at them either. Once in a while, which is dependent on the other person's mentality and the situation & circumstances at the time, sure, just walking away, blocking their #, email, etc. can do that trick.
 LuvOverGold
Joined: 8/11/2015
Msg: 315
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/22/2015 4:25:40 PM
I learned long ago that the best revenge is living a happy life without the cheater. They usually stalk you to see what you are doing.
 slothlover_007
Joined: 8/17/2015
Msg: 316
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/23/2015 6:22:19 PM
Everyone is different. I imagine it's not an easy thing to deal with. Personally, I would not retaliate if I was cheated on. Too much energy...I prefer to use my energy enjoying life =)
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 317
view profile
History
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/23/2015 8:33:28 PM
^^Living well is the best revenge. ;)
 MissyVino
Joined: 8/22/2015
Msg: 318
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/30/2015 6:26:21 AM
I also applaud you. I did the same thing to my ex. Spiteful? Yeah, so what. If he wasn't such an ass and hadn't been messing around behind my back, and not treated me the way I deserved to be treated, as HE was being treated(with respect, consideration, honesty, and love)this would not have happened in the first place. He is solely to blame and deserves whatever he now gets.

And I agree with another person who responded to this. No one gets to screw around and hurt other people. No one gets off scott free. Not on my watch. Maybe now that all his friends and family know what an ***hole he is he will think twice before he pulls this crap on someone else. But probably not.

Have a great day.

:)
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 319
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/30/2015 7:20:55 AM
Here is one tale of retaliation I posted on another thread.

I befriend a man that I met at a video game shop. We got to talking, over time he invited me over to his "place" to discuss some business that involved me having to look over some paper records.

I was surprised to see he was living in a one room office? Funny story. Funny to me, not so much to him.

He had been cheating on his wife, she was a French national living in the Washington DC area. She convinced him to move to France and her father would help him start a new stock trading business. Her father had good government connections. So he sold most of his belongings then moved to France with her.

Once settled in France, she filed for divorce.

Her father having those connections worked against him, not speaking French didn't help, and spending all his money to move was a killer.

So he moved back to the USA, and the office I think he was leasing before he left. He had no where to live, so he moved into the office.

I had to secretly admire the total fck job she did on him, it was artistic.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 320
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/30/2015 9:41:32 AM
oh, best revenge? I dunno that I would call it revenge, my first ex is here on POF, so he'll prolly read this. Hiya honey, lmfao.

After he was gone for a week doing meth with a prostitute, and I had just gotten the cast off of my leg from him breaking it....I sold my car, had an auction company come in and buy up the furniture, used the money for a plane ticket back home for the baby and I. I left him with one spoon, one fork, one knife and one plate.

His best revenge on me was screwing with my mind for the next 24 years saying he still loved me then when I caved he dissed me.

Otherwise I disown people for years and live my own life, it's better without them.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 321
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/30/2015 8:28:51 PM
The best revenge is success.

No crying, begging or any of that stuff.
At least not where they can see it.

If you have to be at the same place, ensure you turn up looking as fabulous and confident as possible.
Be polite and in my case I even said hello and was civil with the woman concerned.

No point lowering myself to their level.



BUT.....


I did dream about some different retaliation.

1. Put acid in a water pistol and squirt all his clothing.
2. Scatter wet grass seed in the carpet


Have heard that both of these have been done -or are they urban legend?


One I particularly liked which did happen years ago when milk was still home delivered.
The wronged woman drove around town and distributed his entire cellar of fine red wine beside the milk delivery.


One that happened to a work colleague.
His wife collected all his possessions including photos, his passport, birth certificate, educational qualifications etc and set fire to them.

He had quite a time replacing them.


____________________________


Peas?
Truly?

How sad.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 322
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/30/2015 8:39:34 PM
yes, sea....and now he's back (eventually coming 2,500 miles) this last year living a few blocks from our son-in-law, daughter, screwing with her mind too, since the grandbaby... I backed off, she is half him. :/
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 323
view profile
History
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/30/2015 9:52:00 PM

The best revenge is success.

Not really, unless one was Unsuccessful when with the ex. I know people like to pass along feel-goods to deflect thinking about an ex, etc... BUT, if one is on the topic, to be real, it would require one to notably Move Up in successfully *and* have the ex know about it. A lot of times, an ex isn't going to know whether you went really high or low in the job market. Plus, if they dumped you, many times they're not going to wish you the opposite of success ... sometimes they'll even like that if hearing about it. But again, even when that's not the case, many times they won't hear about it anyway.

I dunno that I would call it revenge, my first ex is here on POF, so he'll prolly read this. Hiya honey, lmfao.

HI! How are you doing these days, honey? Hey, I see you have me in your picture in the bottom right corner! :)

After he was gone for a week doing meth with a prostitute, and I had just gotten the cast off of my leg from him breaking it

OH, that must have been another ex, never-mind! My bad...

His best revenge on me was screwing with my mind for the next 24 years saying he still loved me then when I caved he dissed me.

Ouch, that sucks. Going back to him? Eeek. Well, it wasn't so much Revenge on his part, though. I could see if he did that for 24 days -- but for 24 years? That's a LOT of work that isn't even close to worth it to 'dis an ex and say "Ha!" It's like investing $1,000 in a scheme to steal $10 out of an ex's purse. OK. You stole $10 out of her purse -- "yay" revenge. But you spent $1,000 to do it. Not really a "gotcha" on his part.

I think in the end, people aren't in position to get revenge on an ex when you're Fully broken up (not just not gf/bf anymore). Many times it's that you have to "take the sack" (American/Canadian football analogy to a QB getting tackled in the backfield when no receivers are open and not to do anything stupid).
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 324
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/30/2015 10:08:12 PM


I dunno that I would call it revenge, my first ex is here on POF, so he'll prolly read this. Hiya honey, lmfao.


HI! How are you doing these days, honey? Hey, I see you have me in your picture in the bottom right corner! :)




Well, was married when 22 and had the baby. LOML bullshit heart strings. I didn't have contact with him for some 15 years, there was his CS arrearage. They extradited him up here from AZ. That was a fun day in court too. haaaaaa. Not. So then he started all over again....LOML crapola. What can I say? I was weak. Well yeah, and it was a sizeable amount of $$ he owed. I put him off for more years...I was remarried by then.

When I had left him, it was thE hardest thing I ever had done in my life. I cried for a year straight from what I remember. Yeah, that love fkd me up for the rest of my life. oh well.
 LoveofPaint
Joined: 9/24/2015
Msg: 325
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 10/16/2015 10:10:12 PM
I agree with this. Block & Delete them from your life. Become the BEST version of yourself. In time, they will kick themselves for messing up a good thing with you.
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