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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > How would you retaliate when cheated on?      Home login  
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 ThreadMasterB
Joined: 4/15/2012
Msg: 26
How would you retaliate when cheated on?Page 2 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
So because you were hurting, you chose to hurt the wife to get back at your ex, your ex is going to care she's going to keep banging him. Bad move dude
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 27
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 8:03:49 PM
ok... so to the ones that say i was wrong for emailing the wife. i am sorry... i didn't mean to cause damage to the wife due to HIS cheating on her....riiiiight.... because i so very wanted to hurt this woman in the first place. so look at it this way. you go out with your significant other to a bar, party, social gathering, what not. and you leave him/her for a little bit, and during the time you're gone, some married ***hole comes in and hones in on your "territory" - so to speak. they go off and have sex in the bathroom. you find out because they didn't cover their tracks well enough. of course you're hurt/angry etc.... the spouse of that married ***hole happens to be at that party also. what would you do??? honestly answer this please. it's the same "type" of situation, but in a more compact time frame. difference is in my case, it was done in a "discrete" way, but nevertheless, married ***hole moved in on some else's relationship. (of course, my cheating ex is to blame too. no one forced her to cheat -> and i let her have it). so i repeat... what would you do?? it's the same type of situation, but the person responsible is actually there face to face. sound off!!!
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 28
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/24/2012 8:07:55 PM
correction, person's responsible. he wasn't the only one, my ex decided to cheat too. it takes two to tango. oh, and i know the wife read my email. she blocked me on facebook. but the married ***hole is still friends with my ex. so i guess they're still talking or whatever. (yeah, i made a fake FB account, so sue me....i didn't know it should be easy to just let things go) maybe the wife is in denial.... oh well. i did what i had to do.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 29
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History
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/25/2012 8:26:48 PM
I think you should have let it go.

I have the power to totally ruin my ex's life. We were together 3 years and he completely screwed me over. He is a very powerful man but I have the knowledge and ability to ruin his career and his life. He betrayed me like no other so the thought is tempting but really, what would I get out of it? Did you feel any better that you broke up a marriage because you were getting back at your ex? What you probably did was pave the way for them to be together...

Anyway, I believe in karma so I keep my knowledge to myself and know that one day he will get his 10 fold.
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 30
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/25/2012 8:56:24 PM
Ok.. lets look at this.. from MY point of view.

My Ex husband.. cheated on me with his secretary when i was 6months pregnant with his first child.. at shortly under the first year of marriage.

The secretary's husband knocked on my door.. and proceeded to YELL at me about my 'husband's behavior with HIS wife.

why do the "cheated on " have to be abused by the other "cheated ons" ?

I felt like KILLING MYSELF.. uh huh.. thankyou for being so angry with our wife.. that you had to attack an innocent party. For GODS sake.. go kick my husbands ass instead!.. what?.. thats illegal?.. what?.. you are scared?.. What?.. a scared pregnant lady is easier to accost?.. hmm..Wiener.. no wonder your wife cheated on you. ... blah

so, Moral of the story.. the wife will eventually figure it out without your drama and your hatred slapping her in the face... Get over yourself..
 Nyte2008
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 31
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/25/2012 9:04:16 PM

long story short. i started officially dating my best friend for 6 years back in january, but she chose to cheat on me with a married man who's been absent from her life for several years. and she was also planning on doing it again. of course i was pissed, hurt, sad, etc etc. she still wanted to be friends with me somehow. anyways, i apparently am "dead" to her now because i sent an email to the douche bag's wife that she cheated on me with. just wanted to get some feedback as to what other's would have done. i am much more "clear minded" now than when i found out. honestly, the wife of that douche needed to know, but i also let her know out of spite, to "ruin" things for my ex and this man. sound off people!!


You did the right thing, don't listen to anyone else here who says otherwise. The reason it is the RIGHT thing to do is because the only way you can get someone to learn from their mistakes is to make them experience the NEGATIVE side effects of it.

You told the wife of the d-bag husband. This will undoubtedly strain their relationship. This will lead to 1 of 2 scenarios:
1. A divorce (which is a GOOD thing, why maintain a relationship without loyalty?).
2. Therapy (another GOOD thing).

In outcome (1), the divorce will cause heartache for the wife of course. That is an unfortunate SIDE EFFECT but the net outcome in the end is POSITIVE. The wife (or rather divorcee) will have ended an un-loyal relationship and is now free to seek a BETTER spouse with the added KNOWLEDGE of what traits/qualities she should be AVOIDING.

See where I'm going with this? I can go on and on but I'm getting lazy. I'm sure the rest of you here are smart enough to figure it out.

Your decision was the ONLY LOGICAL one. GOOD WORK!


QED lol...
 Nyte2008
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 32
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/25/2012 9:09:38 PM
Everyone that is against this man here should really evaluate their decision long term. Is it REALLY better being passive? Is there a NET BENEFIT in doing nothing? In most cases, being PROACTIVE is better than being PASSIVE.

PASSIVE activity is usually an indicator of fear. And it's fully understandable, people FEAR for disturbing the very fabrics of what could be a socially functioning relationship. But the NET OUTCOME of not doing anything in most cases will usually be negative, and that negative will be ALL ON YOU. Apply some basic economics and engineering logic to these decisions and you'll find that doing nothing will only hurt you in the end while everyone else ends up being seemingly "content" and "happy". Note that I put those words in quotes as I believe those positives are very short-lived in situations like this.
 Nyte2008
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 33
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/25/2012 9:13:37 PM
Oh, and if the dude comes by and kicks your ass. Call the cops on him. Yet another thing makes people get all PASSIVE because they FEAR for the repercussions. Most guys I know wouldn't go around beating up snitches though, it's only those fuel-raged specific genetic code type people that will get upset. And those specific genepool kids will end up in jail anyways so no complaints there.
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 34
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/25/2012 9:15:08 PM
at DebiDuzDishes, sorry that you went through that experience, but i never did "yell" at the wife of that douchebag that entered my life. because.... she didn't deserve it. i even apologized to her beforehand for the news that i was going to tell her about her piece of sh!t husband of hers, cheating.

thanks for the attitude "get over yourself"..... i can see why you were cheated on. see how personal attacks "sting"??? no need to give me attitude. so i take it then that the wife didn't deserve to know that her husband cheated/was planning on cheating AGAIN?? i guess people can go on with their selfish ways and not face repercussions. in my case, it was better i found out now, instead of wasting years on this woman.

and to the other poster about "paving the way" for the husband's marriage to end, so he can be with my ex.... i considered that. but honestly though, even if that marriage broke and my ex-GF "won" him, that relationship would not last because it was built upon a foundation of deceit and lies. like he's actually going to be faithful to her (my ex)??... i don't think so.

EDIT:no i don't feel better that i broke up that marriage because... i don't think the marriage is broken. me thinks the man ran back to his wife, but my ex-GF is now alone... without me and most likely without him. the reason i believe this is supposedly he has been in the VERY unhappy marriage for the last 10 years, and can't leave his wife because he must stay with his kids. (yeah, i know, sounds like a bad romance movie/ novel cliche). He also did this EXACT same thing to my ex years ago, when she was seeing him while he was supposedly "SEPARATED" from the same evil wife, he ran back to his wife back then. i honestly think that this man is a habitual cheater.... and my ex-GF fell for his b@sh!t hook, line, and sinker. what i don't get is, why people go around looking to f#@k up someone else's life/or relationship, and expect that person to NOT retaliate. if i was a married asshole looking to cheat on my wife, with YOUR spouse/significant other, just because me and her had a "thing" 8 years ago and now the "butterfly feelings" are back, and i played a part in destroying your relationship, would YOU just let me slide?? out of respect for my wife's "feelings"?? obviously you would break it off with your cheating spouse/GF/BF, but what about me??

i guess the point of my post is, if you're not willing to pay the price for your selfish shenanigans, then why risk it?? why do it at all?? it's very irritating when people play with fire, and then THEY complain to the heavens about "why did i get burned??" case in point: a bully picking on a kid... and the kid suddenly fights back. the bully has the NERVE to be mad at the kid?? or how about you catch someone stealing money from you, and you send them to jail, and that jailed person has the audacity to be mad at YOU??

but yeah, i'm just looking for other people's perspective. thanks all, for answering.
 lad3da
Joined: 3/12/2012
Msg: 35
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/25/2012 9:55:54 PM
I would have simply cut the guy off completely and moved forward.
Karmas a b!tch.
 j.josh
Joined: 12/5/2011
Msg: 36
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/26/2012 12:59:48 AM
Counterintuitively, you need to kick YOURSELF to the curb, will the surviving remnants of your indentity
into being gay, then surreptitously inhabit your ex's body so you can bask in the love he's giving her.

Then, scurry back into your mortal coil on said curb, become straight once more, and recall verbatim what HE did, and subsequently the type of man HE is.

Only THEN can you possibly hope to understand how to treat a woman like her in the future.

Best regards,

Joshua
 AMETHYST666
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 37
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History
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/26/2012 1:17:19 AM
hey - "dont get angry, get even"!!! - and you did! good for you - bet you feel a whole lot better! now to move on to someone completely different!! good luck honey!!
 dashenka4
Joined: 4/4/2011
Msg: 38
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/26/2012 5:35:21 AM
You don't. You walk out, and let them deal with their mess.... Unless you want some of that mess in your life...
What would you achieve by retaliating?
 Nyte2008
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 39
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/26/2012 6:14:42 AM

You don't. You walk out, and let them deal with their mess.... Unless you want some of that mess in your life...
What would you achieve by retaliating?


You achieve the possibility of them learning from their mistakes.
 just1melissa
Joined: 1/5/2012
Msg: 40
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/26/2012 6:46:28 AM
Today it is exactly 1 year since I found out that my husband of 21 years was cheating with my 19 yr old daughters best friend. I know how you feel. At the time, I ranted, screamed, and did the whole "nasty post" stuff on facebook. I felt it was only fair to hurt him like he hurt me. It took a few months, but you know what I realized? I wasn't really hurting him because he had already moved on. I decided that it was time for ME to move on. I have found that the best "revenge" was to just live my life without him. I lost 60 pounds(due to less stress), started making new friends, and actually being happy without him. Funny thing is, while he has the girl(literally), and a new baby, I have MY life. While I am out having a blast living my life, he is at home changing diapers and listening to her nag about him wanting to cheat on her. People get what they deserve, whether we give it to them or not. While I don't think you should have emailed the wife, I understand why.
 dashenka4
Joined: 4/4/2011
Msg: 41
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/26/2012 8:57:36 PM

You achieve the possibility of them learning from their mistakes


No you don't. People do not learn on YOUR time table. You are viewing it as a mistake, they don't most likely. And will not until they are ready, on THEIR time table. And it may be never.
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 42
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/27/2012 8:45:57 AM
at cover_me i get that women are not "territory" -> this was just a figure of speech. of course she did not "belong" to me. i never treated my ex-gf as "property". but she did agree to be "committed" to me, as in a committed boyfriend/girlfriend relationship where she is not allowed to go bang other dudes (and of course, i'm not allowed to go bang other women) if we're exclusively dating only eachother....

the party example was just an example.... the actual deceit and cheating was done through facebook. and they met up face to face before (while she was "committed" to me, and were going to continue their affair. she even told him "don't worry, victor (me) trusts me, i'll get him to baby sit my kids...." and a whole lot of f&cked up sh!t.

and the reason for me to retaliate is to get them to quit their bullshit (aside from my own personal reason, hello? if you screw me, i screw you right back and more).... honestly, if no one puts them in check, they will continue to do their shenanigans to others, no?? lesson learned. when i emailed the guy's wife, it was done within a few days of when the whole sh!t hit the fan. now though, i am of clear mind. initially, i DID want to drive up to his house and kick his a$$, i threatened him... i wanted to email my ex-gf's family and friends and post all the nasty sh!t that these 2 were doing, for all the world to see... but i didn't. i had to listen to reason (my close family and close friends).... maybe this will make them THINK TWICE before they pull this sh!t again.

at j.josh funny post man. made my day. hehe.
 ~chill-pill~
Joined: 10/31/2009
Msg: 43
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/27/2012 1:26:11 PM
Now what you need to do Nitemonger FOR YOUSELF is put all this bulls*it behind you and move on. Go find a new girl that will make you smile. I have been through several relationships that I've thought "what a complete bunch of bs I've been handed". The more you think about things the more it will make you miserable. You didn't do anything wrong to deserve this did you? NO. So now its time to move FORWARD and stop looking back. Think of the situation as working your ass off at a job you really like and then all of sudden you get terminated because the company wants to save some money. Would you ever go back there to work? Of course not! When you think of this company will you always get angered thinking about what happened? Of Course. But are you gonna sit around being unemployed and miserable thinking about how you got scre*ed over or are you gonna look for a new job? lol :)

You seem like a straight shooter and I am not telling you nothing that you don't already know. Now go and do it!
 Arata_na_Yoake
Joined: 1/25/2012
Msg: 44
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/27/2012 1:37:46 PM
In your situation I would have warned the wife if only out of courtesy. If I was cheated on I'd leave the person and never look bad; there's no sense wasting any more time on them.
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 45
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/27/2012 2:44:50 PM
Now what you need to do Nitemonger FOR YOUSELF is put all this bulls*it behind you and move on. Go find a new girl that will make you smile. I have been through several relationships that I've thought "what a complete bunch of bs I've been handed". The more you think about things the more it will make you miserable. You didn't do anything wrong to deserve this did you? NO. So now its time to move FORWARD and stop looking back. Think of the situation as working your ass off at a job you really like and then all of sudden you get terminated because the company wants to save some money. Would you ever go back there to work? Of course not! When you think of this company will you always get angered thinking about what happened? Of Course. But are you gonna sit around being unemployed and miserable thinking about how you got scre*ed over or are you gonna look for a new job? lol :)

You seem like a straight shooter and I am not telling you nothing that you don't already know. Now go and do it!


at ~chill-pill~
thanks for the job analogy chill pill. you're right. because even if i go back to that "job" there's no guarantee they won't "terminate" me again. yeah, i am moving on. making new friends off this site. gonna go eat sushi later today actually. love sushi.... also losing weight. i figured the best revenge for me is to have a good life and also look REAL good. hahahaha!! of course karma will get them back, i just figured i would "help" karma out in a way by letting that wife know ;)

but based on this thread, some were for emailing the wife, and some were against. so we can all agree to disagree on that... but....

wouldn't you all agree that wrong do'ers deserve to get what's coming to them?? i mean, that married douche that likes to do stupid sh!t behind his wife's back on facebook, and likes to meet up with other women, i know will one day regret it. he's doing stuff that could destroy his family. his kids will grow up resenting him for his selfishness, so yeah, there's that.... and since he came into MY life to f!ck it up, i figured i'd help karma speed things up a bit. hehe.

and as far as my ex-gf is concerned. her past ex-boyfriend relationships didn't work out for a reason. and she'll never get a man that would be serious for her unless she changes... but she's one of those types that just LOVES to get validation from different men (to a point that is very inappropriate - so i was stupid for falling for her...) . and her kids were REALLY sad when i left.... i've seen them grow the last 6 years, ( i was her best friend, i was always "there" for her and her kids) ya know? but it is what it is. i ain't delusional. it's a one-shot deal with me, when it comes to cheating. if you cheat on me, just don't complain about the fallout....
 FairIsFair
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 46
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/27/2012 10:55:16 PM
Hopefully, this man did not have a family that is now going to have to deal with this mess. I'm saying what you did was totally wrong, but getting revenge on someone does not change what they did to you. Sure, it might make you feel better, but in the end...you were still hurt by this person and getting revenge isn't going to lessen the pain.

I was married 12 yrs. My Husband cheated on me and eventually left me for the women he was cheating on me with. He even married her 12 days later. The day that we divorced, he also applied for a marriage license. lol...That was alittle over 6 yrs ago.
His excuse was that he wasn't getting enough sex. There is no excuse for cheating. None.
How did I react? I did nothing. I left the guy go. My life has changed so much since he's been gone. He's now someone else's problem to deal with. Not mine. I am honestly truly happy. The karma train was a bit late, but it ran him over.
That's not why I'm happy now tho.

All I can tell you is not to make any decisions while you are angry or hurt. It will help you out later.

Sorry that this happened to you....trust me, something better is out there for you. It may not come right away, but eventually it will.
Good luck.
 Jerilyn
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 47
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/28/2012 8:36:58 AM
Boy, I know how you feel. It seems like all the sleazy ass, sneaky, slimy scumballs of the world never get what they have coming to them... or are ever even exposed for their behaviour because as decent people we are are told we are supposed to just turn the other cheek. Walk away. Keep your dignity... don't let them even see it bothers you... blah blah blah. Just once, you'd like to see these people get some immediate and serious consequences for their actions... or maybe hit by a train..

Cheaters... abusers of any kind... keep on doing harm to people because their BEHAVIOUR IS NEVER EXPOSED to the light of day... that's why turning the other cheek, in the long run, doesn't help in that it doesn't stop these people... it enables them. Good for you for ratting them out. They deserved it.
 snowstorm22
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 48
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/28/2012 11:41:23 AM
you want to reliatate like a child?
who does that? it makes you the same as them if you get revenge.
forget it and move the fuc* on
 Jerilyn
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 49
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/28/2012 2:05:07 PM
""who does that? it makes you the same as them if you get revenge.""

Why? I fail to see how it makes you "the same"... he didn't cheat, sneak around, and lie with selfish intent in a cowardly, dog-with-it's-tail-between-it's-legs fashion the way they did. He stood up and called them on their bullshit. Showed them there are consequences and that not everyone is going to be a silent victim to people like them. This myth that we should just let people get away with their B.S or else we're no better, is more B.S. If you can get back at them, I say do it. Some people need to learn respect for others the hard way, or else they never do...
 A_Gent
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 50
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 4/28/2012 4:40:33 PM
You never get ahead when all you're doing is getting even.

The best retaliation... get on with your life as if they no longer matter.
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