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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > How would you retaliate when cheated on?      Home login  
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 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 151
How would you retaliate when cheated on?Page 7 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)


i kinda see now where you're going with this. and i understand. i still won't do the pre-nup thing though. if i was about to get married, and ask for a pre-nup, to me it's like telling the woman "hey, i love you and everything, but just in case this marriage doesn't work out, i want you to sign this contract with a list of things...cuz i don't REALLY trust you 100 %, just at a very high 95%"

i can see how pre-nups work for some people. but for me, i don't think it would work. i dunno, i've never been married. plus i wipe the slate clean with each new potential date. and now, because of the bullsh!t that happened with me and my ex, i am able to see the obvious signs of what not to look for. she was a habitual cheater, so i will NOT date someone who's cheated on past relationship more than once, on 2 different boyfriends. i was the third she cheated on. she also showed other signs.

the person i end up marrying will not exhibit these red flags or warning signs of cheating. they are actually easy to spot, but sometimes you ignore them because you don't want to believe. it's about making the tough, RIGHT decisions even though those decisions are extremely hard to make.


I'd rather deal with heartache than deal with heartache and failure. I'll be damned if I loose half of everything I have worked for in a divorce. I understand where you are coming from, but you really cannot trust anyone nowadays. I don't need to touch the stove to know it could burn me, I already know it is hot. In other words, a wise man learns from his mistakes. A wiser man learns from the mistakes of others. Chances are, I'll never have to worry about pre-nups because I'll never find someone to marry. In the event that I do, I have a good plan in place. If she is offended by the thought of pre-nups, then she wasn't the one for me to marry in the first place.
 AxeMurderer75
Joined: 6/6/2012
Msg: 152
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/8/2012 8:44:38 AM
This thread is very messed up.

Nitemonger,

I felt sympathy for you as I read this thread, until I saw in another thread that you said you cheated on another ex.
And this woman who knew you for years obviously knew what you were doing. So she knows you are a cheater.

If you hadn't been a cheater yourself, I would fully support you in any attempt to seek revenge. Cheaters are the scum of the earth.

But now, I think you just got what was coming to you. Accept it like a man and remember how much this hurts. You should thank her for cheating on you so that you could feel the pain, and so that you would learn how much it hurts so that you would never do it again to someone else.

Hopefully this heleped you learn a lesson. I'm sorry it had to be so painful, but in a way, it's good that it was.
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 153
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/9/2012 8:37:06 PM

But now, I think you just got what was coming to you. Accept it like a man and remember how much this hurts. You should thank her for cheating on you so that you could feel the pain, and so that you would learn how much it hurts so that you would never do it again to someone else.


MisterMediocre i fully accept your critique and agree. the woman i cheated on, DID NOT deserve that sh!t. so now i know the really deep pain that it could cause to someone else. funny thing is.... growing up, i always said to myself that cheating would not be a thing i would ever do. how wrong was i....

the problem with my ex-GF is, she's a habitual cheater. so she'll go on continuing her cheating ways to the next sap that dates her. which is very unfortunate. i already paid my price with "karma" and so will she, eventually.
 PhotoGirl870
Joined: 6/14/2012
Msg: 154
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/10/2012 9:48:05 AM
How do I retaliate when cheated on. Well my ex fiance' cheated on me with a married woman. I was pissed but whatever, we split. Then soon after I got with an older much more attractive man and my ex was extremely pissed. He then came to ask me if him and I could get back together and I laughed hysterically in his face. My retaliation was to do better than my ex, and I succeeded.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 155
view profile
History
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/10/2012 1:12:29 PM
I wouldn't retaliate - I'm not a petty baby.

I was cheated on, knowingly, once in the past, and I let her explain her reasons, understood them, and let it go completely (but weighed that against furthering the relationship). Simple, and problem - free.
 Anywherbuthere
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 156
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/10/2012 2:14:00 PM
You walk away. I was cheated by my ex on a New Years Eve, in my home with about 50 people milling about. I walked in and BAM! My first thought was to...aww forget my first thought I liked my second thought better. I divorced her ass and walked away. So you walk away and put it behind you. Party over my friend.
 Jerilyn
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 157
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/13/2012 10:32:06 PM
""i fully accept your critique and agree. the woman i cheated on, DID NOT deserve that sh!t. so now i know the really deep pain that it could cause to someone else. funny thing is.... growing up, i always said to myself that cheating would not be a thing i would ever do. how wrong was i.... ""

I never read the other thread where you admitted to cheating, but just out of curiosity, nitemonger, who did you cheat with? This woman who has now cheated on you?

Well... if so, nice little lesson to be learned here...
 Reg_Herring
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 158
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/14/2012 8:12:02 AM

I got even with a girl who had dumped me...
She and I had split up and she was dating this other guy...
So, I'd stayed in contact with her.... (being the "friend" - which I don't do anymore...)
So anyway, she and I talked pretty regular on the phone...
So one night, I phoned her up when I knew she would be with her b/f... We chatted and I kept it deliberately light and fluffy... got her totally relaxed... I could hear him in the background... so I knew he could hear her...
At the end of the call, without any lead up, I said "Good night, Love you..."
She replied by reflex, "Love you too..."
I'd have loved to have been a fly on the wall at the other end.... LOL


M_church, this is your world. We just live in it.
 AxeMurderer75
Joined: 6/6/2012
Msg: 159
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/14/2012 9:08:14 AM
Nitemonger,

I think somehow you learned your lesson and that you'll be a better person.

Another lesson to learn here is to avoid cheaters, EVEN IF they are your friends for years, because they will likely do it to you too.
 Valentine74
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 160
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/16/2012 8:39:47 PM
You didnt have to do that. You sound vendictive and don't care abt who you hurt when someone has hurt you. So you feel better about possibly getting back at ur ex when you also hurt a innocent person in the process. Not condoning your ex's actions because she was wrong for what she did but so are you for what you done and if you don't think that karma won't come back and kick u in the ass then your fooling yourself. I don't have to get back at someone who had done me wrong. People get what they deserve in the end. I would have walked away, dusted myself off and moved on. After someone has cheated on me they aren't worth my time or energy even thinking about them any more.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 161
view profile
History
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/17/2012 2:34:11 PM

I got even with a girl who had dumped me...
She and I had split up and she was dating this other guy...
So, I'd stayed in contact with her.... (being the "friend" - which I don't do anymore...)
So anyway, she and I talked pretty regular on the phone...
So one night, I phoned her up when I knew she would be with her b/f... We chatted and I kept it deliberately light and fluffy... got her totally relaxed... I could hear him in the background... so I knew he could hear her...
At the end of the call, without any lead up, I said "Good night, Love you..."
She replied by reflex, "Love you too..."
I'd have loved to have been a fly on the wall at the other end.... LOL


Her BF: "Who was that?"
Her: "My mom."
Him: "okay."

*They have sex throughout the rest of the night.*
 angelaussie
Joined: 6/1/2012
Msg: 162
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/17/2012 6:02:53 PM
If it made you feel better doing this, then good for you
 Janet_Always
Joined: 6/20/2012
Msg: 163
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/18/2012 5:48:20 AM
Nothing wrong with telling the wife. I always suspect that they probably know on some level and choose to ignore the signals... but that's just my opinion.

I've never lived this scenario, but if I knew my SO was interested in someone else, sleeping around or otherwise dishonest I would just distance myself.

Any kind of retaliation would not make me feel better, but putting my own life back on track would.
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 164
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/18/2012 9:14:12 PM

You were just having sex,she was not your girl ,she was also having sex with someone else.No need to tell the wife

dwight. we were not "just having sex." we were in a supposedly committed relationship. made it official. where she even put on her facebook that she was my girlfriend. maybe you should read before you post. ;)


side note. my ex-GF recently put her profile on POF and starts off with "I am a loyal, honest, person. Looking for the same...." WTF!!! i am over her, but this sh!t infuriates me. it is a bold faced lie. her profile makes it sound like she's ALWAYS been screwed over by men. huh.... oh well.
 AxeMurderer75
Joined: 6/6/2012
Msg: 165
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/18/2012 10:46:50 PM

"I am a loyal, honest, person. Looking for the same...."


This shouldn't be upsetting you. She wasn't loyal and honest to you. Perhaps she wants to start off her next one the right way.

You see, habitual cheaters don't often go into new relationships with the intent to cheat. They often go in with the best intentions. It's just that they start cheating as soon as they get bored. So she isn't necessarily lying. It's just that she thinks she can be a better person this time around.

Let her try. She'll probably fail, which is a shame for the next man she meets. But let her try. Hopefully she straightens her life out. But who cares really. You are lucky to be rid of her. Go on to someone faithful. Remember, you are on here to find your "happily ever after". Don't waste your time dwelling on the one that definitely isn't that....or else you might miss the one that is!
 MrOogam
Joined: 12/1/2011
Msg: 166
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/19/2012 6:58:33 PM
I think he did the right thing. Nothing worse than finding out your partner has been cheating on you, & no one ever said a word though they all knew. And here I called them "friend". It all comes out in the end so who cares if some one give the "TRUTH" a lil nudge. Further more, do we not have the right, or maybe even the obligation to inform the other spouse/partner? what about STD's? Back in the day pop a cpl pennicillians all was ok, not the case in todays world. What about the kids on both sides? Lots of moral issues that can be debated both ways. Old saying is you gunna play you gotta pay, well he is paying about now I spose!!! Again me, I would have done the same as the OP.
In My case, I got even, but in a legal sort of way,
I filed for divorce. Fought for custody. It ran her through the ringer, exposed her for who & exactly what she is. Hard to pull the wool over the eyes of court appoiinted psych's when in a custody battle. She tried tho. This was the third time I knew of. I stayed in the past because I refused to leave my kids, the two oldest now in their 30's, back when they were smaller, courts handed mom custody hands down. No way I was going to be a part time Dad & loose my impact on their lives!!! Different story when it came to Our daughter, 10 yrs. younger than her brothers. So I fought the good & legal fight, won, then left her to her to be her own worst enimy
Prrof: neither will have anythig to do with , by, or for her unless it is out of obligation. She rarely sees any of her 4 grand daughters, 3 live less than 60 miles away!!! Yes the faithful need to be informed, a repercussion, the kids, my adult kids still talk about how their mothers behaviours as kids effects them today!!!
 morethanplenty
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 167
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/25/2012 1:23:54 PM
Good for you!!! You did the right thing don't let anyone tell you different.
 pantog
Joined: 1/6/2008
Msg: 168
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/25/2012 3:17:27 PM

I totally disagree with what you did.
There was NO NEED to notify his wife.
She has her own issues to worry about, and I am sure was well aware of what was going on.

Because of your pain, you lashed out and hurt someone else.
Yes karma will bite you in the ass.

You should have just closed the door and walked away with your dignity.


HELLO TO No-O

How does anyone know if the wife knew what was going on. You cant say she knew.

The Op did not hurt someone else. You have it backwards, her husband hurt her and the Op telling her was an outcome of what and how her husband was doing. Straight up and down like six o clock.

I would not turn a blind on knowing dissrespect is going on.
 LedZeppelin2014
Joined: 2/27/2012
Msg: 169
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 7/25/2012 3:50:37 PM
I disagree. If someone was cheating on me I would appreciate the notice. STD's aren't fun and she may not be the only extra partner. Be real if she wants to date multiple peoples it's OK as long as everyone knows about it.
 4x4guy95348
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 170
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/1/2012 3:54:13 PM
Oh I agree with what you did.

Sooner or later, your ex will figure things out and realize that you were helping her to keep it real.

Cheating with a cheating spouse is a BIG no no....

You did the right thing.
 Teacherluv
Joined: 5/15/2012
Msg: 171
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/2/2012 10:41:14 PM
You were WRONG!! What did this wife do to you?? It wasn't your place to hurt this woman out of spite. Do you know this wife?? You know how you felt when you heard this, you really want to wish this pain on another?? Especially a person you don't know.....
 Perspektiv
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 172
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/3/2012 3:25:38 AM
I wouldn't retaliate.

I'm a peaceful man, and as such would just cut them loose.
My attitude, is if they have the heart to do me like that, they don't deserve any further attention from me.
I'd rather put the anger to positive use, in that I would use it to improve and motivate myself, and move on.
I don't do drama, or petty and retaliating would be both.

I've had women do me wrong before, and peacefully ended the relationship.
Why sink to their level? I don't get those who would.

It only shows you're as immature as they are, and doesn't bode well for someone you plan on dating next.

How long someone has been in a relationship to me, doesn't determine their character.
How they broke up, does.
 NewYorkbiker
Joined: 2/10/2011
Msg: 173
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/3/2012 7:02:19 AM
If it was my ex wife that I was with for over 20 years that had done that to me, I am not sure exactly what type of revenge I would have taken, but I am sure that would have been one of the pieces of my revenge...
Now that I am happily divorced, I look at things a lot differently and if someone I am dating were to do that to me, no revenge needed, I would just move on...Not saying I wouldn't be hurt, but I have learned life is way too short and it is better to just move on and I do believe what goes around in life comes back around, sometimes in spades...
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 174
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/5/2012 8:43:38 PM
I wouldn't retaliate. Retaliation is as childish as laying and cheating is. I'd leave her, plain and simple, and move on to something better. They lost you and its up to them to deal with.
 RTFPORT67
Joined: 6/18/2012
Msg: 175
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/5/2012 8:58:51 PM
The best revenge is to move on and show her that you dont need her. My wife of 16 years cheated on me and I was devistated but she is not worth my time and energy. I have more important things to worry about like my two sons and makin sure this does not affect them. Once a cheater always a cheater.....they are good for each other...just pray that she comes crawling back to you and when she does hand her a cumcumber and tell her to go **** her self
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