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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > How would you retaliate when cheated on?      Home login  
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 RTFPORT67
Joined: 6/18/2012
Msg: 176
How would you retaliate when cheated on?Page 8 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
oh please....she has every right to know....especially if one of the people may have an STD....which you never know now a days....where is your sense of common decentcy and fair play....it is totally appropriate to FYI the spouse
 RTFPORT67
Joined: 6/18/2012
Msg: 177
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/5/2012 9:03:31 PM
notify the wife not out of spite but out of genuine concern for her physical and emotinal well being
 sunriseguy5
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 178
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/5/2012 10:25:11 PM
i would just end it and each go our separate ways.
 scotty_fife
Joined: 6/14/2012
Msg: 179
view profile
History
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/6/2012 10:07:55 AM
been in same situ mate, people are entitled to know the truth, its very hard to make a good decision without it, i think the guys wife included here,would say you done right thing, i wasnt trying to ruin their relationship......i knew i didnt need to..... affairs generally dont last, had words with him too and wasnt awfully polite about it, apart from that i pretty much got out with as much self respect as i could, i didnt tell lies, behaved as well as i could..........
 justbreathe101
Joined: 8/2/2012
Msg: 180
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/13/2012 1:45:30 PM
RIGHT ON!! GOOD JOB!! Forget anyone who says not...(I bet those are the people who cheated) The wife deserves to know she is with a scum bag! You may have saved her life!!! He could have brought home STD's or worst HIV. Now at least she knows where she stands and maybe she can find a worthwhile mate.
 OldSpice48
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 181
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/13/2012 4:23:07 PM
The gender is different, but for eye-opening & alarming examples of how someone dealt with their partner cheating, watch the official version of Carrie Underwood's music video "Before He Cheats" on YouTube. Link is http://youtu.be/WaSy8yy-mr8

& also the official video of Miranda Lambert's "Kerosene" on YouTube. Link is http://youtu.be/rB7ONnfIjaI


"Before He Cheats"
'Cause I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Oh, maybe next time he'll think before he cheats
Oh, before he cheats

"Kerosene"
Forget your high society, I’m soakin’ it in kerosene
Light ‘em up and watch them burn, teach them what they need to learn, HA!
(as she lights her ex's house on fire in the video!)

Double standard or what? These are both hugely successful songs in the country genre, yet if you changed the gender & it was a man doing this to a woman, there'd be a public outcry like you've never seen. The songs would be branded as misogynist & encouraging violence against women, & each song's character would be called a sociopath. But hey, it's a spurned woman, so that's OK? Sheesh!

In response to the OP's situation, I think telling the guy's wife is just common courtesy, not "retaliation" or revenge. I can't believe that people (a woman no less) posting here would actually say things like "You were WRONG!! What did this wife do to you?? It wasn't your place to hurt this woman out of spite. Do you know this wife?? You know how you felt when you heard this, you really want to wish this pain on another?? Especially a person you don't know.....”.

Lol, would this woman not want to know if HER husband was cheating on her??? What’s wrong with her? Maliciously causing harm is a different subject, I don't think revenge ever solves anything or makes you feel better. But informing the spouse of their partner’s philandering? It would be irresponsible & immoral NOT to tell them!
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 182
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/13/2012 5:48:29 PM
just checkin' in on my thread.... interesting perspectives on what people thought about what i did. but yeah, i find it funny that some people thought i was out to hurt that poor wife who's douchebag husband is trolling the internets looking for strange. whatever.

oh, and to the person that said it was "immature" of me to let that wife know. REALLY?? what the f!ck is your thought process behind this?? it took me about 2 weeks after i broke up with my cheatin' ex, to decide to let the wife of that douchebag know. i mean, the guy knew that at the time, i was dating my ex, so he intentionally came into my life, to f!ck things up. i thought i would return the favor, but after much consultation with friends and family. they all pretty much said for me to let the wife know. and as for my ex-GF, i don't think she's having much luck in the dating scene on POF. she's got one of those profile rants where apparently a bunch of dudes keep asking her for sex. BWUAHAHAHA!!!


It only shows you're as immature as they are, and doesn't bode well for someone you plan on dating next.

and

You were WRONG!! What did this wife do to you?? It wasn't your place to hurt this woman out of spite. Do you know this wife?? You know how you felt when you heard this, you really want to wish this pain on another?? Especially a person you don't know.....


immature to me, means that one acts without thought, and just does the FIRST thing that comes to mind when dealt a low blow. i thought long and hard about what i did. but you REALLY question my character because of this one thing?? to the TWO people that posted this: you think that because of this ONE thing i did, that i'm somehow a horrible "catch" for the next woman i date? really?? well then, everyone is entitled to their opinion. want to know what i think of you based on your INCREDIBLY narrow-minded posts?? HAHA! i don't think so.... and to others that didn't agree with what i did: i respect your opinions. but not these two other posters that i'm remarking about. it's never good to make assumptions folks. you know what that makes you..... these TWO made some really out of proportion assumptions about how i am in real life. HAHA!
 ChocoMamicita123
Joined: 7/3/2012
Msg: 183
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/14/2012 4:42:42 PM
Be the best person you can be, be fine and unavailable to them they lost their privileges of being in contact with you move on and leave them in the dust.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 184
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History
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/17/2012 10:32:11 AM
Retaliate? From most of the threads I've read on the forums over the years on the subject, that just seems like such a "chick" thing to do. But I digress.

You say that immature to you is acting without thinking. But that's exactly what you did if your intention wasn't to hurt his wife. Taking revenge on the guy is a cowardly thing to do, because he doesn't know you from Adam and probably doesn't care if you live or die. He's not the one who hurt you. Your ex did, and your issue is with her.

Taking revenge on the guy is like taking revenge on a buzzard that eats the rest of the dead chicken after the coyote steals it and eats all the good parts.
 authenticoutlook
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 185
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/17/2012 1:02:31 PM
Spiteful retaliation? Hmmm.. I have to agree with most that it's not worth it. I can agree on both sides of the fence on telling someone the partner is cheating or not. I've had friends do it themselves over the years. Some felt self righteous about it, some were just downright mad at their own partner and felt the same way you did that the third party was not going to get away with it either.

What's most important, is what's done is done. You can't change that action now. You can only move forward and heal and contemplate for yourself. Work on making yourself a better man from the lessons learned for someone you can love in your future.

Concentrate on that from now on and don't give anyone from that situation another second of your time or thoughts. They are not worth it or important any more and you are.

The first step is admitting what you did and did it for was spite from your own anger and hurt. At least you can stand up and admit your own actions. That... is a good start.
 ventti
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 186
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/17/2012 2:55:10 PM

Seriously how can you scold someone for telling the truth..

I agree. What did he do wrong here? Just told the truth..
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 187
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/17/2012 3:04:48 PM

You say that immature to you is acting without thinking. But that's exactly what you did if your intention wasn't to hurt his wife. Taking revenge on the guy is a cowardly thing to do, because he doesn't know you from Adam and probably doesn't care if you live or die.


i can somewhat agree to this. i knew that by telling the wife, it would hurt her. my intention wasn't to hurt her, but she is collateral damage (not my fault). and anyway, i'm not the married guy looking to stab her in the back. but i apologized beforehand. basically i told her sorry to be the bearer of bad news.... but you are right. the married douche doesn't know me and didn't care the consequences of his actions affecting me. he just wanted to be with my GF at the time. and my GF was "in love all these years" with him. i called my ex-GF out on her bullsh!t, and ripped her a new one. i know that i hurt her afterwards. But now i realize that she is, by nature, a plain deceitful liar, and of course, so is the married douche. just to give you folks an idea....

what i did was.... FUTILE. i recently looked at the married guy's facebook page. my ex-GF posts on the married douche-bag's facebook wall quite a bit actually. yep yep folks, THEY are still talking to each other on facebook. ..... my guess is either the wife dug her head in the sand, or the married douche made up some elaborate story to his wife that none of it (my email) was real. that maybe my ex-GF is "just a friend" or something and that i made the whole thing up. because i specifically stated my ex-GF's name to the married wife so that she knew who he cheated on her with. oh well.

The first step is admitting what you did and did it for was spite from your own anger and hurt. At least you can stand up and admit your own actions. That... is a good start.

yep yep. i OWN up to MY ACTIONS. and i am willing to pay the consequences for MY actions. as opposed to what some or most other people would do. i highly disagree with what i did being "cowardly" and "immature." to me, placing the "hurt" that i supposedly caused the wife is just "passing the buck" of responsibility off to someone else. i did not cause the hurt to the wife. her husband did. i just can't fathom how some of you people don't see that. oh well, it is what it is people. we live in a society where people just LOVE to NOT own up to their actions. ;)

you should look at some of my previous posts. they are an eye-opener.

deceitful, lying people are just going to continue on.... being deceitful, lying people.
 acceptable person
Joined: 6/25/2010
Msg: 188
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/20/2012 8:18:31 PM
I would NOT retaliate. My approach is that silence is golden and my energy would be used to move on.
 venomac1
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 189
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History
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/21/2012 3:48:00 AM
"All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." -- Edmund Burke

I will never again be silent when a wrong is being done in my presence.
 SparklingEyes67
Joined: 8/17/2012
Msg: 190
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/21/2012 6:20:13 AM
Doing things in spite only leads to regret. I understand you were pissed, mad, hurt and probably a million other things; but doing something just to get back at someone else is never the solution. One should never lower themselves just to get back at someone else because in the end you will only end up feeling bad about yourself. Karma is a b#tch and will always find a way to bite that person in the butt! You may not see it immediately but it will happen.
 A_Gent
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 191
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/21/2012 7:51:26 AM

"All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." -- Edmund Burke

I will never again be silent when a wrong is being done in my presence.


Ah! Yes!!

Yet wisdom is in knowing what is the RIGHT thing to do.

"An eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth leaves the whole world blind and toothless." various sources http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/12/27/eye-for-eye-blind/

Eye for Eye

38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’[h] 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
Love for Enemies

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, " http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+5%3A17-48&version=NIV

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

The best revenge is to live well.
 soots2
Joined: 7/28/2012
Msg: 192
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/21/2012 9:01:20 AM
very simple think your self lucky , you found out and count it as a blessing , she is not of your slandered , shake the guys hand because he is stuck with it you now free to find some one better
 GuyNumberSuchAndSuch
Joined: 8/16/2012
Msg: 193
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/21/2012 9:51:55 AM
I would not retaliate. Retaliation has very little to do with Love.
Was your love really true, if in the end all you can think of for this person is retaliation?
Retaliation makes a person cold, bitter and suspicious. Unlovable for the future.


I'd try something else but,

It's your call..
 angelaussie
Joined: 6/1/2012
Msg: 194
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/21/2012 10:38:24 PM
If I found out that my significant other was cheating, it would be a deal breaker for me. Revenge can be liberating, but the person you hurt was the wife, and she was an innocent party to this. I have found through experience that once a cheater, always a cheater and beleive she would have eventually found out, and then there are some women who know what their husband is doing, but look the other way because they are too scared to leave the secure lifestyle they have. Revenge always feels good at that moment, but once it's done, it doesn't feel very good.
 soozeeqq
Joined: 6/27/2012
Msg: 195
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/22/2012 4:05:32 AM
I would have done exactly what you did too. You give his wife the opportunity to find out for herself then what is going on and then she can gather the evidence to show him what a snake he is. Not that any of that will fix your relationship but I agree that the wife should know. I was recently screwed by my hubby with his boss and when they found out that I knew, well she told her wussy husband that I was a crazy woman and that I was threatening her and her children. Her husband believed her and they were going to go after me. I found that out from someone very close. I backed off and then realized that it wouldn't do any good to keep going with it. I just know what I know and that's enough. Anyway I believe with my whole heart that this relationship, just like your ex's will fizzle. Good luck in finding a good woman.
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 196
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/22/2012 3:15:32 PM
at soozeeqq

I was recently screwed by my hubby with his boss and when they found out that I knew, well she told her wussy husband that I was a crazy woman and that I was threatening her and her children. Her husband believed her and they were going to go after me. I found that out from someone very close. I backed off and then realized that it wouldn't do any good to keep going with it.


yeah, it's amazing how some people go through great lengths at concealing the truth. i think that's also what happened in my case. my ex-GF actually posts on the married douche-bags facebook wall. even though i told his wife the name of my ex, and about their affair, i'm willing to bet that they told her that i was crazy and made the whole thing up. it is what it is. can't do anything about it, and i won't. i've backed off a while ago. but the PROOF is stored away somewhere..... ;)

i also agree that it wouldn't do any good to keep going with it either. unless i run into her in public somehow on a chance encounter, and just as long as she doesn't provoke me, i'll let bygones be bygones..... it is a small world after all.
 nitemonger
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 197
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/23/2012 12:50:27 PM
m_church

i can safely assume everyone agrees that the wife should know about her cheatin' piece 'o' sh!t husband's deceitful ways, but they don't agree with HOW she was informed. i can understand that.

i completely agree that my reasons for initially telling her were out of spite - to hurt her husband and of course, my ex-GF. she definitely NEEDS to know that her husband cheated, but the reasons behind it were wrong (i.e. my spitefulness). now with that said, i completely DISAGREE with some of the "head in the sand" comments that i read. the ones that imply that i was the biggest douche on the face of the earth, for informing her about HER husband (as if to say i was the one f!cking her over. sheesh!!!)

i am of the type that if you come into my life to f!ck sh!t up, then expect me to return the favor. and i guess that's what some people don't agree with. ;)
 NarcissusTemple
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 198
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/28/2012 1:11:01 PM
I would have done what you did. Not for the spite reason, but to inform the uninformed.
Anyone who walks away without telling the wife is an accessory to the cheating.
The one being cheated on should have a choice to verify or deny the info. But without telling, there is no choice being given.
It's B.S. to say, "She already knows," or, "It's none of your business."
She/he may not, and it became your business when you came into the knowing.

Right on, mchurch.

Additional retaliatory actions: the SO no longer gets the pleasure of my presence in their life.
We are all either gifts or taxes in one another's lives. I strive for gifting.
 tygerpawn
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 199
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/28/2012 4:38:54 PM
Im sorry but I know how it feels to be cheated on and tempted to tell the other person, my sons father cheated on me
with a woman that I know and I know her husband, and I thought about telling the husband but my best friend did, nothing really happened, oh hes not seeing her anymore and as far I know they are still together.

I wished I would have told her but since my best friend did and nothing happened, maybe she didnt care? every relationship is different, I would have told the wife but not as revenge but maybe get checked because if they had unprotected sex you could catch something.

Safety is the key here, betrayal hurts yes, but there are bigger issues at stake.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 200
How would you retaliate when cheated on?
Posted: 8/29/2012 8:57:23 AM
If you all want to get some sort of revenge, then I have heard far nastier revenge stories.

Personally people don't cheat on me, so hard for me to really spend a lot of time thinking about revenge when I am thinking about how more fun the future is.
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