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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 51
Homophobia -- the DealbreakerPage 3 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
"Another ...lets hate religious people post !, the fact is, the hate is just as strong on both sides ,..just different haters"

And.....another "instant victim" post the internet seems to breed so well.

This has nothing to do with "hating religion." Relax.

Count me in for being turned off by homophobes-I dont want to listen to the spew, personally.

All of my long term relationships have been with people who are either Catholic or Christian, or come from that background. Never had an issue with religion or extremism. Religion and being against gays/abortion dont always go hand in hand.

I've actually found *political sidings* to be more of an issue, and have found more anti choice, anti gay and lack of care for the environment sentiment coming from Republicans.

Do I "hate" Republicans? Not at all. But I wont date or vote for 'em. :D

BIG DEAL.

Hate hate hate. Sheesh. Like no one is entitled to making decisions that are comfortable for themselves. This is more of an internet "pointing the finger game" than anything else because it is senseless. I can date whom I want to, no explanations needed.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 52
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/17/2014 8:47:52 AM
Yeah, homophobia is one of my deal breakers.

Side note...doesn't make sense that it should be
called homophobia. I'm pretty sure that most people
who are anti-gay or are homophobic do not have an
"irrational fear" of homosexuals.

I also don't see this as a "hate religious people post"...
talk about drama queen.

whoops...I see what I did there.
ahahahahahaha!
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 53
view profile
History
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/17/2014 9:34:19 AM
^^^^

Agree. I would not want a relationship with a person opposed to gay rights, racial equality, etc.

A segregationist is not necessarily anti black or afraid of blacks. I just think he is small minded and his belief system is not a positive in this world. 99% of most people in the world,...Asian!, white, black once frowned on mixed marriages. They were not all 'stupid '.

I think Christianity, the worship of a dead guy on a stick is , is ridiculous. I would not want my granddaughter going to a Christian school. Christians are ignorant in their beliefs. But I am not 'afraid' of Christians.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 54
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/17/2014 6:33:36 PM

I think Christianity, the worship of a dead guy on a stick is , is ridiculous. I would not want my granddaughter going to a Christian school. Christians are ignorant in their beliefs. But I am not 'afraid' of Christians.


Then I guess you can understand that some people might consider two guys with no kids getting married to be fairly ridiculous as well.But not to be of any threat to them.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 5/3/2014
Msg: 55
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/18/2014 10:10:14 AM
Love VK's post.

I AM Christian, but have had many, many many sometimes heated debates over how judgmental, incredibly patronizing and controlling their stance over people's own choices are. My faith is my faith; it is NOT my right to shove it down someone else's throat, nor will my life be ANY worse if two people of the same gender choose to get married. but it WILL affect their life if they can't, because some people are uncomfortable about it. For me it's about loving fellow man and appreciating the magic in teh world and the people in it; not trying to force a bunch of rules down other people's throats regardless of THEIR belief system.

And don't get me started on the off the charts republicans. I can be conservative in some things, be less so in others, but there have been a couple of dates where they were so extreme my tightly clamped down Irish wanted to make an appearance. I am moderate; the only issue I have with politics are the political bulldozers.

Anyone who has the need to belittle, control deride and claim their opinions are the universal truth and try to bludgeon others to buy in? I don't care HOW intelligent they are or how well thought out their opinions. The people that hate? Are people who need everyone to agree with them to feel validated. The fact is? We can agree to disagree while respectfully listening to each other, or people can feel personally rejected if someone does not buy into their opinion.

But homophobia? I am uncomfortable with people talking in an incredibly bigoted, disrespectful way about people who love people they would not choose to love.

If someone talks with hate and derision about fellow human beings? I won't date them either.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 56
view profile
History
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/19/2014 4:15:23 PM
Gee, this is just so trendy now. It's become it's own caricature.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 5/3/2014
Msg: 57
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/19/2014 8:31:44 PM

Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Message: Gee, this is just so trendy now. It's become it's own caricature.


Trenday schmendy. I have been getting attacked from a TON of people I know on behalf of how badly Christians are being bullied by gays.


What I keep hearing lately from more "fundamental Christians"? Is that they are now the ones being bullied and discriminated against.

They spoke of teachers who won't promote homosexuality in classrooms being able to be fired; they gave examples of people in business who are sued because they won't do an event that catered to a homosexual; and said that those who were gay were bullying and pushing their agenda onto the "victimized" poor Christian establishment, whose freedom of religion of not catering to "those people" were throwing away THEIR constitutional rights.

I don't know about that, but I know today my daughter's store had two Christians from the Christian lobbygroup in that mall go into the store, harass a gay male clerk so bad he broke down; then after badgering him, threatening him with hell, they then tried to get him fired. For being gay.

My daughter, who was acting manager that day; told the sales lead to find those two individuals who were not customers at all nor there on any personal business, JUST from the lobby group to push for the gay clerk to either repent or be fired, and had the lead tell those two individuals that if they went into that store for any reason security would escort them out. They are banned for life.

So if there is a story that comes out about a "gay agenda" store bullying poor Christian people and having the gay person get them banned?

They might want to talk to the people who were actually there. What was done to that poor clerk was REPREHENSIBLE and there was NOTHING Christian about it.

So if hating bigotry, self righteousness and not being comfortable around people who speak of people of a certain persuasion with coarse slurs, horrible derision and absolutely hateful names makes a caricature?

Count me in.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 58
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/20/2014 4:26:03 AM
^^^^
Sounds fabricated.Did the employee have a sign on his forehead declaring he was gay or something?If you feel that gays just want to be left alone I suggest you look at Ontario's sex education directives,and the man that prepared it,and what he has since been charged with.Many people do not want their children's development being unduly influenced with confusing signals at an early age.....period.

Huge difference between gay men and women as well,which is why they don't really get along.IMO,two women with kids tired of jerks preying on them and seeking comfort with one another in a committed relationship makes sense for them and the children.

What about the men?They bring new meaning to the definition of slutty and continue to contribute heavily to new aids cases,despite the attempts of some to blur this.I have a gay younger brother that lives with his mummy.His life is not all that gay,mostly emptiness.Easy sex does not necessarily equate to happy people.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 5/3/2014
Msg: 59
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/20/2014 6:27:32 AM

^^^^
Sounds fabricated.Did the employee have a sign on his forehead declaring he was gay or something?If you feel that gays just want to be left alone I suggest you look at Ontario's sex education directives,and the man that prepared it,and what he has since been charged with.Many people do not want their children's development being unduly influenced with confusing signals at an early age.....period.


nope. Gospel truth (pun intended)

The lead and two other sales associates were witness to the entire exchange. The clerk is not closeted; he has the "look" and the "manner" that they immediately honed in. The lead was horrified, the clerk was shaken up. Why do ANY gay people get targeted by homophobes? Because people see them and know they are gay.

Why would my daughter lie about it? What possible motive would she have to fabricate a story (that was relayed to her by THREE trusted employees, besides her trying to pull together the harassed clerk after they went off on him) AND ban two potential customers for life? She is not gay; and she IS a Christian.

But there was nothing Christian about that attack. And make no mistake? It WAS an attack.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 60
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/20/2014 6:49:38 AM
To Calguy, does is bother you that your brother lives with your mummy or does it bother you that he's gay? Or both? And no, just because you are gay it doesn't mean you live a slutty life full of easy sex. Many folks that are gay are depressed, not accepted by family and friends, lonely and feel empty.

You do realize that straight people get Aids too? My son was HIV positive, had a nice gal he lived with and was planning on marrying. He drowned before all this could transpire. Everyone that heard he had HIV said "oh, I didn't know he was gay?" Well, he wasn't but he was hooked on a needle for some time and sharing needles/sharing your heroine is a good way to get HIV/Aids.

It is stupid attitudes that contributes to new Aids cases and fun stuff like gay bashing, Lack of education and awareness contributes to stupid attitudes. Lack of proper sex education contributes to stupid attitudes. Lack of empathy and acceptance of ALL by most churches contributes to stupid attitudes. Lack of open minds contributes to the rest of the folks with stupid attitudes.

No one can MAKE you gay. You can't catch it like the flu or a cold. You don't choose to be gay anymore than you choose to be straight. Heck, there are more ***holes born every minute than gay folks - I'm more afraid of them than anyone else walking this planet.

So yes, homophobia would be a deal breaker - to me it shows a closed mind. If they have a closed mind on this topic, then they have a closed mind on many topics.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 61
view profile
History
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/20/2014 6:58:11 PM
Homophobia a deal breaker ? not a problem,people who demand i agree with and see things in life the way they do or be silent....a dealbreaker as well.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 62
view profile
History
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/21/2014 12:27:32 AM

To Calguy, does is bother you that your brother lives with your mummy...


Well, isn't that a High Level of argumentation!
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 63
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/21/2014 6:49:20 AM
""Homophobia a deal breaker ? not a problem,people who demand i agree with and see things in life the way they do or be silent....a dealbreaker as well.""

I think this is what we're all saying - making me believe what you believe may be a deal breaker. Why would we want to spend even a small portion of our time, let alone the rest of our lives, with someone that we disagree with or that our beliefs don't mesh. Seems simple really. I just want to know up front so that I don't waste my precious time on someone that is not on the same page as me.
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 64
view profile
History
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/22/2014 5:12:37 AM
OP--where is your profile?

I wouldnt state "its a deal breaker". A sensible, open minded person wont be homophobic. It might take a first or second date to learn this and then dont start with that individual.

It will look odd in the profile to state this. Just my opinion.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 65
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/22/2014 7:10:00 AM
^^^^
Exactly.OP should just be upfront....so he's bi,big deal.


Now for blue moon,sorry to hear about your loss.My kids were present when a friend and a bf drowned at a dam west of Calgary this summer.The older boy was the only child of a single mother.....

You certainly assume a lot,I have a gay uncle as well,he and my brother are both the youngest of the children.

Nothing can make people gay?Why the unending desire of educators to teach these kids about alternate lifestyles at such an early age?Have you had a bi experience?I could care less.As for me possibly not knowing that people other than gays can acquire poz status......yeah,major newsflash.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 66
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/22/2014 8:10:05 AM
Regarding teaching children about alternate lifestyles at an early age - well, I don't know if I'd say the word "alternate". What we should be "teaching" children at an early age is that there is no difference between a straight person, gay person, white person, black person, male, female, Down Syndrome, physical disability, etc. We're all just people. No extra emphasis on anything except that we're all the same/we're all different and except everyone as they are.

Bigots, racists, homo-phobics, etc. are taught - they weren't born that way.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 67
view profile
History
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/28/2014 4:17:40 PM
I wouldn't make any assumptions about any individual based on religion. You don't know.

Whether to put something in your profile or not is up to you, but certainly I'd bring it up very early. I think it would be fine to say something along the lines of "Tolerance is a quality that's very important to me. I have diverse people in my life and I'm looking for a man who is secure enough in himself and accepting enough of others that he will not be uncomfortable with my friends and relations. In particular, I have family members who are gay and if their presence in my life makes you at all uncomfortable, please pass me by."

I'm not sure that I'd use the word "homophobic" because people seldom admit to that. It's always couched in something else. For instance, my former husband insisted he wasn't homophobic but he always found some reason to dislike or distrust my gay friends. It was obvious to me he had a problem with them being gay but he would never have admitted that to himself.

You can't ever guarantee someone isn't going to break your heart. You can put out there what works for you, what doesn't, but in the end, you just don't know. People don't always know themselves.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 68
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/30/2014 8:54:35 AM

What about the men?They bring new meaning to the definition of slutty and continue to contribute heavily to new aids cases,despite the attempts of some to blur this.I have a gay younger brother that lives with his mummy.His life is not all that gay,mostly emptiness.Easy sex does not necessarily equate to happy people.


My thirteen -year-old boy recently "came out." He's one of the most empathetic and kindly people I know; not because he is gay, but because that's whom he is. He was born gay. This is who he is and he deserves all the rights a human being should have. There isn't anything dirty about his nature. He's also not a miserable selfish ***hole t that believes he's owed anything simply because he's male.

He wants a job -- unfortunately, in my state, he can't have a proper job at an establishment until he is 14. He wants a place of his own after he graduates from University and becomes established in the working world. These are his dreams. His dreams aren't to live off me, which I wouldn't allow, anyway, unless there were extenuating circumstances which prevented him from living his life independently.

With extensive and comprehensive sex education classes at school and what I've taught him at home, which was long before he had these classes, he'll not go out into the world with shame and ignorance. I was also very frank about the history of HIV/AIDS and the historic and current statistics of which I'm aware, with information from professionals in the field whom I contacted, so he is armed with facts before he starts meaningful relationships. I've also had a heart to heart about relationships. He will still make his own choices, and I hope he chooses responsibly for the sake of his physical and mental health. (And no, none of his education by me was through a bigoted, hetero-centrist lens.) You know what? He's still a child who plays the occasional WII U games and builds things with electronics and everyday items that he's re-purposed. He is still a child -- and a well-informed one consistent with his age and stage of development.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 69
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/30/2014 6:44:16 PM
^^^^^
And who helped make up his mind at the tender age of 13?Seriously?He's been confused by an older man is my guess.He has barely reached pubescence.This is why I don't want these agendas in the schools.This is why you need a man around,to give him guidance.Very few people are born gay.Mostly its a choice,and your son is far too young to decide this.I would be looking for somebody to strangle.This is a disaster,what about your parents?Figure out what is wrong,its not too late.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 70
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/30/2014 6:54:20 PM
So first we have "he's been confused by an older man...". Then we have "you need a man around". So what is it?? Seems you're confused too.

And yup, right after a kid wants to be a cowboy or a fireman...number three on the wish list is to be gay. And I'd like to see you stats on "very few people are born gay". See, I believe you are born gay...bigotry, homophobic, narrow mindedness are taught.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 71
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/30/2014 7:20:09 PM
Confused?A real man,that likes women.Plays sports etc.And who exactly has presented the notion that "being gay" is number three on the list?Maybe that prof in Ontario forming the sex ed curriculum that was charged with PRODUCING child porn?I'm not homophobic,if consenting adults want to engage,who cares.Notice I said adults.Leave the kids alone.Maybe this is a time when legal whorehouses would be of value.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 72
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/30/2014 7:40:41 PM
First off, anyone producing child porn is lower than low,and should be thrown in jail...for a long, long time. And it's not just professors that are into children or child porn...priests come to mind when I think of raping/abusing children.

And, are you intimating that a good old visit to a whorehouse will change a young man's mind on being gay? And there is "value" in this? And many gay men are very manly, play sports, enjoy hunting and fishing, football, hockey, working on cars and motorcycles, enjoy a beer or a shot of Jack Daniels. Yanno, real men.

Yes, a child can know at a young age that they are gay. At 13, I'm sure they know. Ask your brother when he knew he was gay. Or ask one of your gay friends when they knew they were gay.

Kudoes to Eternity for treating this in a mature manner.
 mike11091
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 73
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/30/2014 8:55:46 PM

Kudoes to Eternity for treating this in a mature manner.


^^
Whether or not he's 'actually gay' is irrelevant. He's made a choice that really...shouldn't matter much. He can also change his mind later, if he wants.

Got a family friend that's been gay since he was young, 11ish? I'm not sure. BUT his family is friends with mine and they say he's just...always been that way. No "disconnected relationship with his father", no daddy issues. His older brother coaxed him into sleeping with a woman when he was a teenager and...he's still gay.

Homophobia is actually hilarious. Do you interview your friends? Make sure they're straight? I can only imagine...
Religiously speaking, what business is it of yours? Isn't it God's job to do the judging? I'm sure I read that somewhere...

Anyway...TO THE OP, be honest with people, maybe tell them via messages, but if you list this on your profile it's just going to increase the amount of nasty messages you receive...because the internet is full of twelve year olds with no supervision.
 calguy14
Joined: 8/17/2014
Msg: 74
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/31/2014 4:05:46 AM
^^^^
Kids can't vote,drive,own property or be sued.But I guess their "choice" that may have been influenced by an older person who came within an inch of an interfering with a minor is valid.

On a dating site I believe there are one heck of a lot more delusional people than 12 year olds

@Eternity
sorry if this jolts you.......this is a lifestyle that readily welcomes youth.When they get older its put on your shades and bring your wallet.....
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 75
Homophobia -- the Dealbreaker
Posted: 10/31/2014 7:05:52 AM
Oh FFS.

So it's a choice. And YOU bring up the word "delusional". I can choose to dye my hair pink or choose whether to be Goth for awhile or choose between a ham sandwich and roast beef. I didn't choose my sexual orientation and didn't choose whether to be attracted to men or women or even be asexual.

I think you have a few hang ups regarding your brother being gay, actually, a few hang ups in general. And I'd like to see some sort of proof or data regarding "bring your wallet". And of course the gay community welcomes youth - many of their parents disowned them, made fun of them, took them to psychologists, ignored them, beat them, tried to have god take the badness out of them, shunned at school, shunned by family, shunned by the general population - yup, I know I'd want to "choose" this.

And there are no 12 year olds on this website - they may ACT like a 12 year old. No, not delusional...a realist.
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