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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Are men really willing to wait for sex?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 NEEDING4REAL
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 51
Are men really willing to wait for sex?Page 3 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
I am willing to wait,all good things come in good time........
 HeartOn64
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 52
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/26/2012 8:22:25 AM
"Men see sex as a way to build intimacy in a relationship, whereas women see sex as an indicator that intimacy has already been established."


Even if it hasn't been! lol


Sound accurate to anyone?


If you feel the need to generalize...why not this one?

Men: Sex first...love later.
Women: Love first....sex later.

I tend to think of them as one in the same,but then again,I can't seem to compartmentalize so I wind up being this saying:

Making love: What women do when a man is f*cking her! lol
 ANTHETITIC
Joined: 3/1/2012
Msg: 53
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Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/26/2012 9:01:23 AM
I HAVE NEVER BEEN PRESSED FOR SEX, BUT IF I'M REALLY INTO THE WOMAN AND SHE IS STIMULATING ME ON A MENTAL LEVEL, WAITING IS NO BIG DEAL BUT ARE WOMEN WILLING TO WAIT FOR SEX, ALL MEN ARE NOT SEX DEPRIVED ANIMALS THAT CAN'T GO WITH SEX, ALTHOUGH WE DO LOVE IT.
 RUtheone39
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 54
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/26/2012 11:06:09 AM
Look prometheus, you're a butt. Don't worry I wouldn't date you either. I don't have a logical breakdown associating sex as a chore. I love sex, I love oral sex, thats not the problem. I would have sex with a guy if we were both ready. That isn't what I am saying. I am asking knot head if a man is really willing to wait for sex, like they say they are.
Sex isn't the only thing I have to offer to anyone. I'm a good person, fun to be around. I just have been out of the dating game SO long. Gee with asses like you on this site who wants to try dating someone off of POF.
 RUtheone39
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 55
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/26/2012 11:14:41 AM
citigent, I know that it might not sound like it, I want sex, I need sex. I've been without for 4 years. I lust after the nice smelling guys I pass in the grocery store. I'm not carrying issues for my marriage. I want sex in a relationship. All I want to know is, IF I would ask a guy to wait, is he really willing to wait for sex, or is he handing me a line of bs.
 Frogy27
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 56
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Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/26/2012 11:36:09 AM
you would any person wait for sex and the ppl who do seem crazy to me like said if ther gir dont put out in frist 2 weeks am gone no point in hanging around
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 57
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/26/2012 1:34:47 PM

I am asking… if a man is really willing to wait for sex, like they say they are.

a) Men vary. Some will be willing, some won’t.

You haven’t told us anything about the men or the circumstances you’re referring to, so who’s to say if they’re telling you the truth or not? Why would they lie?

Expecting that we know their intentions just because they’re men is a bit problemmatic to begin with. We weren’t there. All we know is that they’re men.

And if you’re ready to throw in the towel at POF because you encounter one butt, I think you’re generalizing much from little rather then seeing men as individuals.

I wouldn’t wait for sex. We would be waiting for sex. Not since I was twenty-one have I been with a woman who saw herself as the gate-keeper. We’d wait for mutual reasons that we both agreed were important to us. And we’d probably both know when the time was right. If we weren’t in synch with each other right from the start, I’d wonder if it was worth continuing.

If you’ve encountered men who agreed to wait and then changed their minds, they may not have lied to you. They may have reconsidered for any number of reasons. Maybe they found other reasons to move on. Maybe they weren't really on board to begin with. Who knows.
 hunter202
Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 58
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Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/26/2012 2:10:49 PM
I guess I'll be the oddball on this thread......30 years ago I lived for one one night stand after another. The morning after, I'd put another mental notch in my belt and try to feel good about myself after using yet another woman to appease my selfish lust. Then the emptyness sets in and scan the horizon for another night's entertainment. Something happened along the way. I started feeling guilty about treating woman like a piece of meat...so I changed. I changed so much and have come to cherish the female gender that I've gone about 10 (yes TEN) years now, refusing to settle for just sex but rather waiting for the right relationship and commitment to experience intimacy as it was intended to be...making love.
I no longer see it as a chance to get pleasure but rather give it. Any pleasure I would get, is considered a bonus. I kid you not. I've turned down offers from "plain Janes" to models and even one former top model (which was looking mighty fine if I might add). To each their own but there's no compromise here...
 prometheus76
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 59
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/26/2012 2:31:28 PM

I appreciate women that are intelligent, educated, cultured and accomplished.


I do too, but none of those qualifiers eliminates enjoying sex.

An emotionally healthy woman should want sex as much as you do.


I will wait as long as necessary because a woman like that is rare, uncommon, and not easy.


You mean the kind of woman that thinks of her junk as some kind of commodity she can use to bend the relationship to her control. You cannot sit there and really believe that waiting for her to say "I'm ready" isn't her way of controlling the line as long as she can.


We will have open conversation so we understand each other and will talk about sex. And usually they don't make me wait very long.


You are confusing the issue at hand. The OP and others are of the mindset that a man should wait an indefinite amount of time for her to "be ready" to have sex. What you are experiencing is completely normal.

In a healthy relationship the female does not control the advancement of intimacy, if she throws up road blocks when the mood is definitely right; then she is the one with issues. Not the man.
 prometheus76
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 60
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/26/2012 2:39:43 PM

Look prometheus, you're a butt. Don't worry I wouldn't date you either. I don't have a logical breakdown associating sex as a chore. I love sex, I love oral sex, thats not the problem. I would have sex with a guy if we were both ready. That isn't what I am saying. I am asking knot head if a man is really willing to wait for sex, like they say they are.
Sex isn't the only thing I have to offer to anyone. I'm a good person, fun to be around. I just have been out of the dating game SO long. Gee with asses like you on this site who wants to try dating someone off of POF.


You aren't the keeper of the potential sex in a new relationship. It's not your responsibility to force a wait time and if you attempt to do so; you are going to get static from healthy individuals.

I'm sorry if I misconstrued your intended point, but your OP isn't exactly the clearest of communications.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 61
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Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/26/2012 2:44:42 PM
If I care about a woman I'll wait. In fact, if I care about as woman I'm more than pleased if she isn't too free with her body. I might want to jump her bones but her integrity makes her 'a keeper'. Most guys probably like to hear some variation of 'I'm not that type of girl' from a woman we are falling in love with. We let our hand slip over a woman's breast in a movie or wherever and a woman playfully brushing it away the first few times is all part of the mating game.

Of course, as a guy, I have my limits. If we've been dating steady for a decent length of time and she doesn't want to have sex then I'll move on. I'm not an inanimate being. I'm a male and 'need' sex. I suppose some guys might seek it elsewhere but I'm a one-woman guy.
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 62
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Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/26/2012 3:09:51 PM
" I just have been out of the dating game SO long. Gee with asses like you on this site who wants to try dating someone off of POF."

THAT will win you points in the POF Dating Popularity Contest.

You are entitled to your opinion, and Generalizations. That goes both ways, you know ? Like when a man says something to the effect that women are controlling, so who wants to date them off of POF. I disagree with both approaches.

Like when SOME men read, " I just have been out of the dating game SO long." SOME men do not want to be her, ' welcome back to the dating world,' Guinea Pig. Despite your other appealing qualities.

SOME men prefer a more seasoned potential dating partner, with RECENT dating, or relationship experience.
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 63
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Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/26/2012 3:11:39 PM
" I just have been out of the dating game SO long. Gee with asses like you on this site who wants to try dating someone off of POF."

THAT will win you points in the POF Dating Popularity Contest.

You are entitled to your opinion, and Generalizations. That goes both ways, you know ? Like when a man says something to the effect that women are controlling, so who wants to date them off of POF. I disagree with both approaches.

Like when SOME men read, "" I just have been out of the dating game SO long." SOME men do not want to be her, ' welcome back to the dating world,' Guinea Pig, Despite your other appealing qualities.

"yes a months of dating down the road I might be ready for the sex,.."

"So for the guys, would you really be willing to wait a few months before having sex with a woman you are dating?"

Sex is in a committed, consenting, adult relationship is : intimacy, sharing, bonding, communuicating, trust, and much more.

That being said...No, I would not be willing to wait for a woman who is, dating wise, where you happen to be at this point in your life, and with your stipulations. Any woman who fits your recent level of dating experience, and has the brakes on sexual activity for MONTHS, would not be ready to give me ALL of herself, nor receive ALL of me, until months later. My time, and my effort are valuable to me. I wouldn't FULLY be myself, and neither would you.

And for those reasons, I don't want to date half of a woman, or share half of myself with her. I wouldn't drive half of a car.

SOME men prefer a more seasoned potential dating partner, with RECENT dating, or relationship experience, and without sexual expectations , and certainly without a woman waving a calendar in her hand. I would be one of those men.
****************************************************************************

"I think there will be many that finally tire of all the bad that goes along with the quick, easy, hedonistic fulfillment of most of the just met instant sex scenarios that go on nowadays etc.."

What about all of the bad that comes with UNFULFILLMENT, that sometimes comes after waiting for months in ABSTINENCE HELL ? Sex is an important, healthy part of most adult relationships. I wouldn't make 6 months of payments on a car, without having test driven it. I like knowing what I am getting, as well as how my giving is being received.
 OutofControlMan
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 64
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/26/2012 3:31:06 PM
not for VERY long, you know this question is funny, it ASSUMES that men ALWAYS want sex immediately out of the gate, and women do not.

It ASS-umes that women always want to wait (maybe for months or years) and men mostly want sex on a first date or within 5 minutes. these things may have been the experiences of SOME people, but it doesn't mean that you can reliably apply these broad generalizations to ALL men or ALL women.
I've had times where I wanted sex fairly early on, others where I could wait & get to know a person, and known women that have wanted sex right away (first date) when I wasn't into it..so....

probably you could say when younger I was in more of a hurry, but now starting to take the long view.
 foreachother
Joined: 4/7/2012
Msg: 65
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/26/2012 3:36:05 PM
Yes I would be willing to wait, as hopefully it would be with someone worth waiting for first and foremost anyhow.. I think there will come a time again where the bombardment of quick easy sex all over the place will make it such that waiting will be the new avant-garde to explore.. I think there will be many that finally tire of all the bad that goes along with the quick, easy, hedonistic fulfillment of most of the just met instant sex scenarios that go on nowadays etc..
 hotmerlot
Joined: 2/25/2012
Msg: 66
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/26/2012 7:03:38 PM
It's about chemistry and intimacy and that moment usually picks itself. It's not a reward I bestow on someone for being a good boy. Men can sense when a woman really desires them (hormones maybe) and they can't help responding.

Fake passion or force intimacy to conform to a certain schedule and you will kill that passon forever.
 Frogy27
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 67
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Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/26/2012 7:48:49 PM
sex is number 1 in a relship with out sex ther no point ib puting up with the bs and drama
 cbbull21
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 68
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/26/2012 8:21:45 PM

and not what's between my legs, and how good the head is. So for the guys, would you really be willing to wait a few months

Correction: "and not Just what's....."
A few months? Where's all the foreplay, the romance? I can't speak for anyone else, but to me that seems like a short time frame.
 Helloitsmeyourlookingfor
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 69
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/27/2012 7:25:00 AM
Depends if the ongoing relationship is worth it.
 ariat82
Joined: 4/9/2012
Msg: 70
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/27/2012 10:24:29 AM
There are men out there who will wait. I have dated 2 and both turned into LTR's. And with that said, We waited 2 months (with both relationships) and when it did happen it was amazing. I think if you are compatible in a relationship then THAT alone will make the sex amazing. But I am also one who finds sex very important in a relationship so if I had been disapointed I might have considered breaking up if after several tries it never improved.
 playfulpete
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 71
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/27/2012 11:02:57 AM
waiting for a while is cool but a long long time no i wouldn,t
 cccccsssssss
Joined: 4/9/2011
Msg: 72
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Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/27/2012 11:50:15 AM
The last relationship I was in ended over 5 months ago, before that I was single for even longer. If I started a new relationship today and the woman said that she wanted to wait 2 months before we have sex, then I'd be stupid to end the relationship because it's likely I wouldn't meet anyone else for another 5 months. So in a choice between 2 months which is almost guaranteed and possibly 5 months or longer with no guarantees, I'd take the 2 months. So yes, I really am willing to wait.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 73
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/27/2012 12:42:13 PM
Not only that, just because she says she wants to wait, or even decides at first that she's going to wait, doesn't mean that she will in fact wait...

That has to be in the running for understatement of the year. Except for a few anomalies, a wman who says up front that she will wait 2 months, will only wait that long if all she does for the first 7 weeks is shake hands goodnight.

The things that make you more-or-less certain that you want a relationship with this person at all happen within a pretty short timespan..

Sure, but my point was that the things that make one see that the relationship isn't going to work, take a lot longer and the longer one waits to have sex, the longer it takes for those things to come out. People feel more willing to let others see them as they are when they've had sex and feel more comfortable with each other (unless I'm just an anomaly who feels completely at ease with someone I've slept with, by virtue of having slept with her.) Sex is what allows you to really see into someone deep down.

While I understand why a woman doesn't just want to hop into bed quickly without knowing if the guy will have a relationship with her first, I just don't think that it will make a difference in the end. If a guy was always after sex and not a relationship, he will STILL bail no matter how long a woman made him wait... assuming he even waits at all.

I agree and by waiting, what one mainly accomplishes is taking longer to to figure out the relatioship was a bad idea and regretting the sex as a ``mistake'' and becoming jaded instead of enjoying it for what it was and moving on.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 74
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/27/2012 5:08:21 PM

This makes more sense then just about anything I have read regarding this topic.

I think that only makes sense if you start out assuming that sex is something men want and women give up. If I went 10 years without sex, I still wouldn't date a woman who wanted to wait 2 months for sex even if I was unlikely to have sex for another year. It's not about getting laid. (If it was, I could just pay for sex and skip the whole dating/relationship thing altogether). It's about the entire mindset and personality of a woman who needed to wait 2 months to have sex with me. The sex itself is secondary and it's not that difficult to get laid just to get laid.

Pretty unbelievable when a man say's it's not likely he will wait a month to have sex with someone he just met and started dating. Many of you men are constantly talking about women having "entitlement issues"......sounds like it's the other way around.

I don't see the entitlement issue here. I have never asked a woman to have sex. nor put any pressure on a woman to have sex. A woman I date would either have sex with me or not have sex with me as she saw fit. if I had ever been in a situation where a woman I was dating didn't have sex fairly quickly, I'd have respected her wishes by simply not dating her rather than trying to talk her into it or pressuring her. I don't see that as an entitlement issue. It's a personal prefeence based on my assumption about being compatible.

And some would say that maturity would include knowing not to sleep with someone you don't know very well.

I fail to see how maturity has anything to do with whether or not one has sex immediately or waits 6 months. What waiting or not waiting involves is a person's attitudes about sex and one's inhibitions, not maturity. Some people think driving race cars is too risky, but that doesn't make race care drivers immature because the get a thrill from driving race cars.
 prometheus76
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 75
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/27/2012 7:40:41 PM

why would he not be willing to wait a month or two??


Wait for what? What is he waiting for? For you to raise the flag and say it's okay? Do you honestly not see that as you having a control issue? Do you not like sex? Is your body not screaming at you to mate? What exactly are you going to learn that will allow you to open the gates of Minas Tirith?


And some would say that maturity would include knowing not to sleep with someone you don't know very well.


You are far too old to be attempting the fallacy.
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