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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Are men really willing to wait for sex?      Home login  
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 TheMayorofMulberrySt
Joined: 1/11/2006
Msg: 76
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Are men really willing to wait for sex?Page 4 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
...been waiting for months.... Big deal. I've slept around and the fact is: I prefer not sleeping around or juggling women.
 qldblue
Joined: 2/4/2009
Msg: 77
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/27/2012 9:38:07 PM
It all depends on the two people, if they click or the "magic" is there then the chances of having sex sooner rather than later will happen.

Speaking for myself and not spruiking my views but when I had sex real early in the relationship then the relationship didn't progress very far, not blaming the women for the failure at all.

I just found out that I prefer to build a relationship over time without getting involved sexually too early.

As some posters have said it all depends on the people involved and if you have to wait then you have a better chance of discovering each other in a different light.

I think the movie 50 First Dates whilst funny does emphasis that waiting can be good for some.
 Rob3444
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 78
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/27/2012 11:19:51 PM
I think you should wait, because that's what you want to do.

Me it would seem way to odd. I'm not looking for that special someone to eventually (possibly) room with so we can make points on principal. If I am not attracted to that attitude I do know some guys are. They share your view so it could work for you. It's nothing against you it just shows how different people think. You seem like a nice person. There are different types of fish.
I would really only want to date a woman that is wanting sex as much as I do.

I see it as an alpha will not wait, so you get a beta. A beta will give you more attentive to you as a person. Alphas are dead sexy though.
 Frogy27
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 79
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Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/28/2012 7:15:15 AM
Sex is the resone I would have a gf that the point sex is what I want and to have in a relship my folk been married 28 yrs and havent had sx in ten yrs t
 Frogy27
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 80
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Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/28/2012 7:16:23 AM
I dont want to end up like that in a relship with out sex
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 81
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Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/28/2012 8:32:01 AM
For my ideal match, I'd be willing to wait a while, maybe up to 3 months. If she wanted me to wait longer without having an incredibly good reason, she wouldn't be my ideal match after all. I don't think any relationship I've ever been in went beyond 5 or 6 dates without having sex. Most involved sex by the third date. I do tend to avoid sex on the first date.

Abelian in Msg 102 accurately describes the attitude I also have about this subject.
 wildlifelover1979
Joined: 2/11/2011
Msg: 82
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/28/2012 12:25:34 PM
Seeing how it has been over a year since I had sex I guess you could say I can wait. But then I waited another 3 years before that and another 3 years after that woman. Seems they all left me because they didn't want to have sex with me. Told me they just wanted to be friends or we had nothing in common. That really upsets me when a woman has sex with me and I call her the next day and she tells me we have nothing in common or no chemistry. They always seem to use me.
 acsmith72
Joined: 12/3/2011
Msg: 83
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/28/2012 6:03:59 PM

So for the guys, would you really be willing to wait a few months before having sex with a woman you are dating?


For me, no. Waiting is a game. Waiting for what? Does a magic sex fairy sprinkle the do it dust on you after X amount of time has passed? For me it could be the first date, or it could be the third date, but whenever we both feel like doing it, that's when it happens.

Imagine you get a guy to wait a few months, you're horny, ready to go, and he says "I think we should wait a few more months just to be sure". What then? Plus, now you've invested all this time with another person and have this attachment, so if it doesn't pan out, you've just spent months on end cut off from sexual release.
 acsmith72
Joined: 12/3/2011
Msg: 84
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/28/2012 8:18:23 PM
This isn't the 80s. No one's going to think you're a whore or write it on a bathroom wall. lol.

The absolute longest I waited to have sex was 3 months and that was the first girl I had sex with. On average it's between 1 and 3 dates. By the 3rd date both people know if they have some chemistry. If they don't, there isn't a 4th. If it's on the 1st date, it's like a one night thing usually, but the three longest relationships I had (3 years, 2 years, and 7 years) were all with people I had sex with on the first date. Waiting just doesn't mean anything in terms of how long a relationship will last. If anything, if it's just to make them wait, or "earn it", it's going to create resentment.

I've turned girls down for sex myself. I just wasn't into them. Know how guys get uptight when that happens? Girls get PISSED when you turn them down. As if the offer means we OWE them sex. lol
 fruct
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 85
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/28/2012 8:37:41 PM
insecure people sleep around, period.
 Rob3444
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 86
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/28/2012 9:35:44 PM
If both people are happy waiting is not a problem.
If someone has sex with anyone willing, and is honest about it and not making false promises it is not a problem.
Some see it as almost sacred and have strong feelings about it, waiting is a part of the high for them.
Some don't think it's any different than having a coffee with someone.
As for me I need to care for the person, that usually happens quickly or I know if there is chemistry very soon.
That said I don't feel my way is better than the sleep with anyone guy or wait for months guy.
I don't go out with woman that are into one nighters, I'm looking for a relationship that suits me. I also would never go out with a woman that says lets wait for a long time because she wants me to love her brain first. I like to start with the brain but not wait eons for desert. I don't judge or look down on the other ways of going about it because I don't care what others do in their sex lives, unless I get to watch.
 barky bark
Joined: 8/31/2010
Msg: 87
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/29/2012 9:42:07 AM
hell yeah I'd wait. I'd be a little cautious if she wanted it too soon.
 edmerckx
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 88
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Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/29/2012 9:56:49 AM
If a woman has so little interest in sex that she wants to wait two months, I figure we're a poor match and we're done.
 sirsoul
Joined: 3/15/2012
Msg: 89
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Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/29/2012 10:57:24 PM
sorry ruth, you only have your opinion because you've been hurt. I'm sorry about that. You want a guy who you know will be with you for the long term. You're using sex as the barometer to test if he'll stick by you. Rather, lack of sex. You say you want him to love you for you, and not what's in between your legs. That's just your rationalization. What you're really saying is you want a provider guy, and the sexy guy isn't really that important. That's fine if that's what you want. .... I just thought I'd decode the language for any chumps out there who dont' get it. A guy who is willing to wait for sex doesn't necessarily mean he "loves you for you". It could just mean he wants to be the provider guy. That, or he is so insecure about his ability to attract another female that he'll just let you dictate the terms of the relationship for fear of losing you. Careful, you can wind up with a real chump.

"So for the guys, would you really be willing to wait a few months before having sex with a woman you are dating?"

NO!!!!!!! Never. Not for anyone, not no way, not no how. The reason isn't because I don't love the girl. I could love her deeply. There's a girl I'm in love with, but if she told me she'd only be with me if I must wait months before we have sex, I would not accept that and I would have to try to change the way she feels. Why? Because her with holding sex means that she's saying, "I will literally lead you around by the balls, and the only way our relationship is going to happen is if we do it on MY terms". Why would I want that? She'll likely end up just using whatever value she gets from me at this point in her life, then dumping me later on, or cheating on me with some guy she finds more attractive..... for example, some guy who isn't such a wuss that he'd wait months for to have sex! She'd probably cheat on me with some dude who can just turn her on after a few minutes in a bar. Being willing to wait months for sex would lower my status as a man, and as a sexual person. It makes the man put the woman and her vagina on a pedastal. It would make the man desperate for her approval. Screw that.

So if I was with a girl and we both knew we were totally in to each other, and she pulled some line like she wants to wait months before we have sex, this is what I would do. ... First, I would be freaked out, really turned off and lose a lot of attraction for her because I would know that the only reason she would make such a retarded request is because she has some deep issue, that she's probably going to keep bringing up and testing me on it, over and over again. Next, I would make it clear in no uncertain terms that I ain't gonna wait for her. Then I would do my damdest to F. U C. K her right then and there to show her that I am the man, I am the leader, not some p.ussy whipped b.itch. If she refused my advances after a couple days, I'd have to drop her. I would try to lead her by showing her that I'm a man, and I'll lead her through her bad emotional times, and just because I f.uck her doesn't mean I don't love her. That is how I would want to make her feel.... and I think she'd like me better that way. I wouldn't want to go through some bullshit month long test of hers where I'm trying to prove myself worthy of her vag. That's rubbish.

I say this only after years of being a chump and putting women on a pedastal, and always losing them. No more.
 Affectionateguy
Joined: 8/9/2007
Msg: 90
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/30/2012 8:10:36 AM
Longer than a few months and I would pass....
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 91
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/30/2012 9:26:42 AM
Perhap's she has a "set way" of dating just like you have a "set way" (well, before you were engaged). What's the difference?

The difference would be in whether or not a person's ``rules'' (guidelines would probably be a better word), facillitate or hinder one in reaching the desired outcome. If waiting (or not waiting) is not achieving the desired outcome, then one must either change the guidelines or accept the outcome one is already getting. I couldn't think of a single good reason that a woman would need a month or even two weeks to decide whether or not to have sex with me, so from my perspective, by waiting, I would only be getting someone with traits that wouldn't be compatible with me.

Perhaps the most obvious reason is because when you start dating someone.....you don't know that person. Some would prefer not to have sex with someone they haven't even had a chance to develop any feeling for.....they might like that person....and be attracted to that person....but that doesn't mean they want to have instant sex with that person. I guess if women never waited to have sex......then they would have sex with every man they date. I don't know about you....but I would rather not treat my p&ssy like a revolving door.

If a woman has sex with everyone she dates, she isn't necessarily making herself a ``revolving door.'' She could just as easily go on many first dates and very few second dates, so that the guys she ``dates'' are very few and hence the guys she has sex with are also very few. Also, if a woman is wanting to not get into a relationship, I would think she would be better off not developing feelings for someone, since having sex with someone with whom you've developed feelings is going to either lead to a relationship or heartache.

I think what no one has mentioned so far, however is that some women are probably already well aware that they want to and will have sex with the new guy they just started dating, but fear if they go for it too soon, he'll think she's a whore. That's a REALLY valid concern, too.

I don't think that's a valid concern. It's more of an indication that a person is going to give things up to accomodate the opinions of people he/she disagrees with. If a woman is afraid that the guy she sleeps with will think badly of her for doing so, she's helping to perpetuate the double standard she objects to.

 prometheus76
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 92
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/30/2012 2:44:47 PM

I guarantee these men are the same type of people that blame OTHER people for THEIR own problem


I'm sorry, but needlessly gating physical intimacy is the very definition of projecting one's own problems onto others.


The bottom line is if the man is not willing to wait at all......then he is not interested in "dating"......he is interested in "hooking up" first and then perhaps "dating"......which I could care less what people want to do....but claiming to not understand why anyone would wait to have sex.....lol......NO ONE could be THAT dumb or oblivious.


Okay, for starters... STOP USING SO MANY ELLIPSES...!!!!

Secondly, many many people equate dating with intimacy. Without one there isn't the other.
 OutofControlMan
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 93
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/30/2012 4:35:27 PM
yes if I could anticipate being with a smart, sexy hottie like ^^ and knew that getting to taste her would be in my future
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 94
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/30/2012 7:57:24 PM
I'll wait until tomorrow. Well, that is unless and offer comes through tonight.
 prometheus76
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 95
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/30/2012 8:11:27 PM

1. So you think the woman has no say so about when to have sex??


Of course she does, don't be silly. However, I have the right to come to my own conclusions about if she is using sex as some form of currency or reward.



2. You think just because she doesn't jump right in and have sex with you...that she is "FORCING" you to wait


No, I don't expect "to jump into bed right away". You have woefully missed the point and I am honestly weary from attempts to convey it to you.



3. You think the woman is an unhealthy individual just because she might want to get to know you first before having sex.


I will bail on someone gating any advancement in a relationship in order to preserve their own feelings. It reeks of baggage and I don't have time for it. Furthermore, what do you need to know?

When you say "get to know you first before having sex", it means that you are likely ignoring your body's calls for intimacy to install an artificial time constraint, thus gating the process. It is very simply logic.



Read what you wrote again. Can you honestly not see where you have control issues? I'm serious. Like I said....I don't see a problem with people wanting to have sex right away.....however....I don't see a problem or fault someone for not wanting to have sex right away and wanting to know a little more about the person. I can see both sides.....evidently.....you only have a one sided perspective of the situation (again.....speaks volumes about your mindset)


You have no idea of my mindset because you cannot exit your own.

I have not once said that I expect sex right away!

I have only said that if someone is NEEDLESSLY GATING natural intimate progression, they are unhealthy and a relationship with them is not really worth the effort for me.



Right. dating not a date or two.


Once again, step back from yourself.

I have not once said that I expect sex right away!


Then too, there is the activity of the date that may make a huge difference too...
Picking her up, going to a movie, sitting in the dark not speaking for 2 hours, and follow it up with a coffee then drop her off... is a vastly different date than a romantic dinner, followed by an evening out dancing and socialising and then perhaps a romantic walk on a moonlit beach....

The fact is, most men are willing to wait for the most part... despite what some of the men say...
And too, the ones who complain loudest about having to wait must be doing something wrong... I've never had to wait all that long, except in a few particular circumstances... To be honest, it's not even something I've considered...
But at the same time, when I go out with a woman, I'm in it for the fun of the date, the interaction and the whole bit... The woman is there to enjoy the experience with me, and add to it... I'm not taking her out as some form of foreplay leading to the real foreplay leading to the sex...
Seems to me that too many on here are seeing only the destination, and not enjoying the getting there... And if you're not enjoying the getting there, it's no wonder she won't sleep with you... You're probably putting out a bad vibe with your impatience, or reeking of desperation...


In all honesty, you make a very good point. When I'm on a date, I try to have the time of my life. Everything is fun, whimsical and laugh inspiring. Out of dozens of women; only a select few have put any real anti-intimacy constraints on the relationship.

But, this is a debating arena so we debate. If I were in a different setting with these gals, I would have a genuine smile on my face and be oozing with charm.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 96
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/30/2012 8:51:53 PM
I think willingness to wait on a man's part MOSTLY comes from how interested he is in her.

No, I know how long a woman will wait if she's really interested in me, so if it were to take longer than that, I'd figure she wasn't interested. That might not be the case, but whatever other reasons she might want to wait would make her even less attractive than just being not interested in me.

I don't really care what people think, but many women do care.

If a woman did care what other people thought, then I wouldn't want to date her.

Just as she would be if she sleeps with a guy who only wants sex...

The reason you think that way is that you hold that double standard, moreso than most. You seem to be unable to look at a male-female interaction and see the interaction as being the same with genders reversed.
 And_She_Was
Joined: 2/26/2012
Msg: 97
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/30/2012 9:14:35 PM
In my experience, yes, they are.

It almost seems to be one of the biggest ways a gentleman lets you know he digs you. I may be wrong, but it seems to be a pretty sure barometer. "You're worth the wait," he says. All I can do is smile - and hope that the smile does better justice than any words I can come up with.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 98
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 4/30/2012 9:44:50 PM
From what I read on these forums, many men are waiting a long time for sex.
 prometheus76
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 99
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 5/1/2012 4:32:01 AM

It almost seems to be one of the biggest ways a gentleman lets you know he digs you


When a man digs you, he will try to have sex with you. Not the other way around.


"You're worth the wait,"


You're probably not, but you keep insisting to yourself that you are. So when some beta rolls around and is willing to allow you to dangle your vagina around on stick that's tied to his back; you swoon.


All I can do is smile


Its funny that actually attempting to have sex causes the biggest smiles of all from the vast majority of women I've dated.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 100
Are men really willing to wait for sex?
Posted: 5/1/2012 4:44:20 AM

It almost seems to be one of the biggest ways a gentleman lets you know he digs you.

Right up until he stops calling without any explanation.

"You're worth the wait," he says.

I've never actually had the sort of conversation that would allow for such a response. Sex isn't something I ask about. It happens or it doesn't and I date someone or I don't.
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