Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 SpittyKitty
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 76
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

I'm not judging you kitty but why would you have kids with a guy that wouldn't support his first born?


That's a valid question. And rather a longer story than I feel like sharing. But I can say that he lied about all of it.
And I didn't find out about the child and his lack of support till after I married him.


Did his ex appreciate your help?


Of course she did. She needed the support.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 77
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 6/16/2012 11:28:27 AM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DEAD BEAT IS DEAD BEAT IT KNOWS NO RACE. COLOR OR SEX
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

agreed..
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 78
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 6/17/2012 10:38:07 AM
I lived though this with my ex's 1st dead beat husband. Lack of child support, in court constantly over unfounded accusations, not providing health coverage, no show visitation even when planned & such. What a long term mess it made of the kids.

Never in my wildest dreams thought I'd have to live it again as a STEP DAD & their mom the dead beat, so I didn't. I made do with what we had, worked longer hours to make ends meet & let mom be responsible for her relationship with her kids without my bad mouthing her or responding to her bad mouthing me. Court approved custody, for medical emergencies & such, was all I sought & that came by default since she didn't show.

5 years later that no show in court came back to haunt her. She assumed a big pay day was coming, during our divorce & from selling the house, but the judge slapped her with back child support. In the end she owed me money. I just wanted it over at that point & agreed to ownership of the house outright.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 79
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 6/17/2012 1:30:02 PM
Glad to see the judge saw that and made her pay. No one either gender should ever be allowed to get away with things like that; especially with their own kids... (and with a man not her kids' biological father even, that's a double whammy. Sorry to hear that nubeginning.



I just know I got father's day flowers from my daughter today since I'm both since her dad long since bailed; and it was incredibly sweet and I was really touched. :)
 BabyblueNTexas
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 80
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 6/17/2012 2:24:02 PM
Again--- I am going to be the opposite view on this post-- and someone else kind of touched on it here....

But maybe we ought to lower expectations of people who just can't be what we think they should be? When my daughter was first born, I kept wishing the guy I got pregnant by, would be a better human being. But the unfair truth of the matter is, some people just can not EVER be who we want them to be. Her father will never really be a good father because it just isn't who he is. I stressed myself out over wanting more from him-- more money, more time, more love, more--- anything! And honestly, my life didn't start to make sense or be happy until I let go of the expectations and saw him for who he was capable of being. Now if he calls.. its a surprise-- or if he wants to see my little girl-- a bonus for sure!!

Yes I agree many of us have unfairly been stuck with a crappy person to share a kid or more with.. but the root of the issue is you are trying to change the other party into who you are. You are the responsible one. You are the caring one. You are the cherished parent. And they never will be... pursue them in court as much as you can because the law can hold them accountable and then lower your expectations (and begin to worry less and smile more.)
 Daddywombat
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 81
view profile
History
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 6/18/2012 7:53:25 PM
I am dealing with a deadbeat mom. She recived a very nice inheritance from her aunt and decide she no longer wanted to be a mother. Those were her exact words. She now lives on the other side of the country and spent all her money following a boy band from the 1990's around the country. We are actually happier without her, but still my three little ones need some kinds of relationship with their mother.
 ronald13579
Joined: 2/2/2012
Msg: 82
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 6/20/2012 11:14:16 AM
all i can say is
"It's a hard road to be on "
 chilldad35
Joined: 7/27/2010
Msg: 83
view profile
History
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 6/27/2012 6:09:25 PM
I have dealt with a lot of the same things my friend. My ex screwed my over and left me with our daughter.... the only difference is that she was on drugs and has now landed in prison. I have had my daughter for 3 and a half years now and have never gotten a penny from her nor do I expect to. It's great to see other guys stand up and do the right thing. I am sure it will all work out in the end since it sounds like she abandoned the kids rather than take them with her. Any judge should see this for what it is..... keep your head up man
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 84
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 6/27/2012 7:36:03 PM
BabyBlue.. I hope it works out for you. You should let go and take care of what you need to take care of yourself.

however.. it's doesn't excuse the man, and it doesn't' make it ok. The point isn't trying to change them.. the point is that it shouldn't be ok for them to run.. it's NOT ok. I wasn't a responsible person when I got pregnant either.. I was forced to grow up and he was able to run. It shouldn't be accepted or ok.. and he shouldn't have excuses made for him. Until people really embrace this and let the guys (or the runner) know it.. it won't change..

That here one day gone the next thing isn't easy on kids.. I really hope he steps up for the sake of your daughter.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 85
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 6/28/2012 4:31:42 PM
It doesn't matter gender.. deadbeats are deadbeats..

you CAN'T make a parent stay if they don't want to. However it shouldn't be condoned for any reason when they do run.
 ronald13579
Joined: 2/2/2012
Msg: 86
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 7/11/2012 9:51:30 PM
first are you a single parent
and this sounds like gender bashing
it make a diference some times to the type of parent you are if you walk around bitter and hatefull or hurt
it does not help the child or you
man or women what does it gain the child not a thing all it give
the child is feeling of fear hate that"s all
think of the kids feeling of not wanting to see the other parent
and yes my kids may like a new pair of shoes for school to
but i'm not going to let that get to me and ruin the joy of being a single parent
 nettawoman
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 87
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 7/19/2012 4:04:48 PM
I do appreciate the man that takes full custody of his children!! That means there must be something good/special about that man.

Now a woman, who has to pay child support. I just look down on. UNLESS she is a drug addict or deathly ill. Other than, I feel a mother should be there 24-7 for her children. If you have to work 2 jobs to make ends meet do so.!!! Because, I know what I have done and continue to do til this day!!!
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 88
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 7/19/2012 4:20:48 PM
Why look down on a woman who has to pay child support?? That's ridiculous! There is a million reason why a parent isn't the custodial parent!! The only parent I would look down on is the one who ditched their responsibilities and runs from them. If they take care of the child whether they are the custodial parent or not, that's what matters! Maybe the father had better living conditions for the child? Maybe the mother has medical issues that makes her unable to care properly for the child? Maybe the dad had a good lawyer and raped her in court?? You have no idea why the situation is the way it is. Not being the custodial parent doesn't automatically make you a bad person or make you a deadbeat. Not CARING for your child does. There's a big difference! What matters is that they are paying the support and caring for the child the best way they can! Whether it's fair or not!
 SwanLake73
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 89
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 7/20/2012 7:13:01 PM

Now a woman, who has to pay child support. I just look down on.

I agree how silly and judgemental is that statement.
I pay child support to my daughter, it is the law. Even though I do not get to see her.
Does that make me a dead beta mum - not seeing her. No I cry myself to sleep most nights missing her.

Her father left in a drunken stupor we got divorced and he never saw her. He still drinks his days away apparently..
My daughter did not like my house rules, dress rules and boudaries. She actively sought out her father and moved 11 hours away to live with him because at aged 13 "she loves being able to stay up to midnight, do gaming, go to concerts on a school night, and have her boyfriend sleep over even though it is illegal.
Her father owes me thousands. I still pay my share to her while waiting for him to repay his debt to me for the 13 years I had sole custody.
No court orders because he was never there. She chooses to stay and of course he puts rubbbish in her head .. until she grows up and matures, I do what I think as a mother is best allow her to make a choice. ..although every part of me wants to bring her back home.

I do not want to be looked down upon for fronting up to my repsonsibility and paying child support. I am not a dead beat mum, and feel that every individual family would have a unique story and set of circumstances which should not be judged .
Can you read between the lines, when my husband left in his alcoholic daze, he made me a single mum.
Single mum judged.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 90
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 7/20/2012 8:05:53 PM




Now a woman, who has to pay child support. I just look down on.


Why look down on a woman who has to pay child support?? That's ridiculous! There is a million reason why a parent isn't the custodial parent!! The only parent I would look down on is the one who ditched their responsibilities and runs from them.


That is the silliest statement I have heard in a very long time.


I agree how silly and judgemental is that statement.
I pay child support to my daughter, it is the law. Even though I do not get to see her.
Does that make me a dead beta mum - not seeing her. No I cry myself to sleep most nights missing her.


Got to agree.....not the brightest comment....unless you have the same feelings of looking down on any man who is paying child support?

There is no reason any woman should look down on any woman who is not the primary custodial parent...after all we men are equally capable of raising our children. I think woman are overly harsh on woman who do not have primary custody of their children automatically assuming there was something wrong with them.

I have greater respect for a woman who is in fact enabling her children to live with their father as opposed to thwarting their choice so they can collect the child support....or no respect for the custodial mother who whines about what she does not have because the other parent disappeared or does not pay what she feels is appropriate as she refuses to look in the mirror and recognise the culprit of why or who is not providing what is required.

Lakeside....my applause for enabling your child a choice even if it will cause some problems...as I have doubts about the whole issue.....I had some rules in regards expectation and results in school....something my ex did not as she would allow and even encourage missing school....and my two never expressed any real intent to go to the home where there was less expectations. Sometimes the reality is choosing what is important and what can come later.

LOL....the future seems to be woman are earning more as they actually hold down employment...so the ones laying around home looking for or having a sense of entitlement might swing over in the next generation....

Reality is some just need a kick in the ass and to find employment!
 SwanLake73
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 91
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 7/20/2012 8:59:39 PM
Tealwood - thank you for you saying that.

Lakeside....my applause for enabling your child a choice even if it will cause some problems...as I have doubts about the whole issue.....I had some rules in regards expectation and results in school....something my ex did not as she would allow and even encourage missing school....and my two never expressed any real intent to go to the home where there was less expectations. Sometimes the reality is choosing what is important and what can come later.


It was difficult, but she is old enough to make a choice, and as she explained to me, she missed her father for 14 years, and she yearned for that all the while angered at his apparent rejection of her.
She loves the freedom and no rules, YES it is damaging her, she looked so mallnourished in her facebook. NO vegies and late nights are destroying her methinks, and her grades are dropping. But SHE needs to decide whether her father is a deadbeat dad, on her own. Without me whispering in her ear.

I have been treated harshly for not going and grabbing her and taking her home, but if I did- then what.. instilling resentment, taking away choices of a adolescent who is at the age of preparing for adulthood and not robotically doing as I say. Having her hate me and do more stupid things to deal with it.?
I taught her right and wrong, and deep down she knows it, she chooses wrong choices because they are fun and all teenagers like that.

I just wish as most of us split parent do.. no matter who the child lives with, both parents to CO OPERATE and BOTH parents focuss on making SMART choices for the childs welfare.

There are no winners for a child when ONE parent or both are deadbeat,. Mum or Dad.
Deadbeat parents = utter selfishness
 HunterOfDeadbeats
Joined: 7/8/2012
Msg: 92
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 6/23/2013 3:23:53 PM
Deadbeat Mom, Misty Strong aka Misty Daniels aka Misty Dawn Daniels aka Misty Dawn Strong aka Misty Dawn Daniels Strong. She now resides in the Hoquiam, WA or Aberdeen, WA area and is on the prowl looking for more victims. Protect yourself!

She preys upon men on the internet to impregnate her, so she can trap them. She has 3 children by 3 different fathers. She has abused, abandoned and neglected at least her first two, and actually led another family to believe her first child belonged to them for 2 years, knowing all well that child did not belong to them. Misty Dawn Daniels Strong, formerly of Denton, TX, Norman, OK, Oklahoma City, OK, Enid, OK, Blue Ridge, GA, Richmond Hill, GA, Hinesville, GA, Ft. Stewart, GA, El Paso, TX, Ft. Bliss, TX and the list goes on! As you can see, she's had many addresses and always lives off someone else, a TOTAL LOSER!! She abandoned her first child as an infant, and abandoned her second child at birth. That child's father is an illegal Mexican.

Her last victim got his taxes garnished for her child support, because she never paid it, and is now far behind again, because he's not around to get garnished anymore. She got pregnant by him while he was married to another woman and they had three children together. That victim divorced that wife with the three kids and married this deadbeat after they had a child together. He kicked her to the curb when he got tired of her sponging off him, and she's now on the prowl for another victim. I've seen her on here, she's hunting...

BEWARE OF THIS PREDATOR!!

www.facebook.com/mistydawn1081
 TheLiberator
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 93
view profile
History
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 7/3/2013 5:18:15 AM

I do however wonder how they kids feel when they are older knowing that this woman decided to keep them carried them for 9 months went through hours of labour and still couldnt or wouldnt love them enough to stick around.

Feels bad man.

It does make it harder when a serious relationship fails. Those old feelings of abandonment come flooding back again.
 Sleepless_in_C_Mesa
Joined: 6/24/2013
Msg: 94
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 7/9/2013 9:01:28 PM
Deadbeat mom. Yes, been there, done that. She managed to get herself killed and I have guardianship of her daughter.
 acehardlight
Joined: 7/10/2013
Msg: 95
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 7/22/2013 3:37:05 PM
dont forget guys our society has made it so if a relationship goes wrong its always the mans fault and that the woman is always the victim !!!!
 WNYmanToo
Joined: 7/6/2010
Msg: 96
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 7/26/2013 1:24:04 PM
daddydlb....

That's how it works here in the US....

Mothers, well, women in general, get all the supports of the courts, and laws, and such, no matter what the truth of the matter is.

Even when proven to be unfit losers, and all.

You can find story after story about how the father got/is getting screwed....there was one earlier in this thread.
 WNYmanToo
Joined: 7/6/2010
Msg: 97
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 7/26/2013 1:26:11 PM

Maybe the dad had a good lawyer and raped her in court??


ROFLMAO. It's typically the other way around!!!!
 n0denine
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 98
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 9/28/2013 2:06:04 AM
Dude, i even have a story about my sons mother. Back when we were still sharing custody (I have full custody now) we would alternate time with our son by one month, I still voluntarily paid child support (no court order). When I started a job that paid a lot more and provided healthcare benefits I found out 4 months later that she still had him on the government assisted healthcare, which means that she was still claiming him on her SNAP (food stamps). Since his birth I have always paid her (money orders) child support, which after calling the SNAP and telling the lady that my son had private medical insurance as well as his mother was getting child support from me, I found out that she never told SNAP that she got child support. The problem is that in Illinois when a woman claims a child and receives benefits for that child, the government will go after the father to make up the cost they are spending on her.

I found out why she didn't remove my son from the gov medical assistance program. It was because she was using the government assistance program to pay the ****ing $20 deductible for the private insurance. I didn't even know you could do that! The funny thing is that it is technically fraud for her to claim government assisted healthcare for her child while he has private insurance, the lady at SNAP said there is nothing they will do about it even though they know that it is fraud and illegal, they said they wont prosecute women while they have their kids in custody. I though it was bullshit.

The funny thing is that I believe the severe lopsidedness of this system is for a greater purpose. You guys should watch a documentary called "The House I Live In", it's about the "War on Drugs" and how it screws over middle and lower income class. Prisons create profit, profit not for the state, but for private corporations (in case most of you didn't know). The profit comes from the government, paying private prisons to house its prisoners, the government gets its money through taxes. Ultimately we are forced to pay money into the same system that unfairly screws us over in order to profit some giant corporation over petty non-violent, victimless crimes that come with ridiculous mandatory minimums and have nothing to do with rehabilitating, or helping out the individual. WTF is the point of locking someone up 5 years for not paying child support, then adding more back child support during the prison sentence, which goes on your record and makes it harder for them to find a job. Or why lock someone up for using 5g of meth for 35+ years on a mandatory minimum sentence, some drug addicts are victims and need help, not all of them are hardened criminals, the very least they could do is give some digression back to the judge and stop the ridiculously high mandatory minimums. American is the only country in the world that incarcerates over 25% of its 330 million people.

Lol, sorry for the rant. This shit gets to me sometimes, it's stupid.
 1owensound
Joined: 9/18/2013
Msg: 99
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 10/4/2013 11:14:48 AM
here in Canada the courts are letting the fathers have the kids more and more because they see the trend of women looking for the free ride they get
lawyer i talked to told me %90 of the divorces she deals with are because the woman caused it not the man and the men that fight for the kids usually get them because the courts see the truth now :)
so the free ride for the ladys is just about over
 Flurr
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 100
view profile
History
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 10/5/2013 3:37:14 PM
Here's a kick in the head for ya... I've been preparing income tax returns for people for 10 years now and when a man claims the eligible dependant amount for a child in Canada that is an automatic red flag on the return and the vast majority of the time it will cause them not to get their entitle refund on time and in some cases many months down the road. :-(
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?