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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?      Home login  
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 SwanLake73
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 91
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Tealwood - thank you for you saying that.

Lakeside....my applause for enabling your child a choice even if it will cause some problems...as I have doubts about the whole issue.....I had some rules in regards expectation and results in school....something my ex did not as she would allow and even encourage missing school....and my two never expressed any real intent to go to the home where there was less expectations. Sometimes the reality is choosing what is important and what can come later.


It was difficult, but she is old enough to make a choice, and as she explained to me, she missed her father for 14 years, and she yearned for that all the while angered at his apparent rejection of her.
She loves the freedom and no rules, YES it is damaging her, she looked so mallnourished in her facebook. NO vegies and late nights are destroying her methinks, and her grades are dropping. But SHE needs to decide whether her father is a deadbeat dad, on her own. Without me whispering in her ear.

I have been treated harshly for not going and grabbing her and taking her home, but if I did- then what.. instilling resentment, taking away choices of a adolescent who is at the age of preparing for adulthood and not robotically doing as I say. Having her hate me and do more stupid things to deal with it.?
I taught her right and wrong, and deep down she knows it, she chooses wrong choices because they are fun and all teenagers like that.

I just wish as most of us split parent do.. no matter who the child lives with, both parents to CO OPERATE and BOTH parents focuss on making SMART choices for the childs welfare.

There are no winners for a child when ONE parent or both are deadbeat,. Mum or Dad.
Deadbeat parents = utter selfishness
 HunterOfDeadbeats
Joined: 7/8/2012
Msg: 92
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 6/23/2013 3:23:53 PM
Deadbeat Mom, Misty Strong aka Misty Daniels aka Misty Dawn Daniels aka Misty Dawn Strong aka Misty Dawn Daniels Strong. She now resides in the Hoquiam, WA or Aberdeen, WA area and is on the prowl looking for more victims. Protect yourself!

She preys upon men on the internet to impregnate her, so she can trap them. She has 3 children by 3 different fathers. She has abused, abandoned and neglected at least her first two, and actually led another family to believe her first child belonged to them for 2 years, knowing all well that child did not belong to them. Misty Dawn Daniels Strong, formerly of Denton, TX, Norman, OK, Oklahoma City, OK, Enid, OK, Blue Ridge, GA, Richmond Hill, GA, Hinesville, GA, Ft. Stewart, GA, El Paso, TX, Ft. Bliss, TX and the list goes on! As you can see, she's had many addresses and always lives off someone else, a TOTAL LOSER!! She abandoned her first child as an infant, and abandoned her second child at birth. That child's father is an illegal Mexican.

Her last victim got his taxes garnished for her child support, because she never paid it, and is now far behind again, because he's not around to get garnished anymore. She got pregnant by him while he was married to another woman and they had three children together. That victim divorced that wife with the three kids and married this deadbeat after they had a child together. He kicked her to the curb when he got tired of her sponging off him, and she's now on the prowl for another victim. I've seen her on here, she's hunting...

BEWARE OF THIS PREDATOR!!

www.facebook.com/mistydawn1081
 TheLiberator
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 93
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We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 7/3/2013 5:18:15 AM

I do however wonder how they kids feel when they are older knowing that this woman decided to keep them carried them for 9 months went through hours of labour and still couldnt or wouldnt love them enough to stick around.

Feels bad man.

It does make it harder when a serious relationship fails. Those old feelings of abandonment come flooding back again.
 Sleepless_in_C_Mesa
Joined: 6/24/2013
Msg: 94
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 7/9/2013 9:01:28 PM
Deadbeat mom. Yes, been there, done that. She managed to get herself killed and I have guardianship of her daughter.
 acehardlight
Joined: 7/10/2013
Msg: 95
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 7/22/2013 3:37:05 PM
dont forget guys our society has made it so if a relationship goes wrong its always the mans fault and that the woman is always the victim !!!!
 WNYmanToo
Joined: 7/6/2010
Msg: 96
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 7/26/2013 1:24:04 PM
daddydlb....

That's how it works here in the US....

Mothers, well, women in general, get all the supports of the courts, and laws, and such, no matter what the truth of the matter is.

Even when proven to be unfit losers, and all.

You can find story after story about how the father got/is getting screwed....there was one earlier in this thread.
 WNYmanToo
Joined: 7/6/2010
Msg: 97
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 7/26/2013 1:26:11 PM

Maybe the dad had a good lawyer and raped her in court??


ROFLMAO. It's typically the other way around!!!!
 n0denine
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 98
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 9/28/2013 2:06:04 AM
Dude, i even have a story about my sons mother. Back when we were still sharing custody (I have full custody now) we would alternate time with our son by one month, I still voluntarily paid child support (no court order). When I started a job that paid a lot more and provided healthcare benefits I found out 4 months later that she still had him on the government assisted healthcare, which means that she was still claiming him on her SNAP (food stamps). Since his birth I have always paid her (money orders) child support, which after calling the SNAP and telling the lady that my son had private medical insurance as well as his mother was getting child support from me, I found out that she never told SNAP that she got child support. The problem is that in Illinois when a woman claims a child and receives benefits for that child, the government will go after the father to make up the cost they are spending on her.

I found out why she didn't remove my son from the gov medical assistance program. It was because she was using the government assistance program to pay the ****ing $20 deductible for the private insurance. I didn't even know you could do that! The funny thing is that it is technically fraud for her to claim government assisted healthcare for her child while he has private insurance, the lady at SNAP said there is nothing they will do about it even though they know that it is fraud and illegal, they said they wont prosecute women while they have their kids in custody. I though it was bullshit.

The funny thing is that I believe the severe lopsidedness of this system is for a greater purpose. You guys should watch a documentary called "The House I Live In", it's about the "War on Drugs" and how it screws over middle and lower income class. Prisons create profit, profit not for the state, but for private corporations (in case most of you didn't know). The profit comes from the government, paying private prisons to house its prisoners, the government gets its money through taxes. Ultimately we are forced to pay money into the same system that unfairly screws us over in order to profit some giant corporation over petty non-violent, victimless crimes that come with ridiculous mandatory minimums and have nothing to do with rehabilitating, or helping out the individual. WTF is the point of locking someone up 5 years for not paying child support, then adding more back child support during the prison sentence, which goes on your record and makes it harder for them to find a job. Or why lock someone up for using 5g of meth for 35+ years on a mandatory minimum sentence, some drug addicts are victims and need help, not all of them are hardened criminals, the very least they could do is give some digression back to the judge and stop the ridiculously high mandatory minimums. American is the only country in the world that incarcerates over 25% of its 330 million people.

Lol, sorry for the rant. This shit gets to me sometimes, it's stupid.
 1owensound
Joined: 9/18/2013
Msg: 99
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 10/4/2013 11:14:48 AM
here in Canada the courts are letting the fathers have the kids more and more because they see the trend of women looking for the free ride they get
lawyer i talked to told me %90 of the divorces she deals with are because the woman caused it not the man and the men that fight for the kids usually get them because the courts see the truth now :)
so the free ride for the ladys is just about over
 Flurr
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 100
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We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 10/5/2013 3:37:14 PM
Here's a kick in the head for ya... I've been preparing income tax returns for people for 10 years now and when a man claims the eligible dependant amount for a child in Canada that is an automatic red flag on the return and the vast majority of the time it will cause them not to get their entitle refund on time and in some cases many months down the road. :-(
 FunseekingDad
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 101
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We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 11/15/2013 7:39:09 PM
I'd love to find a lawyer who is familiar with family law here in New Brunswick, Canada. When we were just initially living together (before marriage), my ex and I got completely destroyed by a Child Protective Services worker who was having a nervous breakdown and decided to make us scapegoats or an example. The judge caught him lying on the stand and rather than a charge of perjury, she admonished him and continued on as if nothing happened! Anyways, now she decided to leave after many years of emotional and financial abuse to me, leaving me with the pets and our son. Despite her having a good paying job, she is always broke, likely from helping out her boyfriend and his kids, she even receives the Child Tax Benefit and spends it apparently other than on her son, for whom I am the primary caregiver. Oh but I can't change that, since I need her signature on the form! She then has the audacity to ask ME for money when I'm trying to suddenly support myself and my son etc. and she is effectively "stealing" these payments! (Not to mention the money I was dumb enough to lend her when she started this job away so that she could go there and "pay off the bills", a loan which has yet to be repaid.)

The only silver lining is that our son is doing much better since she left and is coming out of his shell, being less shy (he wasn't shy a bit when he was younger), is doing fantastic at school and so on. I keep getting compliments on doing such a good job, but I could do better if I could afford activities and so on like I should be able to do if I were receiving support and the government payments.

The divorce is supposed to be amicable and she acts like we are friends, but with her (diagnosed) mental illnesses, I expect it and any discussions of custody to be a complete and utter circus despite overwhelming evidence that she is unfit as a mother. She says she wants to be his mom and wants to have him visit, but when he does, he comes second to her boyfriend and his kids. It disgusts me and turns my stomach and I'm scared it is going to set him back as she wants more access over the next while.

So yes... you can define it however you want and try to weasel and manipulate your way out of acknowledging it, but if they chose to have kids ($10,000 surgery in our case, and guess who is still paying the bill), and *especially* if they want any rights, then there should be no doubt whatsoever that they should be stepping up to their responsibilities and be paying!
 rosewood_girl
Joined: 10/30/2013
Msg: 102
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 11/15/2013 11:45:00 PM
I've seen them both. Deadbeat dads that won't even admit they are one. Just refuses to pay child support, won't even talk to their own child cause they have issues with the mother. Very selfish. Then I have seen single dads who have full custody of their children. Mother is a drug addict, whould rather be hooked on drugs than be with her children. Both are pretty sad.
 lovefun99
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 103
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 11/20/2013 6:24:26 AM
My ex was/is a deadbeat mom, I got full parental custody of my children in 03 due to her not sending them to school, neglect etc... Her own mother testified on my behalf.
After our last court appearance she was supposed to have supervised visitation, she scheduled appointments but never showed up. (she lives in Georgia, we live in Florida, it's a 5 hour drive)
She called the kids a couple of times that first year then that was it, no birthday, Christmas cards , presents, nothing for the next 6 years.

I continually had to go to court because she would stop paying support as she moved from job to job and all around the southeast. The court finally told her that the next time she moved to another state to avoid paying support, that it would become a federal case. That scared her into paying support on a more regular basis. She still owes me over 10k in back support. She quit paying again recently as she switched jobs again. My kids are all over 18 now so she does not pay any current support.
My children are in contact with her but have come to realize that she is not the parent they thought she might be.

Here is the kicker: She is a well educated woman who works at high paying jobs as an R.N. She does not have alcohol or drug problems, she is remarried with a 9 y.o. child. She is just very narcissistic.

So yes there are deadbeat moms out there who just don't give a crap about the children they birthed.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 104
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 11/20/2013 7:48:31 PM
I continually had to go to court because she would stop paying support as she moved from job to job and all around the southeast. The court finally told her that the next time she moved to another state to avoid paying support, that it would become a federal case. That scared her into paying support on a more regular basis. She still owes me over 10k in back support. She quit paying again recently as she switched jobs again. My kids are all over 18 now so she does not pay any current support.
My children are in contact with her but have come to realize that she is not the parent they thought she might be.

Here is the kicker: She is a well educated woman who works at high paying jobs as an R.N. She does not have alcohol or drug problems, she is remarried with a 9 y.o. child. She is just very narcissistic.

So yes there are deadbeat moms out there who just don't give a crap about the children they birthed.

So can I ask….what did you accomplish? Was the best interest of the children served pursuing the mother expecting or demanding your desire of financial compensation?
Mine never paid a dime. I figured enabling her to have a home and to have self respect would do more for my children than expecting her to contribute to my house hold expenses.
But then again after 12 years….they also know who will be there for them without question or without expectation.
A dead beat can just as much be a custodial parent as it can be the non custodial parent.

I had a job….I was able to provide for my children without extorting financial resources from my ex enabling her to provide a second home for our children if they so desired.

Of course it sometimes meant less for me but then I never saw my children as a revenue stream like some parents seem to see them as?
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 105
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We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 11/27/2013 5:48:50 PM
Pursuing a parent for cs doesn't equate to viewing one's children as a revenue stream. It is about holding someone accountable, enforcing the notion of responsibility. Even if you can provide for your children on your own, why shouldn't they reap the benefit of two parents who contribute? No one dictates that the money go to household expenses. One who pursues cs & is successful is certainly able to make a decision to, say, invest in a college fund, or hand over the cash to the child when they turn 21, get married, etc.

I have little doubt that this poster's children benefited from the monies he did receive as a result of his perseverance, as they should. It's a matter of how you look at it, is all. You are no more "right" than are the rest of parents; whatever works for you.
 CaptainAmerica300
Joined: 2/16/2013
Msg: 106
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 4/2/2014 4:18:48 PM
Wow, a lot of different angles here. I just wanted my son to grow up, and be the best person he could be. I could go on a long rant about his mother, but it is not about the mother. Yes, she has tried to be a deadbeat, but the occasional court appearance seems to fix that, for about nine months to a year.
She has never really even tried to be in his live, though I have encouraged it. Though she lives only fifeteen miles away, he still only sees her about three times a year. I am so glad he is turning eighteen in August. One last trip to the court house to clear up the arrears, and done. It can't come soon enough.
He will start college in the fall. He is a 2nd degree black belt, and most of all. He has survived this whole ordeal without any bitterness. I am very proud of him.
Remember the focus should be on the child, adults do what adults do, for better, or worse.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 107
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We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 4/2/2014 7:32:00 PM
There are deadbeat parents. You can ask the State to help but after 8 years it never worked for my family, then the ex died leaving the kids with no real memories of Dad because he chose to run away rather than parent.
He wasn't a bad man, just a really sick person that needed more than any partner could give him.
I went to my court appearances expecting nothing and got what I expected. I wasn't ever going to put my kids Dad in jail. I never spoke poorly of him in front of them. I didn't have the heart for that. He missed a lot of fun, love and milestones because he was off balance.

I guess I won. I have the kids and I struggle to pay bills, and have to do the worrying of two parents but it is worth it. My kids will be productive educated adults.......who really like their Mom.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 108
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We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 4/4/2014 7:10:43 AM

I gave up our first son for adoption and im thibking about finding another family for our secend son because frankly i am not going to waste my life either. My body is ruined ive wasted six years of mylife dating my ex and mothering his kids while he galavants around living as if he didnt have kids. People are sympathetic tohim because im "crazy",



I drink and smoke weed all the time now just to numb the pain of being forced waste my life for this loser


This is one of the saddest posts I have ever read. You really need to get some help. I feel so sorry for the kids.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 109
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 4/4/2014 2:28:16 PM
This is one of the saddest posts I have ever read. You really need to get some help. I feel so sorry for the kids.


It's so sad, it's comical. She says she's looking for a guy who is well endowed and she likes flipping off cops. How charming.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 110
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We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 4/4/2014 7:47:36 PM
"I gave up our first son for adoption and im thibking about finding another family for our secend son because frankly i am not going to waste my life either. My body is ruined ive wasted six years of mylife dating my ex and mothering his kids while he galavants around living as if he didnt have kids. People are sympathetic tohim because im "crazy", most people blame single mothers for their own misfortunes and take men off the hook because "she just isnt good enough for him". the reason why men like them young isnt only for their bodies but for thier lack of experience with dealing with men, they can get away with alot more with a young girl then they can with a woman who knows already what kind of ***holes men like you are. "

I don't think I can face palm enough for this.
Children are a waste of your life?!? Did I really just read that?...Really? Being angry at men is OK, but taking it out on innocent kids is freaking pathetic. The waste of life are people who hurt innocent children. Oh btw, lady, someone on these forums gave me some good advice for a different situation, but it can apply to you as well. If one person says you are an idiot, you can ignore him. If many people say you are an idiot, chances are you are an idiot. With that said, lady you're ****ing crazy, get some psychiatric help soon.
 lovefun99
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 111
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 4/7/2014 11:28:14 AM

So can I ask….what did you accomplish? Was the best interest of the children served pursuing the mother expecting or demanding your desire of financial compensation?
Mine never paid a dime. I figured enabling her to have a home and to have self respect would do more for my children than expecting her to contribute to my house hold expenses.
But then again after 12 years….they also know who will be there for them without question or without expectation.
A dead beat can just as much be a custodial parent as it can be the non custodial parent.

I had a job….I was able to provide for my children without extorting financial resources from my ex enabling her to provide a second home for our children if they so desired.

Of course it sometimes meant less for me but then I never saw my children as a revenue stream like some parents seem to see them as?


What did I accomplish?

As I made significantly less money that the mother, it was a huge benefit to get child support. When my children needed cars, I was able to buy them and pay for their insurance only because of the child support. She would never have provided anything at all for them, she is too selfish.

I don't see how enabling her to have a home and self respect come into play in my situation, she chose not to have ANY contact with her children for 6+ years, how could that do more for my children? There was never an option for her to provide a second home for my children. I do not see how you can call it extortion, she should have wanted to provide for them.

Yes, in the end it served the best interests of my children.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 112
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We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 4/13/2014 7:33:53 AM
You are exactly right, lovefun. It is about fulfilling one's financial responsibility to their offspring, who are entitled to the financial benefit. No matter how anyone tries to portray it, losers are always the children when a parent refuses to support them. The sacrifices are borne by them, and they are truly the only innocent ones in these situations. Good for you!
 lovefun99
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 113
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 4/28/2014 10:33:19 AM
She's a deadbeat because she did not want to provide for them in any way, financially and emotionally.

Since when is a 10+ year old car to a working teenager a luxury? It's not like I went out and bought then new BMW's at 15! First car my son got was a 200o Dodge that burned oil like a mosquito fogger, but it was $1,200.00 so I could afford it.

Why do you insist on glorifying deadbeat mothers?
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 114
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 4/28/2014 2:57:54 PM

She's a deadbeat because she did not want to provide for them in any way, financially and emotionally.
Why do you insist on glorifying deadbeat mothers?


You married her or at least you procreated with her.....she may be less than optimal in what you want or desire in a parent but she is still the mother of your children.
I love how you were able to survive and exist yet provide the necessitates for your children on your income....so they were not too hard done by in terms of a house to live and food on the table. they just did not have a car!

But then will always be those like ohwhynotmee----who feel entitled to the payments.....
It is about fulfilling one's financial responsibility to their offspring, who are entitled to the financial benefit.

Now the usual defense for ohwhynotmee is defending custodial mothers who do not work or do not work full time and still are entitled to the financial support and payments....while they sit at home and defend why they are not working or not working full time.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 115
We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?
Posted: 5/5/2014 4:10:59 PM
lovefun99- The courts consider who makes more and the person who makes less gets child support.
You seem to get the childishness that goes hand in hand with refusing to support your children (or resenting it).
The well being of children trumps everything, divorce is difficult enough on them without one or both parents being petty.
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > We all heard of deadbeat dads-what about deadbeat moms?