Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 katty1981
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 62
How do you cope with being single? Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Perhaps a cat? they sleep 18 hours a day anyways....pets are amazing you don't realize until you get one other then that start a business you'll never have time to think about it or get some hobby's. I like to stalk people and start fights on forums, always brightens my day
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 63
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/6/2012 7:02:15 AM

Perhaps a cat? they sleep 18 hours a day anyways...


I find this type of advice very annoying (get a pet) and I see it quite a bit here. Getting a pet should not be viewed the same as getting a new pair of shoes or a purse. Pets need a loving home and they require daily care and love for the next 10, 15 years. Telling people to get a pet is like telling women to get pregnant and have kids if they are bored or lonely. Do you think people who like animals and want a pet would need strangers to tell them to adopt an animal?
 UniquelyPassionateCandy
Joined: 8/6/2011
Msg: 64
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/6/2012 8:06:09 AM
I have found it's not really about coping, it's about just living. You still have to live your life, being single is just a part of that. So I find working lots, and spending my weekends with my kids fills my time quite nicely. I agree being single can have it's lonely moments, but that is when you find a hobby or something you enjoy doing (even if it's something as simple as going for a walk).
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 65
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/6/2012 8:17:04 AM

I find this type of advice very annoying (get a pet) and I see it quite a bit here. Getting a pet should not be viewed the same as getting a new pair of shoes or a purse. Pets need a loving home and they require daily care and love for the next 10, 15 years. Telling people to get a pet is like telling women to get pregnant and have kids if they are bored or lonely. Do you think people who like animals and want a pet would need strangers to tell them to adopt an animal?



This is true of some kidns of pets maybe... but it actually really does help when someone has something that loves unconditionally, is huggable, has personality and makes a person smile and feel loved and wanted, when they are rebuilding their life and feeling lonely for some kind of contact.

It definately does make sense to research what kind of animal would be a good fit for lifestyle since some are more difficult than others (my daughter's cat thinks she's a dog and is one of the neediest most loving and most bizarre things I've ever seen... so not ALL cats are no attention required) but there is an emotional investment with a pet that is far different than a pair of shoes (though those have their own kind of emotion... lol)

I don't think the people that suggest the idea are forcing the idea nor do they not take into hte account the time; but the purpose for it; it is actual psychologically accepted fact that people suffering from any kind of depression or loneliness get a great deal of benefit from the attention care and focus of loving a pet. And having pets and having raised three kids; trust me; suggesting a pet is FAR different than telling a woman to go out and have a baby :)
 AnAustralianWoman
Joined: 4/26/2012
Msg: 66
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/6/2012 8:33:34 AM
You dont need to take goldfish for a walk and they forget you have left them alone all day anyway! A bird is also a good pet for a busy person.
Helping out at a shelter or pet rescue may help you to appreciate what qualities you do have.
Romance is not all it's cut out to be.
I was single for 15 year's then got into a relationship, it lasted only 9 month's because he took up too much of my time and whined. Wanted my attention 24/7 and I needed my own space.
I'm actually concerned for you as you don't seem to know how to fill your darkest hours.
You need to work on yourself and ask yourself exactly what is it you want from life.
Do you feel unattractive? Your not.
Do you come across as needy? Yes.
Sure your young, but so am I (only twice your age).
Try making your life about YOU and not what other people expect from you.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 67
view profile
History
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/6/2012 8:47:48 AM
Hi OP,
the best way to “cope” with being single is to follow your passion. Don’t wait for someone else to spice up your life. If you meet the right person, great. If not, work on being okay with that too. And I see that you are trying. I think that’s very admirable. I recently started taking Hip Hop and Zumba classes several times a week and I’m making new connections, friends, and learning dance moves that make me feel great about myself.

I would love to be with someone too but I realized when I try too hard I am not being true to myself. I get very good at convincing myself someone is right for me when he is not. Men come and go. You’ve gotta find happiness as a single woman and the rest will be the icing on the cake. This will also give you a good foundation for happy and healthy future relationships.
 amalefriend
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 68
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/6/2012 4:02:19 PM
I don't cope, I enjoy.
 Deathftw
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 69
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/7/2012 2:04:15 AM
Keep yourself busy, exercise, get friends, not male friends-female friends. Mastery in things builds self confidence like acheieving goals, and dreams. otherwise that's all I can give yah.
 katty1981
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 70
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/7/2012 4:16:54 AM

Do you think people who like animals and want a pet would need strangers to tell them to adopt an animal?

Yes. That's why i said it....
I didn't like animals until i accidently ended up with one and its the best thing that's ever happened to me!
Get a pet!!!!!
Get a pet!!!!
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 71
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/7/2012 6:52:14 AM

but capn america if as you say "No one is really happy alone." then what are they bring into a relationship... other than a needy clingy person?


Basically? Half a rent and something different than your right hand to blow your load...
Guess why I'm still single? LOL!
I dunno, I havent found the value of bringning someone else in my life right now. Maybe if someone worthy comes along. But those girls are one in a million.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 72
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/7/2012 9:12:31 AM
I cope the old fashioned way, sex, drugs, and rock & roll.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 73
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/7/2012 9:13:32 AM

I cope the old fashioned way, sex, drugs, and rock & roll


Dude, THAT is the life lol.
I hope when I get to the age where we got the same hairdo I still think like you do, sir
 daf1970
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 74
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/7/2012 11:11:16 AM
the best way to cope is to do for your self. once you get to the point that you are somebody and you are the important one you will be fine. You have to do things you enjoy and thats when you will meet someone that has things in common with yourself. I enjoy being single myself but it did take some time to get there. You can do it hold your head up and go for it, you may just surprise yourself.
 spilling_fire
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 75
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/7/2012 11:28:03 AM
You have to be ok with who you are when no one else is stroking your ego or your body lol.

How do you cope? Don't even think of it as "coping". Think of it as living your life to the fullest. Masturbate, leave the house, go skiing, go hiking, learn to paint, join a dodgeball league, take a road trip. Discover the world and discover yourself. You're young and have a lot to learn and I don't mean that condescending at all, I promise! But as you age, you'll appreciate your alone time far more than you realize. If you think of being single as some sort of horrid hell you live in, I suggest you reevaluate your needs/wants and where they stem from. A relationship should never be about making you feel complete. You must be complete before you ever begin a relationship.
 Divine_huntress
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 76
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/7/2012 5:04:01 PM
Codependency is a serious issue; being single isn't!
Sometimes in your life you will be alone; some people will disappoint you and leave you hanging. Do not place you happiness on other people. I usually face loneliness, I don't get busy like others have suggested, I stay alone, make a cup of coffee and enjoy it with my own company. If I cannot enjoy my own company, How would I expect others to do so? I know this may seem weird, but I like being alone, as much as I like being with someone.
 7thour
Joined: 12/2/2011
Msg: 77
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/7/2012 5:11:01 PM
OP:

I have been through close to the same thing and I know better and once you know you can't pretend you don't know so would I let it happen again?

My guy...my internet interest is so handsome, he is so good at words, his voice when he calls is warm and welcoming. He works in another state and has a family home here where I live, but his children live in a totally different state. So you see he is spread out all over the place and I can't meet him for another few weeks.

We have shared intimate details of our lives with our ex-spouses and he has sent via mail and on the phone said these incredible and beautiful endearments towards me. All of this in less than a months passing.

Have I returned the sentiments. No Mam. But he sure makes it hard because he is so very, very handsome and loving. I do return the e-mails and the messages on POF and I will as long as he continues to keep in touch.

Will I be disappointed if it turns out he is not real? Sure. Do I have a least a small amount of hope that he is real and that everything he says to me is truthful and honest? Yes.

Could he be the same man you have described? Abso-freakin-lutely...and that my dear is what keeps me grounded.

Some may say that this is what happens on the internet but the worst pain I have ever felt was when a man I had so very close come to falling in love with, turned out to be married with two children. He fooled me for six months.

So, you see it doesn't matter where you meet them....if they want to deceive you they will and nobody is immune, not man, not woman, not old, not young. But for every liar, cheater and adulterer who tries to defeat the inner core of who we are there is love to be found here too. I have seen it. It is in my family. MY nephew met his wife of many years now here on POF. I have friends who have met their significant others here.

So, you see here on POF or out there in the physical world of meeting people, there is a beautiful and unique person just like you, who is reading this, writing a question, taking a bath, sitting at the waters edge reading a book or walking along a path of loneliness and waiting for you two to find one another.

Don't give up. Just keep your eyes wide open so when the time comes, you can see him.

Until then, enjoy discovering yourself, your likes, your dislikes. Write more, read more, eat something you never tried before, go to museums and art shows and talk to people. Say hello and smile at as many people you can every day. You never know if your smile just made their day.
 leagueofextraordinarymen
Joined: 4/12/2012
Msg: 78
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/8/2012 6:23:38 AM
After I picked up my dog at the SPCA I remained single for 10yrs ! damn dog !!! :)
 bluenit64
Joined: 5/4/2012
Msg: 79
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/8/2012 7:08:42 AM
Noodles,

Wow, sounds like you got the short end of the stick ms, just remember there are all sorts of people on here the good, the bad, and the trollers, my thoughts are keep looking ad in your profile that you will not date or talk to a man who is already taken then take a vacation to resort your mind and come back to pof and hang out at a local book store as well. I'm sorry all of that had to happen to you :(

-Sincerely,

-James.
 sexandthepof
Joined: 10/10/2011
Msg: 80
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/8/2012 7:31:24 AM
I was your age before, I was alone, I experienced what you are experiencing now... I understand how you feel. I overcome them all. Here is my advice:

Work two jobs. Go to the bank, find a financial adviser to help you to invest money wisely. Earn money to buy a cool, sports, convertible car, drive it with the hood down, let the wind blow your hair in the air :-) No, I'm just kidding. Not everybody can afford that. Go to gym, walk or run on the treadmill until you soak in your sweat, do some sports like ski, skate in the winter, play tennis, badminton, golf in the summer,whatever you like. Volunteer at some charity organizations... do anything to keep your mind busy so you don't have so much free times to wish for a boyfriend to be happy with. You can be happy with any body around you, not just the opposite gender. Anyway, there are lots of single people out there, younger and older than you. You're not a lone.

When you are confident, stable on your own, independent, people will like you better. Mostly, people don't like to be with someone poor, independent, clingy, whiny…

You're still so young, do something. Don't just sit there and feel sorry for yourself. Take one day at a time. Someday... one week, one month, one year, one decade will pass by. And you look back, you would feel proud of yourself that you did well.
 playfulpete
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 81
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/8/2012 7:47:37 AM
Girl,you really need to get a life.Get out more with freinds,family,you don,t need a partner to be happy
 Meems919
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 82
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/8/2012 7:52:18 AM
Don't compare your inside to someone else's outside.
 Ratsrule
Joined: 9/22/2011
Msg: 83
view profile
History
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/8/2012 9:16:39 AM

Hmm giving affection to others and helping others isn't something I had thought about before, when being single. But it does make sense.

I would really love to have a pet, but I work long hours and live in the middle of town, so it would be a little unfair.

I do think that an additional way of meeting people, perhaps a second casual job will help. I do also long for more single friends..


That's why i keep rats (at the moment) or hamsters... they require minimal care except food water cage cleaning and a bit of social time with you, and it still feels good having a snuggle with them or playing with them whilst they're out. Very convenient pets.

have you tried meetup.com? it's a site to help you meet different people and learn new activities. I thought it would be rubbish but just went to a conversation exchange yesterday and it was brilliant - very friendly group of people and made a fair few new friends. Highy recommend.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 84
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/8/2012 9:41:17 AM

How do you cope with being single?

Cry myself to sleep everynight cursing my imperfections, damning myself to well and wishing that I was George Clooney with the same checkbook. My walls are all bangned up with all the time I threw my head in them. Just hearing the word relationship spoken out loud throws me into histeria fits that would make Celine Dion jealous.
Late at night I fall asleep on the couch dreaming of sleeping with Drew Barrymore only to wake up, realise it's not real, and wondering if this time, I WILL dare throw myself off the balcony. Then I remember my fear of dying (too permanent for me) and don't go through with it. Instead I inflict myself even worse pain; I tape Stephen Harper speeches and watch 4 hours of them.............

That's on a good day.

LOL!
 Rob3444
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 86
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/8/2012 11:20:38 AM
First off, you were tricked and it happens, wasted your time but must have learned something. No need to mistrust all guys now. (that happens a lot) you will get over this as we all do.
Your idea of being single as if it's so bad, could be reevaluated.
Do you envy every couple? I don't but I know many that envy my new found singleness.
I'm 54 and not worried about living out my life single so an attractive young woman should really not spend much time on this. No I'm not flirting and that brings me to something important:
I do not go very far to find someone because long distance sucks almost always. That being said my last wife came from Germany to Canada to marry me but no prob. it was in the first discussion obvious that it would be as easy for her to do that. When she found me my ad said (not more than an hour away).
If the person won't meet me ASAP once we know we want to meet, I move on, it's usually a waste of time.
I have known people that take years and then finally get a love interest over here from the other side of the world and then the import just looses interest in them in a few months.
 me5327
Joined: 10/13/2011
Msg: 87
How do you cope with being single?
Posted: 5/8/2012 5:07:53 PM
Hello,

I do things such as go to the gym, go for walks and hang with friends. My day is pretty much full with work and coaching basketball so I stay busy. If it is meant to happen it will happen.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >