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Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 17
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New Feature? Sending a Flirt.Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I hate to say it, but internetdatinglol is right: giving this feature to men will destroy it, just as happened with "winks." Really, it's only slightly lazier than copy-and-pasting the same message over and over again -- which is apparently such a big problem that POF made a rule against more than 4 of them a day. I guarantee you if men had this power, women's email boxes would be flooded with these messages -- to the point that some couldn't even wade through them all and give up on the site -- it's already bad enough for some of them with men currently forced to come up with somewhat original thoughts of certain character lengths; imagine how much worse it would get if men had to do nothing more than click a button.

And that's in a world where clicking it multiple times wouldn't send multiple messages -- Good Lord, how some guys would abuse that concept! But I agree with whoever said that should be taken away from women, too -- only one message no matter how many clicks!! It is a good thing, however, that this message goes to the regular inbox and not some "special" inbox like Meet Me's do -- because it wouldn't be long before men stop checking that special inbox if problems arose with the "Flirt" concept.

Women already fill these forums (and some their profiles) with complaints about men not writing enough or good enough in their opening messages -- if they suddenly started getting twice as many messages in their regular email box and half of them were "Flirts," that could lead to absolutely no good. However, most men on here (jaye apparently excepted) couldn't care less how a woman attempts to let him know she is "interested" in him, since most of us get so few legitimate indications of interest on here anyway. By God, a woman could let me know her interest by sending an electric shock over the internet that knocked my fingernails off, and if she was attractive, I'd still send her a message. Certainly it's a better indicator of true interest than "Viewed Me," and I email nearly all women that I find attractive who "view me." (Sometimes leading to conversations -- which is kind of the point of this: some women [certainly not most of the confident 1% hanging around in forums] just can't find it in them to make the first move. So a simple click just helps them out.)

Interesting questions: does "Flirt" count as a first contact email? Such that you can override their mail settings if you don't meet them (which is part of the problem with "Meet Me")? And can you block someone who sends you a "Flirt"?

All this said... "Flirt" won't improve MY lot whatsoever on this site. If anything, it's actually worse than "Meet Me." Your appearance in "Meet Me" is pretty much just a random selection to any woman so I have as much of a chance of appearing on that page as any other guy. But the vast majority of profile views that will lead to "Flirts" come about through the main search pages, from which 95% of women will exclude me because of my height and ethnicity. Considering I got 5 Meet Me's in 2 years of that feature (most men complain of having 50+ and not being able to sort them all), and get about 2 non-stealth views a week (1/10th of what the typical male in a large metro gets) and average 1 first contact email every 3 months, my educated guess would be that I will never see a "Flirt" -- I mean, a woman open-minded enough to not to be excluding me from her searches is probably the type that's not so shy that she can't email me. So while I think "Flirt" (implemented correctly, which I'm not sure about yet) can't hurt and probably is a good thing for the site, for me personally, it's likely as meaningless as anything else on this site. It's just somewhat encouraging from an altruistic point of view to see the site do something intelligent for a change lately.
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 18
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 5/8/2012 3:13:01 PM
Please please please please please please don't give this to men!!!!!!!!!!

It's bad enough as it is, how most of the men on here ruin this site
Joined: 12/8/2011
Msg: 19
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 5/8/2012 3:32:12 PM
This is what will happen to not just men doing it by the millions but women will do it too, whereas before they would have sent out an email to try and get talking.

If they where going to send you an email they still will, the ones that maybe where too shy will use this feature and unless your mailbox is already flooded with messages the worst thing that could happen is you get an email from someone that is interested in you and you not so much in them.

I bet many guys sit on their hands because they are afraid of the rejection and maybe it will only happen on the rare occasion but there is a chance that this works as an icebreaker.

Again, there is no downside.

THIS. WON'T. WORK!!!! And you're KILLING what DID work about this site. I swear Marcus has got nothing better to do now that he is sitting still now that his site and what it wanted to do for people became a success. He's just bored and got no challenges, so he's scraping the bottom of the barrel to come up with stuff that isn't needed.

He became a success not from doing something that no one thought of, but doing something that no one thought would work.

So maybe just because you do not think it is going to work, might not mean that the site owner can not make it work.

If it ain't broke - don't fix it.

If you never try and fix it, you will never make it better.

p.s. Please do not give this to guys, only for women.
 Sea- Side
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 20
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New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 5/13/2012 9:26:03 AM
At least half the guys I email do not respond. The Flirt saves me the time of writing pointlessly! Doesn't matter whether guys get this feature or not, when I unhide my profile I get lots of one liners (even when I set length restrictions--- they pad with junk), a Flirt would replace those and would be less depressing :)
Joined: 7/14/2010
Msg: 21
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 5/13/2012 3:35:23 PM
I like this new feature because it can be difficult to compose an introductory message (I know some women aren't comfortable with doing that anyway), so this is a way for women to show interest and let the guy take the lead if the feeling is mutual. It's also good for the guys because you already have some indication that the woman will be receptive to communicating with you.
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 22
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 5/14/2012 8:58:51 AM
I hate all Winks and Flirts and God Bless sites that give us the power to turn them off. Those things are like SPAM.
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 23
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New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 5/14/2012 10:23:21 AM
i was wondering about that because it dont' see any flirt option anywhere and i'm a gold member so it must be for women only to send flirts.Well that's good then cause guys will spam the hell out of women with that feature.
Joined: 4/3/2012
Msg: 24
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 5/14/2012 10:57:31 AM
I think it's a lazy feature. Now there will be a ton of questions about why doesn't she answer my "flirt".
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 25
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 5/14/2012 11:00:33 AM
I see this feature in both male and female profiles.

Guess it's not just for women??
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 26
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 5/14/2012 11:08:57 AM
It's just for women as far as I know.

Which is a good thing
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 27
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 5/14/2012 12:17:52 PM
My prediction is that most women won't use it. And the fact that their mailboxes won't be full of Flirts from men won't make any difference.
 Hi Hi Hi There
Joined: 5/5/2009
Msg: 28
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 5/14/2012 7:03:32 PM
Got one of these today and, in part because the sender is in super double secret lockdown stealth mode (and because, once I accessed her profile from my inbox, her profile text looked to me like boilerplate and her pic looked like a stock modeling shot) just assumed that it was sent by a spambot.

I also thought it was spam because of the boilerplate PoF message text --and the fact that I didn't know this was a new feature in the first place. Glad I came here and found this thread --I was about to hit the snitch switch on what I thought was a spam account.

For what it's worth, I think it's pretty much a solution in search of a problem --those who get tongue-tied in the presence of hawt always could add someone as a Favorite and wait for feedback (and, if none were forthcoming, unfave).

Now I'm in the position of having to ignore a passive-assertive "flirt" non-message from what may be a real chick who's keen or, in the alternative, responding to what could be spam (she is kinda fit; I'd be up for it).

Anyway if they're looking for a way to get the gals to summon the gumption around here, then why not have a Sadie Hawkins week or month --and if they do, then announce it in advance so that guys aren't caught unawares on the receiving end ::brightbulb::
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 29
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 6/16/2012 5:28:50 AM
The message I sent in response to one of the first flirts I received was instantly stopped with a none-too-friendly 'this member won't accept messages this short'. Obviously the member had a set up a character limit in her mail settings. My message was a couple sentences long, basically asking her if she'd like to know anything more about me.

Anyway, I found it laughable and ironic that someone who just clicked a button to send the flirt, which is about the laziest form of dating communication, had blocked any form of message back if it wasn't more than at least fifty characters. It was a turn off; and I didn't message her again.
Joined: 3/30/2010
Msg: 30
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 6/16/2012 3:21:14 PM

I see its for women only.

It seems that many women don't want to give up the types of traditional privileges in their favor such like expecting the man to make the approach and come up with something witty and unique or generally expecting the man to come running to them while they sit back on their pedestals and wait for it to happen while they do little.

This just gives women another reason to feel that they don't need to do any work. Men are expected to do most or all the ground work to make something happen.

From my experience, some women have added me to their favorites list. I seem to think that some do this because they expect me to make the first approach of contact and come up with something witty and unique instead of them doing this work. Now this flirt thing gives them another option to play the same type of game.

I just received a flirt before. What's stopping her from emailing me? Oh that's right, the male is expected to do the work in making the first contact in email.
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 31
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 6/16/2012 3:42:09 PM
^^^ Of course, when you answer her flirt with an invitation to meet she'll expect you to pick the place, date, time, and pay for everything, too.
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 32
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New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 9/4/2012 9:36:57 PM
The flirt option has been working oddly... or making a lot of liars out of people.

I have received numerous "flirts" and every one I asked about it insist they clicked on nothing and or did not send this.

so either something odd is going on or there are a lot of liars out there
Joined: 8/22/2012
Msg: 33
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 11/1/2012 3:09:26 PM
So much truth in this statement. Don't give the guys anymore weapons in their arsenal of harassment.
Joined: 4/23/2012
Msg: 34
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 11/3/2012 6:58:27 AM
For crying out loud guys! All I read are complaints about how women never respond to e-mail and never show any interest in this site, and when POF gives them a feature that allows them to do just that, now you're complaining that women are being lazy.
To be honest, I haven't seen any difference in the responses I get from sending a flirt or an e-mail. I get ignored no matter what form of contact I use, so why wouldn't I take the path of least resistance and just click a flirt button? At least I'm reading profiles and communicating with men who I think I have something in common with instead of just messaging guys based on their photos. Most of the men on this site are practically illiterate based on their profile content, if they have any content to begin with. Photos with sunglasses, baseball caps and other women hanging all over them seem to be the norm here, and the number of men who post shirtless bathroom mirror pics gives a run for their money.
My advice to anyone here who thinks they are too good to respond to a flirt from a "lazy" women would be to get very well acquainted with your hand. It's going to be a looong winter...
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 35
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 10/11/2013 9:03:15 PM
OKAY.....over 14 months since I created this thread...(no need to start a new one)....I've just today sent my second ever flirt. Upon reading my sent message it was the dreaded "Hi there". For goodness sake! We all hate those so why cant the generic message be something like: "Holly63 has expressed interest in you and has sent you this flirt."

Reading back over this thread I know, I know, I know it's perhaps a lazy way to send first contact. Okay I'm guilty too today but do people think the generic message should be a little more detailed such as I suggested above?

I havnt seen any further discussion on this topic but kinda hoped the wording may have improved. Well it hasn't and now I feel like an idiot, so yes, I'm going to follow up on my embarrassingly juvenile flirt with a proper message, (which defeats the purpose of the flirt feature, don't ya think? ). * rolls eyes*
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 36
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 10/12/2013 5:56:29 AM
Interesting. I haven't received a flirt in a long time, but I used to get a message similar to the one you outlined, not a "Hi there". That's pretty lame and more useless tweaking by POF by the look of it.
Joined: 8/8/2013
Msg: 37
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 10/15/2013 2:41:45 PM
Someone mentioned replacing the "Meet Me" feature with the "Flirt". I tried a test. On the "Meet Me" feature men show up outside of the +/- 14 (new ageism thing) because of the settings I have and I can say "Yes" to men outside the age restriction. However, if I try to send a "Flirt" to that person I cannot (or if they have restrictions on their email settings) so my thinking is one does not replace the other.
Joined: 8/8/2013
Msg: 38
New Feature? Sending a Flirt.
Posted: 10/16/2013 8:33:19 AM
Thanks for the explaination. Nice to know Maybe and Yes are possibly treated the same.
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