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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Coming up to bat and being out of the league.      Home login  
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 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 26
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

People out of MY league:
the arrogant, self-absorbed, money-hungry, pompous aholes that believe their assets, material goods, profession make them "better" than other people.
They aren't good enough for ME.

 1Petite4u
Joined: 2/8/2012
Msg: 27
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/11/2012 7:36:44 PM
This thread reminds me of my Mom's sage advice: Love is usually found with someone who was raised the same way as you.

Which brings me to the "league" thing, for lack of a better word. One could have tons more material things than I, or be way more creative than I. Yet if his original background was similar to mine I feel fine. It's only if I feel we are from different worlds - in either direction - that could be a problem.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 28
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/11/2012 8:26:04 PM
The bottom line is that some people will want to date you and some won't. The details don't matter.
 Triumph800rider
Joined: 10/10/2009
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/11/2012 8:27:02 PM
A few things I've learned.

I am an educated man. I don't care if a woman has the same level of education as me but I tend to click best with a woman with above average intelligence. Just gives us things to talk about. Not necessarily "intellectual" conversations. But a quick wit, insight and prescient observations on even the most mudane things go a long way with me.

Financially I could be comfortable living very simply and not having a whole lot of money as long as I could pay my bills. For some people that is everything. I don't mind if a woman makes a whole lot more money than I do. But if she regards that as the be all and end all rather than a by product of being good at something she loves then she is not for me.

As far as attractiveness is concerned, I am a sucker for chubby blondes. They rock my world.
 tuloa942
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 30
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/11/2012 8:28:12 PM
Someone asked if people would date someone of a lower "class" financially. I would and I have. Most of those that I've dated since my divorce earned less than I was earning at the time. If that person has the qualities that I admire it does not matter what he does for work or how much he earns.
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 31
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/12/2012 12:08:17 AM
OP: It is not so much that someone is out of my league or not in my league, but rather they may be outside my comfort zone or lack compatibility based on shared interests. For instance, I don't date executives who golf not because I am uncomfotable with weathy people but because chasing a little white ball around an expensive lawn for 4 hours on a Saturday is not my idea of fun. And the (very) attractive younger men who have asked me out are not out of my league, but dating someone whose parents I am closer in age to is outside my comfort zone. Just like water, we all find our level.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 32
view profile
History
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/12/2012 8:19:34 AM

nhra1966
@1388smartblonde. so your admitting all you want is a great looking guy, this is typical, its all about the looks. the shallowness shines through in every woman on here, thats why un attractive guys like me get NO dates on here, its sad.

That is NOT what she said. That is not even remotely close to what she said. Where do you come up with this stuff, are you just pulling it out of you’re a$$?

Back on topic. I agree with abelian, some people will want to date you, and some won’t. The ones who are willing to date you, that is your dating pool, those are your choices. In that dating pool, there are some that you are willing to date, and some you aren’t. Pick one that you like, and is willing to date you, go forth and enjoy yourself. This is supposed to be fun, remember?
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 33
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/12/2012 9:44:41 AM
Nhra, you sure feel sorry for yourself don't you. In the end people look for other people who will make them happy. Some women that means a good looking guy, or a good time, or money, or whatever. It never includes a self professed victim. Just sayin.
 egowitch
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 34
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/12/2012 9:48:00 AM
While there are many differences between people, I don't see anyone as "better" than anyone else.

And certainly - having more money , or not , does not make for being superior in any way - except maybe to meet their financial obligations more easily - though even that isn't always true !

Thus - I feel fine smoozing with anyone "high or low". Never had a problem getting along with most anyone - famous, rich, or otherwise.

Then it's simply a matter of being like minded, or having things in common with someone , that determines whether or not we become more than acquaintances, or at minimum , have a pleasant time .

I can remember having a far more delightful conversation with a Walmart checker, than with the VP of a company, that I met later that day !
 saddestangel7
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 35
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/12/2012 10:43:58 AM
Yes, I still feel that way. Even though I've been with men who are amazingly gorgeous that any woman would love to be seen with. Its hard not to feel a bit intimidated at times.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 36
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/12/2012 1:16:18 PM

But Landra, you're right. You usually say it better than anybody else. I have been out with men who have money a few times, and I didn't like it. And money is relative, an IT guy can make a whole lot more money in NYC or San Fran compared to Minneapolis.

Why didn't I like it? Because their money is all they talked about and they were so self absorbed. Married man thought that because he made money I should be enamored with him and look past his flawed character. What a dork.

The other guy who I went out on quite a few dates talked constantly about how much money he made, how much he paid for this, that and the other thing. Bla, bla, bla. I asked him once if he ever wanted to meet someone who liked him for who he was and not his money and he said no.

I don't feel bad for the rich guys, there are plenty of women who are only interested in them for their money. If I meet someone who treats me well, is respectful to everyone, doesn't have major character flaws and I later find out that he happens to be rich...I certainly won't turn him away :)

My issue w/ this post is that it is a generalization/prejudice...if a guy earns a decent salary he must be: evil, stuck-up, bad, one dimensional, etc. It's also like saying if a man has $$ that is THE ONLY REASON A WOMAN WOULD WANT HIM. Well, there are men w/ money that are creeps, & men w/ $$ who are nice guys, if you want to break it down to a simplistic level.
I've dated broke/poor/cheap & everything else up...the better times were with men who were not neccessarily WEALTHY, but financially solvent. They were more relaxed, well-balanced, not at the bottom of Maslow's Hierachy of Needs/food chain! I found the broke guys to be more self-absorbed, woe-is-me, irresponsible, whiny, manipulative sob's who took NO RESPONSIBILITY for their poor choices!
Money is not bad, money is not filthy lucre, but an excessive worship of it is!

Good, 'classy' people come from all walks of life. There's no mold, no template.

Isn't that the truth? It cannot be bought.

agreed!

I met two people at around the same time and got to know them both over the course of several months.

One was very wealthy and lived in a multi-million dollar home, had 2 luxury import cars and lived a life of "charity parties" and expensive travel, with 3 maids, a gardener, and all the other "personal assistants" required.

The other lived in a mobile home park, drove a 15 year old car and enjoyed low-key activities, like golf at the local county course.
One was a self-centered, egotistical user who assumed everyone existed to serve their needs. "Friends" were just people who had something to use. Huge sense of entitlement.
The other was a kind, caring person of very good character who went out of the way to help others.

Yeah, that wealthy one was way out of my league.

Yes 2 extremes & I would not want to be around the wealthy obnoxious person. The mobile park guy probably knew how to MANAGE what he had, so he could enjoy golf, etc.

Also to note with maturity comes the wisdom it takes more than love to pay the bills so yes assets matter in the way of providing someone with a stable lifestyle, medical and car insurance, spending money for things you want to do in life.

Some of us have wised up ;0)

People out of MY league:
the arrogant, self-absorbed, money-hungry, pompous aholes that believe their assets, material goods, profession make them "better" than other people.
They aren't good enough for ME.

right on!

As far as attractiveness is concerned, I am a sucker for chubby blondes. They rock my world.

That's it, I'm eating dessert today! LOL!
 stellavixen
Joined: 2/17/2012
Msg: 37
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/12/2012 1:21:17 PM
I am a sucker for a fast driver in a revamped muscle car.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 38
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/12/2012 1:59:16 PM
Look, the facts are that guys who make money are generally better catches because:

1) they are often smarter
2) usually more educated
2) oftentimes better looking . . because money buys health and knowledge and so successful people are more likely to take care of themselves. . with plenty of exceptions of course. Additionally, I believe that good genes that give intelligence also often give good looks. Of course this is my personal observations and not necessarily scientifically valid.
3) The successful have better personalities and thus get along with people better
4) Are more motivated Rather than sitting on their rears watching a football game, they go out in the world and take it by its horns, try to get an education, try to make something of their lives..

Lots of not successful people are nice people, but not necessarily interesting people you would want to spend time with. Success doesn't make somebody interesting, but interesting people tend to be those who strive to be successful.

You can spot online the people who have class as compared to the people who don't, often by the opinions they express. For example, the pathetically ignorant will accuse Obama of being just like Hitler, whereas the intelligent who don't like Obama will have far more ability to express their dislike. They might say that Obama is too far left and is driving the nation into bankruptcy, or that his socialist leanings (I don't agree by the way).

The point is that people tend to gravitate to people who are like they are. The educated with the educated. The crass and classless with the crass and classless. That's the way you would expect it to be.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 39
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/12/2012 4:29:44 PM

Look, the facts are that guys who make money are generally better catches because:

1) they are often smarter
2) usually more educated
2) oftentimes better looking . . because money buys health and knowledge and so successful people are more likely to take care of themselves. . with plenty of exceptions of course. Additionally, I believe that good genes that give intelligence also often give good looks. Of course this is my personal observations and not necessarily scientifically valid.
3) The successful have better personalities and thus get along with people better
4) Are more motivated Rather than sitting on their rears watching a football game, they go out in the world and take it by its horns, try to get an education, try to make something of their lives..


So how many guys who make money have you dated?

I know men with a high school education who joined the military and are now making more than some of guys with masters--and they are pretty hot looking to boot!

Life isnt always fair and to lump people into groups as uneducated, crass or classless shows a certain lack of intelligence--I know growing up I was suppose to be Ms. Happy Homemaker, I had the grades to be in the College prep classes and my guidance counselor said to take them cause otherwise I would be bored with the other classes but I was discouraged from going to college--after high school most of the jobs I had allowed me to make as much money as some who had gone to college but I smacked that glass ceiling on being both a woman and only having a high school degree.

Now I am going to college but it is a personal choice for me and dont eliminate those without a college education cause it is not a reflection of intelligence, success, creativity, motivation or most importantly for this age group--A REAL PASSION TO STILL LIVE!

Just remember when you exclude a group or class or league from your life--you are also excluding yourself from theirs.
 tbicon
Joined: 5/6/2012
Msg: 40
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/13/2012 12:09:53 PM
Giggles, forget the money part....Eduxation is extremely important. Perhaps the best way a person can better themself. I get life gets in the way of education, but at least you always wanted one and are getting one now. Bettering yourself after highschool, whether it be a vocational or avademic education, in my opinion says a lot for a person. Having no interest in bettering onedelf puts a person in a lower class imho.
 IcyBlues888
Joined: 5/5/2012
Msg: 41
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/13/2012 12:44:12 PM
OMG.. and yet if the same guy decided a woman was too heavy, he would not be telling you to spend more on food than on clothes.. my answser to that is ... READY...
It's MY money and I will spend it as I see fit. And if you don't like the way I look or don't agree with my lifestyle.. buh bye... I didn't ask for your opinon!!!!

As far as leagues go.. Many guys have a perception of who I am based on my photos (and they are always wrong). My grandma was right. Don't judge a book by its cover. I don't care how much money you make, if you have a high school diploma, or graduated first in your Harvard Class. We all breathe the same air and its free, we all get up in the morning and go to work, deal with family issues, balance friends with family and life. Some day we will all die. The goal is to just find someone who compliments your lifestyle, cares about you, and makes you happy and vice versa. The rest is meaningless.. Sounds simple... and it is..
 zippytwo
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 42
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/13/2012 12:47:05 PM
I pass on guys who post pictures of a very active lifestyle, because I know I could not keep up with them. Also run across guys with a stated preference, usually looking for "a petite, well built, in shape, etc," because I'm not that. Money is not a biggie for me, although he has to have a job or be self sufficient. I once had a partner who had lots of money, but it turned out his money ended up driving a wedge between us. He thought I was after it. I wasn't...obviously because I broke up with him. People were surprised I did that, but money isn't everything.
 IcyBlues888
Joined: 5/5/2012
Msg: 43
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/13/2012 12:53:20 PM
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and chemisty is a crap shoot... Sometimes it just happens. I like muscley dudes. I fell in love with a man much older than me, not built, short, bald and not what anyone else would think of as 'good looking'. He only needed to look good to me....
We were together for a long time and it was lovely...
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 44
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/13/2012 1:03:24 PM
I prefer not make dating a judgement call.
Either on my worth
or others.

I see it simply as a matter of compatibility.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 45
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/13/2012 1:24:27 PM
I believe her. When I was younger, I fell in love with a man much older than me, not built (in fact, a fat guy), short, grey-haired, definitely NOT rich, and not what anyone else would think of as 'good looking'. We were together for five years until we both relocated in opposite directions.

So just because you prefer to take the negative view in all things (which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy), that doesn't mean that stories like icyblues' are not true.
 windowgarden
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 46
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/13/2012 7:27:41 PM
I used to feel that there were "Leagues". And I was in one...The higher one.... But now that I am older I feel that is a moot point at least for me. I once married a very rich man, I had anything and everything I could ever want and need but was very unhappy... I divorced..And fell in love with the garbage man..Really, I did...I was so so happy..My bottom line is now, in my 50's I would rather be poor and happy then rich and unhappy. Unfortunately my garbage man died of a massive heart attack a few years ago..I am now seeing a lawyer who is wonderful and "just a nice guy".....Not rich...Not poor...And it's wonderful!
 geoweb
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 47
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/14/2012 4:13:06 AM
I agree with the previous posters who defined 'league' as comfort zone. It really comes down to what 'matters' to each of you.A comfortable home in a neighborhood where I don't feel the need to lock the door, dependable transportation, good friends, fresh air and sunshine, good health and a little left over at the end of the month are NEEDS! My list of WANTS might include things that others might consider to be NEEDS, so we obviously are in a different league. From my perspective, neither 'league' is better, but just different.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 48
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/14/2012 4:51:40 AM
win,lose,or draw..i'm still gonna take my swings..if you dont have thick skin and can't take rejection, u shouldnt be on a dating site.
 ottgatman
Joined: 1/26/2012
Msg: 49
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/14/2012 7:14:40 AM
You never know. My girlfriend is younger, has a higher education and better job and is much more attractive... and contacted me. But I had an interesting profile and photos. You have to be in the game to be in any league. Sometimes the wild-card wins!
For some people, it is more about what you 'do' and how you act than what you possess or your level of education. Be prepared and willing to act and then let 'luck' happen! Remember that you are allowing them to be lucky to have met you as well.
 aboutgettingby
Joined: 2/18/2011
Msg: 50
Coming up to bat and being out of the league.
Posted: 5/14/2012 9:46:29 AM


This came up this weekend for me. I met someone from another site for dinner. After we said hi, he said that he was curious about what the 5% difference was between us (this other dating site, asks many questions and we rated as 95% compatible). AND, he had researched our answers and was baffled by one of my answers. I thought, initially, oh, how cute. So his question was " is it true that you spend more money on clothes than food?" So, without missing a beat - I knew the answer to this one - I said absolutely. Then I see this worried look on his face - he then says - "you spend $10,000 a year on clothes?" Now I'm confused - I have no idea about the $10,000. So I said, "well I don't think I spend $10,000 on clothes but I'm certain that I spend more on clothes than on food." He will not let this go...he explains that as a single person, I should be spending about $10,000 on food so.... By this point I'm feeling very uneasy, I'm making a mental tally of the clothes I'm wearing on the date (boots, jeans, belt, undergarments, camosile, shirt, scarf, jacket, bag) $1500 easy. So I'm trying to figure a way out of this so I explain that I travel 100 days a year and all of my meals are paid for by someone else. He's happy with this answer and we move along in the conversation. Phew. Two hours later were strolling around and he tells me he that he just bought a used bamboo bike on e-bay for $2,500 and that some special bike GPS gizmo for $300 (even though he has another version). I just smiled. Sigh!



Great post, it gives one perspective, for me belt $45 , pants $30, shirt $15, $shoes $70, buy one set a year that lasts 5-7 years you have a weeks worth of clothes, so if I spend $250-300 a year on clothes that is about right.

I think it is all about comfort, a person that spends alot on clothes probably wouldn't want to be seen with me, just a preference on what is important to them and makes them comfortable.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Coming up to bat and being out of the league.